clinging and movin on.

21 November 2008, Friday.

I woke up thinking that i was in time for econ recitation, as my alarm clock said but then, when i looked at my watch it was already 10 am. dammit. as i struggled to put on warm clothing, i glanced out of the window and caught a glimpse of the blurry outsides but thought nothing of it. it was not only till i barged through the big glass doors of the lobby did i notice white furry, swirling bits happily dancing in the air. and there it was, snow gently cascading down from the heavens, across the bridge, down the walk and up the bare branches of the trees lining the walk. it seemed almost magical and i spent longer than i should taking in the sight. it was just too mesmerising to ignore, the snowflakes gently billowing in the wind. It was not a harsh snowstorm but a light flurry, enveloping the surroundings with a tinge of white. so everything seemed to have this timeless quality, and i wished that it would stay frozen in that moement. yet it was not to be.

23 November 2008, Sunday

Went to NYC today with some of my floormates. enjoyed the company more than the city which was well...not that exciting today. asian art museum was so-so maebe cos i dislike mao-ism and have had too much of Islamic works from history class. food though was a refreshing change from dining hall: SALTY vietnamese curry chicken for lunch and acceptable Japanese salmon steak and assorted sashimi for dinner (nowhere near sagami i assure u). i guess the highlight of the day was the musical "Spring Awakening". great singing, acting and lighting. been rather long since ive seen something so good, so professional. reminds me of the good old days though i doubt we were anywhere near, lol.

regardless of geography, ethnicity, upbringing, age or gender, human emotion is quintessentially the same. then wad's with all the labels?

You are only as powerful as you want yourself to be in a democracy, so says my history professor. and so she encouraged all of us to get out to vote and cancelled class today. just as well, cos there was a death in the family. (professor, i'm so sorry to hear that; i hope you are alright.) the thousands of americans who turned out in droves to vote today are doing something that i have heard of but have never done and dont foresee doing in the near future. So according to my professor, im only as powerful as my right to exercise my vote, but what if i am never given the chance to vote? does that then mean that im voiceless and hence powerless in a democracy? or is it still really a democracy, just one that does not necessarily conform to tried-and-tested definitions? then when the time really comes, how do we know to make a right choice, not one that is driven purely but emotion, instinct and the cast of a die? How do we verify what is being sold and whether proposals are sound? It is surely an onerous task with no margin for error, unlike your everyday Math quiz; you cannot drop votes that were cast in mistake. and i am sure we cannot have the government teach us how or what to vote, simply because there would be no government then. will the choice and hence power be concentrated solely in contested wards, while the rest of the population looks on with characteristic insouciance? the contrast between here and home is simply astounding, for over here, it is not a matter of taking sides but a matter of whether you have exercised your right.

Class discussion today on how the revisionists in Japan wanted to revise history such that children can be proud of their country, which obviously reeks of nationalism. It's natural to want to the citizen feel good about their country does history solely constitute national identity? why then do they want to gloss over it instead of revealing the whole episode, trusting in the other constituents of national identity to allow people to feel good about their country overall? Moreover, as classmate pointed out, the point of history shouldn't be about nationalistic propaganda but imparting knowledge and an objective truth to posterity. No doubt, history takes on various forms when viewed through different lenses, but there should be a common, unadulterated understanding and chronological order of events that transpired. When the region shares the same history of war, it is absurd for just the Japanese to have their version of history compared to the understanding of the rest of the region. if they do not have a common understanding of the past, their interactions with the rest of the world in the future would be warped, since they are not on the same starting point as the rest of the planet. How then would there be a common future for ONE human race?

Back to national identity, history is definitely not the sole definitive factor. It's the whole culture(or lack of it), lifestyle and dreams of a people that collectively make up the national identity. Things like NS, which no doubt has its roots in the historical development of our history, are a strong part of who we are as its influences are far and wide. Despite that, what is just as strong, if not stronger, is perhaps our passion for food, our shared memories, of school, family, friends and that horribly jammed stretch of tarmac at 7am where pedestrains seem to be zooming by crawling buses and cars, that are unique not just to the citizen but unique to the individual. Can anything in the world replace what has been? absolutely not. The nation is not equal to the government. No matter how pro or anti government someone is, it still does not change the fact that their lives has been part of a greater collective conscience that forms the national identity. The same recession affects you regardless of government or opposition and as a nation, something has to be done. If one chooses to leave, fine. We may be losing a brain but we could do with one less who's morals are not in tandem with the rest of those who choose to stay. Hence it is ironic to say that he will not fight in times of need when constantly there is a yearning for the nightclubs, the food and the friends and family that is located back on the tropical island. Where can the yen stem from if there is no attachment to begin with? If there is no attachment then where do all that resentment and criticism come from when simple apathy can be in place? Nothing is perfect and we do not live in a utopia. If there is anything to be unhappy with, then work to change it, not lament all day long. To deny that we lack a national identity is to deny the collective experience of 4.7 million people and more who call that little red dot home.

孙燕姿 - 害怕
[。。。]

还是害怕夜深人静时总想起你
还是害怕的不经意的听见你的消息
然而当爱已经沉淀得太清晰
当拥有已经是失去
就勇敢的放弃
还是会害怕一个人时就很难忘记
还是害怕突然宁愿当初没有决定
然而当爱最后的出口是分离
我会这么相信
走下去

Jason Mraz was undeniably good but i just couldnt identify with most of his songs. Hence it was almost as if there was a last missing piece in the puzzle. must have just been me cos everyone else was definitely ecstatic. hmm, i guess i just cant buy all that hope and joy packed into 2 short hours. almost unreal, escapist. but it was definitely good.

here we go again, same old shit again.

NYC was great, an assault to the senses. :D Fall Break is coming to an end, dont let it end. That feeling of clinging onto something that you know will just leave, like trying to scoop water with cupped hands...

College has been really busy, totally overwhelming. I wont be exaggerating to say that ive slept less now than i was in NS... now that fall break's coming, i think it's a good time to take a step back and slowly appreciate what all this means, and mope over pathetic midterm scores. :D i wish i had more hours each day, simply to better analyse, digest and absorb whatever im learning, reading, writing. it's crazy! fall break should be longer...

i really should be doing my readings right now but i really wanted to respond to something that i chanced upon in FB.

You know how it is when campaigning season comes and people start to run for the student government. People whom u dont know start approaching you and TRY to sell themselves or people whom you have only met online try to convert you into a devout supporter of their oh-so-worthy cause. no offence, in fact i applaud your courage to take a step out of your comfort zone but seriously, the quality of your marketing and substance behind the product has GOT to be THAT MUCH BETTER.

why more food options at cost effective prices when every day there is a whole lot of wastage going on and no one gives a damn to it? yes, more choice is good cos i have more options but at what cost? at a time of skyrocketing commodity prices and food shortages, isnt such pandering to the whims of the masses a little shortsighted in reducing waste and only consuming what we need? we dont need another potato blight to tell us to cherish what we have. the consumer and consumption culture in the states (dont let me get started on the advertising gimmicks on amazon and campusfood.com). seriously.

going green. so wad if you have recycling bins on every floor of the building and use less paper towels in the bathroom when 1) airconditioning and lights are left on regardless of usage 2)the use of toilet seat covers in all bathrooms (arent those disposables?) mere awareness of the environment is not sufficient - "yeah ok i get it the earth is sick. so wad?". being environment-friendliness goes beyond the occasional use of less toilet paper but that the desire to conserve our resources and the Earth will have a deep impact and far-reaching consequences on our daily lives and habits.

of course there are far too many things that i would like to bitch abt but that would have to wait for another time. the time now is 12.11 am and i have a 100-page reading that has to be done by 11.00am and im only on page 2 so that leaves me approximately 10hrs and 49 min to finish the 98 pages AND sleep.

My first post from the states...

To all those who have shown concern in one way or another, im fine and doing well...i hope. things are different here but nothing too overwhelming at the moment. i shall just do what i want to do, period.

am still trying to make home a bit more comfy, never seem to be able to make it look homely enough :S think i really shld be a hermit for a week or so, just to catch up on work and get some personal space..

am beginning to miss the ppl and food back home. thanks for the cards and "brochure" it was really nice to read those like 2 weeks into arriving into the states. 2 wks, but it feels like FOREVER. really wish something like the "Floo network" existed, or portkeys or ... wadever.

i want belachan, curry and chinese herbs!!! americanised chinese JUST DOESNT CUT IT! and i really shld be spelling american, less they put me in a spelling bee class.

tried to catch up with as many people as possible before i leave: sec sch, jc, army and beyond. it feels like a desperate measure to cling onto something familiar, to stay rooted to the past and present. but i know that the drift is inevitable and what has been may not always be. will it still be as welcoming? we'll all try our best, but the Fates always have a mind of their own. i wish that all is and will be well.

i leave this place with a heavy heart.

been saying lots of goodbyes and piling on the calories in the process. certain points in space and time can no longer be re-lived or re-visited, only remembered. for that i am grateful.

im fighting a losing battle against time...


一人一半 感情不散
一人一素故 感情才會久
時光累計 安靜的淚滴
一心去追 愛那么可貴

這樣的人 這樣地等
無非是等個回應眼神
為愛翻滾 不計傷痕
甘心為你一生都浮沉

這樣的人 別笑我蠢
傻傻的 心痛也不覺疼
就算天冷 就算殘忍
等你想起這沒用的人

一人一半 感情不散
已經找到愛 為何要離開
已經找到愛 為何要離開

area cleaning

110808 part I) i could finally see the tiles on my floor.
120808 part II) good riddance to hanging dusty paperbags
130808 part III) overdue spring cleaning...all the lizard and cockroach detritus!!!
??0808 part IV) clearing ALL the drawers...
??0808 part V) organising the wardrobe...
??0808 part VI) force preparation--->kitbag packing (SBO, helmet, full pack,duffel)
??0808 part VII) start packing!

i wonder when i will find the motivation to do parts IV to VII. am clearly beginning to fret over all the little things, especially when laptop (stupid nuslenovoJOS) is not here and phone isnt settled. wonder if i shld bring my eng/chi/jap dictionaries and the thesaurus (so big, no wonder spelling like dinosaur) over, and the bio/chem/phys reference texts. or maebe i shld courier over. mmm.

then there's SO much shopping to do. it's worse than enlisting i tell u.

Chairman's speech at the awards ceremony on values largely resonates with what he said 2 years ago, to be open-minded yet clear in values. and the need to nurture knowledge creators and not merely processors, in order to stay ahead of the game. i felt that it was relevant and sound advice coming from someone who has years of experience behind him.

been feeling a GREAT inertia to blog lately. posts are becoming increasingly inane, no gush of emotions or thoughts to post abt.

4 Aug 2008. Sch, or uni to be more precise, has officially started for most. as reluctant as i may feel, it's time to move on, again. life's just about moving on isnt it: graduation, ORD, bereavement, anger/pain/sadness, just move on. it's abit weird to see MSn kinda empty in the middle of the day when just a week ago it was still pretty full. transitions are never easy, guess not even if you have witnessed those for a millenium or two.

sent vincent off yesterday. truth is, will be joining him in a few weeks so cant really feel much but i guess i wont know how he felt till 3 wks from now. ok less. so many people i want to see, so many things i want to do but somehow i cant seem to get started. as if by not doing anything, i can pretend that nothing's going to happen. and then freak out as i find that im missing deadlines here and there. lol. mr tan said it's like watching his children go away. ties that bind indeed, 8 years is really a long long time. and we are still in touch, im grateful for that and many things.

im not leaving, im just absenting myself for a while. a very long while.

HK was...slighttly disappointing, not to mention that macau was quite a flop. Things were expensive (relative to SG) and most of the service staff were rude; of course there were exceptions but that's another story. the streets were dirrty, and liquids were constantly percolating through the air, as if it was constantly raining. imagine contact left, contact right, all the time. and the heat was not much better than SG's in fact, i thought that back here was cooler sometimes. food wasnt all that fantastic - a bowl of maggie (gong zai mian) with 2 toppings can easily cost up to SGD$4, which is like food court prices, except that the conditions there are far from it. TT's the bad stuff i remembered abt HK :( It was however, a refreshing experience, trying to navigate the brusque manners of the hongkongers, exploring the streets late at night, past midnight as a city which truly never sleeps. unlike sg, the shops remain open waaay past 10 pm.the dessert shops felt like old world toa payoh, which was kind of nostalgic for me. this despite tasting nothing truly fantastic throughout the whole trip, not even the dim sum. what i really should have done was eat at a dingy roadside stall like the hongkongers but i guess everyone was too busy/conscious to eat those. reminiscent of taipei... oh wells.

then there was the panoramic views of the Peak, NongPing360, the GIANT Buddha and the nightview of the city skyline along the harbour at TST. :) those things were really the highlights of the trip. and not to forget disneyland. i wonder why jh chose to forego it. despite all the bad media attention, it did not disaappoint us first-time visitors. i think it's unfair to compare a new kid on the block with other sites that have been running for years in LA and Tokyo. still disneyland HK was great and if only the lines were shorter, then we could have taken more rides and visited more atractions.

i think i liked taipei more. less crowded (streets did not feel so cramped), better weather (i know, i went to hk in the summer so it's an unfair comparison) and ppl were nicer. and the best part abt taipei is that it didnt feel as frantic as HK and SG. moreover, listening to canto isnt the best feeling in the world. mandarin is preferred anytime. i'd like to visit taipei again if i have the chance. and bangkok. hk...maebe next time.

went back to school today and saw some of my classes' results. Didnt look too good - lots of 0s or 1s here and there. i felt and rather disappointed, even though those results have no bearing on me. like i didnt prepare them well enough :( felt kinda sad, but i was happy with that 1 script which had a full mark for one of the qns. but then again probably becos that was a rather good student and aid or not, the results would still have been stellar. oh wells, sometimes it's hard to distinguish whether they studied or not or whether it's really my teaching methods.

have been...consumed by so much necessary evil that im missing out on alot of other things that i should be doing. like enjoying my books, watching movies, read some more, watch more anime and drama, take in the morning sun, EAT! all this uni thing is getting on my nerves, course selection, moving in, getting around...VISA! stupid counter 2 lady in a brown tudung (no offence, really just for easy identification) was just so dispassionate and RUDE. started throwing my stuff and giving that annoyed face. i get it, ur job is not the most thankful but DONT TAKE IT OUT ON US. i wish there's a program somewhere, like an installation wizard: check the stuff you want and click install. reboot and voila, there you have it. all this is really, mind-numbingly dumb. planning is good. overplanning is overkill. time to take a step back and breathee.

shopping at challenger with kp was HILARIOUS. it's true, ask him.

I wanna teach. anything.

been reading abt plastic bags and food wastage quite a bit in the papers recently. kinda disappointing that singaporeans by and large are taking things for granted. in the face of climate change, devastating natural disasters, food shortages and energy costs increases, people seem to be penny-wise but pound foolish. buy cheaper alternatives? yes, but throw away the leftovers just the same. going shopping? never mind our own bags, the store will provide us with plastic bags anyway. where's the sense in that?

BYOB day, every first wednesday of the month, is simply grossly insufficient. When many countries or states/ cities have gone the way of outlawing THE plastic bag, including china, 1 miserable day out of 30 a mth is simply...pathetic. moreover, paying 10 cents for a plastic bag when one forgets to bring his own bag is simply not disincentive enough to discourage ppl to do so, since stores cannot simply refuse bags to customers, especially those with many purchases. so perhaps making such ppl buy a $10.90 tote (and enough totes to fill up all those buys) would be a more effective way to deter use of plastic bags. the use of plastic bags has become such a way of life that people dont think twice when using them - all the takeaways, grocery purchases, effectively all things under the sun. rising affluence has resulted in greater apathy towards the wanton use of plastic bags or disposables in general. all that talk abt a buy-and-throw society is ringing louder in this day and age. we seem to have taken for granted that there will be an incessant stream of polyethene bags, till the end of time, never mind that crude oil has gone above USD$120 a barrel.

The government can simply ban the use of the bags, but that will simply be an easy way out. and look where has that gotten us - remembering to bring plastic bags only because of the thought of having to pay for one is simply...unjustified. this is something that anyone can make a difference, simply by refusing bags for small items or bringing our own. a bit bright, i know but that's the point - creating awareness. when the demand has fallen appreciably and people have moved on from plastic bags then will the authorities seal its fate, "why deliberately create friction with the people?" and so we all do what we can. right. this is a movement and it cannot simply come from top down. we have to all want it. and the question is, are we ready? i suppose we are, just that the inconvenience may need some getting used to.

Another evil that rising affluence has spawned is the amount of food that we waste. Think SAF Cookhouse and u'll get a piece of the jigsaw. now multiply that to hotels, restaurants and hawker centres - all forms of eateries big and small - and the puzzle is complete. how many people throw food away simply because it is "not nice"? or procure in excesses such that they have gone bad before they are even consumed? or worse, simply because there's too much excess and leftovers simply wont do for reputable establishments. what about the millions and billions who have to starve everyday? no need to think of africa, wad about those back home who have to stuggle for their next meal? skip the carbs, pick out the greens. has anyone learned about a balanced diet. or at least, if you know you wont be eating it, health reasons or not, dont order it. this time, even the businesses can chip in. leftovers and ingredients may not be their freshest but they can still be edible. instead of dumping them into landfills and incinerators, why not just deliver them to soup kitchens or charities where the poor and needy can benefit? of course such a network needs a concerted effort and perhaps the authorities could step in. but all is easier said than done. :(

we have gotten used to many things and taken things for granted. that's a sad reality and will take generations to change...or not. perhaps a cyclone needs to hit us before we start waking from our dreams.

did not hold classes formally on the last day of sch for the first time, but spent most of my lesson taking photos and talking about all things not related to physics :) for ONCE, i wasnt too sure that i was too happy to see sch shut down for the month of June. First of all, being jobless isnt the most pleasant experience, not like i was some shackled beast of burden. the pay, although not fantastic wasnt, too shabby. and i'll probably want to know how my students for a term will fare in the coming CTs. it's quite...worrying to know that i may have sped thru 1/8 of their JC careers and they may have not picked up a single thing thru all those tutorials, despite strongly believing that there's only so much i can do if someone insists on not doing his work. oh well, cant be helped. i can only try to answer ur qns and pre-empt what you might wanna ask, not take the test for you. so... all the best! will definitely miss the canteen though and endless tutorials in the lab. and so that's the end of 3 mths as a tutor, my first and most probably last encounter. if i could just be a ST, i'll definitely considering teaching as a career but nothing can be further from the truth. the cynicism in the staff room is, ironically, understandable. :D

was fashionably late for teddy's chalet that night. unfortunately i couldnt stay over but it even more unfortunate that out of the many of us only TWO turned up. we'll fare better next time! happy birthday to u. and it was even more miserable to be LEFT OUT. YOU yes, YOU! unforgivable, period.

Went on a whirlwind tour of SG's attractions yesterday on Daniel's ASA cards. started out at J8, where we met for breakfast and paid for the airtix to HK. then we hitched a ride to the ZOO, courtesy of jh and his sister's Honda.

the zoo was bad - warm, humid and most animals were sleeping, pooping or pissing. moreover it didnt help that walking up and down the trails, taking in all the smells left us...drained of energy as noon approached. quickly looked forward to lunch Adam Rd Food Ctr, Selera Rasa Nasi Lemak. :) and sugar cane juice with lemon. everyone was too full for island creamery after that :(

then we tried navigating to sentosa, wanting to go on as many attractions as possible before gg to the underwater world, not expecting the throngs of indian tourists there. 4D magix was barely passable with its flimsy and lame plot but the tourists seemed to enjoy it, exclaiming at the very first 3D image that materialised. definitely not worth the SGD$16 that we would have paid otherwise. decided to save the skyride and luge for another day and proceeded to the merlion. the aircon and lack of a crowd was quite refreshing and the view at the merlion's head was quite amazing despite the heavy construction works on the IRs. won a set of coasters as a mystery gift and not the fan that we would have otherwise all got. :) the underwater world however, was quite disappointing, not worth the hefty $20 entry fee otherwise. the problem was exacerbated by the aforementioned tourists, many of whom pushed and shoved and there was even this little brat who tried to scurry past me along the way out and pushed me aside. couldnt be too forgiving when his immediate action was not one of remorse but that showing his burning desire to fuse with the giant crabs on display by sticking his body to the glass case. :S

Plans to go up with the DHL balloon went awry when flights were temporarily suspended due to Cat 1 weather. so we sat and mulled abit before gg to marina sq where joel met us for dinner. sly ppl went to get a cake for daniel and i while we went to draw money for dinner. tsktsk. but it was very thoughtful of them, cake and jacket. how nice :))) a gd break from the day's hectic schedule before proceeding to the newest attraction -The Singapore Flyer.

Due to Daniel's gd PR skills and Joel's sister who was promoting the Family Day event there. we managed to secure not only free rides for all 8 of us but also a private capsule to ourselves, that would have otherwise set us back by 2k no doubt (ok minus the signature cocktail but still...) talk abt exclusive. the night view on the flyer was..not exactly mesmerising but we could easily appreciate the skyline that is uniquely singapore - Fullerton and the CBD on one side contrasted by HDB blocks on the other side, ensconced by the shimmering black blob that was the sea. a very good way to end the evening indeed as we sat through the ride, taking in the scenery and hoping that the one passenger whom we left behind wasnt too miffed with us and posted some seriously disturbing comments on STOMP indeed. Haha

it isnt every time that we could come out for a whole day of fun and activity like this, driving around and visiting attractions but it was exciting, albeit tiring. kinda amazing that 7-8 years down the road, we are still together despite having gone through entirely different experiences. and not just with them but also the EL peeps and other 2-7/4-4 guys. things like these are hard to come by, especially as paths get increasingly divergent but i should be grateful for what things are. student years are the best yet! Hong Kong will definitely be fun.

muse hasnt been visiting lately. or maebe nothing has been provocative enough to warrant an entry. or perhaps i was just too lazy. wadever.

been so caught up with work lately that it's almost like im studying for MY a levels. i wish i were as drilled as then. kinda miss the frenzy of knowing everything at your fingertips when attempting drill questions and still getting stuck at some. :D but no, im getting stuck at every other question. now i truly question what i did back then. cant even solve for general solution to trigonometric identities. :(

i wonder if this will be life as we noe it. stick to a routine and life = job, punctuated by the highs and lows of work. i believe in what ms chua said abt work being a means to life and not an end in itself. and i think it's a bonus if work is fulfillng. so till then, work shall be a challenge and exploration till i can see where i really want to be. like ps said, so what if i win the rat race? i will still be just a rat. haha. and life is an equation to be solved by you-know-who. so till then, till "financial independence" is attained. :D

what we study really shouldnt have a great impact on future careers, unless it's a profession, or should it? does it then mean that people who dont do medicine, law, engineering, accountancy and the like are doomed to flounder in limbo? it is appalling how people narrow themselves to what they choose to major in :( there's really no end to the human penchant for classification and labels, which once stuck are exTREMEly stubborn.



read in the papers abt ppl wanting the minister to step down for mas selamat's escape. hmm brainless idiots. by that logic, when a student commits suicide, the teachers and parents shall be sacked and the parents jailed. when a mistake is committed, it's not so much about who should bear the responsibiity but how ameliorative action can be taken and what lessons are learnt. deal with it. by stepping down, it's actually more of an easy way out. after all, once stepping down, it's no longer his business isnt it? that being said, when it comes to graft and what not, i'd strongly recommend a quick exit on top of having to face the legal consequences:)

and doctors who rip their patients off? simply unethical. worse than letting a million mas selamats lose. first of all, they are profiteering from someone else's malady, kinda like gloating over other's misfortune. second of all, being in a more informed position, every conscious act of including unnecessary and more exorbitant but less effective treatment SERIOUSLY undermines the integrity of the profession as a whole. they should be barred from practising!!! ok it's a bit extreme but i kinda believe in sacrificial lambs. if it's the money, whatever did they take up medicine for in the first place? go into banking! years and years of toil and torture to attain that specialist status doesnt give them the rite to overcharge or spawn a never-ending vicious cycle. more regulation is it and the health ministry shouldnt be afraid to make unpopular decisions. utilisation of medisave in JB should give some high and mighty sputum a reality check. and the more ethical healers should exert some positive influence and pressure on those who have strayed :(

went to alaric's 21st yesterday. been some time since ive seen some people, like his mom and keith's parents. and unexpectedly, some ppl from NJ and NS. pleasant surprise ;p sad fact was, couldnt make it to the airport in time to see ps off. and on fri i told him i'd "see him tmr." famous last words, he got that rite. :( a tad too disappointing....

seems like there has been a recent furore over GPs performing aesthetic procedures on patients. i really wonder how med students think abt this. considering that top US med students have allegedly been fighting tooth and nail over residency(did i get that rite) places for aesthetic practice, it'd not be surprising that most, if not all, of our top yong loo lin students aspire to be like woffles wu. it IS a highly lucrative industry, what with our beauty-obsessed world and what not. but i have faith in why some of those in YLL want to study medicine (thanks mos for saying that it may not be so bad to not go into pte practice. suddenly doctors don seem too mercenary.) after hearing all those S$3000 / eye/ 15 min rip-off stories from andy and samuel, it's really not so reassuring. and there isnt a need to regulate prices i heard. hmph, licensed to rob.

makes me wonder what is the true motivation for the study of medicine. year after year many ppl tear their hair out over a much coveted spot in YLL - i wonder what's all the motivation behind all that? does the school purely admit people who are just academically brilliant, or those who are in it for the service of mankind? it's a noble calling and i knew that i am not so great so i didnt even bother. and again if those who truly have that calling cannot meet demand, then perhaps more if not most people may be in it for the moolah. i shudder when i think of the number of parents who dictate that their children should be doctors just because they view it as the epitome of success - then what about their children's dreams? and even more when people let their lives be dictated for them, the money is not too bad anyway. hmm. at the end of the day, some say the high charges are a sort of consolation for the many years of study. but when should it end and if that's really what someone wants to do, then the study shouldnt have been such a torture isnt it? the process may have been a necessary evil but it's just worse to perpetuate the vicious cycle because human beings can never put an end to avarice. that is just the nature of the capitalist world that we live in. but i must say it beats the extreme conditions in Orwell's Big Brother anytime. and doctors are human beings after all. they have their needs and wants and more dough wont hurt. knowing the rite thing is easy; doing it takes immense courage.

there's no deal if there's no demand. so those who are trying for a quick fix or instant solution to all those "beauty woes" are really the accomplice. but that's really another story altogether. evil corporations which prey on the naive and desperate. the devil takes on many forms and people have short memories.

saw in the papers that 2 very reputable insitutions intend to give out their own diplomas. as it is, our education system has so many filters at different levels that many have raised the issue of elitism. not surprisingly, this is an unfortunate effect of meritocracy. so instead of acting as a social-leveller, it has further polarised the many strata of society. why else have movies like I Not Stupid been made? EM1/EM2/EM3, Gifted/Special/Express/Normal(Acad)/Normal(Tech), diploma VS A levels,Streamed VS non-streamed, Mainstream/IP/IB. In NS, why is it that most if not all NSF commanders are JC and poly grads and seldom, if never, others of lesser qualifications, some of whom have been known to be better performers than some so-called academically superior? At tertiary levels, there's a differentiation of local and overseas universities. Even locally, there are many pre-conceived notions of the few local institutions here. such labels and the stigmas attached are hard to get rid of but they are an inevitable result of the many rankings that we like to see and form a virtually indestructible foundation for the nefarious rat race. While the intention of pitching the difficulty and intensity of the course to the aptitude of the student should yield, theoretically, optimal results, a serious side-reaction has not been adequately dealt with.

By deciding to issue their own diplomas that "better reflect the students' achievements over their 6-year course" in addition to the national exams, ie the GCE A levels, they are inadvertently adding to the differentiation of students. and is that really necessary? further increase the disparity between the haves and have-nots? moreover, not everyone in the respective institutions will be issued with the diploma so wont it adversely affect school cohesion in the long-run? obviously, those who get issued that additional scroll would stand to gain from the extra weight in their academic credentials and it would bolster the institutions' reputation of academic success and excellence. furthermore, im sure technical issues of accreditation and getting universities to recognise the diploma would be not much of an issue seeing that these institutions already enjoy nationwide acclaim. but from the standpoint of national interests in the long-term, why bother causing greater polarisation when they are already arguably the most sought-after institutions in the state? jus to give their very best a competitive edge over others and (i exaggerate) cause the social barometer to go off like mount vesuvius?

the only things that are constant are change and increasing competition. the A level sybllabus has been recently revised in a bid for it to remain more relevant to the ever-channging world and competition is getting increasingly stiffer in an increasingly gloablised world. having been through and left the system, i'd like to think that such a move of issuing separate diplomas would be (would that put them on par with poly grads?) a tad too selfish and narcissistic, wouldnt it?

"More families are breaking up today. We need all the help we can get to provide a home for our children."

Instead of looking at ways to cope with divorce, which is like trying to find a cure for HIV, why not look at the root causes of divorce in the first place and nip the problem in the bud (say NO to casual intercourse!)?

Marriage as an institution is failing if the current trend of increasing divorces is to be believed. That the notion of free love being superior is paradoxical compared to the ancient practice of arranged marriages, in which love can be nurtured and flourished under the auspices of authoritative parents.

Considering that in both cases, 2 persons start as strangers, the idea of free love only has the additional element of choice. as we all know, human beings are far from infallible so what gives the choice of soul mates absolute certainty? and then the rest of nurturing and committing to the marriage is as we know it. so it again boils down to choice and therein lies the problem.

We have all heard of enduring and lasting unions but even those are few and far between. These are found in both arranged marriages and people who have found each other (arent they both the same in a way?) so what differentiates them from those who have failed? i'd like to say that instead of assuming that all will end happily ever after, those who have succeeded have never been complacent and have braved through storms together. Those who didnt may have taken too much for granted and not put enough into nurturing something which they have always assumed to be constant. Hence, whereas we may blame our elders for failed arranged marriages, all 10 fingers point to the individual in choice.

In an increasing globalised world and with relentless breakthroughs in technology, we are increasingly exposed to a wider gamut of options. That also means we are getting increasingly bewildered by our choices and can get increasingly demanding with knowledge of the whole spectrum. With cultures and influences travelling around the globe with the click of a button, it also isnt surprising that human interactions get increasingly complicated. How many of us can say that we have one person whom we know thoroughly inside-out? Thus, it is not surprising that ppl find so many excuses (3rd parties, loss of feeling, lack of excitement etc, arent they are the same) to end a marriage and many parties are often dragged into the storm. That being the case, then isnt the trend of rising divorce rates really a reflection of the state of human beings as confused souls who dont know what they want?

It is thus an imperative for people to know who they are,what they want and be able to treat others sincerely and respectfully, that is, if skyrocketing divorce rates are a cause for worry, if any. Simple things that are easier said than done and constantly being eroded in the face of wanton consumerism, instant gratification and hedonistic pleasures. Also, getting together may be a Herculean task but staying so is no less a superhuman undertaking. it entails not being impossibly demanding and being less self-absorbed and egotistic, which unfortunately stem from the rat-race or rather the abyss that our species have created for ourselves.

Before subjecting ourselves to reckless abandonment and get ourselves caught in a downward spiral of dysfunctional families and broken marriages, we should really take a long hard look at ourselves and determine what is really the problem that needs to be solved. have we merely put aside that identity crisis for long enough or is it just that extra smile in the morning or that look in those eyes? whatever the case, the government cannot be a panacea to all our problems and if we need someone to give concessions and leeway to divorcees all the time, then we are not really dealing with the problem at hand but merely alleviating the signs and symptoms.

On foreign workers' lodging:

was reading the Sunday times when i came across the article saying that 2 foreign workers' dorms are slated to be built near the LCK cemetery. For those who are blissfully unaware, the LCK cemetery is isolated from the rest of singapore and is the last major landmark that you'd come across before approaching the trg area of SGC, TVMA, and other wilderness that non-NSmen cannot possibly imagine exist in urban sg. having called that establishment home in the last 1.5 years, i have personally experienced the dread and inconveniences of living in literally the western tip of our tropical paradise.

the whole affair reeks of social alienation of the foreign workers. even though a survey may have indicated that most of them do not mind living next to a cemetery, a significant number have voiced that they would prefer to live elsewhere if given a choice. they are after all migrant workers and have to make do with the living arrangements made for them by their employers; they cannot possibly protest living next to a cemetery, with repatriation being a not-so-remote possibility. with their livelihoods at stake, it's only natural that they would not mind living next to a cemetery, seeing that employment beats hunger and destitution hands down anytime. so what happens in the times of an emergency, say myocardial infarction??

superstitions and supernatural beliefs are arguably prevalent throughout all races and cultures. im sure that the man on the street can easily relate to the reluctance of living next to a graveyard. that seldom are homes built next to cemeteries attests to that fact. by letting them live on a site shunned by local people, are we not letting our actions speak for ourselves? are they not in a way exploited by arranging for them to live in a place that noone else would want to? how would we feel if the HDB built some flats next to a graveyard and that is the only place where homes are available, anything else priced beyond reach?

it is a fact that that most migrant workers are looked upon with disdain by locals, especially so if they are taking on menial tasks that are similarly shunned by the locals. in creating a KBE with a highly-skilled workforce and making education compulsory for everyone, we have created a social gap that is currently filled with migrant workers, especially in an age of hedonism and instant gratification. before we banish those who take on such undesirable jobs to the fringes of society, let us remember that we have our roots as a migrant society and our forefathers came to take on jobs that were beneath our colonial masters. currently, without foreign workers, who would sweep the roads, take out the trash, build our HDB flats, just to name a few? ther'd no booming construction industry if we do not have enough banglas, as we so affectionately call them, to help with the tedious and laborious processes. whatever happened to good old CME when we learnt that everybody had their role to play and we shld appreciate the niche roles that each person plays?

one foreign worker commented that Singaporeans want them to build the flats fast and yet be invisible at the same time. if that is indeed the case, shouldnt we be concerned with the snobbish, unappreciative way we treat migrant workers? or is it a case whereby the money does all the talking and if you dont want to do it, someone else will? i can understand why the authorities chose not to place the workers' quarters in the centre of HDB heartlands (think integration issues) but being social creatures just like you and me, being isolated in the wilderness of sg will isnt being totally fair to them and will only serve to continue the alienation of migrant workers. what can be done is creating an environment where we can get to know each other better and where the workers can have easier access to basic amenities (instead of more mud and shrubs). the rest is up to the community-at-large to determine which direction to head and such social pressures inadvertently form the human-o-sphere that we call home.

On money:

after having worked at a minst. and in a school, i have decided that the equation time = money is not homogenous. for the price that i have to pay for working like there is no night or day, the remuneration is simply not worth it. the time can always be better spent to build better relationships with other people, in a form of non-materialistic investment that is definitely more satisfying. it is difficult to trade my human-ness for a bigger paycheck and i shall keep reminding myself that. more money is good but it cannot be a guiding principle of life. perhaps being bonded isnt so bad after all; at least i get proper development and reasonable challenge, i hope. aiming big isnt always abt the moolah.

On the 6 year IP programme:

Vincent was saying what happened to the good old days when no one cared wad CCAs you took in pri sch. and i second that. i see pri sch as a lab, where children can experiment with the myriad of activities available so that they can clearly identify their interests. if u havent noticed, im an interests-first person. if a person has to plan at such a tender age or be left behind, im guessing that speaks volumes of the society we live in and the pressures we are placing on the next generation. and we only seriously thought about such problems at 18, let alone 12. isnt expecting someone to know what they want in life at 12 a bit unreasonable, or is it again a case of parents know what is best for their children? i guess to a certain extent, it plays both ways even though im more inclined to believe that the move is played more to the adults. moreover, we are assuming that the programme has and will be a brilliant success to want to commit to it in its infancy. the old system has been tried-and-tested and with the recent revamp, it cannot be said to be totally obsolete. so wad's so bad about going through the mainstream system compared to the IP? for one, having gone through the O levels exams will pitch students at a more adequate level to face the A levels. that being said, i cant deny the fact that some ppl think that the A levels is merely an extended version of the O levels and prepare for it in the same way, only to be struggling through it all and lamenting their fate. however, that is simply a matter of a paradigm shift and compared to the dangers of not having gone through a major exam before, i want to belive that having gone thru the O levels warrants its merits. the recent spectacular showing at the IB results release may disagree with what i believe but only time will tell if a thru train programme for the A levels is indeed viable. moreover, those 2 systems are not exactly identical so a gd showing at the IB doesnt necssarily mean that this year's A levels will be gd. however, i do believe that eventually, it boils down to how badly the individual wants to do well and how much effort was put in nurturing the fruits of his education.

Was reading the sunday papers when i came across 1) the contract for services of honeytrappers and 2) the expectations of Singapore women on their dates.

1) There are already many factors that test any relationship. why bother setting a trap to see if the other party will succumb? the whole affair reeks of selfishness and mistrust, as if they will only be gratified if the trap ensnares the prey. this whole concept plays solely on the vulnerability of human beings and im not so sure if the hunter will be fully convinced IF the first time round failed. try for countless times and im sure u'd succeed, with your pockets much lighter i guess. so go ahead, gratify your self-righteousness and make urself broke at the same time. it's the only logical thing to do when you are already convinced but have no evidence:) ignorance is sometimes bliss but ignorance and a dash of trust is nirvana in a day when we increasingly dont know what is what.

if you cant trust ur partner to behave, then it is already over. using honey trappers to gain evidence to get out and a fat parting sum is wholly unethical and deplorable. burn in hell, whores. human beings are creatures of affection and inundating assaults on the emotional core will cause even the most resilient to buckle, unless of course he is a saint or his emotional core has been removed. then i'd say that there is a future for androids cos we really want 101% loyalty and it may be cheaper to get a dog. it doesnt really help when you dangle all my favourite foods in front of me when im on a diet. lust VS gluttony, which is the greater sin? for greater effect, use money instead of food.

perhaps these people have failed to see that something is lacking(love, care, concern, communication) or refuse to believe that there is an inherent problem in their relationships so they are adamant that the fault doesnt lie with them. get a life. people always choose to take the easy way out. it is never easy to take the first step to communicate the problem (education takes generations!) but all it takes to point the finger is to lift it. hasnt it always been the case since the proliferation of radical extremists? disillusioned with the way the world is going(im beginning to see why), they destroy with reckless abandonment, hoping to use fear to control the people and hoping to shape the world as they really want to see it. bet historians all over the world would be turning in their graves cos we didnt see world being cocooned in peace and immense joy under the rule of adolf hitler. these are warped cases of mahatma ghandi gone wrong and im glad that the human psyche is more resilient than that.

2) even though the sample size of Lifestyle's survey is small and could be an inaccurate representation of the general female population in our beloved motherland, i have to be concerned with the random sample of 200 persons in the survey for who knows, this randomness may be a fair representation of the the huge sample space of say, 2 million(thanks squirrel!)? this is especially so when the responses resonate so deeply with most, if not all of them (JC students can only dream of such scores).

no doubt confident, assertive and practical, i cannot deny that women are equally as capable as men in most if not all aspects of life, save the inherent physiological differences. but take a look at female bodybuilders and all notions of that would go to the wind. i digress. all the talk about equal opportunities at the work place, and women rights (i dont see no men's charter or people brandying men's rights)is purely hypocritical when they expect to be treated as the fairer sex when it comes to dating. admittedly, acts such as opening and holding of doors are social graces that should be encouraged and in fact should not only be limited to the opposite gender. however, free meals, safety escort services, "celebrations" and dressing up and not having to carry handbags really seem to weigh alot on the list for ladies, but dont they only reflect a deeper sense of insecurity that underlie the facade of confidence and independence? it just screams superficiality and shallowness in mindset and thinking. and it doesnt really help that an even greater overwhelming majority of men would like to conform to these stereotypes, perhaps just for the sake of ingratiating themselves with their dates(i cant really say girlfriends. maybe girlfiends)

it is with little wonder why divorce rates are skyrocketing when relationships are based on such superficial matters cos the foundations are not deeper than 6 feet underground. moreover, putting the pressure on men to perform certain things makes it a lopsided relationship and it is not difficult to see why there are increasing difficulties in today's relationships. how long can you deceive yourselves? granted, some may argue that paying for meals, bringing her home, holding "celebrations" and dressing up and carrying handbags can be seen as willingness to provide for the other, concern for her safety, placing her as a top priority and catering to her every whim can be seen as his true devotion to the cause. ever wondered how mutual consent to intercourse is not rape but one-sided insistence is? it may be a bit far-fetched but the point is that love, care and devotion is not regimentalised but cultivated by both sides. If pandering to each and every whim comes at the expense of total disregard for the other's life then our society would be better off making the economy more robust. i cant help but feel sorry that these over-romanticised notions of courtship that come from sensational western media have been totally imbibed without first being treated (damn disney and haapily-ever-after). and in comes all the sedimentation, and what-have-you. think NEWater minus the ultrafiltration and reverse osmosis and UV light treatment. there is no harm in the a little indulgence but one must stay firmly rooted to the ground, as is apparently not the case.

Dont take all those nice gestures for granted and be sure to reciprocate in kind. after all, it takes 2 to tango.

it feels good to be lost.

met with daren, jz, daniel and jimmy yesterday at JLN KAYU. it's supposed to have some really gd prata but in the end we went for the supposedly cheaper version which had more patrons. IMHO the food was so-so but because they forgot that we had chocolate prata so we had a discount. too full to talk. but we easily spent over 2 hours there talking about everything under the sun. kinda nostalgic and sad at the same time cos some were leaving for down under. and daren was so distressed that internet access would be limited there :D dont worry, we'll miss you. we may not all be in 483 but we were once 42/7. :) a pity that some people couldnt make it due to work commitments.

i've come to realise that agreeing to meet is largely a personal decision and is dependent on one's priorities. of course, circumstances vary and it's difficult to decide on a time that all are available since it is unfair to assume that everyone works 9-6 and has 2 off days every week that will fall on the weekend, but it can be disheartening to know that repeated attempts and early warnings have failed. thus i appreciated the effort from those who made time to come (who knows how long more before our numbers dwindle to a few) and i can only try to understand and respect the decision of of those who chose not to or who were unable to come. of course, after a harrowing day, one can be rather hard-pressed for an early retreat to fight another day or to soldier on. and i can truly understand that because i hated the times when i only had time for work because everything seemed urgent(and why is that so) and had no time for food (terrible days. at least we could eat outfield),home,friends and other social activity. my colleague had said that, "there is a time to learn and there is a time to earn." despite not having earned much, i believe i had learned much from my previous stint, especially wrt assimilating new processes, understanding human office behaviour, understanding the type of worker that i am and most importantly, work-life balance(well, it does seem that i have a certain fatal attraction to being overwork and underpaid, but that's another story altogether). i dont have to care what others think(the world is overpopulated anw) cos that will only restrain my full potential, as long as i know what i want.

so despite feeling really lazy, sleepy and abit funny in the alimentary canal, i dragged my reluctant self to meet my classmates from 2-7 at AMK despite having been there only slightly less than 2 hours ago and i nvr regretted it. effort comes in more ways than 1. :)



also met brandon and kp yesterday afternoon and amos yest evening. came to the conclusion of how shady the world we live in is. so much upselling and ripping off. and shortchanging. i think whoever started the anti-capitalist movement was probably disillusioned with reality. but as always, advocate moderation. and stay away from bad, avaricious influences. i shall not be so trusting anymore. if you cant kick ass from down here, get up there and bang all the tables. grow up, you.

stop it

As we celebrate new year after new year, donning red and exchanging mandarin oranges and red packets, how much of the symbolism and meaning of Lunar New Year has been retained in our world of instant gratification, hedonism and capitalism. What then, is the significance of the Lunar New Year?

A chance to make merry (as with all other holidays) to indulge in our Dionysian urges, feast (get fat and try for the rest of our lives to get rid of those excesses), and stop working for a couple of days all in the name of tradition? As scientific advances and technology breakthroughs forge ahead, do we still make a gigantic ruckus on NY's eve to chase away the mythological demon? Or make an attempt at not sleeping into the New Year to preserve the longevity of our parents (more like stories to instill filial piety, especially to those who are tied to mama's apon strings)? And how much does the symbolism of the red packet weigh against what is inside the exquisite red papers (i suppose some ppl will be happy when it's black if it contains a few more 0s at the end)? Why then do we wear red (new fabric at that), decorate the house with "auspicious" items (someone tell me why they are considered so), and have certain things for CNY that we normally do not have despite our rising affluence.

Somehow, all festive seasons have become lucrative tools of the service industry to commit licensed robberies, not as if prices are not rising fast enough. No offense to those in the service industry but it just feels like evil ideas of greeee-day corporations. Want bak gwa? Queue for 2 hours and i will sell you at an auspicious price of $50 per kilo, chao-tar parts included. A hassle to prepare reunion dinner? Make a reservation with us for an auspicious price of $8888 for a table of 10. (Fine print: due to overwhelming response, we cannot guarantee the quality of our food and service.)

As you can clearly see by now, im not the most festive person around but i do appreciate the chance to get together and get a glimpse of so-and-so, to catch up on one another's lives and just to huddle together to watch TV and comment on the lousy food this year cos of the lousy caterer who charged an exorbitant price just because of the festive season. Each holiday, the ingredients on the plates change but the central idea is to get together. Why then do we have to wait till the holidays to do so and get so caught up in other things through the year? Must we have a government declared PH before doing so only to suffer from bad traffic and flaring tempers of ppl who do not get offered seats just because they are crumbling under the weight of overaged toddlers(brats)?

And before we totally loose all the significance and symbolism of the Lunar New Year(the irony of such a holiday, then)and for that matter, all other major festivals, someone enlighten me on why certain things must be done in certain ways before they become a matter of going through the motion. and for that matter, before the traditions and symbols get overpowered by Marketing Execs with PhDs in sociology and human nature.



I saw the bus stop as i was walking down the overhead bridge just now. brought back memories. Having used it for over 10 years, it feels strangely alive.

it had been a hectic 2 months, with no nights and no days. only work, 14 hours a day and counting, wkends included. it had been a rewarding experience nonetheless but everything should be taken in moderation. met many new people in a short span of 2 months - funny thing is everyone had their strengths but everyone else seemed to be focusing on the other meaningless things. so weird, working relations. im sure they are just too adult to admit it. :) i wanted to test my limits and i got it - the endless late nights in NS paid off, having survived a 7-day workweek totaling 82.5 hrs and continuing the following week with equal amounts of man-hours. i think i need some pain to feel alive, some sort of fatal attraction to such...torturous jobs? and at the end of it i didnt feel relief or jubilation but just...confusion. "it's over?" i complain about work so much but i feel equally lost without something to do. Thus, this break wont last too long as before long i will be too bored. Michael Pollan said in "The Botany of Desire" that boredom arises not because of a lack of things to do but because of the human mind's protective mechanism against wonder. imagine feeling the same sense of wonder everytime you do something, as if each time was your first time. i think it would overwhelm but then perhaps it would rid the world of boredom. and that, is mankind's fascination with intoxication.

i like the feeling of suddenly putting an end to the adrenaline rush. of being able to lie on my back, damp shirt plastered against my back and the hard wooden bench. and watch the leaves of the rain tree jiggling against the vast, endless sky and feeling the cool breeze swirling on my flushed cheeks. and sensing the changing intensity of sunlight due to passing clouds, losing the notion of time as it got replaced with a gradually slowing heartbeat. i wish i could be lost in that forever but that is a luxury best left in novels and fairy tales.




Happy CNY to one and all! As we celebrate the many Christmases, New Years and Lunar New Years, and flood the network with endless SMSs (even though i dont have a habit of doing so), i'd like to take some time off to remember the many wonderful people that ive met in the past donkey years. and it is the beginning of the end of humankind as we know it??? (what did i just write?)

Work has been...terrible. Life = zilch and body feels a wreck. Looking forward to 2 Feb, hontou ni owari. it has been an eye-opening experience but i hope it doesnt translate into a general phobia of the office.

Work is unlike homework, which can and should be finished. Just when i thought i have cleared the list of things to do, at the end of the day the number of items and "action by" columns remain unchanged. only the description and "to do by" columns are in a different permutation. It's matter of knowing when to stop and what to bring home (and what not to). Why would any organisation create a position that would have discrete points in time when there would be work when pay is giving continuously? no sense. It's no wonder that some, if not many, fall into the trap of pigeon holes since the many SOPs and checklists just make it so clean and efficient. and SO much more tempting to filter it down the lane. or rather, if it kinda fits anyway cos...i cant think anymore!

and i miss all my friends from everywhere cos i havent seen anyone for a wk! :S:S:S

organising an internship reminds me of council days, less the number of people involved in the project. every little detail from liaising with interns to preparation of welcome packs (thnakfully i didnt have to weave every microfibre into a nice pocket folder) to raising service requests, and ask to arrange workstations and issuing of security passes. compile this, compile that, verify this, verify that. make sure everything is in place. book the rooms, make sure it's set up properly, get scolded for thinking that im too free to poke my nose into doing something that i was tasked to do. luckily angela was handling the higher ups so i can peacefully make all my arrangements...not. every now and then some weird thing has to crop up that really breaks the momentum of everything. call him, call her. check this, check that. make sure that the sop is followed, nothing is left out. has payment been credited....wth. just dont get why they cant employ MORE people. like MORE MORE MORE people. the last time i worked till 10 and later everyday was in camp, and that was some time ago. stayed to bind booklets that should have been DSC's job if the booklet had been cleared earlier. haiz.

whoever said NS sucks may have failed to realise that the same group of people whom you have served with will go into society with you. and the same gp of regulars who have made SAF their career choice is only treating it the same way as other people who have made their careers outside the SAF and all across we face the same attitude peculiar to Singaporeans. we used to say that our officers nit-picked, but that's only because they care and want to do the right thing. so when bosses outside do the same, what do we say abt that? dont forget that NS is transient, careers are permanent and job-hopping is not a permanent solution.

the interns better be appreciative of our efforts. some things i cant help i cant help la. duh! but ive done all i can. if i had absolute control over everything then perhaps it could have been better, but we all know otherwise.

The hypothesis of work is play:

play = money
no work = no money
therefore, work = money = play

beauty world was a audio-visual fest. glitzy costumes and tunes that reeked of the 70's and 80's with a touch of modernism. and the very well-done lulu and ivy but i thot hock lost character a few times in the first half and frankie couldnt sing so well. of course veterans neo swee lin and irene ang brought much greater dimension - their act was much better than the rest, but not too bad for the otherwise young cast. other than a few technical mishaps, i guess it ran quite well for a preview. like wendy used to say, the audience is stupid so we wont know if something didnt go quite correct, right?

work's been getting rather busy, wad with internships and tea sessions coming up on top of normal activities. guess OT rate for jan will skyrocket. but income is inversely proportional to living a life. :( i should start an investment portfolio so that i can quit and still earn a decent amt by the time im 30.

i want to visit japan before i start sch.

looking forward to meeting on 19th and ming hui's on 26. haha