Checking in

The day after I blogged about Annabelle not wanting to hold Nate she asked her Dad after lunch to hold him. I really should say she demanded it. "Annabelle wants to hold Nate", said at the top of her lungs as he was wiping her face. (talking about herself in the third person cracks me up)

I was in the kitchen cleaning up and choose to keep hidden until it actually happened. I thought it meant something when she asked Tom instead of me, since I had been asking her every day only to be met with a firm "No" as an answer.

So he got them set up and of course I came swooping in like a Paparazzi to catch the moment before it was gone. In less than 2 minutes it was gone, she was over it. But those 2 minutes broke my heart, my beautiful children, one smiling, one burping. Life is good.

She has not brought it up again, I have chosen not to either. I have learned Annabelle does things on Annabelle time. I can be patient, she will ask again.

This was a very good start.

Before I go forward I want to go back, back to the day Nate was born, I want to share the story of how Annabelle & Nate began. Going forward, hopefully the stories will show their progression of love & acceptance. As you will see, the first meeting was wrought with accusation and finger pointing, not a good way to start a lifelong relationship.

I mentioned a few months ago I was concerned about Annabelle and the fact that she just didn’t care for babies. No interest in playing with others dolls, none at all in live babies. When we visited my cousin and her newborn all Annabelle walked away with after a 2 hour visit was “He cries”, which he did for all of 2 minutes. The rest of the time he was perfectly pleasant and sweet as only a 1 week old can be. So I bought her a doll, which she really took to. I guess having her own made it loveable. Her doll collection expanded when I came across my old Cabbage Patch (Yes, it was an original for the first year they were made when they were all the craze. Yes, I am old) and Aunt Stacie donated her 2 Cabbage Patches (she is old too). Annabelle was liking dolls, we were reading lots of books about new babies, becoming a big sister, she was talking to brother every day and giving my belly kisses, I thought we were really ready for this.

The day Nate was born also happened to be the day my sister, Karen, had an outpatient procedure scheduled at the same hospital. She was to go under at 9:30am 1 floor up from me. Nate was born at 12:37am, I sent Tom home about 4 am to get a few hours rest as he had to get up with Annabelle as my Mom, Grace, had planned to be at the hospital with my sister. Grace stopped in to see me, then upstairs to see Karen. Once Karen was under she came back down to my room to hang out with us while waiting for the results. Grace was holding Nate in the chair when Tom & Annabelle walked in about 10am. Tom had told her all about how Brother was finally here and they were going to visit both of us. I am resting in my bed, Grace is sitting in the chair with Nathaniel, the door swings open, Annabelle comes barreling in right over to Nate (it was as if she knew where he was, I didn’t even see her look around) she marches right up to him, points right at him and announces “He cries!”, and turns around and walks away.

We were all a little dumbfounded, he wasn’t crying but in her mind that was all he was going to do. She just stood there with her back to him. We got her coat & hat off. I gave her a million hugs and kisses then we tried to introduce her to her Brother once again. I held him on the bed and she crawled up. She would sit with me but would barely look at him. Finally once, I got her to touch his head, but even that was asking a lot. Then she discovered the buttons on my bed. I was convinced she was going to fold us in half while turning on the TV simultaneously calling the nurse. Their visit was short lived. A hospital room was not a place for a 2 year old to hang out, too many things to get into.

Two weeks later I can say it is getting better. She still has not held him, even though I ask her every day. Yesterday she did sit on the couch with him and even give him a kiss, but that was only because my friend Steph was here and she had a camera. Annabelle will do anything for the spotlight. She is very concerned about him. When he does cry she runs to me and says “What is the matter of the Nate?” followed by “Mum Mum give Nate a hug”. She wants me to shut him up. If he cries too long, she cries too. At least I know she has empathy, she has always been the sensitive type. She wants to feed him like the toddlers do in the book with a bottle. As we are still establishing nursing it will be another 2 weeks until I introduce a bottle, but as soon as I do she is the first one to get one. Hopefully that will go a long way in their bonding process.

I guess at this point I can say she has a strong like for him. She likes to give him Eskimo kisses; she likes to pat his head. However she is not happy about him when he is in his swing and she can’t use it for her dolls. She does not like that he spit up a bit on her ladybug changing table cover. The one spark I see is she does give him a sticker every day from her “nap reward” sheet, so maybe there is hope for them yet.

Nate had a blood test again yesterday and his billi rueben count is down to 11, so off is the blanket. We had a wonderful night sleep (well as wonderful nights sleep as you can get with a 1 week old). Tomorrow we will go for another blood test to assure his numbers have not gone back up but for now we are out of the woods. He is still an eating/pooping machine so we have no reason to think the numbers will not stay stable.

We will now resume our regular blogging, I will soon post pictures of Nate & Annabelle and let you know what we have been up to.

We went on Monday for a blood draw and Nate's numbers are still high, not high enough for hospitalization but high enough to stay on the blanket. I just have to thank the heavens for my blessings.

1. My Mom. Without her I don't know what I would do. Keeping a 2 year old entertained, feed, changed all the while holding a neon light on a newborn, plus trying to eat, shower yourself takes everything you have all day long. If not for Grace, I would have cried by now. I just know it.

2. Niece Jenny. She came over today for 4 hours and just played with Annabelle. It was great for Annabelle to have solid 1 on 1 attention, she was just glowing. And she took a 2 hour nap when Jen left. Thank goodness for all of us.

3. My king size bed. When Tom talked me into this monster I thought it was way too big, now with having to hold a newborn ( we have this whole pillow thing set up so he is not right on the bed but elevated and I can plug him in right behind the bed) I can still get some rest. Not great rest, but rest none the less.

So we go to the doctor again tomorrow. Say a prayer to the East for us that we are out of the woods and Brother can resume normal baby activities.

Yes, we spend all our days making up nicknames for Nate wrapped in his blue light Wellby blanket. He is jaundice and must be kept wrapped as much as possible. Since the blanket construction does not allow you to wrap him and set him down (it must be held on), we are all taking turns holding him, of course 24/7 cuddling is right up his alley and truthfully mine too.

Other than the slight jaundice he is doing great, back up to birth weight after only a few days, eating like a champ, peeing, you know, all things baby. We see the doctor again on Monday to determine if we need to continue with the blanket usage. By the way, I love my pediatrician, she called this morning to ask how he was doing, how we both slept last night and telling me what to look out for (lack of interest in food and no urine output – neither of which we have thank goodness) But seriously, a doctor calling you on a Saturday just to check on your night? Unheard of. Doctor telling you to call her all weekend if any of those symptoms occurred? Crazy. I love it, I am so glad we made the switch from our mediocre docs a few months ago, everyone deserves awesome when it comes to healthcare.

Life here is good. Things feel complete. Not that I ever felt anything was missing, but now that Nate is here there is a sense of calm, of wholeness I have never known.

Introducing Nathaniel Thomas - aka: Nate. Formerly Brother, although he still gets that sometimes. Kind of like when Puff Daddy and Prince did the whole name change thing, it takes awhile for the new one to stick.

He arrived into this world 1st thing January 5th, 12:37am at a whopping 9 pounds 6 oz. He was 21 1/2 inches long. His nickname over in Labor & Delivery was "the toddler". I am not going to get into the whole birth story; I will just say it was different than Annabelle. Not worse, just different in a way that completely humbles me as a human being and a woman. The way this stuff works is beyond all comprehension.

He is here, he is beautiful and we are adjusting to life with a newborn and two children.

More pictures to follow, right now, I need to eat while they both sleep!

Brother is in no hurry to present himself to the world, judging from the stretching feelings I had last night & today (similar to 1st trimester round ligament stretching pain), he is adding on and planning to stay awhile.

Maybe he is scared of his sister? She keeps putting her mouth right by my stomach with her little hands on either side saying things like

"Come out and sit in the Bumbo Brother"
"Come out and drink milk Brother"

my personal favorite

" I have a sticker for you Brother" then slapping a sticker on my belly.

Things that did make me happy today.

• Annabelle took a 2 hour nap
• During such nap I hooked up my printer/photo printer/scanner
• Opened my new label maker and will hook up this evening before bed, no one will ever receive a hand written envelope again. This excites me to no end.
• I opened and plugged in my new adding machine.

Yes, this is the stuff I am made of, organizing my frustration away.