Yesterday I set a new personal record. My laptop remained unopened, in the shallow cave of my bag for 14.5 hours! Normally I wouldn't be all that excited about this accomplishment, but I have been sitting at home for the last 3 weeks in the doldrums between graduation and the arrival of our baby. I went from "maximizing shareholder value" to scraping 6 month old capn' crunch off of the wall, and I have had to find a new way to measure success.
What in the world do you do with all of that time? I have spent every second with the kids of every day. I have been hit in the head with my own golf clubs, drawn 27 pictures of Spongebob, and completely DOMINATED gumdrop forest with Lord Licorice in Candy Land. And you know what? I am one pretty pretty princess game away from falling into insanity gorge. What in the world is wrong with me?
You would think I would be STOKED with 3 weeks off with nothing to do. However, there is a title for having time off, no work, chillin' at home with the kids, and fighting urge to poke yourself in the eye with a carrot stick:
Motherhood. So now I have discovered something. Taking care of the kids and keeping a house is not the hardest part. The hardest part is doing it and feeling like you actually accomplished something in life! What did I expect? My jump from business school to staying at home was like jumping from a train onto a rocking horse. Not happenin.
So, valiant husbands, be grateful for your jobs or school. Be grateful you have tests to quantify your value and projects to measure career success. Because I didn't get an "A" for catching Ebay's regurgitated chicken nugget before it hit the floor. Only now can I start to empathize when Cakes tells me she is going crazy and tries to find value in everything she does. How do I know? Two ways:
1.) Yo Gaba Gaba is starting to makes sense
2.) Ebay started cracking off a "movement" today in the corner (already naked in transition to bath mode) and I ran him to the toilet. I fought him and his toddler duty until the great deed was done and then showered him with Jelly beans. Is he potty trained? Nope. Did he sit on there himself? Nope. But how do I feel? Like I just dropped kicked Osama-Bin-Ladin and ended world hunger. Yeah, that good.