A Fisher out of Water

Bulldog face- Penny has been pulling a bulldog face lately, a wide-eyed grimace with a strong, open-mouthed underbite. It's pretty hilarious. Sometimes she'll yell stuff while pulling that face, and other times she'll smile at you with the same underbite.

Dance police- Penny loves to dance, and we'll often put music on and dance around the living room with her. She loves it-- right up until she doesn't. When she's no longer in the mood to dance, she gets mad if other people dance. Of course, this means that Kevin will dance until she runs over and physically stops him. Then I'll start dancing, and she'll run over to stop me. Then Kevin will start again. We're pretty mean like that.

General moodiness- Penny's almost two. She knows what she wants, and when the answer is no, it is the end of the world. My parents won't stop dancing? Nooooo! I can't just drink juice all day? Noooooo! I have to sit on the potty before I get an M&M? Noooooooooo! My parents are the worst!!

Fingers in mouth- Here we're starting to figure out what's wrong.

Waking up crying in the middle of the night- We finally realized what all these symptoms added up to: teething!

Penny has gaps on her bottom jaw where her canine teeth will soon be, and they're red and ready to sprout some teeth. Poor little girl! I'm actually glad that she broke into a fever right before we left the US (and I had already packed her medicine on the slow-boat to China), because I had to go get some Tylenol for her. This means we have some on hand, and I was ready to give her some. Counting my blessings!

For a while, she's laughed at my jokes. For example, when she's going to sleep for her nap, I'll ask her to give me a kiss. She says no. So I put my cheek up to her lips and say, "Come on, give Mommy a kiss," and she laughs and laughs.

See? This girl's hilarious.

But recently, she's been making a joke of her own. Again, when she's going down for her nap, she thinks it's REALLY funny to plop down right where I would usually lie down to read her a story. I tell her to scoot over, and she just giggles at me. Then I start poking her to get her to MOVE OVER. She giggles even more, knowing she's SO FUNNY.

The other day, I poked and prodded, and she did not move, so I said, "Okay Penny, you can be my pillow." I put my head down on her, and she positively squealed with laughter. In fact, on a daily basis it makes her laugh so hard she squeals and then gets hiccups.

She's fun!

Anyway, my "roommates" left for several days to go visit Kevin's grandmother in Taiwan. Her health is not very good these days, and since it's such a (relatively) short distance away, we wanted to visit her as soon and as often as possible. I would love to have gone, but it's not exactly a good time for me (all 1.5 of us) to fly. So Kevin and Penny went to Taiwan, and I stayed here.

I really should make Kevin write his own post about his trip, but for now, here are a few pictures.

And here are Penny, Kevin, Uncle Ron, and Auntie Su-chim:

Okay, so when I tried to explain this to a 9-year-old at church this morning, she thought I was completely nuts. I don't draw water from a stream, I didn't have to hew logs for my house, I don't have a dog, and I've never been in a covered wagon, much less forded streams in one. But in almost every other way, I feel like I'm living in a little house on the prairie.

- They pack up their things, leave the home they knew, and head out for the unknown. Their family comes to see them off, and I can only imagine that their family was happy and excited for their upcoming adventures but also upset that their grandchildren would grow up so far away. They probably never saw most of their family again. But I have skype.

- As they crossed the river, they lost their dog and thought he was dead and gone. But then after they'd given up hope, there he came, muddy and exhausted but happy to be back with them. I hope the other half of my blender makes the same exhausting journey.

- When the Ingalls family settles on their homestead, they have to figure out how to make a life for themselves using the tools that they brought and everything (i.e., nothing) that the new land has to offer. I've brought tools (and heaven knows waaayyyy too many of them) to make a life just like the one I had before. I'll never have an identical life to what I had before-- even if I stayed in the US-- life just moves forward and changes. I've made the decision to live here in China and carry on raising my family here. This life is going to be very different to my upbringing, and I'm excited for those differences. But it's awesome to be able to use my tools to recreate some parts of the familiar. For example, just this week I've finally crossed the threshold of being able to cook something (spaghetti and bread, fyi) that tastes like something I would make at home. It was extremely comforting.

- One thing that's uncomfortable as a modern reader of the Little House books is Ma's attitude towards the Indians. She hates them, fears them, and knows nothing of them. If a modern author were to rewrite the story, Ma would be sensitive of and well educated on the cultures around her, and she would probably be apologetic about infringing on the land that was theirs. But she's honest and unfortunately historically accurate. Pa, on the other hand, is more progressive and understanding. He gives people the benefit of a doubt and seems genuinely interested in the Indians, wanting to learn from how they live on the prairie so well. Since I've made the choice to leave my native culture and jump into a very different one, I hope I approach it more like Pa, but unfortunately, I have my Ma moments, too.

- Two words: crazy neighbors. The Ingallses' closest neighbor was a Tennessee wildcat who wore a coonskin cap. Then there were the Scotts and Dr. Tan, the black doctor who came to nurse them when they had malaria. They're such a diverse little group, and when thrown together, the match isn't always perfect. Mr. Scott collapsed in their well, you remember. But they learn from one another and help each other out when they can. That's our little expat community here in a nutshell. Our apartment complex held a BBQ last night, and we got to meet many of our neighbors: Germans, French Canadians, Japanese, English, Indonesians, Americans, and Chinese (of course). Many of us speak English. Some of us speak Chinese. It's fun to meet new people, and it's such a treasure to find someone who speaks your same language! We all don't have that much in common, but we're somehow neighbors and friends.

- After all the time and work invested in their little home, at the end of the book, Laura and her family have to leave. One day they're putting glass in their windows and planting a garden, and the next day they're packing up and moving on. I'm working hard to make my little apartment on the prairie into a home. Our family lives here, and it's where my little girls are going to do some of their growing up. But in the end, we're going to leave. Sure, we'll take our covered wagon full of our things, but we'll leave part of our work behind us. Our crazy neighbors will go their own ways, and life will move on.

Often, many of the ladies bring down "real" bread and "real" cheese, butter, cream cheese, and other assorted goodness. They always offer me some, but I'm generally satisfied with my Frosted Flakes and milk.

Oh wait, I guess I do.

And I blame it on Deng Xiaoping.

Mostly.

Turns out, Chinese hospitals cater to Chinese women. (Shocking, I know!) And it turns out that China's one-child policy affects more than just family size.

The hospital I was looking at in Shenyang delivers about 75% of its babies by C-section. I was really hoping to avoid this if possible. I am very grateful for the option of a C-section, because sometimes it is absolutely necessary. And it kind of makes sense if you're only going to have one child, that you might as well have it by C-section. I don't feel that way, but I can see how others might. So this was my first hesitation about this hospital. My doubts were confirmed by the women I talked to who gave birth there: almost all of them had C-sections. I mentioned to my nurse that my labor for Penny lasted 10 hours. She looked pretty shocked and said that they definitely would have done a C-section if it took that long.

Now my major complication that changed my mind for certain today: I have O- blood. It's a rather uncommon blood type in the US, but here in China it's very rare. They can make arrangements to have some on hand, but here's the catch: they don't carry Rho-Gam. At all. They said if I needed some, I'd need to bring some of my own when I deliver. Well, I need it!

Brief explanation: if you have Rh- blood, and give birth to an Rh+ baby, there's a good chance your body will build up antibodies against the Rh antigen. Then if you got pregnant again and the baby had Rh+ blood, your body wouldn't put up with it. A Rho-gam shot prevents the antibodies from being produced.

If you're just planning on ever having one child, I guess this wouldn't be an issue. And if you're a hospital supporting the one-child policy, this problem wouldn't even be on your radar.

But I'd like to have the option of more children, thank you. Ask me in a month or two, and I might not feel that way. ;)

Deng Xiaoping, I blame you. But you've also made my decision pretty clear: I'm off to Beijing.

Sometimes I feel a little bit down about living in such an urban place. During law school, we lived here.

Then we moved here:

Then here:

And now we live in the dusty, busy, loud, urban city. The other day, Kevin mentioned a cute little house with a yard full of flowers, and I cried. While I am excited about our crazy lifestyle, that is one thing I already miss.

Today I went out to visit a friend who lives in some Consulate housing outside the city. It took about 45 minutes or an hour to drive out there, and on the way, we passed this bridge. I didn't have my camera with me, but I stole this from the internet. I thought you might like it, Melanie. Seattle could use one of these:

But after spending the afternoon out there, I realized that I actually prefer living in the city, despite the concrete and all the noise. The grass was nice, and we could really use a park nearby. But I love the convenience of

My friend that lives in that complex can go out and buy fresh fruits and vegetables, but if she wants anything more than that, she has to plan a day-long trip into the city, hiring a driver or arranging for a car somehow. Ditto if there is any activity or event at the Consulate. Only a few American families live out there, and just a handful more German families. I got the feeling that the people out there feel kind of isolated and lonely. I know that it's taken me these several weeks to get settled in, and I feel like my biggest obstacle is the road construction that makes me walk TWO WHOLE BLOCKS out of my way just to get to the other side of the street. I blame that for my not having any food or groceries in my house. I can't imagine how unsettled I'd be if I lived an hour outside the city, out of walking distance of Walmart or any store, and beyond the delivery limits of Ikea.

I would love to have a yard and a garden. But with a newborn coming this summer, I know I wouldn't have any time for it. I love having my independence: being able to get around, go to the doctor's, shop at the store, and find places to go and people to talk to in my little urban neighborhood. I never thought I'd feel this way, but I'm so happy we chose to live in the city!

I don't look like I'm that far along. The baby is growing right on schedule, and I'm measuring the size I should be. I guess I'm just carrying this one a little more in my ribcage than out in front of me. It's fun to feel her kick and squirm. Before we moved here (pre-34 weeks) her kicks and movements were just ambiguous little nudges, but now it definitely feels like a person trying-- and often failing-- to find a comfortable position. She's gotten hiccups twice so far, which is a far cry from Penny, who got them every day for several months, and then every day for many months after she was born.

I'm getting excited to meet my little girl. We had an ultrasound at my appointment in Beijing a few weeks ago, and she is incredibly cute. Kevin says she looks like an alien with a funny nose, but I saw the moving version, and it was much cuter than the still prints I got. He has a point; they don't do her much justice. I'll wait to post pictures until she comes out. She'll be much cuter then.

Other than the struggle to turn over in bed and the impossibility of getting out of squashy couches, I really feel quite marvelous. I take naps in the afternoon while Penny does, but besides being tired in the afternoons and walking slowly, I have very little I can complain about. And I walk slow anyway, so I'm not sure that's really part of pregnancy.

I've gained weight, but I honestly have no idea how much. In the US, I was measuring pounds, and then I moved here and started getting weighed in kilos. So.... I have no idea what the total weight gain has been.

Have I had any weird cravings? Well, no. That would have been a better question if I had.

When I was pregnant with Penny, certain smells just made me want to hurl. Specifically, it was the smell of poop, which unfortunately is rather unavoidable in the course of one's life. This time around, even with Penny's potty training efforts and the horrible smells I encounter on the streets (stinky tofu, anyone?), I haven't been any more averse to them that a normal person would be. People hock loogies all over the ground, but that's always repulsive-- not just when I'm pregnant.

I'm overwhelmed by the idea of having two children here. It's hard to take Penny places in her stroller, because there are stairs everywhere. That problem will be compounded when I have to take two children in the double stroller. We take taxis around town, and it's already a full-time job to keep Penny from fiddling with the door handle. I don't think I'll be able to manage two of them in the car at the same time. When Penny was born, she grew so big so quickly that I physically couldn't carry her. It hurt my back to put her in the Baby Bjorn, which was what I was hoping would help me carry her around and still have a free hand or two. I'm hoping that this time around the baby will be smaller or my muscles will be more prepared to hold her. I'm sure the second part will be true, as I've had plenty of time to bulk up by holding Penny all the time. But I still don't know how the details will pan out.

They will, I'm sure. And I'm incredibly glad I've had these few weeks to get settled in here before trying to bring a new baby into the mix. I can't imagine how overwhelming it would be if I had stayed in the US, had the baby, waited 6 weeks or so, then tried to move to China with a newborn and toddler in tow. It's hard to settle in being as pregnant as I am, but it would be 10x harder with a newborn.

We hired a housekeeper last week. She comes 3 days a week, helping me out by cleaning, doing laundry, and even cooking and doing grocery shopping. We've had a few funny cultural differences so far, but it's incredibly helpful to have someone around who understands how life works here. We're still working on it. I showed her what we usually eat for lunch around here: hard-boiled eggs, bread, maybe a PBJ, fruit, and applesauce. Honestly, I know how to cook a lot more stuff than that, but it seems that I can only find 90% of the ingredients for any one dish. She commented that it was all really simple food. She's teaching me how to use the ingredients available to make actual dishes. I told her about my frozen chicken fiasco. She thought it was pretty funny, too, and mentioned that next time I should just get boneless, skinless chicken. I didn't see it in the store, but she knows where it is. See, it's the stuff like this that I could probably eventually figure out by trial and error, but she already knows how China works, and she is teaching me a lot.

I'm incredibly grateful that my mom is going to come visit and take care of me for 3 weeks next month. She and Penny will have a great time, and I'm glad she'll get to meet the new baby, too.

But my favorite perk of our building is that there is a breakfast provided every morning. There are omelets, French toast, yoghurt, cereal, bacon, fresh-squeezed juice, and tons of fruit. The food is the same every day and usually only slightly above luke-warm. But it is a great place to meet the other people living in our building. There is a great group of women who meet sometimes for breakfast, and they've been gracious in including me in their group. It's great to be around such friendly people-- even if we don't speak the same language. See, I thought I was set: I'm in China and I speak Chinese. But no, apparently I should have studied German, too.

Shenyang is one of those glamorous places where no one really goes unless they have a good reason to be there. Seriously, I spent 5 years in college studying Chinese, lived in China 3 separate times, and still never heard of Shenyang. It is one of the top 10 biggest cities in China, kind of like how Detroit is in the US, minus Motown.

We do have car plants, though, and that's how my German neighbors fit in. BMW has several plants here, and so does Rolls Royce. I asked, and the BMW employees drive BMWs, but the Rolls Royce ones do not-- they're here to manufacture airplane engines rather than luxury cars. I say that's a bum deal. Michelin tires also has many employees here, many of them French but some German as well. And many of those Europeans live in my building.

And to ensure the randomness of this post, here are a few pictures:

Penny wouldn't take her nap earlier this week, so I brought her to my room while I was not sleeping either.

And I'm happy to say that I've finally outgrown my impulse to buy hideous trinkets. A few years ago, the following would have been mine:

When we were getting in a taxi this morning, the driver opened the trunk and helped put the stroller back there. I thought it was a good sign.

I was wrong.

I helped Penny into the back seat, and the driver audibly gasped as she... stepped on the seats with her shoes. Now I'll admit, they were dusty, and heaven knows what is in that dust, but I brushed the seat with my hand, and it was good as new. But it wasn't good enough.

The driver told me, "Have your kid sit down so she doesn't get her feet all over the seat."

I tried. Believe me, I would love for Penny to sit down in the taxi, but for the moment, she was intent on standing. "Um, she won't sit." I held onto her for dear life as the driver veered in and out of traffic.

"Well, hold her on your lap! No one else is going to want to sit there with your kid's footprints all over the seat."

Have you seen my lap lately? I haven't. I tried bending Penny in half to comply with the driver and get her a little bit safer for her own good. But to no avail. "Well, sorry. She's not sitting."

"At least take her shoes off, then. She's getting my cab all dirty!"

The driver then rolled open the window and hocked a big ol' loogie, spitting it onto the street.

I'll answer that for you: no. You haven't.

I've never been squeamish about meat before, but there's something about finding a little head tucked under a little wing, feet with claws, skin, and probably even fingerprints.

I was going to throw the beastie into the crock pot, but I'm not sure how I'll feel once I find the head and feet all cooked and brown. Would it be better to decapitate the thing now? Ugh! I wish Kevin were home.

I might stick to chicken nuggets from now on.

When we packed our stuff (in 2009), and when I went out to storage to sort it (in March), we had no idea where we'd be living. There are various housing options, even here in Shenyang. They range from a free-standing house with a yard or an apartment outside the city, to a high-rise apartment that's part of a hotel or a serviced and fully furnished apartment like we have. Don't get me wrong, everything is furnished, but furnishings range from basic (tables, chairs, beds, etc) to complete (pots and pans, pictures hung, decorations and rugs). We needed to be prepared for the former and ended up with the latter.

So as the movers were bringing stuff in, they kept wondering where they were going to put everything. So did we!

So DO we!

We had the apartment management take away a bunch of stuff (most of the dishes, a bit of the furniture, etc). They were surprised at every request. I guess most people who move into an apartment like this don't bring the kitchen sink with them. Well, enter the Fishers.

We're sorting through things, organizing the kitchen, putting books on shelves, and it almost looks like we will find a place for most of it. It's been funny to see what sorts of things we ended up with, though.

When I sorted through our storage in Maryland, the boxes were generically labeled, and I had no idea what was in them. One box, though, was labeled "Comics." I was pretty sure it was either Kevin's childhood comic book collection or his series of Chinese comic books. We decided to leave them in storage. However, now that we've unpacked and found the childhood and the Chinese comics (as well as the children's books and our DVDs, which were my 2 other guesses), I have NO IDEA what might be in that box that we left in America. Any ideas?

I'll tell you what we DID end up with, though. When we stored our things at Kevin's parents' house in Washington, they were in the same space as his brother Ryan's childhood memorabilia. Even though it was clearly marked and separated, covered with a tarp, and OBVIOUSLY not part of our things, we ended up with boxes and boxes of pictures, yearbooks, and an extensive Coke bottle collection. Ryan, if you want to swing by and pick it up, we'll have it here for you!

We had a set of dining room chairs that we left in Maryland, however, all the cushions wound up here in China.

Along with a few other surprises, I'm just frustrated with how shuffled all the boxes were! I had baby clothes sorted by age and size in cute little boxes. Instead of keeping them as-is, they were all unpacked and used to cushion the rest of our stuff. And then it's not like we had 3 boxes of Ryan's stuff mixed in among our boxes. Oh no, it's like a handful of stuff on top of one box is Ryan's, and the rest is ours-- kitchen stuff, some books, and maybe a few towels from the bathroom. Ugh!

But I have my bread-maker back. Chinese bread is all white (the whole-wheat has a fleck or two of bran in it), has a weird too-sweet taste, and comes in bags of 8 slices. I am so excited to make me some bread tonight!

We had the management take away some of our furniture today. We had a beautiful coffee table that took up 75% of the available space in the living room. I'd much rather let Penny have a place to play, and now that's exactly what we have.

We also switched out the beds. Penny had been sleeping on a Queen-sized bed, which is just hilarious, considering how tiny she looks in her current twin-size. Now she has open space in her room where she can play. We bought a bright green rug at Ikea yesterday just perfect for that space. When we rolled it out this evening, she ran around in circles giggling and squealing. Penny's room is starting to look like a little girl's room instead of a guest room from a magazine.

We wanted to switch out the beds in both rooms, and we did-- but not without a little miscommunication. It seems that as the message passed from our imperfect Mandarin to the front desk to the people actually in charge of moving the furniture, our request for Queen beds switched to twins became a request for each Queen bed to be switched for TWO twins. But since we don't have four kids, we just needed one in each room. They were relieved, since the door wouldn't open with the two twins in the room.

Our building is fancy and new, and the only people I've seen have been adults-- with the exception of one teenage boy. I asked today if Penny was the only child in the building, and the lady told me that, no, there was a newborn just downstairs from us. So Penny and I went to visit, bringing cookies, and we were happy to meet one of our neighbors. Her name is Beate, and she's German with a 2-week-old son. There are quite a few German folks around here, because BMW has several production plants in the area. We chatted for a while, and we have plans to meet at breakfast tomorrow morning. I'm really excited to know someone else in our building!

Now multiply the population by about a gajillion and you have Shenyang, China. I've been here just over a week, and I'm hitting the hard part of adjusting. I miss my family, my home doesn't feel or work like my own yet, and to top it off, I'm completely overwhelmed by the inevitable fact that I'm having another baby in a month or so. Now, I know myself, and I know I'd be overwhelmed by the baby's arrival in any situation. Would it have been easier to stay in the US with my parents, have the baby there, then fly to China with a newborn, a toddler, and then try to adjust to life overseas? Probably not. I think adding a second child would be overwhelming in any situation.

So I'm fretting and stressed, and I spent a good portion of today crying, on and off. I blame a lot of it on hormones, but a lot of it is just how I feel when I move to a new place. I try to focus on positive things (which there are many), especially when I write on my blog, but I just want to be honest and say that things aren't all hunky-dory. Yet.

On our way to catch a cab to church this morning, we had to wind our way through the throngs of people also winding their ways around the construction site that is our front yard. As we tiptoed through the mud, I looked up briefly to see a familiar face smiling at me as he walked past in the other direction. Then he was gone.

I was sure I knew him, but it took me several moments to finally place the face: the guy who works at the cell phone store where I bought my phone on Friday.

It's not much, but I think it's a good sign. Soon this will be home.