Watched my life pass me by -- in the rearview mirror
Pictures frozen in time -- are becoming clearer
I don't wanna waste another day -- stuck in the shadow of my mistakes -- yeah

Cause I want you -- and I feel you -- crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger, like a burnin -- to find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken, and I'm faded -- I'm half the man I thought I would be
But you can have -- what's left of me.

I've been dying inside -- little by little
Nowhere to go -- I'm goin outta my mind
An endless circle -- runnin from myself until
You gave me a reason for standing still

Fallin' faster -- barely breathing
Give me somethin to believe in
Tell me it's not all in my head
Take what's left of this man
Make me whole once again

-Part of Nick Lachey's song " What's Left of me?"-  ¶ 7:45 PM 0 Comments

  Shoot me in the head
Stab me in the heart
Nothing feels more pain
Than a broken heart

I've had this feeling more than once
And when I thought I was over you
I'd just end up falling again
With no one to catch me when I fall

When I hit the rock hard ground
I told myself I'd never fall again
Only to find myself repeating the same thing

I feel like an idiot
I feel damn emotional now
To have let my guard down again
To be hurt again
To feel like I don't want to ever love again

Pfft...
Maybe I'm just a wuss..  ¶ 10:20 PM 0 Comments

  random stuff...im losing inspiration I'm at a loss of words
Inspired but yet not inspired
Numbed but not ignorant
Burnt but still want to get consumed
Scarred but still eager to be hurt
Having a barrier but eager for it to be broken down

Jaded but not giving up on the benefit of doubt
Naive but not stupid
Frustrated but not angry
Not expecting anything but taking it slow
Worrying about the future but enjoying the moments of the present

Loss of faith in people but not giving up trusting in them
Emotional but trying to be stable
Loving but not wanting to get hurt
Unreasonable expectations but not expecting them
Pressed but not crushed
Tested but not examined

One thousand and one words to say
But none to describe me now  ¶ 3:35 PM 0 Comments

  i can't help this..i'm dam emo now..=.= With you
I feel uncertain
Feelings which I held so dear
Resurfaced unaware
And now all I can do is be quiet
And let it pass me by

What can I do?
When all I have is the next few months and an uncertain future
When I am not even sure if you have anything for me?

Time is going to pass by like a stream
Gracious and yet fast
I might not be at your side everytime
I might not be there in person when you need me
But all I can do is hold on to the now
And enjoy every moment I have with you

What I am afraid is when I meet you again
Would you still be that same person I knew?
Or would you be someone totally different..?
I don't know
People change and
The future is way too uncertain
But
You will always be someone special to me
And I hope our friendship will always be tight=)  ¶ 4:18 PM 2 Comments

  BAH Been really busy lately. My blog is practically dead.

I have been running around..but yet nothing much to blog about.

I've gained weight..quite a bit..thanks to the Malaysian food..:P haha..life has been okay so far. Work is as usual. I don't really like work life just yet. Hrms.-_-" The fact that I always feel sleepy in my office doesn't help either.

I realised that, this current summer, might possibly be one of the last times I will be back here for awhile. I'm not sure at the moment if I'm going to be back next year. I'm already missing certain friends whom are going to be leaving overseas..and from then on, I will not see them till I dunno how many years from now.

I've been doing a lot of thinking on what I want to accomplish in life. And it's just amazing. I feel like I'm still a kid but growing up already. Sigh. Already started to dream about buying my own house and car, getting professional recognition in my field and all that. Hrms...that's good but not good at the same time.

I'm also planning to stay off girls for this coming year ( I know I always say it..but I've been thinking..). I realised since I came back here, that when I'm with my close female friends, I feel very at home, very myself...I am not expected to act in a particular way. Which is good. When I'm there with her, I feel like I'm being restricted. I don't feel like I'm 100% myself. And I don't really like that feeling. Her by the way, is in no way related with me..just a friend as we call it.

I feel that I've been hurt enough for now. I just want to focus on my degree and on God before ever going into any relationship. I've decided I'm not ready and I don't want to be pushed around. Tough life...

I don't know what life brings after graduation..am I going to be working? Or continuing a post graduate? Will I be staying in UK or coming back to Malaysia? I don't know anything anymore. My life is completely in God's control. All I'm going to do when I go back to UK is enjoy myself and study hard. I'm not gonna let anyone restrict me or make me be not 100% myself. Screw it.

I've had enough of this...  ¶ 8:12 PM 3 Comments

  ai My camwhoring desires have finally been done~!:)

I feel so..refreshed!! I haven't taken soooo many pictures of myself in a LOOOONG time..! thanks raymond!:)

Hahahaha..

Have you ever wondered..after spending some time away from some people..whether you still got feelings for them or not? And whether those feelings are worth having? It's like..I don't know how to describe it. I feel like now is the most not right time to have anything to do with relationships...at least not till I settle down in one place and start my life there or continue it. With all this moving around, I feel that it's damn hard to even have anyone.

I feel that after thinking through..I feel as though I don't want to continue holding on to something that I feel might cause me hurt. I realised that when that person is around, I cannot be myself a 100%. I'm expected to live up to an expectation. And I don't like that kind of feeling. I love the feeling of being able to hang out with my girl friends here without any restriction..without having to be someone I'm not..but rather just being myself and enjoying their company. I've never been mistreated so badly before.

While I'm back here, I'm afraid old feelings might be rekindled for those whom I thought I snuffed out..-.- SIGH~! But, I'm going to keep off all this things. My heart is not ready for another emotional roller coaster ride by girls. At this moment, I have to reprioritize my life again.

Well, I don't know where God is going to lead me...but wherever He leads, I will follow. If I'm led to do a PhD, I will do it. If He leads me to work here or overseas, I will do it. No stopping me. Cos if my God is for me, who can be against me?!:) I will post up my pics in the next post. Take care till then.  ¶ 11:45 PM 1 Comments