Journal of my life
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Barn Dance..
Woo hoo..!
Went for the barn dance today, after much persuasion from Emma who is my JCR president of the hall. She threatened to come and find me in my room and pull me out if I didn't go...hahaha.
But I guess it was worth my 3 pounds. WOoohooo..I met so many people from my hall which I can't meet usually. And it was fun dancing too..danced with so many ang moh luiz..HAHAH..:) They had this cocktail which really has a small kick. I had 2 glasses and I was feeling rather weird. LOL.
Might be joining this bible study next monday, organized by 2 people in my hall who are Theology students!! OMG! This is going to be really interesting. They're going to start on Mark 2.
I'm starting to settle in finally. Starting to meet more Ang mohs. I'm starting to feel slight changes in me. Hope it's for the better. UK might not be that bad after all..hmmm.
I am now going to be a student member of IChemE ( Institute of Chemical Engineers ). Cool cool. Can finally put that in my CV. Hmmm:)
A lot of things are happenning. I'm glad everything is going on well. The culture shock is starting to slow down. I'm getting used to the 'open-ness' of the environment. Hahahaha..it's all in good humor and fun:)
Might go clubbing next week with all the asian societies..hrmz..:)
Till next post peeps...bye!:) ¶ 6:03 AM 0 Comments
Went for the barn dance today, after much persuasion from Emma who is my JCR president of the hall. She threatened to come and find me in my room and pull me out if I didn't go...hahaha.
But I guess it was worth my 3 pounds. WOoohooo..I met so many people from my hall which I can't meet usually. And it was fun dancing too..danced with so many ang moh luiz..HAHAH..:) They had this cocktail which really has a small kick. I had 2 glasses and I was feeling rather weird. LOL.
Might be joining this bible study next monday, organized by 2 people in my hall who are Theology students!! OMG! This is going to be really interesting. They're going to start on Mark 2.
I'm starting to settle in finally. Starting to meet more Ang mohs. I'm starting to feel slight changes in me. Hope it's for the better. UK might not be that bad after all..hmmm.
I am now going to be a student member of IChemE ( Institute of Chemical Engineers ). Cool cool. Can finally put that in my CV. Hmmm:)
A lot of things are happenning. I'm glad everything is going on well. The culture shock is starting to slow down. I'm getting used to the 'open-ness' of the environment. Hahahaha..it's all in good humor and fun:)
Might go clubbing next week with all the asian societies..hrmz..:)
Till next post peeps...bye!:) ¶ 6:03 AM 0 Comments
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
nottingham update..
Today has been a rather weird day. I've been doing a lot of walking. My legs are killing me now.
Today was the start of fresher's fayre. All the clubs and societies were opening their stalls to introduce us to what they have.
I joined the Malaysian Society and the Malaysian and Singaporean Society. Signed up for Capoeira ( hei girl..I think it's a different one!!! AHH but nonetheless..) I might seriously consider taking it up. It's 5 pounds for annual fee and 2 pounds per session. Costly but it's the cheapest compared to the others. Hmm..
Made friends with 3 Hongkies. 1 guy and 2 girls. Hmmm...they were going to play strip chor tai ti..HAHAH..interesting.
Things are starting to settle in. I might go for the barn dance tommorrow night at my hall. Sounds interesting but once again I've got to check my funds.:P
My new address is
Room G137
Rutland Hall
University Park
Nottingham
NG7 2QZ
United Kingdom
So if any of you want to send me mails or stuff, please send it there. People whom I don't know, please don't come and stalk me...hmmm..
Still awaiting my bank stuff before I can apply for a line. Sigh. This sucks.
Anyways, gonna get some sleep. Classes only start next monday. OMG. I don't know what I'm going to do till then.
Oh and this place is crazy. I woke up at 2 am to listen to the sounds of people talking outside in the quad of my hall. And then at 3 am, the damn fire alarm was set off by some idiot. And all of us had to wake up and vacate the hall. AGGHH!!-.-
But overall, things are pretty good here. People are very friendly. Starting to get used to it.
Till next time peeps..:) ¶ 6:18 AM 2 Comments
Today was the start of fresher's fayre. All the clubs and societies were opening their stalls to introduce us to what they have.
I joined the Malaysian Society and the Malaysian and Singaporean Society. Signed up for Capoeira ( hei girl..I think it's a different one!!! AHH but nonetheless..) I might seriously consider taking it up. It's 5 pounds for annual fee and 2 pounds per session. Costly but it's the cheapest compared to the others. Hmm..
Made friends with 3 Hongkies. 1 guy and 2 girls. Hmmm...they were going to play strip chor tai ti..HAHAH..interesting.
Things are starting to settle in. I might go for the barn dance tommorrow night at my hall. Sounds interesting but once again I've got to check my funds.:P
My new address is
Room G137
Rutland Hall
University Park
Nottingham
NG7 2QZ
United Kingdom
So if any of you want to send me mails or stuff, please send it there. People whom I don't know, please don't come and stalk me...hmmm..
Still awaiting my bank stuff before I can apply for a line. Sigh. This sucks.
Anyways, gonna get some sleep. Classes only start next monday. OMG. I don't know what I'm going to do till then.
Oh and this place is crazy. I woke up at 2 am to listen to the sounds of people talking outside in the quad of my hall. And then at 3 am, the damn fire alarm was set off by some idiot. And all of us had to wake up and vacate the hall. AGGHH!!-.-
But overall, things are pretty good here. People are very friendly. Starting to get used to it.
Till next time peeps..:) ¶ 6:18 AM 2 Comments
Sunday, September 25, 2005
2nd update..
Today I went to church.
It was cool. A very charismatic church indeed. Their sermon really hit me hard.
Someone gave a word and it also hit me hard. It seems that God is becoming more and more real as I'm over here. The words spoken were so well suited for my situation.
Hmmm..guess I have to depend on Him more and more.
Feeling rather homesick. There are so many foreigners here. I feel rather intimidated to talk to them though.
I had the longest walks today. My feet hurt. City center was good. Bought some junkfood from Tesco to last me on the days when I've got no food. Hmmm.:)
Social events are on this week. And I hope I don't get forced to do things I don't want to do. I guess I'm still in a culture shock. Hahahaha.
I shall start socialising later. Hmmm...I guess this is what I paid for. So I might as well use it to the fullest. Going to get some sleep now before the Freshers Address.
:) ¶ 10:01 PM 2 Comments
It was cool. A very charismatic church indeed. Their sermon really hit me hard.
Someone gave a word and it also hit me hard. It seems that God is becoming more and more real as I'm over here. The words spoken were so well suited for my situation.
Hmmm..guess I have to depend on Him more and more.
Feeling rather homesick. There are so many foreigners here. I feel rather intimidated to talk to them though.
I had the longest walks today. My feet hurt. City center was good. Bought some junkfood from Tesco to last me on the days when I've got no food. Hmmm.:)
Social events are on this week. And I hope I don't get forced to do things I don't want to do. I guess I'm still in a culture shock. Hahahaha.
I shall start socialising later. Hmmm...I guess this is what I paid for. So I might as well use it to the fullest. Going to get some sleep now before the Freshers Address.
:) ¶ 10:01 PM 2 Comments
Saturday, September 24, 2005
update update..
It's cold.
I feel cold.
Autumn is so cold. And the weather doesn't get any better.
How am I going to survive?-.-"
It's about 20 mins walk from my halls to my faculty. I am going to be DAMN fit when I go back next year.
Hopefully I can lose weight while I'm here. The food is just crazy.
Huge servings. AH. I miss so many people back home.
Yet I miss one person more than others. I bet she knows it...
Shifted into my room today. Getting it organized. It's rather small and humble but I like it.
Will post pictures of it when I get the time to. Will be visiting a church tommorrow called the Christian Center. Going for a dinner tonight to meet more Malaysian and Singaporean students.
Ah. Anyway, will update later. Uni starts on Monday with Freshers Fayre. I'm starting to get accustomed to this place.
Hopefully my bank application goes through.
Time to get back to cleaning.:) ¶ 11:08 PM 2 Comments
I feel cold.
Autumn is so cold. And the weather doesn't get any better.
How am I going to survive?-.-"
It's about 20 mins walk from my halls to my faculty. I am going to be DAMN fit when I go back next year.
Hopefully I can lose weight while I'm here. The food is just crazy.
Huge servings. AH. I miss so many people back home.
Yet I miss one person more than others. I bet she knows it...
Shifted into my room today. Getting it organized. It's rather small and humble but I like it.
Will post pictures of it when I get the time to. Will be visiting a church tommorrow called the Christian Center. Going for a dinner tonight to meet more Malaysian and Singaporean students.
Ah. Anyway, will update later. Uni starts on Monday with Freshers Fayre. I'm starting to get accustomed to this place.
Hopefully my bank application goes through.
Time to get back to cleaning.:) ¶ 11:08 PM 2 Comments
Thursday, September 22, 2005
I'm in Nottingham!!!:)
Hei there peoples. Sorry for not updating my blog lately. I still have not been able to get internet access around here except in this small comp lab that they've allowed us to use during the welcome week.
Things here are doing well. Nottingham is a really interesting place to be. It's cold and the scenery is beautiful. The architecture of the buildings here are also fantastic I must say.
It's only day 2 here and I feel like I'm missing quite a number of you back home. It's a totally different environment. Now I have to make my own decisions and stick with them. Not like back home where dad and mum use to make the decisions for me and I just follow them. Hmmm..
No jet lag since I've arrived. Visited Nottingham city today. Cool place. So many shops and all. Had Burger King here for £3!!! Ahaha..but the fries and the burger here tastes soo much better than back in Msia. I hope I don't get fat. AHhhhhhhhhh...for meals in halls, we have to line up in long queues before getting the food but the food is really great and the portions are huge.
Anyways, I am hoping to be able to get my own internet access in my room so I can use msn and such to contact most of you.
I really can't believe I'm here already. It was months ago that I said I was leaving and now I'm actually here. Everything is different but fun I guess. I still miss a few people more than others..especially Yuih, Tsuen, Grace, Nick, Ray, Eli, Lisuen. AHhh...all my good buddies.:(
But I'm trying to make new friends as time goes on. 2nd day and I've only made 2 guy friends. No girls yet. hahaha..:)
Will update my blog later. I've already emailed most of you about my condition now and it'll be pointless to write about it here as well. So off I go and you peeps know that you all can contact me by email for now since I've got no access in my own room.:)
Thanks for everything... ¶ 2:19 AM 1 Comments
Things here are doing well. Nottingham is a really interesting place to be. It's cold and the scenery is beautiful. The architecture of the buildings here are also fantastic I must say.
It's only day 2 here and I feel like I'm missing quite a number of you back home. It's a totally different environment. Now I have to make my own decisions and stick with them. Not like back home where dad and mum use to make the decisions for me and I just follow them. Hmmm..
No jet lag since I've arrived. Visited Nottingham city today. Cool place. So many shops and all. Had Burger King here for £3!!! Ahaha..but the fries and the burger here tastes soo much better than back in Msia. I hope I don't get fat. AHhhhhhhhhh...for meals in halls, we have to line up in long queues before getting the food but the food is really great and the portions are huge.
Anyways, I am hoping to be able to get my own internet access in my room so I can use msn and such to contact most of you.
I really can't believe I'm here already. It was months ago that I said I was leaving and now I'm actually here. Everything is different but fun I guess. I still miss a few people more than others..especially Yuih, Tsuen, Grace, Nick, Ray, Eli, Lisuen. AHhh...all my good buddies.:(
But I'm trying to make new friends as time goes on. 2nd day and I've only made 2 guy friends. No girls yet. hahaha..:)
Will update my blog later. I've already emailed most of you about my condition now and it'll be pointless to write about it here as well. So off I go and you peeps know that you all can contact me by email for now since I've got no access in my own room.:)
Thanks for everything... ¶ 2:19 AM 1 Comments
Sunday, September 18, 2005
thank you....an ode to the people who have touched me during my hols..
I just wanted to dedicate this blog post to a few friends of mine that made some changes in my life...and that I got closer to as well.
I just want to thank :
Wai - for being the person that you are, for being a leader, for being someone who constantly encourages, for being the person who introduced me to DoTA and started to get me playing, for being the one who got me to think through things properly.
Nick - for being my Godbrother. Our friendship has truely grown through these few months. Through the shit we've gone through, through our similar experiences, through the times when I doubted your words but I am seeing that it was trustable after all, for bringing me out often and helping me and pushing me to do things that would benefit me but I would not do cos I'm a shy person. Thanks Nick.
Raymond - for corrupting my mind..AHAHHAHA..no la. Thanks for hanging out with us and making us laugh like crap with all the corruption. HAHAHA. You're my bro for life man. A trustable guy with tons of musical talents. Ahhh....and acts himself when he's around girls. HAhaha..
Soo Ann and Sern Liang - for being the bestest friends one can ever have. For being there for me most of the time although there were times when I let you both down. Sorry. But both of you will always remain my closest friends. I hope we don't lose contact through the years.
Grace Tham - thanks for being a friend girl. A lot of things has happened and I just want to thank you for being a great friend. For listening to me, for exposing me to chill music and jazz music and also to plays ( gosh I feel so cultured ) And yes...I will never forget that day when I was given Etiqquette Lessons...-.-" Thanks girl. Hope you stay the same.:) And thanks for bringing me to Luna Bar as well.
Huei Tsuen - Thanks for being a very close friend. Thanks for being who you are and for being a person who I can so easily speak with and learn things from. Hahaha..and yes..I hope the mental harrassment will stop! HAHAHA....thanks for accompanying me a lot of times when I needed someone. :)
Jia Lin - a girl whom I've only known for 2 months but we're already close! HEhe..thanks for the fun times, the picture taking sessions, the time of learning new phrases like 'TiaO ti eHhh', for listening to me when I'm having my problems, for constantly encouraging me, for being yourself.:) I definitely won't forget you and hope that nothing changes:) ehhehe..
Huei Yuih - thanks for being there for me at times when I've felt like shit. Thanks for listening to me. Thanks for being my boss...ahahahaa..and thanks for giving me those memories:) I won't forget you and I hope you do the same too.
Elicia and Lisuen - thanks for being my makan buddies. It's been great getting to know both of you this past year. Thanks for bringing me to great places to eat, for baking the cheesecake which is superbly yummy and for the cookbooks that will definitely be of use to me later on. It's been really fun hanging out with both of you girls. Rollie pollie ollie gang rawks...and it just has to go on without rollie for another year yea? AHHAHA:) Thanks girls. I will always remember 2 of you.
Ken Zen - thanks for being the close friend you are to me. Eventhough we don't go out so much together already, but everytime we do, we still can click very well. Thanks for being my friend for 9 years already. Hahaha. Well, the memories will always remain in my head.
Soo - ahhh I'll still see you over there but thanks for being a very dependable friend when I need help and thanks for being damn honest with me at times:) HAhaha..you'll always be my close friend man.
Well, I can't think of any more people at the moment. I'm feeling very sleepy. Guess I'm gonna go and sleep now. My last night is going to be over....:( Anyways, I'll see those of you who I can't see tommorrow..next year!:) I hope you peeps don't change...sigh...
Good night...it's here at last... ¶ 10:57 PM 0 Comments
I just want to thank :
Wai - for being the person that you are, for being a leader, for being someone who constantly encourages, for being the person who introduced me to DoTA and started to get me playing, for being the one who got me to think through things properly.
Nick - for being my Godbrother. Our friendship has truely grown through these few months. Through the shit we've gone through, through our similar experiences, through the times when I doubted your words but I am seeing that it was trustable after all, for bringing me out often and helping me and pushing me to do things that would benefit me but I would not do cos I'm a shy person. Thanks Nick.
Raymond - for corrupting my mind..AHAHHAHA..no la. Thanks for hanging out with us and making us laugh like crap with all the corruption. HAHAHA. You're my bro for life man. A trustable guy with tons of musical talents. Ahhh....and acts himself when he's around girls. HAhaha..
Soo Ann and Sern Liang - for being the bestest friends one can ever have. For being there for me most of the time although there were times when I let you both down. Sorry. But both of you will always remain my closest friends. I hope we don't lose contact through the years.
Grace Tham - thanks for being a friend girl. A lot of things has happened and I just want to thank you for being a great friend. For listening to me, for exposing me to chill music and jazz music and also to plays ( gosh I feel so cultured ) And yes...I will never forget that day when I was given Etiqquette Lessons...-.-" Thanks girl. Hope you stay the same.:) And thanks for bringing me to Luna Bar as well.
Huei Tsuen - Thanks for being a very close friend. Thanks for being who you are and for being a person who I can so easily speak with and learn things from. Hahaha..and yes..I hope the mental harrassment will stop! HAHAHA....thanks for accompanying me a lot of times when I needed someone. :)
Jia Lin - a girl whom I've only known for 2 months but we're already close! HEhe..thanks for the fun times, the picture taking sessions, the time of learning new phrases like 'TiaO ti eHhh', for listening to me when I'm having my problems, for constantly encouraging me, for being yourself.:) I definitely won't forget you and hope that nothing changes:) ehhehe..
Huei Yuih - thanks for being there for me at times when I've felt like shit. Thanks for listening to me. Thanks for being my boss...ahahahaa..and thanks for giving me those memories:) I won't forget you and I hope you do the same too.
Elicia and Lisuen - thanks for being my makan buddies. It's been great getting to know both of you this past year. Thanks for bringing me to great places to eat, for baking the cheesecake which is superbly yummy and for the cookbooks that will definitely be of use to me later on. It's been really fun hanging out with both of you girls. Rollie pollie ollie gang rawks...and it just has to go on without rollie for another year yea? AHHAHA:) Thanks girls. I will always remember 2 of you.
Ken Zen - thanks for being the close friend you are to me. Eventhough we don't go out so much together already, but everytime we do, we still can click very well. Thanks for being my friend for 9 years already. Hahaha. Well, the memories will always remain in my head.
Soo - ahhh I'll still see you over there but thanks for being a very dependable friend when I need help and thanks for being damn honest with me at times:) HAhaha..you'll always be my close friend man.
Well, I can't think of any more people at the moment. I'm feeling very sleepy. Guess I'm gonna go and sleep now. My last night is going to be over....:( Anyways, I'll see those of you who I can't see tommorrow..next year!:) I hope you peeps don't change...sigh...
Good night...it's here at last... ¶ 10:57 PM 0 Comments
farewell soon my friends..
It's been a great 4 months of holidays. Hanging out with so many of my friends. Chilling out everyday. Getting to know people more. It's all coming to an end.
I am leaving on Monday, 19th September. I bet most of you know it. I'm going to Nottingham, UK and I guess I won't be seeing everyone back here till next year..or maybe longer.
Anyways, just wanted to let you all know that I will definitely miss all of you. Some will be missed more than others. But I still miss you all.
I don't know what to feel anymore. I am sad but not VERY sad. I am angered and frustrated but then again, I am not supposed to feel that.
AAh. Anyways, I will be hoping to maintain this blog while I am overseas. Sighz. I will miss all of you!:) I just hope you peeps will miss me too...
That's all for now. Too many thoughts coming in. I don't want to be related with some people when I'm over there. At least that's what I feel now. Sigh.
Gonna sleep now. Ciao. ¶ 12:10 AM 0 Comments
I am leaving on Monday, 19th September. I bet most of you know it. I'm going to Nottingham, UK and I guess I won't be seeing everyone back here till next year..or maybe longer.
Anyways, just wanted to let you all know that I will definitely miss all of you. Some will be missed more than others. But I still miss you all.
I don't know what to feel anymore. I am sad but not VERY sad. I am angered and frustrated but then again, I am not supposed to feel that.
AAh. Anyways, I will be hoping to maintain this blog while I am overseas. Sighz. I will miss all of you!:) I just hope you peeps will miss me too...
That's all for now. Too many thoughts coming in. I don't want to be related with some people when I'm over there. At least that's what I feel now. Sigh.
Gonna sleep now. Ciao. ¶ 12:10 AM 0 Comments
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
You....
This post was inspired by Raymond. It's more of a reminiscence of the times I had with someone.
Of you, I will always remember :
How you bugged me to follow you shopping because there were some people you weren't comfortable with
How you helped choose presents for me to give to people
How I would always wait in front of your house to fetch you and your sis for occassions
The times when you and I laughed
How we would always talk about things such as life, love and other people
How you would correct me if I said something bad or did something wrong
How I could completely be myself with you
The times when you were angry and I was completely afraid of it
The times when you got cranky ( ahahaha..)
The phone calls that would last till the late hours of the night
When you would call me at early hours like 2 am just to disturb me
The time when I told you how I felt about you
When you purposely made me jealous after knowing ... -.-"
The picture times we had
The time when I went searching for the Pig I wanted to get you for a present and I found it
The small chocolates you gave me as a Valentine present and still remains there unopened
The times I went to your house to give you tuition
The time when my heart dropped when you showed me THAT message
How I could be completely honest with you now and still be comfortable about it
When I opened the Christmas present from you and your sister and knew what it was and that it was your idea to get it for me
The times when you shared with me your honest opinions on certain things that you didn't like..
The poems I wrote for you on this blog
I guess I'd better stop here before I get too emotional..
And yes, I will definitely miss you a lot when I leave..=((
You know who you are...=) ¶ 12:36 AM 2 Comments
Of you, I will always remember :
How you bugged me to follow you shopping because there were some people you weren't comfortable with
How you helped choose presents for me to give to people
How I would always wait in front of your house to fetch you and your sis for occassions
The times when you and I laughed
How we would always talk about things such as life, love and other people
How you would correct me if I said something bad or did something wrong
How I could completely be myself with you
The times when you were angry and I was completely afraid of it
The times when you got cranky ( ahahaha..)
The phone calls that would last till the late hours of the night
When you would call me at early hours like 2 am just to disturb me
The time when I told you how I felt about you
When you purposely made me jealous after knowing ... -.-"
The picture times we had
The time when I went searching for the Pig I wanted to get you for a present and I found it
The small chocolates you gave me as a Valentine present and still remains there unopened
The times I went to your house to give you tuition
The time when my heart dropped when you showed me THAT message
How I could be completely honest with you now and still be comfortable about it
When I opened the Christmas present from you and your sister and knew what it was and that it was your idea to get it for me
The times when you shared with me your honest opinions on certain things that you didn't like..
The poems I wrote for you on this blog
I guess I'd better stop here before I get too emotional..
And yes, I will definitely miss you a lot when I leave..=((
You know who you are...=) ¶ 12:36 AM 2 Comments
Monday, September 12, 2005
poetry from the innermost me..
Looking back at the times
The sweet memories
The things we did
The moments we shared
I guess it's time to let it go
Let them burn
Becoming ashes and letting it be blown
Into the wind
It's time for me to move on
I have made my choice
And although I admit I fell back amidst my choice
But it is finally clear to me now
That I will stick to the choice I made
So farewell
To what I held on so long
To the fairytale which I had believed in
And welcome
The reality that I once ignored:) ¶ 1:33 AM 0 Comments
The sweet memories
The things we did
The moments we shared
I guess it's time to let it go
Let them burn
Becoming ashes and letting it be blown
Into the wind
It's time for me to move on
I have made my choice
And although I admit I fell back amidst my choice
But it is finally clear to me now
That I will stick to the choice I made
So farewell
To what I held on so long
To the fairytale which I had believed in
And welcome
The reality that I once ignored:) ¶ 1:33 AM 0 Comments
Friday, September 09, 2005
farewell dinner 2..
I forgot to call my dentist today to set an appointment. Damn it. I suddenly feel like I'm such a procrastinator.
Elicia and Lisuen are such sweet girls la. My really good eating buddies!! Hahaha..first they gave me a cook book as a farewell gift, thennnn they baked cheesecake for ME!!! AHH...I feel so touched! :) :) :)
Thanks girls..you're the best..! All hail Rollie Pollie Ollie! HAhahaha..:D
Had a plate of carbonara by myself for dinner today from Itallianies. Wrong move. I never felt so bloated in my life...-.-" Went there with Sern Liang, Soo Ann and Wing Ken. The few SAM people I still keep in contact with..
I slept away my entire afternoon ( I feel so pig-ish ) and I woke up in the evening for dinner. HAHAHA.
Visiting my teachers was always good. And I had fun today.
Yay yay. Things are getting better!:) I've really got to start my packing. SIGH! ¶ 11:54 PM 0 Comments
Elicia and Lisuen are such sweet girls la. My really good eating buddies!! Hahaha..first they gave me a cook book as a farewell gift, thennnn they baked cheesecake for ME!!! AHH...I feel so touched! :) :) :)
Thanks girls..you're the best..! All hail Rollie Pollie Ollie! HAhahaha..:D
Had a plate of carbonara by myself for dinner today from Itallianies. Wrong move. I never felt so bloated in my life...-.-" Went there with Sern Liang, Soo Ann and Wing Ken. The few SAM people I still keep in contact with..
I slept away my entire afternoon ( I feel so pig-ish ) and I woke up in the evening for dinner. HAHAHA.
Visiting my teachers was always good. And I had fun today.
Yay yay. Things are getting better!:) I've really got to start my packing. SIGH! ¶ 11:54 PM 0 Comments
farewell dinner 1..
Today was a good day. Although being plagued with troubling thoughts nonetheless, I guess it's just my brain playing tricks with itself. But then again, I'll just wait.
Anyways, had lunch with Grace today at Modestos. Large Pizza shared among both of us amounting to RM 17. That's CHEAP! Hahaha. It was fun having lunch with her. Picked mum up and had lunch with her again. LOL:P
Came home and bummed. Went out to One Utama with Huei Yuih and Huei Tsuen. I saw a miniature version of my bear shirt and Yuih wanted to get one but then it was too big for her. Wasted. -.-"
Went to PJ Seafood and had a table for 12 people. Imagine. I called 20 people and I only ended up with 12. That's about 60-70% of the people. At least it's still more than half. Hehehe.
Dinner was fun but expensive!:) Had a good time nonetheless. Thanks for coming everyone!!! And thanks Jia Lin, Elicia and Lisuen for the presents!!!:) Hehehe..:P
Tommorrow will be another long day. Meeting with old schoolmates in the morning to lunch with pollie and ollie ( elicia and lisuen ) at peppercorn to dinner with old college friends. Woohoo. 9 days left and counting!:P
Sighz.... ¶ 1:51 AM 0 Comments
Anyways, had lunch with Grace today at Modestos. Large Pizza shared among both of us amounting to RM 17. That's CHEAP! Hahaha. It was fun having lunch with her. Picked mum up and had lunch with her again. LOL:P
Came home and bummed. Went out to One Utama with Huei Yuih and Huei Tsuen. I saw a miniature version of my bear shirt and Yuih wanted to get one but then it was too big for her. Wasted. -.-"
Went to PJ Seafood and had a table for 12 people. Imagine. I called 20 people and I only ended up with 12. That's about 60-70% of the people. At least it's still more than half. Hehehe.
Dinner was fun but expensive!:) Had a good time nonetheless. Thanks for coming everyone!!! And thanks Jia Lin, Elicia and Lisuen for the presents!!!:) Hehehe..:P
Tommorrow will be another long day. Meeting with old schoolmates in the morning to lunch with pollie and ollie ( elicia and lisuen ) at peppercorn to dinner with old college friends. Woohoo. 9 days left and counting!:P
Sighz.... ¶ 1:51 AM 0 Comments
Thursday, September 08, 2005
what I feel..
Days go by
Like the passing of the seasons
Counting the time I have left
Leaves me rather sad and dazed
Things are goin about uncontrollably
Am I ready to embark on my journey of life?
Am I ready to leave everything behind and embrace the future?
I really don't know
I've been having a hard time to let things go
I'm still trying and it's holding me back
I wish things could be easier
But that's just the way life is
But behind all these things
I know one thing for sure
That my God is in control of everything
He is sovereign and I shall just trust Him
And He shall lead me through ¶ 3:18 PM 0 Comments
Like the passing of the seasons
Counting the time I have left
Leaves me rather sad and dazed
Things are goin about uncontrollably
Am I ready to embark on my journey of life?
Am I ready to leave everything behind and embrace the future?
I really don't know
I've been having a hard time to let things go
I'm still trying and it's holding me back
I wish things could be easier
But that's just the way life is
But behind all these things
I know one thing for sure
That my God is in control of everything
He is sovereign and I shall just trust Him
And He shall lead me through ¶ 3:18 PM 0 Comments
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
letting it all go..
I'm so sick of everything.
I wish I could just go up to a high place and scream and shout to release all the damn emotions inside.
I wanna crush it all up and throw them out. I've decided. I'm going to let go.
No point holding on to something that hurts me consistently. I guess it won't be easy, but that's the only way left.
I want to enjoy my time here and not spoil it because of some things which are beyond my control. I've realized that I am not myself lately. At least not my cheerful self. Always thinking of stupid things.
So let go. Let it all go. Leave me be. Dam emotions suck!
Everything is in God's hands. I'll just leave it there.
No point chasing after fairytales that end up crushing me up and changing who I am. I think that's really pointless.
Sorry guys if I have been ever so different lately. I am going to try to be my normal self again.
*Handles heart to God*
God, I trust You will take care of it and help me protect it from being hurt. Thank you and Amen. ¶ 7:08 PM 3 Comments
I wish I could just go up to a high place and scream and shout to release all the damn emotions inside.
I wanna crush it all up and throw them out. I've decided. I'm going to let go.
No point holding on to something that hurts me consistently. I guess it won't be easy, but that's the only way left.
I want to enjoy my time here and not spoil it because of some things which are beyond my control. I've realized that I am not myself lately. At least not my cheerful self. Always thinking of stupid things.
So let go. Let it all go. Leave me be. Dam emotions suck!
Everything is in God's hands. I'll just leave it there.
No point chasing after fairytales that end up crushing me up and changing who I am. I think that's really pointless.
Sorry guys if I have been ever so different lately. I am going to try to be my normal self again.
*Handles heart to God*
God, I trust You will take care of it and help me protect it from being hurt. Thank you and Amen. ¶ 7:08 PM 3 Comments
Monday, September 05, 2005
sunday..
I'm rather frustrated. Sometimes some people are just too much to handle.
I feel a confrontation coming soon..but it all depends.
Anyway, today was a good day nonetheless. Having only 6 hours of sleep, then to church and cell group followed by lunch and sleep again. Whoaa:) Had a walk in the park after my sleep with Grace and Nick, while our true purpose for walking was just to snap pictures. Huei Yuih joined us shortly afterwards.
Dinner was at Grace's place with her family members and her relatives as well as a German couple. We had German food!! YEAY!:) Nice food. We had some chinese food as well. Me and Nick were rather quiet during the dinner. Had a really good time there til bout 10.30 pm whence we left and came home.
Had a good chat with Nick on issues and it's so weird that someone who was deemed 'evil' and all can be more mature in a lot of things in life. And his insight really gives me depth to my insight. Realizing how shallow my thoughts can be at times.
I only have 14 more days. Sigh. I am just enjoying every single moment now while it still lasts. Anyone who wants to meet up with me, let me know ya!:) Hehehe..I'd be glad to meet up with everyone before I leave.
I hope that I don't change for the worst when I go over. Hrms. Hard to tell. Anyway, gonna get sleep now.
Good night. ¶ 3:12 AM 0 Comments
I feel a confrontation coming soon..but it all depends.
Anyway, today was a good day nonetheless. Having only 6 hours of sleep, then to church and cell group followed by lunch and sleep again. Whoaa:) Had a walk in the park after my sleep with Grace and Nick, while our true purpose for walking was just to snap pictures. Huei Yuih joined us shortly afterwards.
Dinner was at Grace's place with her family members and her relatives as well as a German couple. We had German food!! YEAY!:) Nice food. We had some chinese food as well. Me and Nick were rather quiet during the dinner. Had a really good time there til bout 10.30 pm whence we left and came home.
Had a good chat with Nick on issues and it's so weird that someone who was deemed 'evil' and all can be more mature in a lot of things in life. And his insight really gives me depth to my insight. Realizing how shallow my thoughts can be at times.
I only have 14 more days. Sigh. I am just enjoying every single moment now while it still lasts. Anyone who wants to meet up with me, let me know ya!:) Hehehe..I'd be glad to meet up with everyone before I leave.
I hope that I don't change for the worst when I go over. Hrms. Hard to tell. Anyway, gonna get sleep now.
Good night. ¶ 3:12 AM 0 Comments
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Disappointment...
I am disappointed in certain people.
I feel that my friendship is starting to become nothing more than a worthless thing.
I guess I expected way too much...or is it too much for a simple thing?
Ugh. I've been trying to cool myself off this but I just can't.
I guess I'm just trying too hard to be someone I'm not. I'm cool if they don't value my friendship as much as others. But it just hurts me to see that I am being ignored. Being rather pushed away.
Well, I've decided I am going to burn my emotions away soon. 2 choices remain in my way.
1. Let my emotions wreck me into pieces and feel used or
2. Burn them all away and start anew
I haven't chosen yet. But the 2nd option seems pretty tempting.
I guess I'm just thinking too much. I'd prefer my stoning phase anytime of the day now. Where my brain ceases to think so much.
It just hit me that I only have 15 more days. OMG.
What am I going to do? AHHHHH!!!!! I feel shitty now. I just realised I'm getting rather edgy these past month or so.
Ah..gonna get sleep. It's late and there's church tommorrow. Good night. ¶ 3:28 AM 1 Comments
I feel that my friendship is starting to become nothing more than a worthless thing.
I guess I expected way too much...or is it too much for a simple thing?
Ugh. I've been trying to cool myself off this but I just can't.
I guess I'm just trying too hard to be someone I'm not. I'm cool if they don't value my friendship as much as others. But it just hurts me to see that I am being ignored. Being rather pushed away.
Well, I've decided I am going to burn my emotions away soon. 2 choices remain in my way.
1. Let my emotions wreck me into pieces and feel used or
2. Burn them all away and start anew
I haven't chosen yet. But the 2nd option seems pretty tempting.
I guess I'm just thinking too much. I'd prefer my stoning phase anytime of the day now. Where my brain ceases to think so much.
It just hit me that I only have 15 more days. OMG.
What am I going to do? AHHHHH!!!!! I feel shitty now. I just realised I'm getting rather edgy these past month or so.
Ah..gonna get sleep. It's late and there's church tommorrow. Good night. ¶ 3:28 AM 1 Comments
Saturday, September 03, 2005
the fakeness of it all...
I feel unwanted.
I guess I'm just over-reacting. I don't want to be in a self pity phase. I might already be in it.
Been trying to get over certain issues about my own personality that I bloody hate.
It's not that I don't love myself, it's just I want to correct my flaws. I want to learn things to correct myself.
I sense what I am going through is part of a process to make me learn something so that I can face it in the near future. What is it you ask me? I would only let you know if you are a close friend to me and ask me bout it.
Sometimes I sense no point in being nice to people. But why can't I just put myself into being a meanie who doesn't care what people think about me if I'm not nice to them? I guess it's just my nature.
I'm starting to see that it's pointless being nice. It doesn't get me anywhere. At least not in ways that I hope for..but then again, it's not always about me.
I guess I got to start waking up. Waking up from my own little world. Where I always thought being nice to people was the way to be. Maybe I should start being reasonable. Think logically and not be blinded by anything especially emotions.
I realised that I always tend to go on a roller coaster ride which always ends up crashing in the end and burning. I'm sick of all this. I want to change...and I want change.
I guess I'll get that soon enough in another 16 days.
I cannot get why some people seem so nice on the outside, treat someone so nicely while secretly hating that person or disliking their company. If you don't like their company, just let them know dammit. It's better than being brought along, building friendship but then end up just getting hurt. I hate the politics. I hate it all.
This goes for both types of friendships, guy-guy/girl-girl and guy-girl.
Gah. Thinking too much take a toll. I hope my brains don't fry.
Despite me thinking of changing into some naughty, bad ass guy, I doubt it will ever happen. But I mean I was just expressing how I feel....
Sigh. ¶ 1:29 AM 2 Comments
I guess I'm just over-reacting. I don't want to be in a self pity phase. I might already be in it.
Been trying to get over certain issues about my own personality that I bloody hate.
It's not that I don't love myself, it's just I want to correct my flaws. I want to learn things to correct myself.
I sense what I am going through is part of a process to make me learn something so that I can face it in the near future. What is it you ask me? I would only let you know if you are a close friend to me and ask me bout it.
Sometimes I sense no point in being nice to people. But why can't I just put myself into being a meanie who doesn't care what people think about me if I'm not nice to them? I guess it's just my nature.
I'm starting to see that it's pointless being nice. It doesn't get me anywhere. At least not in ways that I hope for..but then again, it's not always about me.
I guess I got to start waking up. Waking up from my own little world. Where I always thought being nice to people was the way to be. Maybe I should start being reasonable. Think logically and not be blinded by anything especially emotions.
I realised that I always tend to go on a roller coaster ride which always ends up crashing in the end and burning. I'm sick of all this. I want to change...and I want change.
I guess I'll get that soon enough in another 16 days.
I cannot get why some people seem so nice on the outside, treat someone so nicely while secretly hating that person or disliking their company. If you don't like their company, just let them know dammit. It's better than being brought along, building friendship but then end up just getting hurt. I hate the politics. I hate it all.
This goes for both types of friendships, guy-guy/girl-girl and guy-girl.
Gah. Thinking too much take a toll. I hope my brains don't fry.
Despite me thinking of changing into some naughty, bad ass guy, I doubt it will ever happen. But I mean I was just expressing how I feel....
Sigh. ¶ 1:29 AM 2 Comments
Friday, September 02, 2005
ramblings of nonsense...
I'm feeling blank. Empty.
I don't know why. I took a speedy drive along the LDP high way in the middle of the night to clear my thoughts through.
And somehow it managed to clear some of my thoughts away. I feel that my emotions are a rather big bloody stumbling block for me.
Is there a way to remove it and just live life normally?
Gah. It's the small little things that prod insecurity in me. I don't want to make a bloody big deal about it so I'll just deal with my ownself.
ugh. please do not ask me what is it about. it's my own battle to fight.
I feel like my life is just flowing out of my veins. Draining out. I feel like I'm too bloody fed up about feeling how I feel right now. All it does is just cause me pain, frustration, anger, sadness and a whole load of shitty negative emotions.
I want to be as happy as I can be. And I am always happier when I'm with people I care about.
Anyways, I'm gonna get some shut eye. Clear my damn head of nonsensical thoughts and just sleep.
Good night world. ¶ 1:28 AM 0 Comments
I don't know why. I took a speedy drive along the LDP high way in the middle of the night to clear my thoughts through.
And somehow it managed to clear some of my thoughts away. I feel that my emotions are a rather big bloody stumbling block for me.
Is there a way to remove it and just live life normally?
Gah. It's the small little things that prod insecurity in me. I don't want to make a bloody big deal about it so I'll just deal with my ownself.
ugh. please do not ask me what is it about. it's my own battle to fight.
I feel like my life is just flowing out of my veins. Draining out. I feel like I'm too bloody fed up about feeling how I feel right now. All it does is just cause me pain, frustration, anger, sadness and a whole load of shitty negative emotions.
I want to be as happy as I can be. And I am always happier when I'm with people I care about.
Anyways, I'm gonna get some shut eye. Clear my damn head of nonsensical thoughts and just sleep.
Good night world. ¶ 1:28 AM 0 Comments
Thursday, September 01, 2005
i don't know what to put..
My day was rather unproductive as always. I'm getting upset easily and my mood is rather unstable.
I guess it's what I would call the Pre Departure Syndrome. Ugh.
I've got so much packing to do, so many appointments to make, so many friends to meet.
I'm in such a state of choices now. AHHHHH. I have to make my new pair of specs!!
Anyways, I love my photo in Grace's blog. Check it out!:) So artistic..
I think it's easy to worry bout a lot of things and spoil the mood of the moment as I always do. So I guess what I'm gonna do from now on is to enjoy every single moment I have with the people I care about so I can go to the UK, start anew and not have any regrets of not spending time with them.
I've made my decisions on certain issues and I guess it's time to execute them within these last 2 weeks. I hope I can execute them at least.
Hrms..well..gonna go get some rest. Eating with Elicia is always crazy...hahaha..but I like it!! She can really eat...and she doesn't care! Wheee..good company to eat with I tell you. Nick and Ray were badd company..not joining us in our eating fiesta!
Hrmss...too bad suennie boo didn't come along. Or else, we'd really have a non stop food fiesta till we drop!! The Rollie Pollie Ollie group! HAHAHA.:)
Anyways, gonna get off now and head for dota later.:) ¶ 8:16 PM 1 Comments
I guess it's what I would call the Pre Departure Syndrome. Ugh.
I've got so much packing to do, so many appointments to make, so many friends to meet.
I'm in such a state of choices now. AHHHHH. I have to make my new pair of specs!!
Anyways, I love my photo in Grace's blog. Check it out!:) So artistic..
I think it's easy to worry bout a lot of things and spoil the mood of the moment as I always do. So I guess what I'm gonna do from now on is to enjoy every single moment I have with the people I care about so I can go to the UK, start anew and not have any regrets of not spending time with them.
I've made my decisions on certain issues and I guess it's time to execute them within these last 2 weeks. I hope I can execute them at least.
Hrms..well..gonna go get some rest. Eating with Elicia is always crazy...hahaha..but I like it!! She can really eat...and she doesn't care! Wheee..good company to eat with I tell you. Nick and Ray were badd company..not joining us in our eating fiesta!
Hrmss...too bad suennie boo didn't come along. Or else, we'd really have a non stop food fiesta till we drop!! The Rollie Pollie Ollie group! HAHAHA.:)
Anyways, gonna get off now and head for dota later.:) ¶ 8:16 PM 1 Comments
