So maybe I drove in the carpool lane today....
....when I was by myself in the car.
Whoops.
:-)
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
So You're Probably Thinking I'm Dead...
Well, I'm not.
I'm back to provide you with ample opportunities to
waste. your. time.
Isn't that awesome??!!
Where else will someone offer to do that for you?
And so cheerfully too!
You're welcome, Time-Wasters.
Hey guess what?
I have a job!
It's messy and sweaty, and sometimes people are rude.
My feet hurt, my legs hurt, and my back hurts a bit too.
But.....beggars can't be choosers.
Plus also, the pay is not too shabby.
Especially for a silly, all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant.
So I will suck it up.
However.
This brings me to the first ever edition of
Chester the Best-er's Bargain or Bust!!
Push PLAY. Seriously.
(and confetti)
Yesterday, I had to get some white, collared shirts for my work uniform. I'm thinking, "Blast, I don't have any money yet, how am I supposed to buy two shirts that look nice enough, without stabbing my wallet in the heart with a dagger?" Now I suppose you are thinking, "Hey doofy, you could always go to the thrift store and buy one." I'm all for secondhand in most cases, but here's why I say no to that bargain: If they're men's, then they're huge, and if they're women's, they seem too fancy-ish, and in both cases, they always seem to have questionable stains.
But then I had a brilliant idea!! I remembered once that I bought a t-shirt at some touristy spot in this country, but I hadn't wanted to pay the adult price, so I bought the biggest one in the kids' sizes. Fit like a dream. (You know, the good kind of dream. Like where you're flying. Not the crappy, scary dreams. Or the ones where your teeth fall out.) So I said to myself, "Self. Why on earth would that NOT work in this situation?"
So I took myself to the store, headed over to the Little Boys' section, and bought TWO white, collared shirts in the extra-large size.
So I took myself to the store, headed over to the Little Boys' section, and bought TWO white, collared shirts in the extra-large size.
Grand Total: $17.10
Less than what I would've paid for ONE new women's shirt.
I know, right?!!
Niiiiice.
And yes. They fit perfectly.
Disclaimer: This tip is really only useful for people who are about 5'3" or shorter, and between a size 6 and 4. Because if you're taller, then the shirt will be too short, and if you're above a size 6-ish, then you'll probably have to buy regular sizes at regular prices. Also, you should be a girl. Sorry taller people and/or boys, I can't help you. Learn to shrink and turn female, and then maybe we can talk. Haha.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
I Am Happy to Tell You...
That the snow has completely melted away!!
I get to enjoy a clear, sunny day
that will get as warm as
70 degrees!
Hallelujah!!
Also.
Please tell my blog Happy Belated Birthday.
She turned 2 years old on May 9,
and I forgot.
Until today.
(image found via le Google Images)
Happy Birthday, Little Blog o' Mine!!
You've brought me such fun times,
not to mention fun people. :-)
Monday, May 24, 2010
It is May 24th...
MAY 24TH
and this,
THIS
and
THIS
is what I wake up to.
!!!!!!!!
Utah.
How could you DO this to me?!!!
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Sometimes, I Just Can't Focus...
Sometimes is an understatement. More often than not, I can't focus.
Let's just put it this way:
I have the attention span of a much younger human being.
Like today, for instance, instead of paying attention in church, I was thinking of song names that I would use if I wrote Harry Potter: The Musical. And then I was thinking of real songs from musicals that would work in Harry Potter: The Musical.
(That's a post for another day. Today, I'm focusing on how I'm incapable of focusing.)
Speaking of Harry Potter, did you know Rick is going to the Harry Potter theme park this summer? I'm so jealous. Pleeeease take me with you!!
I took a class this last week. It was a film class. Fifteen weeks condensed into one. I now have a beautiful list of movies that I need to watch, and I need to look into getting a Netflix account. Delicious-smelling boy swears by it. I talked to him for two and half hours on FB on Friday night, but no matter how close I got to the screen, I couldn't inhale his yumminess over the Internet.
But we watched so many clips. Soooo many!! And after watching movie clips and discussing technique and ideology from 8 in the morning until 5 in the afternoon.... well, little me got bored. I doodled. I doodled a lot.
Did you know that Post-It notes are awesome? For reals! You can do so much with them. I wrote notes on them and passed them around. I made a label decorated with flowers and his name for a buddy's coffee mug. Poor Jeff! I think his manliness was insulted. He wouldn't let me see if Post-It notes would stick to his head. (He shaves his head, you see.) If you shave your head, will you please tell me if Post-It notes stick to your scalp? I need to know.
But we watched so many clips. Soooo many!! And after watching movie clips and discussing technique and ideology from 8 in the morning until 5 in the afternoon.... well, little me got bored. I doodled. I doodled a lot.
Did you know that Post-It notes are awesome? For reals! You can do so much with them. I wrote notes on them and passed them around. I made a label decorated with flowers and his name for a buddy's coffee mug. Poor Jeff! I think his manliness was insulted. He wouldn't let me see if Post-It notes would stick to his head. (He shaves his head, you see.) If you shave your head, will you please tell me if Post-It notes stick to your scalp? I need to know.
I made a Post-It note sculpture. I made different shapes and tried to stack them as high as I could without the sculpture falling down. My crowning achievement was a Post-It note smiley-face that I designed and then stuck on the wall during the Rocky IV montage.
Just imagine that the lights are turned off, and Rocky is training by chopping down trees and tromping through snow dragging a sleigh or a cart or something, and he and the Russian dude are all gross and sweaty, and caring about muscles and winning, and stupid things like that,
and then the lights are turned on to reveal THIS on the back wall,
I mean, please,
How could that not make you happy?
I wonder what Professor M. thought of that.
Friday, May 21, 2010
And Blah.... Blah, Blah.
I wrote a post.
But I hated it.
So I deleted it.
I have nothing to say.
Other than I'm really glad that Kayce invited me for dinner.
And that we went to get ice-cream.
Also, that some people have to work and therefore are on Facebook chat.
Because if weren't for that,
Tonight would be the most boring Friday of my life.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Wanna Know a Secret?
Actually, it is no secret!
I shall shout it from the rooftops!
Well. We can pretend I did.
I don't particularly like ladders (read "hate"),
and there is no way these short little legs of mine can
get up to a rooftop without a ladder.
You, dear Groupies,
have made me fall in love with you!
No joke. I just adore you all.
Thank you for being so
encouraging,
uplifting,
optimistic,
wise,
kind,
sympathetic,
and
loving.
I tried to send each of you a personal email or thank you on your blog.
Sorry that it took me so long! I hope they all reached you.
It was indeed a yucky day when I wrote that self-pitying, despairing rant.
But no more!
(not for a long time anyway)
I shall rise to the challenge of being the
HAPPY ME
that I usually am,
and I look forward to all that life has to give me.
Because the good things I've received
have, do, and will
FAR outweigh the things that make me grumpy.
Thank you for reminding me of that!
PS. I probably won't be blogging too much this week. I've got a nine-hour class every day this week, but I had to tell you thank you today for lifting my spirits beyond what I could have believed possible. I will try and come back with some funny stories.
Welcome
NEW READERS!!
There are 41 more of you since last I acknowledged you at 100.
I hope you find at least as much enjoyment
in reading this li'l blog of mine
as I do in writing it!
Friday, May 14, 2010
Dear Somebody...
It's 11:04 at night as I start to write this.
I feel like I'm suffering a relapse. I broke out of my shell last spring. I was outgoing, cheerful, spunky, brave... and while I kind of still am, it's only a shadow of what it used to be. Not sure if it's because of what happened last semester, but I'm cautious again. I'm reserved, slightly withdrawn. I'm scared of what people might do to me, because I'm not the type to fight and defend myself, because confrontation terrifies me. And it takes me a long time to get over being hurt. I don't like to show it, so I hold it all inside.
As a result, I'm burned out, I'm bored, I'm lonely, and I feel like I'm not good enough. It doesn't matter what, I just don't feel good enough. I'm not good at anything. I'm the worst athlete in the world. I'm not a musician. I'm no artist. I'm not a gung-ho, proactive, I-can-get-what-I-want-in-this-world kind of person. I'm not a good student. I'm not even a good English major. I am what I like to call, "blah at everything."
Yesterday, I told at least five different people--people who seem to know where they're going, who have plans in mind, who get good grades without really trying--I told them that...
I'm discouraged.
I feel like I'm suffering a relapse. I broke out of my shell last spring. I was outgoing, cheerful, spunky, brave... and while I kind of still am, it's only a shadow of what it used to be. Not sure if it's because of what happened last semester, but I'm cautious again. I'm reserved, slightly withdrawn. I'm scared of what people might do to me, because I'm not the type to fight and defend myself, because confrontation terrifies me. And it takes me a long time to get over being hurt. I don't like to show it, so I hold it all inside.
As a result, I'm burned out, I'm bored, I'm lonely, and I feel like I'm not good enough. It doesn't matter what, I just don't feel good enough. I'm not good at anything. I'm the worst athlete in the world. I'm not a musician. I'm no artist. I'm not a gung-ho, proactive, I-can-get-what-I-want-in-this-world kind of person. I'm not a good student. I'm not even a good English major. I am what I like to call, "blah at everything."
Yesterday, I told at least five different people--people who seem to know where they're going, who have plans in mind, who get good grades without really trying--I told them that...
I want to color on sidewalks and make paper chains,
I want to bake cupcakes and cuddle kittens,
Braid people's hair and give out shoulder massages,
I want to--
(Excuse me, it's 11:11 and I need to make a wish.)
I'm back.
Where was I? Oh yes.
I want to sit on sunny benches and just watch people.
I want to dance on a grassy meadow.
Listen to music and take naps in the sunshine.
(They didn't understand.)
I know that they were all thinking, "Silly girl, there's no career in that."
I don't even really want a career!
But how will I support myself if I don't get one?
You can't be a globe-trotting old maid if you don't have money, you know.
I'm also tired of always, always living paycheck to paycheck.
(I don't get much financial support from parents, see.
Not that they wouldn't if they could,
there just has never been enough. Never.)
So I need a career.
But I. Don't. Want. One.
I'm ambition-less.
Well, I wouldn't say that exactly.
Just ambition-less in every area that matters to everybody else.
Maybe I am just a silly girl.
What am I going to do? I don't know how to be any different.
(Cry, I think. That sounds like a good idea.)
It's 11:41.
Bye.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Welcome to My Humble Abode...
Welcome to the exclusive,
somewhat private, tour of
Chester the Best-er's
hidey-hole of a habitat
when she is not at school!!!
Please...
Take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints. But don't leave footprints either, cos that will make the leader of the pack's mate mad.
Do not touch anything, and do not feed the wildlife, as they are perfectly capable of preparing their own meals and feeding themselves. I must admit that you may not see them at all, due to the fact that they are still educating their minds. Haha, teenaged suckers!!
This is my tree.
There are three on the very corner where I live.
(We have more in the backyard, of course.)
But this is only one of them:
You are probably thinking, "Oh my, what an exotic piece of shrubbery!"
In fact...
It is a crab apple tree that the pack leader pruned (gnawed?) to look like a bonsai.
He is talented that way.
Here is what it looks like up close:
Cool, eh? Who knew it could be so luscious in a desert?
Step out onto the front porch!
On your left, you have the mail slot:
Please donate money and tokens of your affection.
(Just kidding. You can leave a comment.)
This is what it looks like right outside the front door:
Oh my! What is that?
A Red-Hoodied gazelle, perhaps?
For your information,
Gazelle: noun.
"a small slender antelope that typically has curved horns,
and a yellowish-brown coat
with white underparts,
found in open country in Africa and Asia."
Let us evaluate.
Small? 5'2". Check.
Slender? Well. Trying to be. Looks like it gained a few pounds of cookie dough.
Curved horns? Is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
aka Mormon. Check! ;-)
Yellowish-brown coat? Has golden-y skin, which turns very brown in summer. Check!
White underparts? That is probably none of your business.
Africa or Asia? Taiwan is definitely in Asia. Check!!
Next, if you'll turn back the way we came,
we shall enter the natural habitat of this red-hoodied beast.
Or... Me.
Here we have a Chinese lantern
hanging from the living room ceiling:
Why it is there, I really have no idea.
How the leader of the pack likes to wake up his children:
Obviously it desperately needs a dusting!
I bet not one of you knew what the inside of a chimney looks like!!
Now you do.
If you will follow me,
I will lead you to the watering hole:
One of the rare delicacies upon which the wildlife feeds:
The food preparation tools for PB&J sandwiches:
It cuts off the crust and makes them into dinosaurs!!!
Down the hall and to your left,
we have the washing area of the habitat:
The beautifying supplies of the Red-Hoodied Gazelle
How the Red-Hoodied Gazelle determines if
the cookie dough has come off her waist.
We have come at last to the personal nest of the RHG!
Here is what she burrows in at night:
If you were wondering what the RHG smells like...
Well, she smells like that:
And accessorizes with these:
Also. I think her hooves need some grooming:
But wait!
What does a baby RHG look like?
For your information,
RHGs start out small,
and do not change much over the course of a lifetime.
On a bad day,
she may look like this:
But on most days, you will see her prancing around like so:
If you look closely,
you will see that the RHG threw a shoe.
Thank you for joining me on a tour of
Chester the Best-er's Natural Habitat.
I hope you enjoyed yourself.
Please...
go back to the infinitely more useful things
you need to be doing.
She made that dress herself, you know.
Cos she can't always go around in a red hoodie.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
I'm FREEEEEEEEEEE!!!
My paper on patriarchy in King Lear
is alllllllll done!
I feel like this!!!
(my backyard)
I'm sure you're all wondering why the heck
I wasn't done with my homework on Friday.
First, I would like to tell Kayce that all you need to do to get an extension on your final paper and take-home final exam is to be completely goofy and adorable (hah!) for a whole semester and write funny comments on your quizzes.
Second, if someone hacked into your iTunes account and made $275.75 worth of unauthorized purchases, and you were in tears and distraught because you had to pay summer tuition the next day, and you spent hours on the phone and running to the bank, and calling your dad and crying some more, and then you knew you had to clean and pack because you had to move out the next day... well, if you email your professor about it all in abbreviated, more academically appropriate terms... that works too.
Now.
Amy requested a nickname from me,
and I shall be happy to oblige.
I must say that it was a difficult task,
so if you don't like it...
Well, blame your mom,
cos I sure didn't name you!!
I wanted to call you Dame Amy.
Then I wanted to call you Amers.
So I combined them.
From this point forward,
I shall call you....
Damers!!!
hahahaha
Damers has an awesome-sauce blog called
It's a story blog from the point of view of a young high-school girl named Kadence.
Follow her fantastically melodramatic footsteps as she stalks the love of her life, Brent Vanderwalker, and tells all about it in letters written just for Elizabeth Bennet.
Read it!
PS. I know I shouldn't have taken a weapon to the children's section, much less the library, but Domesticated-Bliss hit it right on the nose!! I don't like to bite into apples, so they have to be cut, but you can't pre-cut them, cos they'll turn brown. So of course I had to bring the knife. Plus it was a birthday present. Plus also it was PURPLE!!!
Coming tomorrow: a tour of where I live!
I'll Be Back Soon...
In the meantime....
Go read this right now!!
{HERE}
It's quite possibly the most delightful thing I've read in a while.
That could be because I wrote about King Lear
for about a gazillion hours yesterday.
But it's really because it's
the most delightful thing
I've read in a while.
(And then leave Steven an awesome compliment.)
Monday, May 10, 2010
She's a Lawbreaker!!
So it turns out that I had to ask for an extension
on my final paper and take-home exam.
The reason for needing an extension will be a story for another day.
That means I've been doing homework all day
in O-town's public library.
After everybody else has been done for two days.
And I'm still not done. Maybe cos I fell asleep. Maybe.
Sadface.
I may or may not have snuck
FOOD and a WEAPON
into the children's section:
There is also a string cheese, but you can't see it.
I may get caught, tied, and hauled away
on one of the reshelving carts
to the basement below the basement
from whence no library patron has ever returned
BUT....
Pardon me,
what is cooler than a purple knife?
Sunday, May 9, 2010
I May Not Have the Most...
I don't have a car, paying for school is always a miracle,
I'm scared I won't be able to find a summer job,
etc, etc, etc...
But I have a mom.
So I'm pretty much one of the luckiest people around.
Happy Mother's Day, Mom!
I love you.
And to all you other mothers as well.
You are equally important
in making this world
the thing of beauty that it truly is.
Thank you!
Thursday, May 6, 2010
I KNOW It's 6:45 in the AM....
It's called cramming, people.
Because I'm no good at studying.
Especially when it's a final for Professor M.
Simply impossible.
But....
After today... I have a small take-home final and one last paper.
And then I'm done, done, done!!!
This next picture is dedicated to Rick (and our mutual use of Harry Potter nicknames--although my last use was merely to refer to a person I don't want to name--not an evil ex--cos I fear this boy finding out that I think he smells like heaven in a t-shirt and Vans):
found via {this blog}
(Speaking of another He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named aka Mr. Ex, I had to endure mine being at my apt for an hour and a half on Tuesday, while I was ugly and sniffly, cos he was helping my roommate move out. I forgot how obnoxious he can be. Very pleased with this realization. Rick, can I call him Voldemort too? Haha.)
I just thought of something!!
Rickers!!
(I just made that up--I hope you don't mind. Pretty sure I nicknamed Emmy "Emmles."
I will eventually get around to nicknaming all of you. It's what I do.)
Rickers, YOU should make a dessert
such as a cheese Danish, perhaps
with caramel
and cinnamon
and apple
and icing
(this all sounds good to me--I don't know if it actually is)
basically everything BAD that will KILL YOU
and name it....
Avada Kedavra
I know. You can thank me later. Hah
Plus also, a big thank you to Steven, who has a cat named Penelope (who has a gay boyfriend cat named Delmar), who just had cuuuuute kittens, who emailed me a picture of some flowers from his pasture. Steven emailed the picture, not the kittens. Sorry, I'm a bad English major with unclear referents.
Sooo pretty!!
His pasture, people.
How often can one be so cool as to be able to call a pasture his own?
I once had a potted plant. It died.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
You've Got Mail!!
(From me!)
I know, okay? I said I wasn't going to post.
I know, okay? I said I wasn't going to post.
But I couldn't help myself.
Shhhhh... Don't tell!
I've been sooooo bored! I've had a narrrsty cold the past two days, and haven't been able to do much of anything besides sleep (Thanks Steve!) and watch You've Got Mail which is the best movie ever. Ever. I felt just like Meg Ryan at the end, when she has her icky cold and her tissues are lying all over the place. Reminded me of my bed. And my couch. And the pockets of my hoodie.
And then I thought to myself, "Self, where is your Tom Hanks? Where is your Mr. Chester? To bring you daisies, and make you tea, and offer to put honey it, but says it like he's calling you 'honey'? Or how about to tuck you into bed and tell you that spending too much time on the internet is probably dangerous, because your attachment to Facebook and people's comments on your blog is waaaay too powerful?"
So Mr. Chester. If you don't have an aversion to daisies, tea and honey, and tucking me into bed... you could, you know, call me.
No texting though. Nuh-uh. Nope.
Also, if you could smell delicious like Boy-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named from class, that would be much appreciated. Mmmmmm.... Except I'm all stuffy. I can't smell a thing!
(Now, I'm really off to write my paper.)
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Sometimes, I Just Wanna Chat...
You know?
I just want to sit down and talk to you, sorta like we're in the same room, because you dropped by my apartment and knocked on the door, and I called out, "Come in!" because I happened to be baking banana muffins, and so I gave you some. And we just talked about what you're doing, and what I'm doing, and what our summer plans are, and hey, are you going dancing on Wednesday night?
The kind of talk where we just think about what we've learned,
cos even though life hasn't been too long for us,
we've still learned a ton.
That kind of talk.
You know, cos I like you and stuff.
Cos I do, Groupies, I like you a lot.
I feel contemplative today. I think maybe it's because everything has changed this year. Finals this week. Best friends moving out and getting married. Getting my heart broken. Feeling it heal again. Deciding not to be a teacher and to change my major. Realizing I have only one semester left of school, and that in December, I'll have a Bachelor's Degree in Literary Studies. A degree! Belonging to me! Noticing that I don't have a plan for what happens after graduation. Also, I have a really sore throat, and I'm eating chicken noodle soup, and I just feel all pensive when I'm sicky and eating soup.
Want to see a picture of me when I was little?
(I'm much cuter in other pictures, but I can't seem to find those)
This is what I look like now, fifteen years later at the ripe old age of 22:
(birthday dinner at Firehouse Pizza)
Sometimes I feel as though I still only know as much as the 7-year-old me did.
Do you ever get that feeling?
It used to be, and still is, because I feel like people are so much smarter than I am.
Now, more often than not, it's because people my age are getting
careers,
marriages,
babies,
houses,
grown-up lives,
while I still have never been kissed.
There's a confession for ya.
I've really enjoyed this blog of mine the last couple weeks or so. May I tell you why? It's because when I ask you questions, you answer them, no matter how silly they seem to be. And when you do, I learn something. I've so enjoyed reading the comments that you leave. No matter what time of day it is, I always close my laptop with a smile on my face and I have you to thank for it.
I feel like talking about some of the fun comments you've left. But before I do, I just want to say that I've loved reading your blogs, those of you who comment. I hope I've returned the favor. I love reading about your lives, the funny things you see, the people who make you smile, and hard things that you somehow find the strength to get through. It makes me appreciate my life, the funny things I see, the people who make me smile, and the strength that I find to help me through the rough patches.
Last week, I asked you guys (boys), what made you melt, what you found attractive. It's funny, because even though we (boys and girls) talk about how we are so different, this let me know that we are more alike than we think. Everything you find attractive in a girl, I'm attracted to in a guy.
Goofy and smart. Absolutely. I love to laugh. I also need a boy who likes to read books and talk about them.
Childlike. The word was originally "childish," but I'd venture to say that a better word would be childlike. Childish means petty, selfish, and sometimes mean. Childlike means you find joy in imagination, living in the moment, and seeing the world for its possibilities and not its faults.
Spontaneous, caring, and thoughtful. What's better than someone telling you he/she missed you just because?
Being gracious. I don't care about how society has evolved. Men and women should behave as gentlemen and as ladies. Kindness and gratitude will never be out of style.
I learned I wasn't the only one who loved the Power Rangers. Yes, Stephanie, the Power Rangers were for children, but I was a child, so therefore it was perfectly fine. And since we have learned that it is okay to be childlike, then it was fine for me to watch it last Saturday. Haha. And Amy, how could it be that it was before your time? You can't be younger than I am, right?
I also learned I am not the only one who gets Insta-Crushes on people. And Steven, I think he was smiling at the piano. He definitely did not notice me. Haha.
I learned that Rick and Roxie (and possibly Becky) have never gone ice-skating!!! Darlings, how have you lived? Rick, please go find yourself an adorable date and go ice-skating. You can lure her with your delicious baked goods. Promise her a cookie afterwards. Roxie and Becky, find attractive men to take you. If possible, go to an outdoor rink next winter. It's so much fun!
I learned that there is always
something to laugh about.
Always.
The sooner we can all realize that,
the better and happier this world will be!
So.
For many of you this is finals week.
I've got two finals and two papers to write.
I won't be posting at all for a bit.
But I wanted to tell you good luck!
Even if you may not end up passing everything,
it's not the end of the world.
I would know. Haha.
So keep smiling no matter what.
And if everyone around just seems not to care,
You can be sure there's at least one person
who likes you.
Because I do like you, Groupies, I do!
Have a WONDERFUL week!
Saturday, May 1, 2010
I'm Supposed to Be Writing a Paper...
cos I'm at the library,
and that's what you're supposed to do.
But I don't wanna!
So I'll tell you another funny story:
On Tuesday, Ted and I went to the grocery store after work to pick up some treats for the kids for the last day of mentoring. When I got to work on Thursday, we went to go pop the popcorn in the school kitchen, and he said,
"I hadn't gone to the store with anybody but my wife for ages, so when you and I went to buy the popcorn, I almost reached out and held your hand when we got out of the car. Good thing I caught myself, because that would've been sooooo awkward!"
I couldn't stop laughing.
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