The Clock Finally Started Ticking

Yesterday night, I gave myself my first injection. I followed all of the instructions. I washed my hands, took off the pen cap, and cleaned the top. Then I peeled the backing off the needle and attached that to the pen. I set the dial to 37.5 to prime the pen, and I pulled out, and pushed, and sure enough, my needle tip looked exactly like the picture, with the little dribble of fluid at the top.

Then I cleaned an area on my tummy below my naval. Got into position...and hesitated! All of a sudden, that needle looked awfully intimidating. I pinched the skin in position...and hesitated. Why was I being such a wimp? I can epilate my legs - ripping the hair out of my skin - with no problem at all. But putting a tiny needle into my belly freaked me out.

I took a deep breath and plunged it in....and it didn't hurt at all...I just looked at it for a few minutes before pushing the plunger and releasing the meds.

Injection #1 is over! Tonight is #2.

This morning I had yet another Day 3 u/s. I hate day 3. The full bladder drives me crazy...although when I go early enough, it's actually not that bad...I just pee a lot afterwards. Tonight I will take my first round of Gonal-F. The nurse taught me how to take the injection...it seems pretty easy, but we'll soon find out. I'll write again after I've taken the injection to report on how it goes. So, could this be my last day 3 for the next 9 + months? Fingers crossed...I just hope this works...I hope that a follicle or two grow enough to at least let me Trigger and have my first IUI. Let's get this show on the road already :)

This morning I met with Dr. D. to discuss my next steps. Starting next Wednesday, I will start Prevara once again (provided my blood tests are fine). After I finish the prevara, I will hope for a visit from AF. On Day 3, I will go in for my u/s, blood work, and to begin injections. Dr. D. thinks that the injections could work too well...here's hoping they just work. Basically, one month from now I could be on my 2ww. I don't want to get my hopes up b/c it doesn't always work the first time. But with these meds, Gonal-F, it could happen quickly.

Now, what if it's multiples. Twins would be VERY difficult, but then I'd be done! One would be perfect for me for now, money wise and taking care of...triplets would be a nightmare on my own...not to mention carrying 3 babies in my little body...but I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. All I want now is a healthy baby and pregnancy.

So, the bad news is that this cycle didn't work. I tried the Clomid 100s and I had no follicle growth. Onwards and upwards. This cycle has officially been cancelled. Now I have to meet with the doctor to review what has happened so far, and to make next steps. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to move onto injectibles. I don't exactly know what that will entail but I'm hopeful that it will not only help me to ovulate, but to increase my chances of conceiving when I do. That's it for now.

So, today I had my day 10 u/s and bloodwork... I was very hopeful that I would finally have some follicle growth. Unfortunately, there is still no follicle growth! I'm disappointed. Very disappointed. I was very hopeful that I would be having my first IUI this week, and instead it's looking like another cancelled cycle.

My RE told me that he will have me do one or two more u/s to see if there is any growth before cancelling this cycle and that he will be putting me on injectibles. He said there's no point in upping my dose of Clomid b/c I'm a "small woman" and the dose would be too much for me. So, anyone else out there have success with injectibles when Clomid didn't work?

I am just disappointed. ..I mean, I'm not even able to go through the 2ww b/c I can't even get my follicles to grow and ovuate...and, I've been thinking really happy, growing follicle thoughts :) I guess the power of suggestion and positive thinking doesn't always help.

Moving on...hopefully the injectibles will work :)