clinging and movin on.

this year's NDP seemed to be tighter, with better transitions and a more personal feel to it. perhaps it is because i was away but when i watched the combined rehearsal and the actual parade, i was moved by some of the things that i saw and heard. i wasnt sure if it was the songs or the people or what but for once i was positively aware that i was proud to be singaporean. comparing what ive seen and heard to what is back here, singaporeans really have it good. sure, not everything is perfect but it's precisely because of such imperfection will we strive for change and improvement. only because we care about such things will we even bother. im amused by people who have keep yakking about migration cos i always wonder how much of it is a case of greener grass syndrome. first of all, to uproot and be planted is no trivial matter. the culture shock, system change and everything else doesnt become natural overnight. and to always complain that the government doesnt effect change...not that im pro-government or whatever it's just that i feel that massive change should be incremental and sometimes such increments are almost imperceptible. perhaps it's just me but i do feel that singapore has changed over the last 5-6 years but for better or worse, that remains to be seen.

and with that goes my first year @ Penn. i think im slipping into some kind of quarter life crisis. keep wondering what's the point of doing everything. so what if i graduate with a good degree from penn? so what if i am able to keep my bosses happy and rise quickly in the board? so what if i make good money? so what? i think if there is anything that our education system has failed in, it has failed to make us look beyond what lies beyond the set and established path. not tell us what that path is mind you, but remind us that there is life after uni. i mean, all our lives, we have been told to study hard, get into university and get a good job. the assumption here is that the job will pay well and there's no need to worry about basic needs and stuff ... so what comes after the job? Granted there's some sense in that mantra if people in the past needed to worry about their next meal but is that really enough? i still remember mr suah saying something to the extent of how boring our lives would be: Olevels, Alevels, Uni, work, get married n have kids and wait to die. i didnt think much of what he said at first but lately, this has been bugging me. ALOT. why must it be this way and why is the so called "natural" progression in life? im not ready for the great unknown that is life (i wonder how many people see it as life) after uni but i guess that's what sch is for now. it may be an excuse but it only expires in 3 years. so for this semester, i must learn to care less. and feel more.

back from bangkok. it was a nice to get away for a little while and just be consumed by another city. true the streets are slightly dirtier, the air is not as fresh but each soi and thanon just ooze such character and flavour that i wonder if we did not chase the hawkers off the streets and lumped them all in hawker centres, would we still be able to have itinerant hawkers lining the roads today?

i guess i also enjoyed the favourable exchange rate, considering the 50baht swensons and 169baht sizzler's that we nvr got ard trying. the glittering structures in the grand palace and wat phra keow with brief explanation of thailand's mythological history by san n nop. the hyperactive market that is chatuchak. various street foods, river/canal boat rides. the big room that we had, and the scams that started upon arrival at suvarnabhumi. the crazy tuktuk ride from MBK back to the hotel. the crazy jams and the high pitched nasal "kup"s. definitely can go again if visiting more wats and outside bangkok. shopping is highly overrated :)

now that im out of work, i guess i shld enjoy the last few moments that i have before it's back to the daily grind that is school....