Crazy Mommy Chronicles

Every May, Conway has a festival called Toad Suck Daze. We missed it last year because it was during the time that JC was living out here and we were still in Oklahoma getting ready to move, so this year was our first. It is a big festival that goes on downtown with food, music, arts and crafts, and a carnival. If you were like me, you are wondering where the name came from. This is what I found....

What does "Toad Suck" mean anyway?

Well, the answer is quite simple... Long ago, steamboats traveled the Arkansas River when the water was at the right depth. When it wasn't, the captains and their crew tied up to wait where the Toad Suck Lock and Dam now spans the river. While they waited, they refreshed themselves at the local tavern there, to the dismay of the folks living nearby, who said: "They suck on the bottle 'til they swell up like toads." Hence, the name Toad Suck. The tavern is long gone, but the legend and fun live on at Toad Suck Daze.

Everyone around here gets VERY excited about Toad Suck Daze. Around our neighborhood, the highlight of Toad Suck Daze are the toad races. Every elementary school age child on our block was running around, for a week prior to the festival, trying to catch the biggest and best toad to take to school for the preliminary toad races. It is my understanding that the winners in the schools get to take their toads to the festival to race. Well, our little Neely was right there in the middle of it, and mad as a hornet when she found out she was too little to race toads at school. So to appease her, daddy promised to take her toad hunting all by herself. Now, toad hunting really isn't a hunt. They are everywhere! We have toads on our front porch all spring/summer long. They are along the fencelines, and in the backyard (I actually hit several throughout the summer while I mow....YUCK!) So, Neely and daddy went out and caught several very nice toads. She was pleased as punch...although daddy did all the actual "catching". We were finally able to get her to hold one....she was too cute! The school kids got a nice, fancy box from school to put their toad in and take to school . The best I could find was this old shoe box...the only problem was that Neely's toads kept getting stuck in the holes on the side of the shoebox trying to escape! So we had our own "Toad STUCK Days"!

OK...I KNOW that I have totally dropped the ball on my blog for all of you who pay attention! I blame it on Facebook. I have just been using Facebook to keep in touch, and have been neglecting my blog. But....I'm back, because I can't narrate pictures or express thoughts and feelings on Facebook. I guess I just need to find a happy medium between them. I have some catching up to do so I will start with Easter.

The kids and I had Easter together. Unfortuatally, JC had to work....we hate it when that happens! JC and I hid eggs throughout the house the night before for them. Holidays are fun again around here because Neely is the age where Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny are still real. Josh had it all figured out some time ago. Neely's eggs were colored, with candy in them. Josh's eggs were cammo with money in them. I hid a few of Josh's eggs too well....we didn't find them for a couple of days! Hehe!

The pictures of the kids aren't very good. Neely had been soooooo sick! You can see that her nose is soooo raw from having it run. I was determined to go to chruch on Easter, so I drug them there but we left after Sacrament. Poor pumpkin! Later that day we had dinner with our neighbors, Jeff and Jenn. I am thankful that we have such great friends to spend holidays with since we are so far from family. Overall it was a great day!

After what seemed like forever, Bodhi was finally old enough to go pick up. The kids and I had planned to go pick him up on a Saturday, but JC came home and announced that he had the day off the Thursday before and I jumped at the chance to have an extra adult for our adventure. So Neely, JC, and I went and picked up Bodhi. The breeder we bought him from lives in Dexter, MO. I was excited to go because I have never been up that way. Well, I wasn't missing much. There is NOTHING up that way! It's even ugly...a lot like Kansas...just flat and tiny, tiny, farm towns. The interstate doesn't even go through. It stopped at a certain point, then you had to get off and go down the old little 2 lane highways, then the interstate started up again once you got to Missouri. It was very strange. Anyway...when we got to her house, I was able to see Bodhi's mom and dad. I had seen pictures of them, but it was different in person. His mom was a very pretty harlequin (white with black spots), and his dad was the BIGGEST black dog I had ever seen. I mean, they are Great Danes...of coarse they are big...but he was HUGE!! I even had a few moments to myself of "What in the world was I thinking??" His name is T-Bone. The top of his back came to the top of my hip. Then add his neck and head....he literally wasn't much shorter than me! He was GINORMOUS!! There aren't enough adjectives. Well, Bodhi's mom was smaller, so hopefully he will be a good middle.

It has been a ton of work having him home. The first few nights he was up every few hours just like an infant. Boy that got old fast! I guess I'm not as ready for a baby as I'd like to think I am. :) Now he sleeps just fine through the night. He is a ton of fun to play with, although I think our Beagle, Max, is wishing he would go away. Bodhi tries to play with anyone that will have him, including the cats. That gets pretty darn funny. They will entertain him for a few moments until he decides to pounce, and then he gets a face full of claws and takes off yelping. Then 5 minutes later goes back for more! He makes us laugh all the time.

He is growing soooo fast! I expected him to grow, but I had no idea. Sometimes when I get him up in the morning I think I can see that he actually grew overnight!! It's been just over a week and I have already had to loosen his collar a notch! (It was big on him when I put it on him) At this rate, he will be bigger than Max before spring break. I wonder how that will go....hmmmm.

Well, all these firsts keep me on my toes and it has been a fun new adventure for our family! Our Bodhi has been a great addition to the family!

His eyes were a neat surprise! I had not been able to see it on the videos the breeder sent...I think it's cool!

Neely has been taking swimming lessons at the health club we joined recently. She absolutly loves it! I have not had to beg her to go once....which is a lot different than gymnastics. She also really enjoys spending time in the nursery while I workout which has been a huge blessing for me. It is much easier to do the things I need to, to get my health around when I know that she is enjoying her time. The only drawback has been that by being in the nursery, she has been exposed to a whole new set of germs. In the last 3 weeks we have had a yucky nose and the throw-ups, but I figure she probably has to build up some immunity and then things will be better.....hopefully. She has also been able to go swimming with daddy a couple of times while mom works out and that is a real treat. He gives her a real workout. He puts her arms around these little bar-bell things the women use for aquacise and then she kicks herself all over the pool...and then ALWAYS falls asleep on the way home. :) Since Joshua is over 12 he has free reign of the basketball courts and raquetball courts. He is allowed to do that unsupervised while I work out. He has really taken a liking to raquetball. There are a couple of older gentlemen there almost every time we are that take the time to play with him and teach him things. He is really enjoying it. He and I have also started doing some strength training which is fun to do together. Joshua always cracks up the other patrons by kissing his bicepts when he is finished. I'll have to get a picture of that one of these days. The club has been a huge blessing in my quest to get myself and my family living a healthier lifestyle....now if I could only get Joshua as excited about eating better....oh well, one step at a time!

Joshua has grown up sooooo much this year! School has ALWAYS been a struggle for him...especially reading. He has always read 2-3 grade levels below where he was supposed to be. This has been going on since kindergarten. He has been tested and retested looking for a reason for his difficulty, but results were always "normal". Most parents look forward to the end of summer and their kids going back to school, I didn't. I was just the opposite. I hated when school started. Before this year, EVERY evening was a war in our house. He hated doing the work because it was difficult for him, and frankly he was a little lazy. We would fight and argue and I had to constantly push him to do the minimum. I could not understand his lack of ambition. I never understood why just getting by and doing the minimum was OK with him. I usually ended up doing a lot of his work for him just because I couldn't bear the idea of another evening of fighting. It was horrible for both of us. When we moved to Arkansas and registered Joshua for 6th grade I told him that he was either going to pass 6th grade or he was going to fail 6th grade, but he was going to do it on his own. I was no longer going to subject myself and our family to the sick ritual we had each night of anger and bad feelings. I would help him with big project if he needed it, or if he was absolutly stuck on something, but other than that he was on his own. This was a big step for me. My fear that he wouldn't succeed was what kept me helping him and enabling him all of these years, but I knew it had to be done if he was to ever to be a successful student. Well, we started school and I stuck to my guns. It was tough at first but in just a short time Joshua saw how I was serious about what I said and it was time to sink or swim. The turn-around he has done academically this year has been amazing! He is the student I always knew he could be and MUCH, MUCH, more. He has had a little help on 2 lage projects he has had, but other than that he has done everything on his own, and has gotten straight A's all year to date. This is far more than I had ever hoped for. I was just hoping for B's and C's, and praying for A's and B's. He is so concerned about every bit of what he does. He is organized and on top of all of his assignments. He studies for tests on his own....as a matter of fact, I usually don't even know he has one unless he tells me or I overhear him talking to a friend. The tranformation is nothing short of a miracle in our house. It has been such a blessing for us and for Joshua. I have never seen him so proud...he just beams. I am so proud of him! I don't know what clicked but I think he finally has it figured out. The other thing that has brought him great joy this year is getting the priesthood. It has really completed our little transformation in him. His spirit has changed this year and I am even more proud of him than I was before. I thank Heavenly Father each day for the beautiful son that he sent me and pray that I can continue to make good decisions and guide him each day. I love you Josh!

I just saw this on my friend Annette's facebook page. It made me laugh...thought I would share.

Neely got invited to a Valentine's Day party with the other preschoolers in our ward. She was very excited! We had a good time putting together her valentine's for the other kids. They were Disney Princess valentine's (of coarse) with a pencil that went with them. I tried to explain that we should get something different because there were little boys at the party too, but that was like talking to the wall, so Disney Princess valentines it was. We both had a great time, and were thankful for the time we got to spend with friends. Thank you to all those who took the time to make a special morning for the kids!

Just in case any of you have been wondering how Bodhi is doing, here is the latest video of him. Since they became mobile, she takes group videos. Bodhi is the only one that is black, white, and grey. As of last Monday he was 5 weeks old and 8 lbs, 10 oz and gaining about 3 pounds per week. We have plans to go pick him up on February 28th. Everyone here is VERY excited. And no, those aren't all her kids, I think she had some friends over. :) PS...If you want to hear the sound you have to pause the music at the bottom of my blog

I did it! I am a warrior mom as Oprah would say! I am the type of person that if I decide I'm going to have something, I don't care who tells me no, I WILL make it happen. You can call it stubborness, bull-headedness, or just plain spite...it is something I have had all my life. Although...it didn't work to well for me when I was a teenager...hehe! That was for you mom! Anyway...I was updating my mom on the situation after my post, and she suggested to me that I should call the compounding pharmacies in Conway (these are the pharmacies that have the hormone treatments I am looking for) and ask them which Dr's in Conway send prescriptions in to them for the stuff I want, and then call that Dr. I don't care how old you get...your mom is always smarter than you are. :) So I did it. One of the Dr's at Conway Womens' was the one who told me no, and do you know the the doctor she suggested? Conway Womens'! So I had her give the name of the specific doctor(s) that they work the closest with. The answer was TJ Moix, or Heather White. So I made an appointment with TJ. I saw her yesterday morning. We talked for a long time about what I had already been through, and she was VERY knowledgable about PCOS. She knew the frustrations of having your labs come back "normal" but being a complete hormonal mess. She asked me if I wanted to have another baby. My initial reaction was no, because in my head a baby=fertility treatment, and I am not ready for that right now. So she said that I should be on some form of birth control to prevent pregnancy. That is SO NOT what I meant! The idea of NATURALLY getting pregnant hadn't even occured to me. I had to explain to her that if I happened to get pregnant on my own that would be the coolest thing that ever happened to me...I just wasn't ready for fertility treatment right now. So since I don't care about getting pregnant, it opened up a whole different way to treat my PCOS, including the progesterone cream I wanted in the first place. The progesterone cream was just a tiny portion of the conversation we had about my treatment plan. She was wonderful!! An answer to my prayers. So I am I my way, down a treatment road I have never been down before with a doctor who is ready to go to battle for me. I have never had that before in the 15 years I have been battling my problem. I am truly grateful to my Heavenly Father for answering my prayers, hearing the desire in my heart for something different, guiding me to the right doctor and giving me the determination to make it happen. I am hopful that this is a new beginning for me. I'll keep you updated!

Well, it's been a while since I posted something so I thought I would just update everyone on what is going on here.

Joshua continues to LOVE being 12. It is probably the first time I have ever seen him excited to go to church. He would always go without argument, but now he is excited. Turning 12 has made a HUGE difference in his perspective, and I am very thankful to Heavenly Father for that. In the past it was something he had to do, now he wants to be there and is excited about it. His favorite part these days is Young Mens. He told me it is the one place where he has friends where he doesn't have to worry about what they are doing or saying. Translated into mommy language, I think it means he feels safe. He doesn't worry about getting involved in an activity that is inappropriate, or hearing or using language that is vulgar or crude. I am so thankful to the older Young men for being such a good example to him. I think it will make all the difference in the world. How lucky we are to be in such a great ward!!

Neely is still her 3 yr old self. Hehe! I made the comment to JC the other day that she has been so much work lately!! Her 3's have definately been worse than her 2's. I have always wanted more children, but have had a hard time having them, and she has made me realize that Heavenly Father knew me well enough to know that if I had had more I think they would have had to lock me up in the looney bin! I love her to death, but whew!! She seriously has this Jeckle and Hyde thing going on. She can be so horrible during the day. Throwing fits, back-talking, and being sassy with her fancy pants attitude....then daddy walks in the door and she is the cutest thing you have ever seen! Talking so sweet, asking for things nicely, and being the pleasant beautiful girl I know she can be. I have decided this is part of my mother's curse. My mom has told me stories about how when I was little (an infant, smaller than Neely) I would CRY all day long while my dad was at work and he would come home and my mom would just be frazzled. She would look horrible and complain about my crying but when dad got home I would stop and just be a precious little baby. My mom said it used to make her crazy! LOL So I've decided that Neely is my payback for that.

JC is also doing well. He likes what he does. He doesn't like how much he is away from home but it is one of those jobs where you can't have both. Lately he has been really bothered with the language that gets used in the oil field a lot. It is REALLY bad. I really don't understand people who can't make their point without every other word being a curse word. They all know that JC is LDS, and when things get really bad he will make a comment or two that makes them stop and think about it, but it usually only lasts for a sentence or two, then they are right back to it. It wears on him because he feels like it is very degrading. Not just to him but to everyone else out there. I am thankful he tries so hard to do the right thing and be a good example. He got a calling at church on Sunday. He was really excited. His job makes it almost impossible for him to hold a calling, but the Bishop told him they had prayed and thought very hard to find one that would work with his schedule. I was very thankful for that. It was something that he needed. It is always nice to be needed by those around you and use your talents to help out in your Ward family.

I have been in my own zone for a while. I am just really tired of not feeling good, so I have made it my personal mission this year to get to feeling better. I'm sure all of you are wondering what I am talking about. My problems have been going on for so long that it has just become a way of life, so none of my new friends would even know that there was one. When I was in my early 20's my periods stopped. ( I decided to tell this story because I am pretty sure there are no men who read my blog. Hehe!) After going through fertility treatments to have Joshua I was diagnosed with PCOS. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I'm sure many of you have either heard of it or even know someone that has it. It means my ovaries are covered in little cysts. It is caused by my eggs coming to the surface of the ovary and then not popping out causing a cyst. I don't ovulate and I don't have periods because my cycle stops there each month. But because I don't ovulate, the hormones in my body just continue to get further and further out of whack. I had a miscarrage a little more than 2 years ago, after a long run of fertility treatments. When I lost that baby, I kind of gave up. Decided that it was just my fate to have this problem and that I would deal with it because there was nothing anyone could do. I had tried everything my Dr's had thought would help and had zero results, so I had come to the place where I had given up. Since moving to Arkansas my symptoms have worsened. I don't think it has anything to do with Arkansas, I think it has to do with me getting older. It has gotten so bad that it has given me a renewed ambition to get it fixed. Researchers have not figured out yet what causes PCOS. They know it is a hormone imbalance and have even linked it to insulin resistance in the body, but they don't know the cause...which makes treating it just a guessing game. I have tried all of the normal treatments with absolutly no results. I have recently been doing a lot of research and have found a newer treatment of using bioidentical hormones...mostly progesterone...to correct the imbalance. Armed with this information I went to see the doctor. Of coarse I had to have a new doctor because of the move. When it came time to discuss my treatment, it was clear to me that I know more about PCOS than she does!! Her answer was birth control again, even though I informed her that it has never worked for me, and I don't like taking it. The whole point the pill is to shut your ovaries down by tricking them into thinking you are pregnant. I want my ovaries to start working, so why would I take some pills that shut then down?!?! I didn't argue with her and left before I started crying right there in her office. When I got home a had a good cry and felt sorry for myself for a while. After I had stewed about it for a few days I decided to try and take control and tell her how I wanted to treat it. My plan has 3 steps. First, I have to change my diet. Sugar and processed foods are not my friends. I am going to completely change my family's diet in order for me to be successful. It can't be just a diet, it has to be a lifestyle change, so that is what we are dong. The glycemic index is a way to gauge the bad sugars in your diet so I will use that as a guide and change the way our family eats. It is just a healthier way of life for all of us, and I am bound and determined to do it. Second, I have to exercise. Neely quit gymnastics for a time, so her and I are gong to join Conway Regional. She needs the interaction with other kids in the nursery, and it gives me time away from her to exercise and do something for me. And third, I want to use a bioidentical progesterone cream to try and balance my hormones. So I called the office and told the nurse my plan. She said she would talk to the Dr and call me back. She called me back a few hours later and said the Dr didn't want to go the direction of the cream and that the birth control was the better choice. I couldn't believe it! I was so mad! I had told her that they have never worked to relieve my symptoms in the past...why would they work now? And besides, any doctor who know anything about PCOS knows that in order to increase the effectiveness of the pills you need to put other medications with it, and she had told me I didn't need those! So, this morning, I am venting on my blog, and looking for a new doctor that will listen to me and address my concerns. The use of bioidentical hormones is not mainstream medicine, so I have a feeling it's not going to be easy, so wish me luck! But I have the resolve to get it done because I am tired of not feeling good and now I'm mad!! I guess that Dr did do something right. :)

It has been nonstop here for almost an entire week! It started last Wednesday with my birthday. I turned 37 on the 14th. 37....3.....7....thirty-seven...hmmmmm...how is it that I can possibly be that old? There must be a mistake somewhere...I can't possibly be that old. I remember when my mom was this age and she was OOOOLD! Well, I am going to have to talk to someone about getting that corrected. Anyway, when I returned from the land of denial, Wednesday night my parents and my sister Lori flew in from Colorado. My sister's birthday was the 12th so it was a nice birthday treat for both of us.

We spent the day Thursday just hanging out and enjoying each others company. Our favorite thing to do when we are all together is play cards. Lori taught us another new game called Loser that was a bunch of fun. Playing cards with my family is always fun and always competitive. Competitive is the nice word....JC prefers the term "cut-throat". Let's just say, one must watch their back at all times and there are no freebies. Thursday evening my sister Ayrian and her family got here from Oklahoma. She just had baby Evan in October so we all go to snuggle on him all weekend.

Friday we drove north and went to Blanchard Springs Cave. It is the coolest thing...if you have never been, GO! We have been 3 times now. We went one day this summer when we went for a drive to look around Arkansas, then when my parents came earlier this year we took them, and then my parents told my sister's about it so they wanted to go on their trip here. No one is ever disappointed. In anticipation of more of our friends and families wanting to visit, we purchased season passes for 2009. I'm sure we will be there enough to pay for the pass.

Saturday Joshua's dad, Brandon, and his wife Christi got here. I have a very unique relationship with my ex and his new wife. I was sorry that I missed introductions in Relief Society on Sunday because I was going to introduce Christi as my new wife. It is our little joke. She calls me her ex-wife and I call her my new-wife. We have become very good friends over the years, which wasn't easy at first, but once hatchets were buried, we have become best buds. Some people think it is crazy and don't understand it, but I think the relationship I have with Brandon and Christi has a lot to do with the great kid we all have in Joshua. I know being there for him as a united group of parents has made it much easier on Joshua to have divorced parents.

Joshua had a basketball game in Rosebud on Saturday afternoon so we all packed up and went to that. Saturday night we went with some more friends to Gaucho's Grill. We had never been but our friends love it so we all went. Yes...a party of 22 to Gaucho's. It was a good time once we finally got served. Our reservation was for 7:00 but we didn't eat until almost 8:30 so we were starving!! My dad has no patience for stuff like that, so dinner was a little tense but once everyone started eating and getting full bellies things got much better.

Sunday was the real reason all of these people had converged and created an air mattress city in my house. Joshua had asked my dad to ordain him to the Aaronic Priesthood. It was truly touching that all of these people had put their lives on hold and had come to spend Joshua's special day with him. Joshua should never doubt that there are lots of people who love him and are excited about the choices he is making. I had a house full of people who loved him enough to travel many miles to be with him for his special event. I am so proud of him and the young man he has grown into. I can't wait to see him pass the sacrament at church next week. I want to take pictures....you think that would be OK? Just kidding...kinda. LOL.

Sunday afternoon Brandon and Christi and Ayrian and her family headed back to Oklahoma. The rest of us enjoyed one more evening together playing cards with our neighbors who are a hoot and a new found source of great friendship. Monday afternoon I took everyone to the airport. I love it when my family visits and hate to see them go. Dropping them off is always tough. Joshua and I lived with my sister Lori for a couple of years after my divorce so her and I have a very close relationship. I miss her very much.

So all in all it was a great weekend. Lots of good times, lots of cards, and especially a great event for Joshua. Thanks to all of you who made it so special for him. I love you and miss you already!
Neely at Gaucho's being a good girlMy mom and dad My sister Ayrian and her husband MichaelBrandon and Christi...and the dazed guy on the left is our friend Jeff

I know this is all I have been talking about but I am so excited! I promise to post something else this weekend! :)

Bodhi...and here is why. First of all here is how you say it. B--Long O like goat---D---IE. Like Brodie without the R. We decided on that first of all because JC and I both liked it. Second...it implies nothing about his personality, since we don't know it yet. And third...I can shorten it to Bo or Bo-Bo if I want. We tried to shorten Titan and only came up with something that sounded a lot like another word for breast...:) Anyway...that is his name and I love it. I should have some more video tomorrow. His eyes aren't open yet...the breeder said maybe next week. Thanks for all of your suggestions!

Here are some of my favorites...help me pick!
Baron
Roscoe
Samson
Titan
Bodhi
and just to be funny....Midget