I applied to the HELP International volunteer program and GOT IN. Which means if I can raise the money to get there, I AM FREAKING GOING TO INDIA THIS SUMMER.

Insane, I know.

I'm working with my sister Kristina doing Children's Chorus in Las Vegas. I have an interview tomorrow for a second job so I can save as much money as possible.

Life is crazy. I've decided to stop waiting around for a man. I realized I had this stupid idea that life doesn't really start until you are married. Like everything before that is kind of pointless.

HOW DEPRESSING IS THAT?!?

Depressing and so so sooooo false.

Know anyone that could donate a couple bucks to a girl trying to go to India?

It's for a good cause :)

I was teased as a kid. All throughout elementary school and into middle school. In high school it was more subtle backstabbing and gossip and drama. You know how it is.

I was the girl that got "fake asked" to the prom by a popular boy and then relentlessly teased after because "there's no way he'd actually ask YOU to the dance."

Yes that really happened to me.

My junior year in high school I was 5'5'' and 196 lbs. I was one good burrito away from breaking 200.

Today I was thinking about how different I am now. I grew 2 inches, I dropped 50 lbs, and I actually take care of myself physically and put effort into how I look.

You know what was greatest blessing/realization from that change?

Looking "better" didn't improve anything.

I used to think "if only I was skinny then I could do this and people would treat me like this and this would be different and blah blah," which is total bull.

Nothing changed! All my same fears and insecurities were still there. The same guys are dicks, whether they are teasing you for being fat or trying to grab your butt because you are "hot." The same girls are your best friend no matter what. The same girls will hate you and gossip, whether it's about how giant your thighs are or to make up rumors that you got skinny because you started doing coke.

For the first 17 years of my life I really thought being skinny would be the answer. Well guess what? I've been skinny for about 6 years now and all I've learned is that there is always going to be a "skinny" for me. Whether it's "if I have this job," or "if I had this boyfriend," etc. etc. etc.

It's all bull.
Every day I just have to try my very best and that's literally all that matters. How I look, if I have piercings or tattoos or perfect skin or a shaved head.

IT's INSANE to me how many women are driven by a "physical belief system" without even knowing it. I'm sure it's so subtle and destructive it's still inside me without ME even knowing it.

Anyways, there ya go.

I'm awesome and beautiful. So are you. Whether you have a zit or a cute baby or an awesome haircut, it doesn't matter.

You are absolutely gorgeous and I hope you can look in the mirror and say that to yourself right now.

I think I might get a second job, plus going to school full time. I just really REALLY hate feeling any sense of financial insecurity. I hate it more than most things.

Here we go

We filmed a commercial at the salon today! Early in the morning I got a text from my boss asking if my "hot boyfriend" could be one of the male models pretending to get their hair cut. In the month that I've worked their, three of the stylists have texted me about how dreamy my mancandy is. It's flattering and odd all at once.

MY HAIR IS AWESOME ALL THE TIME.
This color is called "shiny penny" and I kept my hombre.
JAZZED.

Also, my eyebrows look amazing.
Have a good day!

My sister Calee released and album and it's being sold in stores and she has music videos and signs autographs and its freaking blowing my mind just thinking about it right now.

She writes all her own music, she's a gifted performer, and it doesn't hurt that she's related to me and therefore is probz pretty hawt.


Calee Reed! Look her up now! MUSIC ON ITUNES.