Hey y'all! I never blog anymore. But, I had some down time at work (which is rare) and randomly remembered that I had a blog. lol So, here goes.
When I last blogged, I was still dealing with the loss of my aunt. This Christmas will make the second one since she's been gone and it's still weird with her not being here. But, the family and I are healing and moving forward. I do worry about her husband. She was his everything (and vice versa) and I don't think he'll ever totally heal from her loss.
Last year, I also took control of my health and lost a total of 50 lbs by doing keto. After I hit the 50 lb mark, I took a break from being strict about my eating and... gained back about 15 lbs. #wompwomp At first, I was upset with myself but I've gotten over it and thought... hey, life happened. I'm back on track and have lost a total of 37 lbs... I have 26 lbs. to go and I'm hoping to get there by the end of May, in prep for a trip to the Grand Canyon.
I moved back to the Austin area in February and it's been one of the best things for me for a number of reasons:
I did an Austin based leadership training program from January- June and in July, I became Co-Director of that same org. Serving in this org has been a LOT of work and at times, I'm not sure it's worth it, but I'm thankful for the opportunity.
I also got a new job, which I started back in July. I'm still working in the education field. The best things about the job are the pay increase and the increased responsibility (in that order). And really the increased responsibility because I can use this as leverage for the next job. Every day that I come to work, I am reminded that this is a temporary stop but for now, I'm ok where I am. That being said, I've really been anxious to work for myself. It's something that's been on my mind for years and I truly feel like that's the only route to live the type of life that I want. I just need to move forward boldly. I've made baby steps, but never really been bold.
After moving back to Austin, I went to happy hour w/ one of my Spelman sisters and she encouraged me to do online dating. I'd never done it before (well, except for College Club back in the day) and only heard negative things about it. However, she loved it and suggested I treat it "like the guys do," as just for fun and that my only goal should be to go on one date a week. So, I took that approach and met several cool guys and always met my goal of at least one date per week. But, after a while, I got tired of it and one night decided that I'd take a break from the apps (Bumble and Tinder), starting the next day. I was bored and opened up one of the apps, matched with a man and well, the rest is history. We've been inseparable ever since. He lights up my life in a way that I didn't think was possible. It's the most amazing thing to be in love and be loved the way I want to be loved. For a while, I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop and well, it hasn't happened. Of course, we've had our share of disagreements but nothing that made me second guess the choice to be together. It's made me realize that while it's important to be cautious, I also need to release these negative mindsets around what is possible for me. Having a healthy and happy relationship is not outside the realm of possibility and I get to experienced it daily.
I'm thinking about buying a house. Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm going to make the leap. For the past month or so, we've been taking the first steps to make it happen and last weekend, we went to look at houses. It kinda felt like an out of body experience. At one time, I thought owning a home just wasn't something I'd be able to do because of my massive student loan debt. But, it turns out, I was wrong. Pre-approval was easy and I can totally afford it. Again, I'm learning to release these mindsets about what is possible for me.
Anyway, I think that's all for now... Hopefully it won't be anther year before I blog again. Until next time...
12.10.2018
8.30.2017
still alive and well!
I'm writing this post from a coffee shop in Austin. I came here last Thursday because I had a bad feeling about Hurricane Harvey... a very unsettled feeling. I couldn't really put my finger on why, especially since I live in a suburb of Houston that's pretty far north (I joke to people that I might as well live in Dallas), so by all accounts, I should have been minimally impacted by the storm. But, I listened to my intuition and asked a friend if I could stay with her for the weekend. Fully expecting that I would get back on the road on Sunday afternoon, feeling a little sheepish because my worry had all been naught. Well, if you've been watching the news, then you know my worry was not all for nothing. From what I can tell the area immediately surrounding my apartment is ok, which means my second floor apartment is probably still intact. Which is really a miracle given that I saw pictures from a home five minutes away from my apartment, where a family had to be rescued from the roof of their home. The storm came in and wreaked havoc over the entire Houston area, which is no easy feat given how sprawling the metro area is. Right now, I'm thankful for the means to leave the Houston area and a place to stay that's very comfortable, but I'm also tired and ready to go back home. I'm hoping that I can go back this Friday.
On the first day of summer, one of my beloved aunts passed away unexpectedly. She was such a loving, vibrant ray of light in our family and the fact that she's not on this earth anymore has really thrown me off my axis. Well, it's thrown off the whole family. My aunt was the eldest of my grandparent's children and she had a way of connecting with all of her siblings, as well as me and my siblings. While she and her husband didn't have any children, she was like a mother to so many in our family. It still feels like a mistake... a glitch in the matrix... that she's not here all because of complications from pneumonia.
Her death and now this storm have really caused me to think more about the impact I want to have on this world. Well, I've always thought about this, but tbh, for the past few years, I haven't focused on it as much. Two years ago, I started a job that had very little impact on my local community... (prior to that, I'd worked for organizations that were rooted in the community in which I resided). My job also allowed me to work from home (which I really appreciate) with a great deal of flexibility regarding work hours. The biggest downside to that, though, is I feel very disconnected from the greater Houston area, especially when it comes to education, which is the field I work in. (This would probably be true if I lived in another city, but it's even more acute given the sprawling nature of the city.) While I see my current job as important, I don't feel like I'm making the impact I want to have. Over the past month or so, those feelings have intensified. I still get things done, but my heart isn't in it anymore. We've also experienced some changes within our team and I'm just over it all. All of that, plus the fact that it became very clear that opportunities to move up at my current employer are slim to none. So, I started exploring local job opportunities.
I found a position that seemed like a perfect fit and applied for it. About a month ago, I had my first interview. It went well and the interviewer/search consultant told me the next step was to schedule a conversation with me and the newly appointed Executive Director. The consultant was out of town getting her kids set up at college, so the process slowed. I followed up and she assured me that she'd be in touch to schedule a second conversation. And then Harvey happened. So, we're stalled again, for good reasons, of course. At the start of this month, I had a feeling that I'd be moving into a new role in the near future. I'm still holding on to that feeling because my intuition rarely fails me... the timeline for how and when it happens just may not look like I expected.
In the midst of that, I'm continuing to pursue an idea about creating a mentoring program for women of color who are first generation college students, where they are mentored by professional women of color. Essentially, I want to create a way for students to connect with women who look like them, have been where they are, and have successfully made it to the other side. I was a first generation college student and looking back, having a mentor would have been incredibly helpful. So, I want to create a space for others to have what I didn't have. In the spring, I was selected to receive a fellowship to flesh out my idea so I can test the concept. I was supposed to go to New Orleans to work on my idea, but the storm has made that impossible. Thankfully, there are other opportunities in the fall, so all is not lost.
This year has also been about getting my health in order. I have a few chronic conditions that my weight was exacerbating. Namely, my blood pressure. As I have mentioned on this blog, my mother passed due to issues related to unchecked blood pressure (that and she didn't have consistent access to health care), which led to her leaving this world at the age of 43. I'll be 35 this year and the thought of having only 8 years left was unsettling. So, I've adapted a low carb high fat diet (not keto... but pretty close to it) and so far, I've lost about 40 pounds! My goal is 53 lbs and I'm glad to be sooo close to my goal. :-) I'm hoping to meet my goal by my birthday, so I can go on my birthday vacation (to Puerto Rico!) in peace. My blood pressure is slowly decreasing... still not as low as I'd like, but I'm not on medication, so if I just stay focused, I feel confident that it'll go down as well.
until next time...
On the first day of summer, one of my beloved aunts passed away unexpectedly. She was such a loving, vibrant ray of light in our family and the fact that she's not on this earth anymore has really thrown me off my axis. Well, it's thrown off the whole family. My aunt was the eldest of my grandparent's children and she had a way of connecting with all of her siblings, as well as me and my siblings. While she and her husband didn't have any children, she was like a mother to so many in our family. It still feels like a mistake... a glitch in the matrix... that she's not here all because of complications from pneumonia.
Her death and now this storm have really caused me to think more about the impact I want to have on this world. Well, I've always thought about this, but tbh, for the past few years, I haven't focused on it as much. Two years ago, I started a job that had very little impact on my local community... (prior to that, I'd worked for organizations that were rooted in the community in which I resided). My job also allowed me to work from home (which I really appreciate) with a great deal of flexibility regarding work hours. The biggest downside to that, though, is I feel very disconnected from the greater Houston area, especially when it comes to education, which is the field I work in. (This would probably be true if I lived in another city, but it's even more acute given the sprawling nature of the city.) While I see my current job as important, I don't feel like I'm making the impact I want to have. Over the past month or so, those feelings have intensified. I still get things done, but my heart isn't in it anymore. We've also experienced some changes within our team and I'm just over it all. All of that, plus the fact that it became very clear that opportunities to move up at my current employer are slim to none. So, I started exploring local job opportunities.
I found a position that seemed like a perfect fit and applied for it. About a month ago, I had my first interview. It went well and the interviewer/search consultant told me the next step was to schedule a conversation with me and the newly appointed Executive Director. The consultant was out of town getting her kids set up at college, so the process slowed. I followed up and she assured me that she'd be in touch to schedule a second conversation. And then Harvey happened. So, we're stalled again, for good reasons, of course. At the start of this month, I had a feeling that I'd be moving into a new role in the near future. I'm still holding on to that feeling because my intuition rarely fails me... the timeline for how and when it happens just may not look like I expected.
In the midst of that, I'm continuing to pursue an idea about creating a mentoring program for women of color who are first generation college students, where they are mentored by professional women of color. Essentially, I want to create a way for students to connect with women who look like them, have been where they are, and have successfully made it to the other side. I was a first generation college student and looking back, having a mentor would have been incredibly helpful. So, I want to create a space for others to have what I didn't have. In the spring, I was selected to receive a fellowship to flesh out my idea so I can test the concept. I was supposed to go to New Orleans to work on my idea, but the storm has made that impossible. Thankfully, there are other opportunities in the fall, so all is not lost.
This year has also been about getting my health in order. I have a few chronic conditions that my weight was exacerbating. Namely, my blood pressure. As I have mentioned on this blog, my mother passed due to issues related to unchecked blood pressure (that and she didn't have consistent access to health care), which led to her leaving this world at the age of 43. I'll be 35 this year and the thought of having only 8 years left was unsettling. So, I've adapted a low carb high fat diet (not keto... but pretty close to it) and so far, I've lost about 40 pounds! My goal is 53 lbs and I'm glad to be sooo close to my goal. :-) I'm hoping to meet my goal by my birthday, so I can go on my birthday vacation (to Puerto Rico!) in peace. My blood pressure is slowly decreasing... still not as low as I'd like, but I'm not on medication, so if I just stay focused, I feel confident that it'll go down as well.
until next time...
11.04.2016
I'm still here!
*blows dust off blog*
Houston, Houston, Houston... this city wears me out. Every time I think I can get used to being here, something happens to remind this isn't my final stop. A few weeks ago, I renewed my lease through 2017. Deep down, I know it's the smart thing to do so I can save money and focus on where I really want to be, but I wasn't at all excited about staying. I even have a countdown on my phone to until the end of my lease. smh...
Being an adult is tiring. Lately, I've been dealing with a minor health issue and it's been one big headache. I was referred to a doctor who insisted on performing an in-office procedure in the hospital... with all the costs associated with that. When all and said was done, I would have been responsible for over $1000... for what should have been an in office procedure. Needless to say, that was cancelled. So, today, I went to see another doctor who would be able to do the procedure in office next week. The only thing that I didn't like is that he moved so quickly... barely taking time to answer questions. He wrote me a prescription for an antibiotic without first asking if I had any allergies (I do.) My impression of him is that he knows how to do his job well, but needs someone to slow him down. With the exception of one doctor, my experiences with medical professionals this past year have been sorely lacking. It really makes me miss Austin. It feels like the focus is on money and not quality relationships. This is true for everything here, not just doctors. The size of the city makes things challenging and I feel like I'm consistently trying to figure it out.
Shortly after my doctor's appointment, I discovered an issue with my toll account. Long story short, the company stopped sending me statements and texts to let me know my account balance was low. I'd put money on the account and since I wasn't receiving texts, I thought what I had in my account was covering things since I rarely use the toll road. Turns out I was very mistaken! I just paid so much money back to the cities of Houston and Austin that it makes my stomach hurt. The thing that stings the most is the toll balances were nominal... it's the violation fees that got me. I really don't understand how it's legal for a company to charge $11 fee for a toll that's less than $2. I spoke with a customer service rep about why I wasn't receiving email statements or texts and he wasn't helpful. According to him, the system shows that they were sent. He even had the nerve to imply that my cell service was causing me to miss the texts. Smh... The only bright side to this is that I had the money to address the problem. There was a time not too long ago where those statements would have just sat there because I couldn't pay them at all.
My experience here is making me think that my next move might be to a small town... maybe even a rural area. I used to thrive in big cities and now they wear me out. I know that I'm in Houston for a reason, so I'm trying to stay attentive to what those reasons are... sometimes I feel like it's so I finally understand that Houston is not for me. Hopefully there's more to it than that, though. :-)
My birthday is next week and I don't have any plans. At first, I was gung ho about checking into a nice B&B and relaxing, until I realized that the places I wanted to go are in college football towns, so going there over the weekend is out of the question. So, so far, I've booked a facial and I'm planning to take the day off work.
Most importantly, though, I want to reflect on my plans for the new year. This past year has been about change and boy, has it been tough. Great in some ways, but also sooo hard. My sense is that the next year will be about change as well, but this time, I'm hoping it's less challenging. I had a solar return chart reading a few weeks ago and an intuitive channeling/reading the other day and whew! So much of what was shared and discussed resonated with me: putting myself out there more, getting more comfortable with being vulnerable, healing some past hurts. So, basically, lots of self work. I'm ready for it, though.
Until next time...
Houston, Houston, Houston... this city wears me out. Every time I think I can get used to being here, something happens to remind this isn't my final stop. A few weeks ago, I renewed my lease through 2017. Deep down, I know it's the smart thing to do so I can save money and focus on where I really want to be, but I wasn't at all excited about staying. I even have a countdown on my phone to until the end of my lease. smh...
Being an adult is tiring. Lately, I've been dealing with a minor health issue and it's been one big headache. I was referred to a doctor who insisted on performing an in-office procedure in the hospital... with all the costs associated with that. When all and said was done, I would have been responsible for over $1000... for what should have been an in office procedure. Needless to say, that was cancelled. So, today, I went to see another doctor who would be able to do the procedure in office next week. The only thing that I didn't like is that he moved so quickly... barely taking time to answer questions. He wrote me a prescription for an antibiotic without first asking if I had any allergies (I do.) My impression of him is that he knows how to do his job well, but needs someone to slow him down. With the exception of one doctor, my experiences with medical professionals this past year have been sorely lacking. It really makes me miss Austin. It feels like the focus is on money and not quality relationships. This is true for everything here, not just doctors. The size of the city makes things challenging and I feel like I'm consistently trying to figure it out.
Shortly after my doctor's appointment, I discovered an issue with my toll account. Long story short, the company stopped sending me statements and texts to let me know my account balance was low. I'd put money on the account and since I wasn't receiving texts, I thought what I had in my account was covering things since I rarely use the toll road. Turns out I was very mistaken! I just paid so much money back to the cities of Houston and Austin that it makes my stomach hurt. The thing that stings the most is the toll balances were nominal... it's the violation fees that got me. I really don't understand how it's legal for a company to charge $11 fee for a toll that's less than $2. I spoke with a customer service rep about why I wasn't receiving email statements or texts and he wasn't helpful. According to him, the system shows that they were sent. He even had the nerve to imply that my cell service was causing me to miss the texts. Smh... The only bright side to this is that I had the money to address the problem. There was a time not too long ago where those statements would have just sat there because I couldn't pay them at all.
My experience here is making me think that my next move might be to a small town... maybe even a rural area. I used to thrive in big cities and now they wear me out. I know that I'm in Houston for a reason, so I'm trying to stay attentive to what those reasons are... sometimes I feel like it's so I finally understand that Houston is not for me. Hopefully there's more to it than that, though. :-)
My birthday is next week and I don't have any plans. At first, I was gung ho about checking into a nice B&B and relaxing, until I realized that the places I wanted to go are in college football towns, so going there over the weekend is out of the question. So, so far, I've booked a facial and I'm planning to take the day off work.
Most importantly, though, I want to reflect on my plans for the new year. This past year has been about change and boy, has it been tough. Great in some ways, but also sooo hard. My sense is that the next year will be about change as well, but this time, I'm hoping it's less challenging. I had a solar return chart reading a few weeks ago and an intuitive channeling/reading the other day and whew! So much of what was shared and discussed resonated with me: putting myself out there more, getting more comfortable with being vulnerable, healing some past hurts. So, basically, lots of self work. I'm ready for it, though.
Until next time...
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