i am: 25, a wife to the busiest man alive, mom to two kids and a puppy, the "accounts receivable" department for my husband's company, and a non-existent choir director

i think: I am going to go crazy someday worrying about the new lines and wrinkles and dark spots and thinning hair my kids are giving me.

i know: that it will be a long time before I know God's reasons for most of the things that happen in my life

i want: to sell my house and third car (although it's the car I want to keep forever -- you have to try an Audi someday, you'll never go back) so that I can buy my next house and remodel it so we can stay in our favorite ward forever

i dislike: how long it take to defrost frozen meat (I have to think of what I want for dinner before I get lunch ready if I want it ready to eat when we want it)

i miss: my friends from high school

i fear: the same thing every mother/wife fears -- losing my husband or kids

i feel: like I have totally "let myself go" from what I was like in high school and yet I don't have the time or resources to fix it

i hear: the sound of a movie playing in the other room entertaining my children so I can do this, even though I should be doing other things

i smell: the delicate scent of old dirty diapers wafting out of my children's bedroom (I need to take those out!)

i crave: back rubs, foot rubs, scalp rubs... the list could go on and on

i cry: almost never... unless there is a sad movie or a stirring song... or if I'm pregnant -- then anything can make me cry

i usually: try to sleep in (and I will do almost anything to do it; some days it feels like my only indulgence in life, although I'm sure it's not)

i search: for things I swear were there just a moment ago

i wonder: when life will become "easy"

i regret: spending so much money on acting/modeling classes that haven't amounted to anything and not saying anything to my grandma about her beautiful hands while I sat next to her at dinner not even an hour before she died (I know, I'm weird)

i love: my family, my friends, the Gospel and the smell of rain

i care: about how I fold my sheets and towels -- they are folded a very specific way every time, and yet I don't care at all how Curtis folds them

i always: feel like I never stop but you'd never know it from looking around my house

i worry: about life becoming "harder"

i am not: pregnant (although I just got asked last Saturday at my family reunion -- obviously I've been neglecting the gym for too long)

i remember: layering two different colors of "slouch" socks so that opposite colors were on top and looking at the older girls and thinking how cool their big poofy hairdos looked along with their oversized shirts that hung off one shoulder and showed a bra strap! (what were we thinking in the 80's?!?

i believe: that some day I will not pick fights with my husband over stupid little things

i dance: not nearly as often as I would like

i sing: not nearly as well as I would like, and thus, almost never (you should see the looks my kids give me when I try)

i don't always: get around to brushing my teeth before noon

i argue: rarely, because I'm not very good at it

i write: as little as possible -- my handwriting is illegible

i win: tug-of-wars with my dog (usually) and smiles from my kids

i lose: brain cells when I get stressed (I swear I become so scatterbrained)

i wish: I had some curves that didn't disappear so easily with only a few missed weeks at the gym to let my stomach catch up with them

i listen: to music that makes me cry whenever possible

i don't understand: most of my neighbors (white trash and drug dealers)

i can usually be found: at home -- it's like I never leave

i am scared: of the semi-dark (those shadows in the corners of my house are worse than full dark)

i need: chocolate on a daily basis

i forget: anything I haven't written down

i am happy: most of the time

i tag: Tara & Michelle