I don’t watch awards shows. I find that the best parts worth viewing are usually on the news later that evening. I can go about my business and still catch the best parts after the fact. Seeing as how there is rarely this much backlash, it proves to be a true statement.

Lady Gaga – She is so elaborately odd, so deliciously out there, I find her entertaining. Unfortunately, this just means I cannot take her seriously as an artist. Not that I take artists seriously. This is probably why John and I have such differing opionions on Hollywood.

Pink – I love Pink. She’s tough girl and girly. Her videos have bright and shiney colors that keep my attention! And probably about as real as artists get. Which on a “normal person” scale is like Sandra Bullock, but with better costumes. If you watch nothing else, you must see her “So What” video.

Kanye – Ehhh. Simply? Bad form. The height of attention-whoring. Tackiness personified. But? REALLY GOOD AT PUBLICITY. Here’s the thing: unless you are doing bad things to kids (and even then…), there really is no such thing as bad publicity. Anything that gets people talking will ensure that your name never disappears from the ledgers of fame. Or infamy. But the latter is probably the longer-lived option.

At any rate, I am dubious that his apology is completely sincere as 1. he hasn’t learned from his Courvosier-drenched mistakes, 2. publicity is publicity is publicity is publicity. He’s just dragging it out because that lackluster, autotuned POS he produced didn’t carry him long enough between fixes.

I took the trouble to check the weather report for this weekend during my beach vacation:

D’oh!

“So, for my age and considering it’s been two years since my last visit… tell me straight. How do my gums look?”

“‘For your age’ like, you’re old?”

“Well, no, I love you guys and all, but I just don’t think you understand NOW MUCH I hate the dentist.  It spans even the divide to talking about anything remotely involving teeth-related trauma. It’s the reason I can’t watch MMA. If I know where I am then I can maintain that level of good-osity.” (this would have been a good place to find five dollars, but it continued until my hygenist stopped me)

“They’re exceptional considering we haven’t seen you in two years.”

“Thanks. I needed that.”

There are 30 year olds getting root canals, that is something I would LOVE to avoid at any cost. I just cannot bear the thought of the sound of teeth cracking or steel dentistry tools in my mouth (have to be specific too easy to get sidetracked from not being specific enough).

Gathering how much I dislike the dentist? No? Alrighty, let me paint a picture:

When I was little, probably pre-middle school, I had a baby tooth (MOLAR. Multiple! roots!) pulled without anesthesia because I was so afraid of needles. Add that to my dentist not being the most patient person with a freaked out kid and you have instant recipe for mutual dislike and a life long aversion to the dentist’s chair.

Fast forward, going in a knew a couple things : 1. My wisdom teeth needed at some point to come out and 2. I had *a* cavity two years ago.  (sorry, dad). So when the office said “If there are any problems, we’ll have the doctor call you.” I took that to mean: “Talk soon! Byeeeee!”

So, the damage? One cavity. And my wisdom teeth need to come out. We’re negotiating on anesthesia, but I informed the staff that it is in everyone’s best interests if I NOT hear the roots of my teeth breaking. That in itself is worth the extra cost of general anesthesia.

(Not without my sleepy-time)

New York Times  published an article on a European made breast-feeding doll for girls. Wherein the girls (target age is pre-tween) wear what might as well be a flower-pasty bra that comes with a life-size doll.  The mechanics seem to be simple enough; I assume there are transmitters in them that cause the doll’s mouth to start suckling when it gets close to one pasty or the other.

You heard me.

It hasn’t hit the US yet, but it’s already causing a stir. The general, knee-jerk reaction is one of revulsion, because hey, the target audience is one that largely doesn’t need to be thinking about the ACTUAL mechanics of breastfeeding. Because they are too busy being children.

I don’t mind seeing women feed their babies in public, and I don’t think that the militant slant it can take when the whole cover-not-to-cover discussion comes up is a productive one. Not that I think any kind of militant slants are healthy or productive. Anyway.

Kids may see their mother breast-feeding and use various representations of a baby to imitate. Imitation is perfectly natural, BUT I have an issue with a doll that goes through the actual motions as opposed more harmless imitation.

For the die-hard breast-feed or let your kids starve community trying to defend your position with “representing the breast as a ‘perfectly functional, non-sexual organ'” is an effort in futility. Not to mention being purposefully ignorant of the way the breast is viewed in REALITY and BY MOST PEOPLE. Which is not something that is likely to change.

While acknowledging that breastfeeding is a natural (and the optimal feed source for infants) function, the whole doll sucking on a six year old makes me feel icky. I repeat: the doll, not breastfeeding, makes me feel icky.

Repetition is necessary because breastfeeding (BF) is one of those hot-button issues like co-sleeping v. cry-it-out methods (yes, I’m aware, don’t have a heart attack) debate that makes certain parts of the maternal community go all frothy at the mouth, quickly.