Cricket's Corner

As we age and grow we learn life lessons from many people along the way......Friends, relatives and sometimes complete strangers. Our parents are usually the ones that start our voyage and teach us what they can, and then in turn we pass on those lessons to our children.

Sometimes life can be a struggle and we get bogged down in the sad, and the bad and the painful and the busy. Then our children get to be the teachers. What a wonderful way to see what they have learned......and that is what my story is about.

This is my coffee table. It is over 20 years old.




















When my husband Keith and I bought it we wanted sturdy solid wood that would stand the test of time. That when it was marked up and had to be replaced, we could instead sand it and refinish it. Well the that time has come. If you look closely you will see it is pitted and marked, and has 20 years of scars on it.  And these pictures really don't show how bad it really is.The coffee table along with the side table have been given to my son Cody. They were something he wanted because of the history of the pieces. I asked him recently if we could have my friend refinish them for us. Being a woman I of course wanted them to be pretty and redone to match our new sofa. And this is what he said....

Mom do you know how many hours of my childhood was spent playing at that coffee table. Myself, an assortment of friends and my cousins, Erika, A.J, Skylar and Jatem spent so much time sitting there coloring, playing board games, and having snacks while watching cartoons when we were little. All of those marks are a part of or a memory of my childhood....I don't want to refinish it or paint it. I want it just the way it is......OK...insert a lot of my tears here....wow....did he tell me or what!! Glad we bought solid wood. These tables will be around forever!!

Then there is Nicole, she is  the one that reminded me that we need to look at our lives and only do what is important to us. Don't sweat all the little things. Surround yourself with people you love and that love you back. People that uplift you and bring meaning, and joy to your life. If you feel a friendship or relationship of any kind is always in constant need of repair, and makes you feel like you are always walking on egg shells then let it go. Life is too short to be sad, or mad. Life is to be enjoyed. Yes, be polite, be an adult and of course we all have to do some things we don't like....that is life. But when you have a choice, choose what makes you happy and who makes you happy.

And Natalie, ohhhhh  sweetie how you have taught me about fear. That fear will always come knocking, but we don't have to answer the door. You taught me that even when the shaking in your freaking boots kind of fear shows its ugly head we can push through it. I know there were days when you were in the academy you wanted to quit....but you didn't. There was fear of failure, and fear of old memories coming to life...but you pushed through and come out on the other side with a renewed sense of self. I am sooo proud of her. Fear is one of my biggest struggles.

My son in law Tbone (yep...he is one of my kids as well) has reminded me that we are all just doing the best we can. We each have our own unique struggles......we are no better or no worse than the next person. We are all children of God. He loves us no matter what church we go to, or what mistakes we make along our way. His love is pure and his love is there for EVERYONE!

I have no words to express how proud I am of my children. Each of them is on their own life journey with all the joys and pitfalls that come with it. But I can see that they each have what they need to make it. Life is a constant class room and we will find all kinds of teachers along the way. For the lesson that my children taught me......I am FOREVER grateful.

Nicole, Tbone, Natalie and Cody.....I love you with all my heart.

Today we celebrate an amazing man!! Perfect...Nope....really freaking close...Yep!!

He was my husband and the father of my children, but he was also my best friend. Oh how we laughed. Somehow even the bad stuff could be handled with humor when we were together. He was sooo out going, so friendly, such a nut, and for the life of him he could not dance or get the punch line of a joke correct but ohhhhh how he tried.


His children adored him and he felt the same about them. They were his number one priority and he would do anything for them. He was the kind of dad that really listened and tried to help...he didn't judge. He NEVER made them feel like they were not good enough. He was supportive to all his family and friends and the first one the scene when anyone needed help.
.

He loved his horses and was pure eye candy when he had on his boots and 501 button fly jeans. Yep....he was my cowboy and I will forever love him and miss him.
Until we are together again cowboy.....I am sending all my love.


Happy Birthday to my Forever Love. The kids and I miss you

Wow....everyday I learn something new about someone in my life. Lately it has been me!!!

1. I have learned......I am a good friend. When I love you I will do just about anything I can for you. I believe that is one of our soul purposes on earth. To reach out, to love, to help, to care for others. I go out my way for a stranger and if you are a personal friend, or family member I will go to the ends of the earth for you. But I have also learned not everyone shows their friendship the same way I do. I have learned to be open for all kinds of friendships and different ways people show kindness and affection. There is not just ONE WAY!

2. I have learned that I am not as strong as many think, but I am also not as weak as I think. I have been through so many horrible things in my life. Starting at the age of about 5 years old. I have gotten through every single one of them. So I know I am strong, but I am tired. I need some peace where there isn't something to get through.....just for awhile!!!

3. I have always been a perfectionist. Things needed to be done my way for them to turn out right. After much trial and error and observing others with the same affliction I now know there is no such thing as JUST ONE WAY! Something that happened over the holidays opened my eyes wide to this. I am working very hard on not being perfect...LOL...aren't you all glad....LOL

4. I have a tender heart, even though I try not to let it show. I also have tender feelings and I am working on that as well. I now know the difference between someone hurting my feelings and getting my feelings hurt. Sometimes people will hurt your feelings. They mean it, and it is intentional. But then there are times when an innocent remark or action can be just that...innocent. But I let it hurt me, I internalize it when it was nothing at all. Just left over hurts and scars from childhood that still need some balm and work. But I am getting better at it.

5. I am getting pretty good at forgiveness. I am really proud of that one. I work on it daily. Hurt my feelings and I will forgive. Break my heart and I am pretty much going to get on a plane to the back woods of Louisiana and find me a voodoo Priest to make me a voodoo doll of you and have fun poking pins into it. Mess with my feelings but not my heart.....LOL

6. I expect a lot from people. I expect honesty, loyalty, and kindness from my friends and family. But I expect it because I give it. But I also know to expect anything in life is to be a fool.

7. You never know when a kindness will come your way, and who might be the giver. I have had such kindness in the last 2 years from someone I had not expected it from at all. She really is a thoughtful person and her kindness has meant so much to me. But I totally didn't expect it. I didn't give this amazing young woman enough credit and I am sorry for that.

8. I have found that sometimes you just have to let people be. They would rather roll around in the pain than except anything from anyone. No wonder they say "Pride goeth before the fall" . It is not just drug addicts and such that have to hit rock bottom. It is your everyday person that thinks they can do it all, and handle it all on their own with no help from anyone. I know because at one time that was me. But I finally got a clue. I let God and my close inner circle help me when I can't take another step. And in turn I try to be there for my family and friends when they are having trouble getting back up. For some it takes a long time. They will push you away and cloak themselves in their stubborn pride. But I will be there when they finally see that it is OK to reach out and it is OK to accept help.

9. I am not a big risk taker. I get scared....and I hate that I get scared. But it is what it is and it is part of who I am. I am trying to do one thing a month that is out of my comfort zone. Maybe by the end of the year I will have a little more courage and a lot less fear.

10. I love being a part of a team. At work at play and in my personal life. I want a partner here on earth to grow old with. Though my trust-o-meter is not in great shape, I am also not willing to give up on love either. I will be a little more careful next time...OK A LOT more careful. Though my heart still has stitches it is working out each day to get better and be ready when that wonderful, honorable, sweet person comes my way.

11. I value trust over many things. Though I am faaaaaaaaar from perfect and I have many flaws. I DO NOT LIE!! And I have a big problem with liars. I DO NOT CHEAT....at anything or on anyone and I have no respect for anyone that does. Sorry if that seems harsh but at this point in my life it is how I feel. But things change, hearts soften and as we grow we are less critical. My life experiences have brought me to this point......it can change.

12. Life is messy, and fun, and hard and easy and bright and dark, and funny, and sad, and painful and joyful. Life is all of that and more. One day it is up and the next it is sideways. But it is the only one we have. I am going to try really, really hard not to let fear and pain be my compass. I am going to continue to learn and grow, make mistakes, forgive, reach out, mess up, have do overs, skip in the rain, watch a sun rise over the mountains, love, cry, dance and sing (though I am not very good at those last two I am going to do them anyway). I am going to continue to blog about my feelings and my life's journey even though some have told me I shouldn't. For those I say...then don't read it. I am not being mean, I am not pointing fingers. I am just talking about my thoughts, my life, my feelings, my journey. If you don't want to read about it, talk about it, or listen to me talk about it that is OK. But I am going to continue to talk about it. It helps me to write about my life. Your opinion of me is none of my business.

I have so many wonderful supportive, kind, loving people in my life. I am blessed by them and to have a Savior that forgives me for all my stupid screw ups, and loves me anyway. My children and grandchildren are everything to me. And God is above all!! Wonder what I will think about what I just wrote when I come back and read it a year from now.....where will my life be. What new things will I have learned about me and the people in my life.....

Happy Birthday to my beautiful, sweet, smart. sassy, loving, giving, hardworking, daughter... Natalie.
Daddy and I are so proud of you. We love you and want you to know that we are here for you always and forever.


When I hug you, it is from both of us.
When I kiss your cheek, it is from both of us.
When I give you a gift, it is from both of us.
When I tell you how proud of you I am, it is from both of us.

You have grown into such a wonderful woman. Your hard work is paying off. Your dedication is paying off. You are getting all the blessing we had ever hoped for, and you deserve each and every one of them.

Happy Birthday Nat Rat.
We love you soooo much.
XOXO....Mom and Dad

WOW....my birthday isn't even until tomorrow and WOW!!! The last two weeks have been a whirlwind of luncheons, parties, cards, gifts and spending time with fabulous friends. Heavenly Father must have known I really needed it this year.

Earlier this year I posted my "Bucket List" and one of the things on there is to find a group/organization/ to really get involved in on whatever level I can. I have helped out, given to and supported many over the years. My main one for over 20 years was Toy's For Tots. I really  enjoyed hosting my "Death By Dessert" party each year. Opening my home up to all my friends and family for them to partake of yummy desserts in exchange for them donating a new toy for a needy child. But having moved from a large house to a small apartment I decided that I needed to  change my focus to something that would fit my new life style. I wanted something different, something new. I didn't want to dabble in a lot of different causes, I wanted just one that I could help with on whatever level felt right for me.....and I found it.

I have a group of girlfriends who go to Africa each year with hearts and suitcases filled with love. The suitcases are also filled with first aide and hygiene supplies. These ladies also help organize gifts of goats, cows, and chickens. People living in huts made of dung do not have the luxury of driving down to the grocery store and grabbing a gallon of milk or a carton of eggs. But with our help and the donation of a cow, goat or chickens, they not only will eat everyday, they are able to sell the milk from the goats, and eggs from the chickens and send their children to school. Can you imagine not being able to send your child to school??????

Two of my sweet friends got together and donated a goat in my name for my birthday.....can I tell you I was moved beyond belief. My heart pumped and jumped and constricted and almost felt like it would stop. It was the most amazing gift I have ever been given. I couldn't stop crying. That gift will change the lives of an entire family....and it has certainly changed mine. I asked for something to be involved in....and here it is.


NOTE: Part of the process is that the first two off spring go to another family. So it truly is a gift that keeps on giving.

I wish I had the resources to give 100 cows, goats and chickens but I don't. I CAN however spend my time filling a suitcase with all the first aide and hygiene supplies I can gather. I will be asking for your help.

Do you have an extra first aid kit, a box of band aids, tooth paste, etc... that you would be willing to part with? Would you be willing to go to the Dollar store and purchase some of these items to donate? Do you have an old suitcase you no longer need? They ladies leave them behind once they are emptied of their supplies and the recipients use them as tables.....can you even imagine????

My heart is full, and I can't think of anything I want to do more than to help another parent send their child to school, or  feed them an egg for breakfast. Will you help me?????

I will gladly come to you and pick up any donations you have. Just one box of band aids can and will make a difference.

Thank you Heavenly Father for the AMAZING people you have brought into my life. And thank you for a prayer answered.

37 years ago today....my sweet mom passed from this life on to live once again with her Heavenly Father. It seems in some ways a million years ago...and it other ways it was only yesterday.
I don't have many pictures of her but this one is my favorite. She looks like a Spanish Senorita leaning against the arch of an old Spanish building waiting for her true love. Ok, so she was not Spanish, but the building was old and she was waiting for her true love...my daddy!

I was only 16 years when she died. It was one of the hardest things I have ever been through. A girl needs her mom, and at 16 I really needed her. She wasn't at my wedding, (at least not in the physical sense) but I am sure she was close by. She was not there for the birth of my son or to be introduced to her beautiful granddaughters. I was so lost without her. My dad tried but he had a major stroke only a few months after she died and I ended up taking care of him....and my childhood was officially over!

My mom was so kind, and sweet but if you pushed too far she would let you know you had gone far enough. She was brave too....she went through so much and never gave up. She lost 2 of her 5 children only 6 months apart. No parent wants to outlive their children but to lose 2 in such a short time....I can't even begin to imagine the pain.

As a young teenager of course I didn't always appreciate her and all of her amazing qualities. But my friends seem to. There was always one of my girlfriends at my house asking her advice about something....oh how I wish she was here today with some of her sweet wisdom.

She was an amazing cook. Everyone wanted to eat at my house. She loved to bake and cook and our house was always filled with the most delicious smells.

She loved my dad and all of her children. She wanted only the best for us. There is so much I wish I could tell her......how much I need her. How her grandson does so many things that remind me of her. How I do so many things just like her and how much I love her, admire her and miss her. Sometimes I think I am like her....and other times I don't. I have gone through so much and it has left me feeling weak and scared...not strong and brave. I just want her to put her arms around me and hold me and tell me it will all be ok....it may hurt a little but it will be ok.

One time a girl from the neighborhood came by and started a fight with me in the front yard...my mom said well if you win she will leave you alone so I will step back and make sure no one blind sides you....ok maybe not the best advice but hey it was the 60's...things were different back then. The girls mother showed up and tried to sneak up behind me and hit me with an umbrella when I wasn't looking. The next thing I know my mom had hit her with a right hook and the woman was OUT! I know......not a very lady like memory.....but I love it....it makes me giggle every time!!

I miss you mommy......I hope each and every day for some of your strength and wisdom. I am a pretty decent cook and I have a really good right hook....LOL

Love you!!

WOW....What a year 2013 was!!!! So many ups and downs. Many more downs than I wanted of course but there were a few bright spots. I will be thankful for them and move forward into the new year with joy and hope in my heart for many more of those wonderful moments.

I am going to have to do some very hard things this year...coming out of my comfort zone to achieve them will be the hardest of the hard. I am a creature of habit. I don't like change. I am one of those that likes when things just go along. But as we all know life gives you what you need and I need to get out of my comfort zone.....I have avoided it for a long time. Kicking and screaming and holding on by my nails....but I have finally let go.

Scared you ask....OMGosh  I am sooooo scared!!!! Moving forward into a place you don't want to go, doing things you don't want to do, and with not much confidence in the outcome...YEP...I am scared.
But....it is time. So wish me luck!!

2013 brought about some really hard times for me. I was divorced on February 13th (the day before Valentines day) if Valentines Day wasn't hard enough, now it's eve is my divorce date...wow...LOL
The end of my marriage was devastating and the pain unbearable at times.

I lost my home, and what little independence I had. But so thankful for my sweet daughter Nicole and her husband T-Bone for giving me and Cody a warm, safe, wonderful place to stay until we were back on our feet again. They will never know how grateful we are for their love, hospitality and generosity.

But there were good things as well......I have gained a much better relationship with all of my children. Not the one I had in my head but the real kind. Perfect...nope...real...yes! I love them with all my heart and soul.

I made some new friends. They have brought so much sunshine into my life. I reconnect with a few friends from the past, bringing with them wonderful childhood memories that I had forgotten. I reconnected with family (my ex-husband and his wonderful family) that I thought might be lost but their hearts are big and they are still in my life. We are just finding new ways to connect.

I have really seen with my heart and not my eyes what is important and what I can let go of that was just cluttering up my mind and heart, taking away attention from what really matters.

The out pouring of love and support that I received in my darkest hours. Some from people that I never would have imagined even cared.

My eyes were opened to many of my own flaws, some needed fixing, some are just part of who I am.

I realized what I really wanted from my relationship with my Savior. And what I want and don't want in form of religion. This one was the most gut wrenching by far.

I made a bucket list instead of a New Years Resolution List......
Bucket List 2013

1. Alaskan Cruise
2. To see the leaves change in the fall in Vermont.
3. To see "The Forgotten Carols".
4. To see the "Celtic Women" perform.
5. Hot Air Balloon Ride
That's enough for now. I am 52 and a few of these are going to take a lot of time and saving.

I only achieved one, but that's ok.... Thanks to a very sweet friend. I was treated to dinner and "The forgotten Carols" by my dear friend Regina Essex. What a wonderful experience that was. It touched my heart so much.

My list has changed a little for this year.....

Bucket List 2014

1. Alaskan Cruise (this will never change) as it is my hearts desire to see Alaska and to get there by way of a cruise ship.

2.To serve more. To not scatter myself all over dipping my toes into this and that. But to find a cause I truly believe in and that touches my heart and soul (not that they are not all worthy because they are), and then give it all I have. Really make a difference in a group or organization using my abilities and talents to help change the lives of others.

3. To grow closer to my Savior. To seek him through prayer and build a one on one relationship with him. To hopefully find out what it is I am here for. To make sure I thank him daily for all my blessings.

4. To reach out to family and friends...to give and assist where and when I am needed. To give back to all those who have been there for me. I would list you all, but there are too many to mention.

5. To take better care of my health. This one will be soooooooo challenging. As I am a stress eater. And with all the hard challenges ahead of me, I know I will naturally turn to food in my most weakest and scary moments.....I guess forgiving myself and not giving up will be a big part of this.

2014 is going to be ONE BIG CHALLENGE....but so was 2013. I am still here, still breathing, a little bruised, but still here. So I know I can get through anything......but not roller coasters.....on those I puke...LOL

Happy New Year to all those that take the time to read this.....and to those that don't. Thank you to all that were a part of my 2013...good or bad. You helped mold me, you help me to see that forgiveness is possible on both sides. You helped me to see I can give help but can also ask for it as well (that is a hard one for many of us). You helped me through divorce, homelessness, joblessness, feeling unwanted, unloved and unneeded.

May your cup runneth over with all the most beautiful of blessings. Wish you a 2014 that is over the top amazing!!!

Fall.....my favorite time of year. Things slow down a bit. The air starts to change, the smells start to change, a feeling of excitement for the kids as they look forward to Halloween. A feeling of excitement for others as they look forward to big pots of soup bubbling on the stove, colorful leaves falling and blowing in the wind. Thanksgiving and all the wonderful memories we make, food we eat and family and friends we get to connect with. I know I already mentioned the colorful leaves, but anything this beautiful deserves to be mentioned again.


I am not big on Halloween so for me the holidays begin with Thanksgiving, but the holiday season begins when I see the pumpkin patches  overflowing with big fat pumpkins just waiting for all those little sweeties to run through in search of that perfect one!


Everyone starts to dress a little different, got to have those layers. We try to get in a few more nights around the fire pits before the snow comes. And of course there is pumpkin pie, pumpkin, lattes, pumpkin, cookies, pumpkin bread, pumpkin fudge, PUMPKIN EVERYTHING.

Men let their beards grow, ditch the shorts for tight jeans and flannel shirts. Can't say I mind that one bit!! The ladies start digging out their leggings, boots and big fluffy sweaters. And we can't forget the soft warm jammies that have been tucked away just waiting to be pulled out on that first chilly night!


The A/C is turned off and the fireplace is lit. I love walking outside and smelling the wonderful aroma of the first fall fires, and seeing the smoke coming out of the chimneys. It gets darker earlier and as you walk down the street you can see through the windows how families are gathered around the table, kids finishing up homework and waiting for dad to get home. No....I am no peeping Tom.....but I do love to look at all the houses as I walk by and see families gathered around the table enjoying a warm dinner and sharing their day. I miss that part of life.

This fall as I anticipate the new life I am about to embark on, the new memories I will make, the wonderful foods I will cook, the warm jammies I will wear, and the fires I hope to sit around I send out love to all those who have each year been a part of my favorite season. And to those new friends who will be a part of all my future "Fall's" to come. I can't wait for all the new memories that are just waiting to be made!


HAPPY FALL Y'ALL

Recently I went through a divorce that has left me doing a lot of thinking about the dynamics between men and women. Don't worry....not going to get personal. Just my opinions and how I have come to view men as a whole. You don't have to agree...it's just MY opinion.

For so long men have said women are complicated.....they are right. Women say we are  the better communicator. Hmmmm...that may not be so. I will get back to that later.

Men....not so complicated! Now I am talking about the average Joe. The one who is working his job, loving his family and doing the best he can to live a decent life. I am not talking about those who lie, cheat, abuse, or have addiction problems. Those are complicated and serious character flaws that need to be dealt with in a manner in which you see fit. As I said I am talking about Joe Schmoe!

He doesn't ask for much. He works hard to support his family. He wants to watch or participate in a few selected sport options in his free time and you can usually make him smile from ear to ear and have his undying love with a medium rare steak or a fat sub sandwich and a cold drink.

He will usually do anything you ask...IF YOU ASK!!!! This is where I want to talk about women being the better communicator....NOT! Ladies.....they really do want to make us happy. But they are not mind readers. They are factual, we are emotional. We need to stop making them guess and then get pissed when they get it wrong. And turning on the water works is cheating!! I know we girls sometimes just can't help it.....it is a part of our make up. But when you do it to take advantage it is playing dirty. To make someone feel guilty to get what you want is not nice.

Now....that being said.....will he over night start picking up his socks or throw his coke can in the trash when he is done...maybe...maybe not. BUT...if you communicate...YES...TALK to him and let him know that there are some things that are very important to you. I bet he will listen. So...you throw away his coke can and pick up his socks. He fills up your tank on a cold winters night so you don't have to do it the next morning, he eats his toast dry because he knows you love yours dripping in butter and you are almost out of butter. It all evens out. Isn't it supposed to be give and take and helping each other. Sharing the good times, the bad times, the burdens etc....

Will you get frustrated with him at times and want more from him than you feel you are getting? Yep...and he will feel the same at times. Someone told me one time that each day they get up and  put their spouse first. They take time each day to do something to make her smile, to make her laugh and feel loved. And because their heart is in service mode all day long they are never left feeling unloved or cheated. Because he said when she is happy and smiling so is he!

So men....speak softly, and do the little things.....
And Ladies.....speak up, and that doesn't mean yell. Just telling him what you need so he doesn't have to guess.

THEN...and ONLY THEN....can you hit him with a frying pan if he doesn't listen ;)

I don't like roller coasters of any kind. The ones that you find at amusement parks and especially the emotional ones.

This month I am for sure riding the emotional one.

Watching my youngest daughter (my middle child)  graduate from the police academy as a corrections officer. Wow...Sooooooooo proud of her. She is not a little girl anymore.  She worked so hard to accomplish her goal and she did it. What a high....but the low was the empty seat her daddy should have been sitting in. Though I am sure if there was a way for our angel to stop what he was doing and watch from above....he did. First and foremost he loved his kids and was an incredible father. But her 6'4 baby brother was there with me and that sure helped.


Speaking of my baby boy, he just got a promotion to manager at the Pizza place where he works. And will soon be working 2 jobs to save up for a car and is looking forward to the changes ahead in his life. I am very proud of him, and know his daddy is too. The low was again....no one to share that with.....the seat was empty.


Cody and I have been living with my oldest daughter Nicole and her family for the last 6 months. It has been such a joy to see her grow as a mom and wife. And to get to spend so much fun quality time with my granddaughter Paige. Her laughter can chase away all my blues. Sure wish her grandpa was here to see just how much she is like him. She definitely has his sense of humor.


Cody and I are making arrangements to move. It is a high to move forward, but the low is the reality I had to face about my marriage. It just couldn't be saved and so many hearts were hurt by it.

As my heart grieves for two different men and two different kinds of love and relationships, I know that even though the ride has been sooooo bumpy at times. And I wanted to (and probably did) scream to LET ME OFF....I am still here. Still putting one foot in front of the other. Still doing my best to carry on and move forward with some kind of life that brings me joy. Still making mistakes....but learning from them a little faster these days. Not taking love, family or friendship for granted in any way. Still thankful for my blessing even the ones that I don't always see and others have to point out to me. Still plugging along. I might not always have a song in my heart....heck we all have bad days. But I do try to at least hum once a day...LOL

I am human...I struggle, I have bad days, and mad days and some really sad days. But I also have good days and even some great days. I have the best kids, the best family, the best friends, and a relationship with God and Jesus Christ. The rest is just stuff!

 So as I get ready to take the next step in this journey I will pray for the strength to get through the gray days and to be humble enough to thank my Heavenly Father for ALL of my days. Eternally grateful for my children and grandchildren. For the many true, loving and lasting relationships/friendships I have in my life. For the lessons I have learned riding that oh so scary roller coaster of life. So for now the seat beside me remains empty. And I am pretty sure it will remain that way. Life is a bit easier with a co-polite but I have hit the runway alone before and I can do it again.

Got to go now and buckle in for the next ride.....bumpy or not I will hang on and see where the tracks take me.

Life is just one big learning experience. Some lessons we learn in a flash. It only takes once and we know we will NEVER do that again. Others....hmmm...we may have to experience over and over before we FINALLY get it. Some lessons are so painful you can actually feel as if you will never get through it and the pain will NEVER stop......those that we don't learn quickly can leave you literally gasping for breath and begging for comfort and relief. Life lessons should ultimately leave you with new tools,  and understanding and a better outlook on your path.

Some of the lessons I have learned......

1. Never turn down friendship. When someone is reaching out to you and letting you know they value you and care don't turn your back. It may not be a friendship where you will see each other and talk to each other every day but who can afford to turn away kindness????...Not I!

2. When you have hurt someone you need to do all you can to make it right. And don't expect anything in return. Sometimes you can do and say everything in your power to make things right only for it to fall on deaf ears and cold hearts. As long as you were completely sincere and know you left no stone unturned then you have to let it go....as hard as that is. We are human...we want to know we have been forgiven. But that may not always happen. I recently reached out and was met with silence.....cold unfeeling silence. It hurt but I know I did all I could do......if they chose not to forgive then there is nothing I can do.

3. On the flip side to number 2 is being able to forgive. I realize that some hurts go deeper than others and some take more time to get through. But moving forward in my life I want to be that person that forgives and really lets things go. A challenge...of course. I am human and I have always had tender feelings. But it is really something I want in my life moving forward. I will work on it daily with real purpose!

4. Not everyone wants to hear my opinion....LOL. I get to have one, that is my right. But I don't always have to share it. Not everyone wants to hear life according to Cricket!

5. I believe people are good. We make mistakes, we mess up, we are not always accountable for our actions. But that doesn't make us BAD...it makes us human. We all have things we need to work on. Isn't that why we are here in the first place?

6. Acceptance of others doesn't mean you have to always agree with the choices of others. It means treating them and their choices with respect. Each of us has the right to make choices for ourselves. We have the right to change our minds, seek out different ways of life, educate ourselves in the choices we are making and move forward with those choices. I am not talking about hurtful choices like driving while drunk etc..... I am talking about choices of lifestyle, religion, education, sexuality....etc. I don't think I am better than ANYONE out there because our life choices are not the same. Nor am I less than anyone out there for the same reasons.

7. I have learned that people show love in different ways. Some are the shy quiet types that will listen whenever you need an ear. Some are loud and will shout to the world that they are your defender and no one better mess with you. Some will send a card, bake you some cookies, help you with your resume, buy you lunch, pray for you, and not let you get away with being hurtful to yourself or others. Some will just always be there no matter when you need them. No matter how far away you may be you know they will be there no matter what!!!

8. Love doesn't always come wrapped in the same wrapping paper, with a bow....but love is a gift no matter how it comes and what it looks like. When someone offers love, accept it, and give thanks that someone saw through all your layers...good and bad and still thought you were fantastic enough to share their heart and be a part of their lives.

9. You can't change people. You have no control over another person's choices. You are only in control of your own. Wonder why we are so bent on changing others and so reluctant to work on ourselves? I know for me, it is always easier to see another's faults than my own!! I have been very guilty of this. Something I am really, really working on. I get to take care of me and my business and let others do the same.

10. I am a loving friend....I really know this about myself. I have many faults and I am far from perfect but when I love you, I love you. I will do my best to give you my best. I will be there for you, support you and assist you in any way I can.

11. Though we all have stains and cracks, and none of us are perfect we all deserve love.

Life changes, so do people. With each step we take the sand beneath our feet shifts and what once was may never be again. But change doesn't have to be a bad thing even though it can be very scary. One step of courage at a time.....one foot in front of the other. I am really working hard on being true to me, not judging others and being kind to all that I come in contact with. Some days I do great...some days I fail big time. But I won't give up!!

Twelve years ago today the heart of our family went home to Heavenly Father. Keith was such a loving man. The kids and I were his whole world.


Keith loved life. He loved to laugh and to see others laugh as well. He was kind, and friendly. We could not go ANYWHERE that he didn't run into someone he knew. I finally had to make him stop going with me to the grocery store. A quick trip turned into an hour every time, as he would always see someone he had to say hi to...which of course turned into talking about old times. Everyone loved to just be around him. He was one of those guys that when I said I wanted to throw a party he was all for it and would help. I never had to worry about the house when I was sick or recovering from surgery. He would work all day and then come home and clean, vacuum, cook, do dishes and laundry and do it all really well.....Yep...I was a lucky girl.

His smile would light up a room. His eyes were incredible and the color of blue depended on what he had on.


He loved animals and we always had at least one horse and usually a variety of other animals. He was one sexy man sitting on a horse in his tight Levis and boots. (Sorry if that was TMI...but it's the
truth).


I miss him so much, I miss the laughter and how his eyes crinkled when he smiled. I miss how he always called our girls "Punk".  When he got home from work at night Cody and I would walk out to meet him. No matter how tired or how bad of a day he had he always smiled, picked Cody up and reached for me to give me a kiss. He was always glad to be home and with his family was his favorite place on earth.



His brother Jerry (Bubba) was his best friend and they spent many hours talking and laughing.

His family will always feel the void his passing left behind. But we know we will be together again some day.

I have had the privilege to have so many wonderful Father's in my life.

My own wonderful Father who I love and miss so much!! I am the baby of the family and he spoiled me. I was his "Pinky" and he was the best daddy!!


My husband and father of my children Keith Hansen. He was taken much too soon. He was an amazing father. He loved his children more than anything. He was so funny, and kind and good. We love him and miss him more than words can say. We feel his love and his spirit watching over us. And we see the signs he sends to us.


My Brother-in-law John. He married my sister when I was only 6 months old so he has always been like a second Father to me. He is an amazing man and I can't imagine my life without him in it. The love he has shown to my sister, his children and our family could never be replaced. He loves with all his heart and his hugs are the best in the world.



Bruce Carter, whom I call my adopted dad. He is so kind and loving. Such a wonderful example of what a true husband and father should be. He has always been there for me and my family.


My son-in-law T-bone. I watch him with my daughter and granddaughter and just smile. He is a great dad and a man with a heart of gold. So happy that my daughter is spending her life with her true love. He adores her and all of his children.

Kevin Bench, a dad who shows his love to his children in every way a dad can. He is a kind man with a great smile and a big heart. He is happiest when he can be with his sweet wife, kids and grandkids and of course his dogs at his property and just hanging out sharing a meal and some laughs.


Each of these men have been a blessing in my life, and the lives of my children. Thank you for all you do. Thank you for the love and strength you share and for the examples you are. I love each of you with all my heart. Happy Father's Day.

WOW......20 years has flown by so fast!! How did this happen...seems like only yesterday we were on the way to the hospital to meet our little surprise...yes we chose to NOT know the sex of our baby. But I knew......it was a mommy thing....I just knew the sweet life inside me was a baby boy....a 10 1/2 pound baby boy and he was 22 inches long!



Now 20 years later he is 6'4 and.......well he may not like me talking about his weight...I know I don't like it when anyone asks about mine...LOL


He is a very talented artist. Each time he draws something new and shows it to me my heart swells.
He is kind, and has a big heart. He will defend his family and friends and has a soft spot for animals.
He can make me laugh like no one else can.

Though time will not stand still no matter how much I want it to, and he is a grown man....he will always be my baby boy!

Happy Birthday Cody. Your sister's, you dad and I were over the moon happy the day you were born. I love you, and wouldn't trade you for anything in the world.
Have an amazing birthday.

~Mom~

It was a beautiful day. Florida April 25, 1992.  It was warm with a wonderful breeze. I can still smell the flowers. We were surrounded by those that were the most precious to us.There was never a moment you did not make us smile. You were taken much too soon.
Happy 21st Anniversary. We love you and miss you.

So......I have had a question running around in my head for awhile now. Thought I would put it out there and get some input from some of you.

I believe Fate is something that is going to happen, kind of pre-planned by the universe or God...etc...etc.... and then there is accountability......being accountable for whatever role you play in any given situation.

I believe in both. I know there are things that are going to happen and there is nothing I can do about it happening.....but I can do my best to take all the measure I can to have the best possible outcome.


Example:

You wear a seat belt in hopes that if you are in an accident that your injuries will be minor, you won't go through the windshield...etc... The seat belt will not stop fate. The guy who is going to run the stop sign is still going to run the stop sign. But by putting on the seat belt you are being accountable for part of your outcome. Could you still get badly injured, of course. But you took all the proper steps to do your best to lessen that outcome.....accountability.

I don't think accountability always comes AFTER the fact. As in to apologize AFTER you have made a mistake. Yes, an apology is the right thing to do AFTER the fact. But what about BEFORE?
Is it OK do just sail along in life leaving EVERYTHING to fate? Seems to me that is a lazy way not to really participate in life. There is never any accountability that way. You can always just say....oh well...it was fate. It was going to happen no matter what I did or didn't do. And as I stated above, I too believe in fate. But I think we all play a part in it.

Jump in and let me know your thoughts. Maybe I am looking at this all wrong.

Hugs,
Cricket

Happy Birthday to my amazing, beautiful, talented, sweet, crazy, nap taking, nacho eating daughter.
You are such a joy to our family. Love you so much and so very proud of you!!

Two years ago today we lost a very important piece of our crazy family puzzle. My nephew John Jr. who I have always called John-John. Cancer has not be kind to our family. John-John fought hard, and we all thought he had beaten it but.... we were wrong.


He didn't complain, he didn't ask "Why Me" he only asked his dad once "Are they sure they have done everything dad, there is nothing else they can do"? And with the answer....he then accepted his fate with dignity.


I was able to spend the day with him before he died. He in his hospital bed, me sitting in a chair beside him holding his hand. We laughed, we watched old shows  from our childhood on TV.
You see my nephew and I are only about 4 years apart in age. We grew up together, and were very close. We had inside jokes that no one else understood. He always knew how to make me smile and did it often. We had many long talks over big bowls of ice-cream, or sitting in the lobby of Burger King. We solved a lot of the worlds problems  with a whopper and a coke...LOL.



He made world  famous sandwiches. The kitchen would look like a tornado went through when he was done. The deal was, he would make them but I had to clean up afterwards.....it was so worth it. His sandwiches, just like him....were amazing.

He had such a big heart, He loved all things space and lived right around the corner from the Kennedy Space Center. He was an amateur photographer and his photos were beautiful. He was the number one fan of the Miami Dolphin's and wore his official jerseys with much pride!


He loved his family more than anything. He left us much too early. We miss so much about him. But he will always live in our hearts. He had many friends but only one true love....her name was Aurie.

We love you John John!! Take care of your grandparents, your Uncle Mickey, Uncle Danny and Uncle Keith until we can all be together again.

I saw this on another blog and thought it looked fun. Since it is 2013 she shared 13 things about herself. Some of these you may already know.....some may surprise you.

1. I looooove Diet Dr. Pepper. I try not to drink a lot of it anymore and really try to stick to Crystal Light. Some days I do great...some not so great.


2. I believe that chocolate is 2 of the 4 food groups and should take up at least half of the food pyramid.

3. I love to hike. I know maybe you wouldn't guess that by looking at me. But I really love to hike and enjoy nature. I also love to camp.

4. I think laziness is a hanging offence...LOL

5. My favorite actor is Powers Booth.....you thought I was going to say Shemar....no...he is the SEXIEST actor. But my favorite is Powers Booth. Most of you probably don't even know who he is.


6. I am a really shy person.....I know you don't believe it but it is true. I have to force myself to reach out. Being in retail for so many years really helped with that one. Plus I have met soooo many wonderful people because I was force to smile and say hi. Now I do it because I want to.

7. I think naps are a big waste of precious time. I only nap when I have a cold and the medicine makes me sleepy. Many of my family and friends think I am crazy over this one.

8. I once ran over an alligator in my low riding sports car. He lived...didn't even really bother him. I on the other hand almost had a heart attack.


9. My favorite color is Pink.

10. When I love....I love 100%.  I will do anything in the world for you. When I don't like you (and there are very few) I feel the same way....as in 100%. But I know how to smile and be kind. Everyone deserves kindness no matter who they are.

11. I want more than anything in the world to go on a cruise to Alaska!! I seriously would eat crackers for a year if I could save enough to go to Alaska!


12. I love my family more than anything. They are my heart and soul.

13. I saw Ike and Tina turner at Prom. Yes....I am old...they were still together back then.....LOL

Well, I hope I didn't bore you too much. Did you learn anything about me you didn't already know?

 67 years ago today a wonderful, amazing, loving, giving, generous, kind and oh so HILARIOUS man was born. He lived his life always thinking of others. He loved his family, especially his wife Cricket and his children Nicole her husband T-bone, Natalie and Cody more than anything. If he was not doing something with them he was on his horse. His brother Jerry (Bubba) was his best friend.


His love of silly dry humor was passed down to his children. He could watch movies like "The Court Jester, Monty Python, and of course his favorite Blazing Saddles" over and over again. His beautiful granddaughter Paige also inherited the love of the silly comedies as well. He was so funny. I started laughing the moment I met him and it never stopped. I miss the laughing.....

He is missed, but I look at our children and see him. In a mannerism, or hear him in their laughter. Though we can't see him, or touch him, he is always with us. He left us with so many funny stories to tell, so many moments to remember. And each time a morning dove pays us a visit we know he sent it.


We Love you, We miss you.

Happy Birthday Keith