.Wednesday, April 21, 2010 ' 9:15:00 PM Y
blogged
Chinese 20/40
pass.
bring the essay on 7th may like you promised.
thank you for helping me.
.Sunday, April 4, 2010 ' 1:46:00 PM Y
blogged
Another sleepless night.
Tried sleeping at 5am but couldn't stop the things running through my mind.
tossed and turned till 11am.
Well,now i'm confused again.
I wish everything was more straightforward.
I don't want to continue trying to solve the impossible puzzle.
Just tell me the reason for every action and speech because every moment as long as i'm awake has been a torture.
I have been typing messages to you,pretending that i would send them,but i don't and they just serve to make me feel better.
Well,i love you.
What more can i say?
When i see you or feel you next to me,my hands turn cold,my body turns jelly and weak,my heart beats so fast i feel as if i am on a roller coaster.
Even as i am typing this,my hands are numb and cold.
All these things that are happening is killing me.
Please,please become stable for nothing else can satisfy me.
It has been very long since my mood has even been just "okay".
When will i be happy again??
I beg,beg for time to reverse.
If you ever leave me,i will never ever be able to forgive myself.
. ' 5:02:00 AM Y
blogged
Its 5am.
You can just tell from my eye bags how much sleep i've been getting.
Before we part, i wonder if it would be the last time i ever get to see you.
It happens every time.
I don't know whether there would be a day when you just send me a message or call,just telling me goodbye.
I don't know what you're thinking,i don't know what you plan to do.
I want to know how you feel,just the truth will do.
I don't want to care how much it would hurt.
For now,every time you come clean with me,nothing good comes out.
What's your masterplan?
.Wednesday, March 24, 2010 ' 10:46:00 PM Y
blogged
Well,i think i m a major slacker.
I've never worked my 100%,i must admit.
I love to daydream,so i get lost in the middle of things.
Can't do this anymore in this school,i ll seriously die.
And i'm starting to love piano more,isnt that a good thing? (:
I guess i hated it when i came to sota because i changed piano teacher for the first time and after that i stuck to the same grade for the past 5 years?
But this year,everything is gonna be different.
Our relationship is running more smoothly now,and i just can't describe how contented i am (:
. ' 4:36:00 PM Y
blogged
Omg i feel the need to blog so much.
So many ideas growing in my head and i m so tired from stopping them -.-
Sigh,i DONT WANT TO DO WORK.this sucks.
i feel like i m forcing myself.
4.30-5.45 SRM
5.45-7:00 PIANO
7:00-8:00 LIT and TV
8:00-8:30 finish up LIT
8:30-9:00 BATH
9:00-9:30 BIO
9:30-9:40 Pack bag/Do CHINESE
omg, ==
.Friday, March 19, 2010 ' 9:00:00 PM Y
blogged
What the fuck happened to me.
I don't know why i've become like that.
If i am i would have had many friendships problem is it not?
I guess i've changed,i dont know why i did.
or isit just to the person i love the most?
I'm always tempted to do anything and everything to please you.
As for friends,i would just tell them directly about anything.
Argh,this is just fucking fucked up.
I hate my brain,why does it work like that.
Nothings going right,nothing.
. ' 3:28:00 PM Y
blogged
I still taste everything as bitter.
I thought i could make things better because i was already changing.
I felt the numbness in my heart from your sudden change in mood.
I know i used to have character problems,but so what,give yourself a chance to believe me can't you?
The weather is going according to whatever i m feeling inside,well,i'm crushed to bits.
I only have me and myself to support myself to get up again.
Can't this process be sped up any faster?
Please open your eyes bigger,can't you see i'm already trying very hard?
Can you ask me before jumping into conclusions and turn everything upside down?
I'm really not that kind of person.
I wanted to make you happy today,that was it.
You're not giving me any space to have a chance to prove anything to you.
I know it isn't easy on you either,but please talk things out nicely first?
I am going to do whatever it takes to prove it to you.
But one thing for sure is that i am not as strong a person you want me to be.
That i can't change.
