Tiny Toes

We all have our stories, some mamas are better than others at writing them down. I'm one of those who was quite faithful about scribbling down every little thing Lyssa said or did for about a year and a half. Since then, I have found the spaces between scribbles growing infinitely larger until now I honestly can't remember where my scribbles are. Rather than dig around for my little notebook of Lyssa "isms", I prefer today to start sharing them with those of you who may also enjoy hearing them.
Our bedtime routine has morphed into this regimen: P.J.s on, teeth brushed, stories (read or told), and some singing followed by a prayer. Lately we've been singing songs out of "My Sing-Along Bible" and sometimes read the passage that goes with the song. I am forever underestimating my precious two year old, wise beyond her years! One night after singing "Jesus Loves Me", Lyssa looked up at me and said, "Mama, can we talk about Jesus?". I asked her what she would like to talk about, and she replied, "How he died". First of all, I love this new way she has discovered to ask us questions. We know if she wants to "talk" about something, she is really wanting a deeper understanding of it. I smiled and explained how Jesus was an amazing teacher and taught people how to love and share and help each other. Then I told her how some bad people wanted him to only help them and give them everything they wanted. When Jesus showed them he was not going to do what they wanted, they killed him on a cross. (You have to know how wide her eyes were, in utter fascination at this point.) I went on to say that the most amazing thing about how Jesus died, is that he didn't stay dead! God raised him from the dead to show us that death isn't the end! Jesus is alive and with us every day! (Her eyes huge and her smile wider...) "Mama, will you sing the 'Bird Song'?" "Flee as a Bird..." I sing over her, thinking she'll blissfully fall asleep. When the song is over she asks once more, "Mama can you talk about Jesus?" I think to myself, "Man is she stalling tonight..." but out of her lips come, " 'bout that song." I'm paralyzed with the lump in my throat. She knows this song is about HIM... I tell her how we are like the bird. We can fly to him, our home, our nest in the safe mountain where he will protect US, shelter US from scary dreams, feelings of regret and hurt. (Could her face be any brighter?!) "Okay, you can go now." she states as she rolls over on her side, eyes closed, smile lingering... I am dismissed.

We were all so blessed to meet Little Seth Jeremy Tyson and fall madly in love with him. I couldn't get enough of his small warm weight on my chest.

We see the evidence of your existence
Curled, cuddled in Mama's belly
Though we do not yet see you.
But we wait eagerly, expectant,
Ready to smell newborn skin
Wrapped in angel's wings.
Mama dreams of counting fingers and toes,
Kissing each while whispering
"I love YOU through and through TOO!"
Daddy imagines stealing into your room
For a peek at your precious sleeping face.
As we remember how soon you will be here,
Our tummies tickle with excitement,
To feel your soft warm weight on our chests.
Little One, do you know how much
You are already loved?

This book was a surprise for me. The cover looked adorable so I picked it up and threw it on my library stack. That night Elyssa handed it to my best friend to read to her. So we all cuddled up on the couch for a "cute" story; me, my friend, and our daughters. She finished the book and glanced my direction, both our eyes held the sparkle of a captive tear. The girls, two and six, were ecstatic, "read it again!". Of course as mothers the idea of someday is a little double-sided. We obviously want the best for our children but at the same time why is so hard to see them grow up?

"One day I counted your fingers and kissed each one..." Oh the memories of her birth..., "Then you were my baby, and now you are my child." Is she really almost three?, "Sometimes, when you sleep, I watch you dream, and I dream too..." What will her future hold?

In Someday, Alison McGhee leads us through a young mother's hopes and dreams for her child. From, "Someday you will swing high - so high, higher than you ever dared to swing." to "Someday you will hear something so sad that you will fold up with sorrow.". She helps her daughter look forward to what fearful yet exciting adventures lie ahead.

This beautifully illustrated book is so simple and yet so profound. I almost didn't write a review on it because, after all, why would I tell anyone else to go get a book that would inevitably make them weep?! Well, as it lived in our home for the weeks that followed, Elyssa continually requested it. Slowly it occurred to me how excited I was as a child to dream about my future, and as a young adult to begin to see some of those dreams come to fruition. Although this seems obvious, it occurred to me that I could also be excited for her dreams! Meanwhile my own dreams for her future can become these simple prayers; that when she swings high, she will feel no fear, when she hears something sad, she will know an Ultimate Comfort, and when she is feeling a "small weight against her strong back", she will have built a foundation of hopes and dreams for her own children in the one that sustains her.

Daddy: "Time to get your jammies on Lyssa!"
"Why I get my jammies on Daddy?"
"Because it's time to go to bed."
"Why I haf to go to bed, Daddy?"
"Because it's time to go to bed."
"Why it time go to bed, Daddy?"
"Because it's getting dark outside."
"Why it getting dark a'side, Daddy?"
"Because the sunlight is on the other
side of the Earth now."
"Why it 'side of Erf, Daddy?"
"Because the Earth rotates around the sun."
"Why it Erf on sun, Daddy?"
"Because... that's the way God made it."
"Oohhh..."

Ahh...and a sweet smile of confidence in both her Daddies!