A Sense of Humor is Essential

Here are some pictures of my best four legged buddies, Abigail, our Manx cat and the dog, Charles Barkley aka Charley Barley. They love each other and provide each other with amusement and in the case of the cat, much annoyance too! Best to you and your loved ones with wet noses and warm fur.


Abigail and Charley napping together.





Abigail loves her little brother and newest toy, Charley.



Abigail says, "Talk to the tush".

600 dogs participated in the Long Beach Dog Halloween Costume Parade last weekend. I just love this little fella with his chariot complete with Ken doll.

Please check out Lalist for more cute dogs in embarrassing costumes. Thank you!

Hello on a Monday and hoping it's a perfect day for you and yours.
I incorrectly typed out Perfecto and I went with it because I like how it sounds. Plus, I am very fond of slang for some reason...
We took the boys to Lombardi Ranch to pick out pumpkins yesterday. It was a beautiful Sunday and I just enjoyed our time together. I hope you like the pictures, you can tell the weather is just awful here is SoCal. Just kidding, the weather is so freaking nice here, it's Boring. Thank you for stopping by, I appreciate it.

Hello and I hope you are doing well. It's been weird here the last couple days where I find myself wondering about human nature and the meaning of it all. A couple of things have triggered this including a pipe bomb was found at a city park 4 miles from our home. This is a park where the boys have played soccer. Unbelievable but I have to believe it. I am so thankful no one was hurt, not the city maintenance worker who found the bomb or the Sheriffs who responded and detonated the bomb safely.

I am also so saddened by the senseless, preventable suicide of a 14 y/o boy who was bullied at an area high school. What a nightmare, my heart breaks for his family and friends and I want them to know they are not alone. My husband and I are going to talk to our sons about this to help them understand. Suicide is among the top 5 causes of death among boys aged 11 to 24 years old. What a crazy, f'ing world we live in.

I am going to hug my children, treat my family and friends, (neighbors and strangers too), with a fierce love that belies all the hatred and vitriol in the world. Thank you.

My cousin and I enjoyed our hike at Hart Park, not only for the fresh air, exercise, and visiting the Bison herd (I will post pictures about them soon), we also got to see the great Frights from the Haunt Festival held last weekend. In the land of underemployed set decorators, holiday decorations can get waaay over the top here. I have a neighbor who belongs to CalHaunts and his house is worthy of the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland! I hope you enjoy and that you have fun getting ready for Halloween too!

I love this picture of our two sons with their cousin in downtown Cambria, CA. Cousins are great, a bond like siblings without the rivalry. I went on a hike with my cousin today, I'm thankful she's in my life. Best to you and your extended family, especially the ones you can call a friend.

Sometimes recommending a book to someone can be like setting a friend up with a blind date. Well, maybe not that bad, but you get the idea. You feel a personal sense of responsibility if they don’t like the book. So in addition to Will (as in Shakespeare), all of our dear Miss Jane Austen’s writings, and A.A. Milne’s complete Winnie the Pooh, here are some other books that shape my world. (Also, I have included an abbreviated book summary. Very abbreviated, Ernest Hemingway would be proud.)


Books about Health and Healing:

“A Different Kind of Health” by Blair Justice – Doing something good for someone else can make you healthier.

“The Dance of Anger”, “The Dance of Intimacy” by H.Lerner-Goldhor – These books helped save my life during some very dark times.

Interior Design:

“Feng Shui with What You Have” by Spurill and Watson – Clutter equals stress and chaos, surround yourself with things that bring you joy.

Great Business Books:

“How to Swim with the Sharks” by Harvey McKay – Little things don’t mean a lot, they mean Everything.

“Strategic Selling” by Miller, Heiman, and Tuleja - People are only motivated to buy to seek pleasure, reduce pain.


A Damned Good Read:

“Pillars of the Earth” by Ken Follet - Cathedral building in the Middle Ages and you will not be able to put it down, I kid you not.


Spirituality:

“Man and His Symbols” by Carl Jung – The Collective Unconscious will be blow your mind and expand your perception of the human experience. Just the pictures alone in this book are fascinating and intriguing.

“The Way of the Sufi” – Short, sweet stories on living a mindful life from 2000 years ago.

“The Zen of Martial Arts” by Joe Hyams – There is strength in flexibility, power in yielding.


Thank you for checking out what’s on my bookshelf, and I would love to hear about any good books that you enjoy.

I have never been one to pay attention to politics or watch much TV (except Project Runway and Hell's Kitchen), but I am becoming a CNN and MSNBC addict. Am I the only one who thinks John King, National Correspondent for CNN is kinda Hot?

Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act (House of Representatives) Bill H.R.5979

Preventing Stillbirth and Sudden Unknown Infant Death Act (Senate) Senate Act 3142

Today, October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. Please take three minutes out of your day to help create a change for good. You can go to your local phone book and there you will find the listing to call your State's Representatives and Senators in our U.S. Congress to pass these bills. You can make a difference for so many families. One phone call is the equivalent of 10,000 voters. Thank you for taking the time to care.

"Knowledge isn't Power, Action is Power."

Los Angeles is on fire in the Fall once again. What makes it so beautiful here is what makes it so dangerous. This is the Faustian bargain we make for living in paradise and despoiling it all at the same time. The combination of the dry, whipping Santa Ana winds that act like flame throwers and the tinder and fuel of our mountains has created two firestorms, one approximately 12 miles to the southeast and another approximately 7 miles southwest of our home in Northern Los Angeles county. The loud thumping of the “Super Scooper” Water Tanker aircraft was heard non stop yesterday as the planes flew between the fire and Castaic Lake to refill their water tanks. It is extraordinarily dangerous work to fly in these winds and through the mountain passes and intense smoke.

It is almost one year to the day that we were ready to evacuate with the wildfires two miles away and the air and sky was filled with smoke, ash, and flame. Last fall, my parents left their home in North San Diego for a week while the fire raged one block away from their house. They were spared any damage beyond ash clean up and a broken fence. The psychological damage is a totally different issue of course. It’s a balancing act between accepting the unquestionable power of Mother Nature, whether it’s an earthquake, wildfire, or rip current, and trying to maintain as much control as possible by being vigilant and prepared. Control can be such an illusion.

It’s eerie here actually; it is a beautiful, cloudless, crystal blue sky day with no smoke or ash. The fire is on the other side of the mountains from our valley and the powerful Santa Ana winds are pushing the smoke away from us. The “Fire Jumpers” as they call the pilots who fight fires are back at work today.

I would appreciate your good thoughts and prayers to all those dealing with the fires; my friends, neighbors, and our firefighters and first responders. Also for the four legged friends who are affected by the fire; pets, livestock, and our beautiful wildlife who also suffer greatly.

Thank you.



“Fire is the test of gold; adversity, of strong men.” Martha Graham, dancer

Overall, it was a great weekend in San Luis Obispo with my husband’s extended family. The Bride and Groom who celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary are delightful people and the party was wonderful. To see the love of this family is to see love and caring “in action”. It is a really great branch of the family tree.

This weekend there were neutral moments such as no drama with the SILs which I attribute to everyone being on their best behavior and therapeutic drug levels. Imperfect moments, when my DH and I had “words”, (lots of words, actually), which is unusual for us, but we got through it. And yes, quite a few perfect moments –

- Feeling my heart fill with love during the renewal of our cousins’ wedding vows.
- Becoming overcome with emotion along with the Bride when her Groom presented her with a hope chest he made and filled with letters from all of their children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.
- Watching my son stand up on a surfboard for the first time.
- Seeing our puppy play in the ocean for the first time.
- Cherishing the sight of our older niece walking in the middle of our two boys with their arms thrown across each others shoulders.
- Looking at the reflection of the bright moon on the ocean.
- Feeling forgiveness from my DH and for my DH.
- Arriving home safe and sound to our quiet house and sweet cat.

Thank you for sharing in my perfect and not so perfect moments. I hope the scales of perfect moments tips in your favor today and everyday.

I am in the throes of packing up including the dog to spend the weekend in San Luis Obispo on the Central Coast of California. We are attending a celebration of my husband’s cousins’ 50th wedding anniversary. It will be great to spend time with family, well, except maybe not my whack-a-doodle SILs who keep the psychopharmacology business prospering.
I send my best to everyone for a wonderful weekend. Happy Thanksgiving to my dear Canadian friends this Sunday.

from lalist.com

One of the many things I enjoy about working with patients and families all over the U.S.A. as a nurse is the exposure to multiple cultures.

I do appreciate others’ expression of their personal history whether it’s the international pot luck in the break room during the holidays (Delicioso!) or speaking in Patois French to a Haitian patient in the Emergency Room. It can be a challenge too, when you have to tell the laboring mom that burning incense is not allowed in her room due to fire risk with all the flammable gases piped in and floating around.


I have worked in many different communities including the Midwest, North and South Florida, and California. (Talk about different languages!) Midwesterners have a vocabulary all their own, “Pop” instead of Soda? Are you kidding me?
In the Southern U.S., Ya’ll is noun, verb, adjective, you name it. A true Southerner can conjugate the word.
In my home State of California, “Dude” and “Like” are the overused exclamations for all seasons and occasions. You crash your skateboard, “Dude?” Your dog is lost, “Duude”. Your homies (friends) are treating you bad, “Dude”. Your dog is found! “DUDE!!!!” Dude seems more the province of the men folk below the age of 25 y/o in California, but Like, ah well, that’s the girl’s specialty. “Like, Omigod! I was like, I hated like everything, like everything like my mother picked out, it’s like, LIKE, I can’t like stand, Like I mean like Totally, LIKE Cannot Stand like anything she like got at Fred Segel, like, it’s like, OMIGOD, like just give me the Like Black AmEx and Like Drop Me off like there! Like, She is so, like Oh like, Puhleeze, Like, Like, Out of It”. (I apologize if I caused you to go cross eyed or lower your I.Q.)

In my job I work with patients and families over the telephone or through email exclusively, sometimes from thousands of miles away. We use a translation service to provide an interpreter so we can talk with our patients who are not fluent in English. Spanish is the language which I most frequently use a translator. I can understand some “Spanglish” based on my study of French, Latin, and by virtue of living in Los Angeles where it is ubiquitous. (Sometimes, even when English is the primary language, an interpreter might be helpful. The author,George Bernard Shaw said English is a common language separated by two people meaning the English and Americans, but I think this is just as true for Americans trying to communicate with other Americans.)


Yesterday, I worked with Mien interpreter for the first time. I had never heard of this language. It is spoken in southern China, northern Laos, Thailand, and Vietnam.

My fondest memory of how humans communicate with each other across language and culture is when I used a Thai translator last spring.
I was having a good discussion with the patient using the translator and addressing some concerns. I asked a question to which the person gave a lengthy and obviously detailed answer. I had to chuckle when the translator gave me the reply, “No”.

It’s ironic to me at times, I feel I am better with the interpreter, that it gives me more time to listen and reflect on the person’s response including tone of voice and expression.
I really appreciate the insight and healthy examination of my culture, biases, and beliefs in my work. I have also learned we all have culture, not necessarily “exotic”, but so telling of our personal history. I really enjoy the wide diversity of my friends and acquaintances whether they be from the Philippines or Philadelphia.

Thank you for “listening” and I would be delighted if you share some of your own unique culture or of someone else who you met or touched you.

I have been tagged for my First Meme. I’m such a blognaramous, is this short for Memoir? Who wants to know about someone else’s quirks? Well, apparently flickrlovr and Kimbosue want to know 7 quirks about me and a host of other unsuspecting bloggers. So in the spirit of being a good sport, here are 7 quirky things about me. Yippee skippee, please contain your excitement.

I sit on a 55 cm fitness ball at my work desk.

I hate slimy things on my hands like peanut butter or slugs, ugh.

I can’t eat cheap chocolate even though I adore chocolate.

I love a good mechanical pencil.

I meditate before I start my work day.

I have never been stung by a bee despite spending a lot of time outdoors.

Roses that have no scent annoy me.

I don’t plan to tag anyone, because this tagging thing is a little toooo much like a chain letter which I never forward. If you want to play along, great, please comment and let me know your quirks too. If not, well, that’s just ducky too, please feel free to mock mine mercilessly.

I send my best to you for your endearing quirks.

Thank you for stopping by this Monday and sharing in a few Perfect Moments I enjoyed this past week. I really appreciate the blogger, Lori who introduced me to this and have found it to be a very mindful and rewarding exercise. For me, Perfect Moments not only include moments of joy and happiness, but contentment, clarity, and connection. These moments remind me of my humanity, ground me in the present, and give me perspective and empathy. Well, in spite of such a big and profound introduction, these moments were small things that meant so much. (Funny, it really is the small things.)

The first moment was a realization or “A-ha!!” Our family lives in a very pedestrian friendly neighborhood with shaded walkways or “paseos” where folks are out jogging or walking their dogs all times of the day and night. This includes yours truly walking our puppy, Charley. We see the “Regulars” on our walks, my neighbor with her King Charles spaniel, my friend with his French Mastiff (aka “Our Little Pony” at 180 lbs) and an older couple whose wife is wheelchair bound. I frequently see this older couple, a fit older gentleman pushing his wife in a wheelchair with their terrier trotting alongside them. The wife is frail and debilitated, but looks well cared for. I used to feel sorry for them, her at her physical plight, and he with the task of looking after her. Last week, our dogs stopped to socialize and we chatted. That brief exchange opened my eyes and heart that I was so, so wrong. This couple does not deserve my pity, but my appreciation and admiration for showing me this is what wedding vows look like in action. Also, caregivers not only give, but he too also receives much from his wife. Even though, my husband and I have been married for over fourteen years, I’m still learning everyday “on the job”.


The next perfect moment occurred when I opened a birthday gift from our niece. She is in her first year of college and also an excellent knitter, just like my Grandma Rose, her Great – Grandmother. I have never been lucky enough to get any of my niece’s handiwork, so I was thrilled to get these beautifully crafted socks in my favorite color for my birthday. It means so much to me, especially in light of how busy she is.


The last perfect moment I would like to share was when I heard our youngest son practice his piano. He is preparing for a recital and just got his music. When I heard him tentatively but most clearly start to play the opening notes of “Over the Rainbow”, my heart seized up. This song means so much to me and to hear him play gave me an immense feeling of appreciation and gratitude for my family and my life. His enjoyment, discipline, dedication to his art just all came crashing into my heart and spirit, that I could physically feel it.

Thank you for allowing me to share these small moments that touched me so deeply. I wish you the best today and everyday.

Sorrow is like a precious treasure, shown only to friends.

African Proverb

Today for Show and Tell, I would like to share how fate and circumstance can touch and heal lives, including my own.

This past week, I was visiting a blog newly discovered during International Comment Leaving Week. Cara is a mother of three daughters including her firstborn, Emma born still eight years ago. Cara lives in a rural part of the United States with minimal resources for parents whose baby has died. In response to this need, Cara has been preparing a proposal to start an Infant Loss Bereavement and Support Group at her local hospital chartered by the National Share Organization. Cara posted about her endeavors and requested input on her proposal. (I don’t think she knows what she signed up for when she very innocently emailed me her draft proposal.) I asked her permission if she wanted my professional nursing and clinical managerial spin on it and she was kind enough (or a little crazy?) to allow me to provide feedback. I am very proud of Cara and my contribution to her efforts in caring for her community. She honors her family and all the lost babies, including mine.

This effort also reinforced how important it is to me that no parent suffers from a lack of support and sensitivity like I did after my own miscarriage seventeen years ago. I am glad to be part of this blogging community and even more so, humbled to be given the opportunity to honor and remember my own lost little one.

Post Script Sunday morning: I just took the dog for a walk on a glorious, sunny, cool morning and an Orange Monarch butterfly crossed our path. A coincidence? I think not. Thank you.

My friend, Kathy and I attended a Charity luncheon "Bras for a Cause" to benefit breast cancer research. It was a fun fashion show with a delicious lunch held at Mountaingate Country Club in Los Angeles. Another dear friend, Donna is a 7 year breast cancer survivor and helped organize this event. I am privileged to support her and delighted she is considered cured. I thought you all might enjoy some photos showing the bras that are auctioned off to raise money.


Here's a favorite, the Tequila Shooter Bra! Talk about well equipped for any Fiesta!


I totally love this Plumber's Bra complete with Hot and Cold Water Faucets!


What woman doesn't want to be Wonder Woman with matching skirt and cape?


I found this Garden Bra to be inspiring, the inscription on the rock reads, "The Earth Laughs in Flowers". So true.


Here's a picture of yours truly with my buddy, Kathy. Thank goodness for girlfriends IRL or in Blogland!

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, so please check the "girls" and don't forget the boob taco press aka Mammograms! Okay, that's it for my public service announcement. Sending my best to you and please let me know which bra you like. Thanks so much.

Thank you all so much for your birthday wishes. I really appreciate it. I had a wonderful day both at work and with the family. Last night we went out to a Chinese restaurant with a creative menu that we all enjoy. My family was extremely generous with their gifts and attention, truly a great day. It was wonderful to get phone calls and cards from my extended family wishing me a Happy Birthday.

Birthdays are beautiful and bittersweet. How much I miss the one card and phone call I won't be getting this year and haven't for the last 24 years since my brother, J died. We were very close, both in age and friendship. He gave me unconditional love and I didn't realize it until he was gone. I miss him terribly and I work hard to keep his love and memories with me and alive. My family talks of him openly and lovingly, he will always be a part of my life and family. My children ask about him and also know about him through our stories and pictures.
I honor and remember him on my birthday because I'm blessed to live the life that he was denied. He is with me still and I thank you for allowing me to share my sweet sadness with you.