Everyday Life

Last night, after the rain, the girls wanted to go play in the puddles. So Adi put on her boots and went splashing.

She jumped into that mud puddle over and over again!

The bigger the jump....

The bigger the SPLASH!!!

Poor Audrey didn't have rain boots.

And she wasn't too crazy about the mud on her toes. She kept saying, "di-ty" and picking up her feet!

But the "di-t" didn't seem to bother Adilyn.

She had a blast!

Thank you Lord for the wonderful rain and these beautiful girls so full of life.

I read this scripture the other day and immediately thought, "Yes! That is exactly it!" You see, I've been struggling lately with the fact that I know my God can heal Cade. He has the power. No denying it! The human side of me wants to stay 'realistic' and know that at least medically speaking, what we are facing. Our doctors are smart men who know what they are doing and cannot deny the 'facts' they are seeing. So how do I maintain the balance? How can I believe with all my heart that God can and will heal Cade and make everything alright? But still believe what these wonderful men of medicine are telling us about the grim prognosis for our little guy? Well, I think this scripture says it all. I do know and have full faith that God has the power and will use it. But even if He does not I will not turn my back on God and deny His goodness and power. Great is His faithfullness! Even if He does not choose to heal my child so that we can live life the way we pictured it, does not mean God has turned his back on me. God will heal Cade. It may be on this earth for us all to see the wonder of our awesome God. Or it may be when Cade gets to heaven. I just can't wait to see my perfect angel. Some day.

Though we are in the biggest drought Texas has seen in many many years, the rain is falling. The storm is huge and strong and the rains are pouring. So are the tears. Somehow I have to be thankful for the rain. The rain is sent from God above and can do amazing things. It cleanses, washes, makes new, and brings new life. Right now I can not see what is in front of me because the rain is coming down so incredibly hard. I'm just trying to trust and walk the path that is in front of me. Am I mad at God for bringing the rain? Absolutely not. Do I have unanswered questions? Sure. The rain is messing up my plans. I had plans for beautiful sunny days full of happiness and joy. But I cannot be angry at God for sending the rain. I know that when the storm ceases, I will get to see the rainbow. The beautiful, colorful, prominent rainbow. Displayed proudly in the sky for all to see the sign of God's promise to us.

I wanted to share this beautiful song that has touched me in so many ways. There are days I just want to wake up and this all be just a bad dream. I still cannot believe it is happening, but this song puts words to so much of what I am feeling at this moment. My favorite line is "I will praise the One who's chosen me to carry you." As I try with all my might to praise Him, I so don't want to be the one He has chosen. But just as I type those words, my heart says I would not trade being Cade's mommy for anything in this world.

We have been waiting on the results of our amnio since Thursday. The "preliminary testing" results were to test to see if there were three chromosomes of either #13, #18, or #21 chromosome. The facility in Ft. Worth called this morning to tell us that the results from this particular test indicated that there were the appropriate number of these three specific chromosomes. It will take a little longer to get the more detailed testing results. My understanding of the rest of the testing is that they look under a microscope at all 46 chromosomes to see if any significant piece of the chromosome is missing or if there is an extra piece attached to one chromosome. This means that Cade is either missing a large piece of information or is getting too much information which is causing his anatomical problems.

I'm not sure how I feel about this information. Although I don't want to have a child with a trisomy, it was an answer to part of the "what" questions we have. But, we'll just have to see what else comes of the testing. I know God does not always give us answers to our questions. Having a "diagnosis" will probably not change anything we do for Cade but just answer more questions we have about the future. Still, we rest in the peace that passes all understanding.