I feel like blogging but when I’m at the page of Β “Add New Post” , I will be completely lost.
Recently, I have this weird feeling; I’m really at loss of what to do about my life. I’ve been wondering about life this few days and I choose to believe that life is planned out for us right when we stepped into this world, but in the end, I still have this sad feeling. Probably that’s due to my A’s results. Human beings are so realistic, they judge your intelligence by your academic results. You have straight A’s, you are smart. You do badly, you’re stupid. I admit I adopt this mentality at times too. Who don’t? But it’s just so sad that human beings are like this. Who are the ones who determine how stupid or how smart someone is? It all boils down to the perspective that people have. I have always believed in myself that I will do well in the future regardless of what route I take, but it seems that I’m losing this faith..
I really believe that the education that our parents’ planned out for us is really important. Cause if you’re in the right and prestigous primary school, I don’t see why you can’t get into elite secondary schools and thus jc and university. And for those kids whose parents have planned for them right from the start, they will probably laugh at your PSLE scores of 250 and below; oh that’s what I encountered today. I mean some comments may be a joke, but if there’s ain’t this possibility/mentality, they wouldn’t have make a joke of it. But well, I don’t blame my parents at all. I love them for who they are and what their love they have showered on me for 19 years. Probably I would rant about why they are not willing to send me to a good primary school. Haha.
But now I’m 19, I can’t turn back into the past. I just have to live on with my life.. Thinking of retaking is boring, but I wouldn’t mind doing math again. But given a chance into Engineering, I wouldn’t mind that. Well what I’m most afraid of is when people who knows my dream(study econs) and that I’m in engineering, they will start questioning and give that look. I hate that and I’m trying hard to avoid it. Right now, I’ve no plans for my life. I should just pray fucking hard that NTU accepts me. And right now I’m living my life aimlessly. I have to admit I really hate this as well.
I don’t want to sound emo, but I really can’t find someone who understands me. Haha. I guess I should enjoy my life while I can, before I step into this haunting society of mine. Nights people! π
The Clandestine Truth 