Now, Wk 22: The little flutterings have grown into confident rolls and kicks. There’s no denying of our little one’s (and my tummy’s) exponential growth
Jeremiah, we love every moment of being able to see you on the ultrasound.
This is for you to know how much you mean to us.
In 2.5 yrs of our marriage we have managed to skip past the “when are your two having kids?” without a hitch, reason(S): I’m still doing my phd, running my races, hubby is doing his MBA, involved in ministry and well ,hubby n I are enjoying too much of our couplehood. Shelling out our pay in turkey backpacking, touring Israel and Jordan, resorts in Phuket, Phiphi island, diving in Cebu, cruise, dining in quaint Robertson quay restaurants, watching classic DVDs past 12mn. Hubby n I thought perhaps just perhaps we might be an itsy bit ready to be parents and our little nest will be much livelier with a little one. We asked&prayed,if He thinks that we are ready or about ready (you are never ready until you are there with a baby bawling from soiled nappies/ hunger/just want your company) He will provide.
In Phuket’s patong beach, was suffering from hot feverish flushes, extremely tired, extremely sore breasts so sensitive even to the touch, goggle-ed these signs and the first 20 hits are pregnancy symptoms. But no morning sickness, my period was still as adhoc as it normally is. Perhaps it just hormonal imbalance, too many maitai’s and way too much sun and runs. That week the normal lightweight period normally does nothing to hinder my 2hr runs, and back-to-back runs and spinning classes went amok, alarmingly heavy, ache-y, and o-so-feverish and tired…According to diagnosing myself (not highly recommended) Turns out I had a so-called chemical pregnancy.In simple English: “miscarriage before the embryo has a chance to implant in the uterus where it can grow and develop. It’s said that it occurs in 50-60% 1st time pregnancies, and most women don’t even know that they were pregnant at that time” Still the statistics didn’t quite comfort me and thought perhaps something was wrong with this body.
Off we went on our church camp, kelong trip, downed a couple of strong bourbon cokes, caught a few pathetic ikan billis, came back awfully relaxingly tired, back to the 8.30-7 grind, period was late, as usual.
Pregnancy test 3rd jul: NEGATIVE
Completed a spinning class with the feeling of bricks in my legs and breathing as hard as a uphill 10k sprint run, something’s not right. Made sure I peed on the strip for 5secs, looked squarely at the (-), slowly but surely misting over was a blue little cross.
Pregnancy test 7th Jul: POSITIVE
“DEARRRRRrrrr!”I shouted from the toilet, echoing for all the neighbours to hear
“Yarrr??”faintly a reply from the man busily writing off cheques for our house bills, not a sound of making an effort to move from his chairman seat.
Barely had the ability to balance holding the darn stick, wipe off the excess pee, pull up my shorts with one arm, control my trembling hand, ran to the study (ok our house is not that big, just a couple of steps)
“I’m pregnant” Breathlessly thrusting the peed-on-stick with the clear little blue cross between his face and the bills.
Eyes popped wide ”Really?Are you sure?”
“The instruction says 99.9% positive what…so should be?”
“Test again!...Again! ” says he, a Cheshire cat grin
“But but I just peed all my pee out, need time to generate pee”
“ok drink more water and try again” HUGE Bear Hug embrace with peed-on stick still in my hand
Day after: A floating balloon, going back to work with this huge secret, never the same again, knowing a little life is in me. So, God heard and He answered. Let the melodramatic hubby break the news. I’m perpetually smiling
9th jul 2009: Gynaecologist confirmed, congratulated, and cautioned ~40-60% pregnancies end in miscarriage in the 1st 3 mths due to chromosomal abnormalities so it’s partly normal. Doc encouraged regular exercise BUT no running. No running!!! Horror! Calamity! Impossible! NEVER!!!
Running’s my life, and besides I’ve been running all blissfully well (and unaware of the little lifeform in me) the last 2 weeks. I’ll go bersek if I stop running!
And then the thoughts of my mom’s multiple miscarriages creeped in and hunted me…perhaps just perhaps I should err on the side of caution. Need faith!No morning sickness, just dizzy from anemia and low bp.
24th Jul 2009: We heard our little one’s heartbeat, firm and quick, sounded like one of those toy choo-choo trains. Hubby and I grasped hands tightly, the first sounds of our little one. Praying constantly for Him to watch over our little one as he grows. No morning sickness still! Just hate fishy, oily, durian and smelly people in peak-hour train rides.
Tummy still not visible, can’t believe all my hardwork getting my washboard abs just slipping away as the little one grows.
First thing the vain me got was Clarin’s stretchmark cream and tonic oil. I still want to wear my two piece swimwear!
18th Sept 2009: Our little one gave a distinctive wave. Hello world!
and 2 weeks later, slight flutterings in my tummy, our little one’s doing the mambo in there, perhaps I should play Belinda Carlisle and Bananarama tunes soon.
XX
Slight scare, bleeding at work. Thoughts of losing our little one just as I made it past the 3-month critical timepoint . Doc gave the all clear, bleeding was due to hemaerroids, constipation, gave us all a terrible fright.
XX
24th Oct 2009: Scanning and searching, Doc finally found what he needed to see. Our son’s ‘machine gun’.
If you ask us now if we’re ready, well, as ready as can be
