Well hello lonely blog. It’s been so long since I signed in, it’s been a struggle to get to the point of actually writing today.

The biggest news of the year is that my second-born, Kathryn who lived with us for the last year and a half along with her sweet daughter, Noah Grace, died in her sleep unexpectedly on July 4th of this year. We found her and tried to revive her while we waited on the paramedics to arrive. They also did their best to bring her back, but we don’t know when she stopped breathing and her heart stopped pumping, and she was just gone.

This, as you can imagine, has proven to be an abrupt change in our lives. She seemed to be doing better. She had started seeing a therapist, and had even created a line of shirts and sweatshirts with the word, “Resilient”, on them. I have the sample sweatshirt in my drawer.

Kath’s body was in North Carolina, and we needed to bring her remains home. Thus we made the hard decision to go with cremation, and have her remains mailed home by USPS. What a horrible decision to have to make.

We had a lovely memorial service for her at the church of the bulk of her childhood, New Covenant Church. As you may know, Charlie was on staff there twice: once for over a decade as youth pastor, then again a few years later as Music Director and Leader. Needless to say, that church has a special place in our hearts. There was standing room only at her Memorial. I was so thankful that a pastor and his wife who are dear friends of Kathryn and even welcomed her into their home to live for awhile when she escaped her violent husband were willing to put the whole Memorial Service together, saving me from more decisions. It was definitely a special gathering.

I assumed Noah would stay with us, and we would raise her, but she actually is now in a perfect situation living just around the corner with my younger brother and his wife. Their three grown boys are still at home, and Carolyn’s Mom and younger brother live there as well, so Noah is surrounded by family and activity. They keep Play Dough in a bin by the dining table, and bubbles live on the patio table out back. She gets a bath every night and they also read to her. She was given a scholarship to a pre-school, so she spends her Monday through Friday mornings in class with a teacher I’ve known for years.

My brother taking Noah in has given us the time and space to process this loss in our lives. Charlie and I spend lots of time together taking strolls and cooking meals together. He took some time off of work to adapt, so they filled in his position a bit at work. He has reduced hours now that he’s back in the saddle, and while that’s not great for income, it’s been nice to have him around.

I think that’s enough for now. I’ve had some health issues, but seem to be on the mend. I’ve started therapy to assist in the processing of this huge life change and loss. I’m trying to move forward while giving myself grace in the journey. Like I told my therapist, I have three sources of support: my faith, my husband & daughters, and my “coffee ladies” I’ve been meeting weekly with to have coffee and share life together for many years now.

Also I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that while we were out of town dealing with death issues, about 50 people came to my house to spruce it up. They replaced a cracked toilet upstairs and redecorated with a new shower curtain. They repainted my kitchen to give it a fresh look. They fixed up a room for Noah Grace, including a new bed, fresh paint, and more. They removed unsalvageable carpet, and totally cleaned out Kath’s room, saving me from that heartache. They removed an old couch that when moved was discovered to have black mold on the back due to proximity to a window unit. They replaced it with a clean couch situated away from the window unit. Also they replaced the window units. So much more was done for us, I am still discovering it here and there. I am equal parts embarrassed and thankful, our house was so run down. No, I take that back. I’m more thankful than embarrassed. Such a blessing!

I’m sitting at my kitchen table with my little Nugget (Noah Grace). As I’ve said before, we keep her while my daughter works. Noah is bright and good natured. We are so glad to have her in our lives.

These last two weeks, Mr. Handsome has been waking in the wee hours, getting up, and starting his day. As you well know, the morning and I have never made friends, and that’s been the most challenging part of keeping the Nugget for me. Since he is up anyway, Mr. Handsome said he would be glad to keep her company while I get a little bit more sleep (I always sleep better in the later hours of the night instead of the early ones). This has helped me immensely. He cooks her breakfast (she is a great little eater!), takes her for a walk (holding hands if a car comes by), and draws and colors with her. I tend to read her books. I recently bought her some alphabet cards, and the “Aa” card had both “ants” and “anteaters” on it, so we looked up some YouTube videos of anteaters, to see what they look like when they are not cartoons. She really seemed to enjoy it.

Kathryn found a stray dog. She brought him into my house. She didn’t ask, she just did it. I don’t want a dog. I already have a useless cat who is afraid of everyone and everything, and yet we have to take care of his litter and make sure he is fed and watered. He also peed on my furniture in the Great Room a couple of years ago, so he is relegated to a room he can’t do that in. Not much of a life for a cat. We had to dispose of the furniture after trying multiple ways to get the smell out of it. It was sad, really. The furniture had been quite cozy before that. Anyway, now we have a dog in the house, also relegated to specific areas since he’s not really well house-trained, and he is the best natured dog I have ever met. He tolerates Noah’s antics, he is calm, and he is friendly. I still don’t want a dog. But if I DID want a dog, I would want it to have this dog’s temperament. He is also a bit big for my taste. If he steps on you, it hurts. And he does step on you.

At work Saturday night, Charlie was entering in a ticket at the computer terminal while he had a bottle of wine and some wine glasses ready to serve. Somehow when he turned away from the terminal, he hit one of the glasses on it, and it shattered. At first, he thought it was just a minor cut, but upon inspection, he found he could see his bone inside the cut. Um, not minor. It would not stop bleeding, and he still had to finish his shift. All he had on site was a bandaid and some painter’s tape. He did the best he could. Maybe it needed stitches, but that would have required a trip to the ER, and we really can’t afford that. When he got home, we used super glue, and it seemed to be effective.

So much has happened since I last posted, I hardly know where to begin. I guess I’ll just jump in the middle somewhere. The biggest thing that’s happened is that our daughter and granddaughter have now been living with us for well over a year. Unfortunately, her soon-to-be-ex is incarcerated due to violence against her. It started the year they married, and we never knew. She said she got quite adept at covering black eyes. She’d like her good knives back, but they are with the authorities as evidence since he cut her with them. I won’t go on.

This has been quite the educational experience for us. It seems that COVID has backed the court system up, so he has not even been sentenced yet, even though he’s been incarcerated for over a year. We don’t yet know how it will all play out. What price will he have to pay for threatening the life of his wife? Her neck was cut, her leg was cut, her face was all bruised up. What kind of a man does that? One we welcomed into our family? She did the hard things, and went to the authorities and had exams, photos, x-rays, it’s all there in evidence. This is hard, people, Hard.

So since she has been with us she has needed a lot of trauma sleep. I’ve done a lot of Noah Grace-keeping. Mom needed to get well (Kath). And she is doing better, I am happy to say! She has recently started a new job as an assistant to an anesthesiologist at an eye clinic. It’s mornings, Monday through Thursday, and she loves it! She is so encouraged to have a paycheck again, and I know she feels good to be bringing value to the workplace. She’s been working since she was 15, and I think she enjoys it.

Charlie continues to work at Mom and Dad’s Italian Restaurant here in Thomasville, and he seems to be enjoying it. I feel like he is really fulfilled serving others, but by the end of the work week, he is so done. It makes it difficult to consider going to church on Sunday morning when the work week was so full only ending late Saturday night.

New topic: Church. Months ago we started meeting with a small group led by a couple we really respect and admire. He is gifted in teaching and leadership, and she is a worshiper and caregiver to people. They recently invited us to join them on their beach trip, and it was such an awesome time. I do love the beach, and I miss it when I can’t go. I especially love to spend time at the beach with people I love and respect. Anyway, they started a “small group” (that refuses to stay small) in their home, and we have enjoyed being a part of that. We quickly outgrew their biggest room, and had to relocate to a small church we have all had relationship with for generations. At the time, it worked out well, as the church met in the mornings, and we met in the evenings with everyone bringing food and sharing a meal. I feel this is important to create community. However, things have evolved into merging the two groups with our guy leading it, and we now meet on Sundays at 10:00am. 10:00am. Yikes. I’m afraid that’s something of a deal breaker for me. I’ve never felt well in the mornings. If you are at all familiar with my blog you know this. 10:00am? I know that’s not at all early for most, but I feel like I’m barely breathing at this point. Also, what happened to the “covered dish” thing we did in the evening? You can’t do that in the morning. So I’m kind of sad about that.

Hello bloggy world! It’s been a long time since I came here. The last blog post I made was on the wrong account, so I feel quite behind in updates. It’s all good though because I subscribe to Stacy Julian’s concept that everything counts when it comes to memory keeping, and blogging is just another of the ways that I choose to keep memories. It’s fun to look back through the years and remember the good times. I tend to record good times more than bad because I like to shape my memories that way. We all have hard and difficult times, it’s a fact of life, but what are the memories I want to hold closest? Frankly, the good times are better to keep in mind.

So things are good on the home front. I have not read my most recent post on this blog, I just know it was awhile ago. We are still keeping my little Nugget twice a week. This month she will be two and a half. Time flies, right? We usually keep her on Mondays and Thursdays, and as I am writing, this is a Monday, so she is right in front of me munching on crackers and watching Treasure Planet. We’ve already watched her favorite, Spirit, this morning. She is generally good-natured.

We had a really lovely visit from all four of the girls on November the 14th. This was especially a treat since my third born, Emily, or “River” as is the preferred name now, lives in New Jersey as of this year, and so it’s really a big deal for a visit since home is now so far away. It was great to have all four siblings together even though it was less than 24 hours that they were all able to be together. It had been a year since they’d been all together: Samantha’s excellent wedding last year was the last time that had happened. Now that they are all adults with grown up lives and grown up jobs, who knows when they will next be able to gather. I soaked up the time and cried happy tears in private.

We spent our Thanksgiving in Atlanta with our oldest, Rebekah, who hosted for the first time. She acted like she’d been doing it her whole life. It was a really lovely time. We took Kathryn and Noah Grace with us, and it was so good to get to share the time with Charlie’s parents too. Charlie’s Dad is 90, and I believe his Mom is 83. They are both in good health. It’s so awesome to still be able to share some holidays with them. They are pretty much established in Atlanta, so we will have to go up there to see them now. They don’t need to be travelling all the way down here to visit us.

Our Sam’s husband Tyler is selling Christmas Trees when he is not working his job as a firefighter. It’s wonderful that they will deliver the tree you buy, and they’ll even set it up on the stand for you. Last year was our first time buying from him, and it was so nice to have the delivery service that now I feel totally spoiled. Once that’s not available, we may look into the dreaded artificial tree option. Managing the live tree purchase, set up, and management has become ponderous. Tyler made it easy for us the last two years, and for that I am grateful, not to mention the tree is just gorgeous! We used to get a massive tree, but this year we went simple with an 8′ tree. It was nice to decorate without a ladder!

This year we will stay home for Christmas. It looks like only our two girls in town will be joining us for Christmas. Rebekah in Atlanta will be spending her Christmas with Brent’s family (her in-laws), and I’m not sure what River’s plans are way far away near New York. What an exciting place for the holidays! Christmas is all about family for me, and I feel so blessed to have gotten to have some time with my girls this holiday season so far.

We had a Home Church Christmas party last night. It was really fun to get to see people we have been building relationships with in a festive setting. I just love Christmas time. I think it’s my favorite time of year closely followed by the Fall season. I love the lights, the trees, the food, the presents, and especially time shared with friends and family. I didn’t go all out with the tree this year. Usually I load it down with so many ornaments, there is not any room left for more. This year I only used white lights and just enough ornaments to look pretty. I’m really happy with it. The only thing that is left to do with the tree is put some candy canes on it and get some gifts wrapped and tucked underneath. It would be nice if I can find a skirt too. I think I loaned mine out to one of the girls last year, and I’ll have to see what I can dig up for this year.

Currently here in my Sitting Room, we have finished with Treasure Planet and have moved on to the Netflix series of Spirit which I have on disc. For some reason the DVD player we have in here does not stream anything smoothly. Spirit is Noah Grace’s favorite movie, and I’ve seen it at least a hundred times. When I found that I could buy a series of over 21 hours of viewing content without watching stuff over and over again, I jumped at it. It really holds her attention, and that’s nice. Don’t get me wrong, she has toys she plays with too, but it’s nice to have a story going on in the background, or, often, the foreground.

I am doing my project this December that I’ve done every year for the last 8 or 9 years: December Daily. It’s a book I make with one picture and one story for every day in the month of December. This year I may finish actually ON the 25th since my album is limited in size. I am using an album that has handmade paper, is fabric covered, and came from India. I acquired it during my stint working the shop Earthlover in downtown, and have been saving it for a good occasion. This year seemed like a good time to use it. I’m using Graphic 45 papers and embellishments, and I love the vintage steampunk vibe they lend.

Charlie is in the kitchen making our lunch. We have subscribed to a meal service called EveryPlate, and it’s been fun to try out new things we might not otherwise have thought of. Today we have breaded pork chops with roasted carrots and oven fries with a zesty dipping sauce. Should be delicious!

That’s pretty much all I’ve got for now. I hope this holiday season has found you all doing well. I know for some it can be a hard time, and my hopes are that for people who struggle with the season, it will not be such a hard year this time.

My it’s been a long time. I don’t have a computer or keyboard so I’m doing this from my phone which is laborious using thumbs instead of all my fingers. I had the dickens of a time signing in as it’s been so long and I have more than one account. Had to figure all that out. But here I am!

I’m trying to figure out how to show you a picture of my cute Nugget I’m still keeping twice a week.

There she is! What a cutie, right? She is very much two years old but very good natured. We are so blessed in her. She’s just a doll.

Sadly, her mom, our Kathryn is facing divorce. It’s a generational first in our family on both sides going back a ways. But ya gotta do what ya gotta do and we support Kathryn all the way while at the same time we are saddened by the loss. It’s new territory and we pray for divine guidance through the brambles.

In other news my Mr. Handsome continues to work faithfully at Mom and Dads here in Thomasville and he is happy in his work. With COVID the store is only operating at 50%, but we are hanging in there and doing alright thanks to the favor of God and the kindness of customers. Today is a Tuesday, and we are praying that more people want to go out to dinner than last week. Last week he had two tables for the whole shift. Takes “slow” to whole new levels, eh?

Meanwhile, we are enjoying our EveryPlate subscription. It’s a meal plan subscription like Blue Apron or Hello Fresh, but costs less. We’ve been really happy with it. Today we had Teriyaki Meatball Bowls with Roasted Veggies and Ginger Rice. It was delicious. Frankly, after 30 years of coming up with meal plans, it’s nice to have someone else do it for me—and deliver the ingredients to my house so I can make it fresh. Affordably.

I also subscribed to an exercise program called Body Groove which is something like Zoomba. It’s a dance exercise and it’s fun. I’m enjoying the process.

Also, mail. When is the last time you wrote a letter just to say hello? Yeah, me too. I used to live for the mail when I was a teen. Now I just text. Letter writing is a lost art I believe. Anyway, I wrote a couple of letters this week with actual envelopes, addresses, and stamps just for fun. I don’t expect to hear back, I just wanted to share some love. Mail should be more than bills and mailers.

You may know we are down from three cats to two. We lost our only female a while ago. Now we have the boys, and Milo is aging sadly. He has become so bony, and he used to be our fat boy. Roddy conversely is hale and hearty. He is our scaredy-cat who only likes Brent (Rebekah’s husband) and me. He hides in fear from everyone else. I know I’ve written about being highly sensitive here and how it affects over 200 species. I am an HSP, and Roddy is definitely highly sensitive as well. Bless his feline heart.

I am thankfully in a relatively stable place right now. Just a few months ago we were in danger of losing our house. Now things are stabilizing. We got a chance to catch our breath because of COVID, and we may just pull through and get to refinance to make the payments more manageable. That would be a gift from heaven.

In crafty news, have I mentioned Groovebook? I take photos nearly every day and Groovebook is a subscription for 100 photos every month for four dollars and change. Every. Month. It’s great because it sends photos—real paper photos, not digital ones I print—every month for me to make projects out of. It’s really fun to have stacks of books of photos to choose projects from. Anyway, if you are a photo junky like me, you might want to check it out.

That’s about all from here for now. Life is good and we take a little walk when Mr. Handsome comes home from work each work day. We “decompress “ and share about our day. I’m so thankful for our relationship. God is good, and my husband is kind.

It’s been tough but good, 2020. Best things that stand out include keeping my Nugget, and my Baby Girl’s wedding which was epic! All four of my girls came together for two events this year: Baby Nugget’s first birthday, and the epic wedding. That’s what made those events so awesome was having family together.

We were going to have everyone together for Christmas, but Covid came to our house and we had to postpone. I am hoping we can be together for New Years Day. Today is the 27th of December and my tree is still laden with gifts. What a strange year.

Speaking of Covid, it’s not me, it’s Mr. H. He’s had a marginally hard time, not bad enough to be hospitalized or anything, just fever, chills, nausea and gut distress. He thought he was over it after day two, but it’s really surprised him by lingering. We are on day 7 of quarantine. We have at least 3 more days. I hope he feels better today.

Our third daughter, Skimmer, is moving to New Jersey next month! What exciting news for her! She is the first of her siblings to venture out of the south. I’m sure it will be a great adventure. She is not going alone, but is following an excellent fellow. Last time I moved States away from home was when I got married. Who knows what else is ahead for her.

I continue to deal with depression and anxiety, but I feel like I’m doing pretty well with it. My energy and inspiration levels are fairly low, especially for this, my favorite time of year. I’ve gone super simple with all the decorations and such this year, bypassing things like the lit stair garland and the trees in the Sitting Room. Hopefully next year will see more energy! Mr. H and I are doing well together and I’m so thankful for that!

Today is the 27th of April in 2020. In three days we are supposed to open back up after the shut down due to the COVID-19 virus. Many businesses, including my husband’s work, are choosing to wait a bit longer for safety reasons. As most of you know, my dh works in the food industry, and they are so thankful to have stayed open during this crisis.  They’ve had a wonderful customer base who have appreciated having access to wonderful homemade Italian food by delivery or takeout.  It’s kept the restaurant busy, thank the Lord. I cannot overstate my gratitude for the provision this represents.

 

Like so many though, I long for the normalcy we had before when we could all go out to dinner and sit in a restaurant. I am a homebody.  I like my house and my space. I love to cook, and I’m happy here. But being denied the freedom to go out is troublesome. I CAN’T go out to lunch with my husband? Bummer.

 

Meanwhile, I’m staying busy at home, doing my reading and keeping busy with this and that. I still journal every day after my devotions, and I enjoy quiet mornings.  I cook a meal each day and I find that to be a creative outlet. I’m currently enjoying these cool temperatures where I can keep the widows open. At night, together we are following a show on AmazonPrime, and that’s fun as well.

 

I attend church virtually every Sunday, and I truly enjoy the freedom that affords for church, coffee, and pjs. I get my fellowship from my Wednesday coffee gathering, so I don’t feel like I’m missing out by having church on my couch. I look forward to actually gathering again on Wednesdays instead of having a Zoom gathering, but that being said, I am so thankful for Zoom so we don’t have to miss it altogether. It’s a weekly contact with people I care about who share my faith, and it really means a lot to me.

 

On the creative front, most of my creativity has gone into our meals, so I’m not doing much on the papercrafting front or photography either. I need to cut my nails and pull out my guitar. Hubster likes longer nails for happy back scratches, but one hand will do. I just pulled out my lovely old classical guitar, and one of the strings has broken. So I ordered some new strings, and will look forward to picking the guitar back up. Perhaps some beautiful  melodies will emerge!

These are crazy times we live in. This virus is the real deal. Lots of people have gotten it and then beat it, but lots have also died. I am not overly informed except to know that the threat is real and VERY communicable. As a result, every red-blooded American today knows, we are not gathering together except when truly needed (Pharmacies, Hospitals, etc.). Also, everyone is washing hands religiously.

 

That’s mostly ok with me as I am an avid home-body at heart. I love face-time, phone calls, texts, and my comfy couch. Also, so far the Animal Hospital where my daughter works has kept open for needed operations, so I will still be keeping my little Nugget on Mondays and Thursdays. What more could one want?

 

I have been experiencing some depression due to the uncertainties of the world climate and fears, but overall have been doing fine. Mr. H has seen a drop in income, but as yet is still working so we are thankful for that. Two of my four girls are dealing with temporary lay-offs. This is tough. It is common in our country today though, and disturbing to be aware of.

 

All that said, this has “come to pass.” Hopefully, we will survive and look back on this time with grateful hearts when it’s over. It WILL eventually be over. We don’t know how long that will take, but I think it will give us all a new appreciation for times of gathering together. I hope it’s over before our next holiday season! The holidays are my favorite, and family gathering is the biggest part of that. Even if we had to VIMEO our gatherings though, the most important thing is everyone staying safe. Let’s live to enjoy another holiday!

Little Person is pulling up all over the place. She seems determined to skip serious hands and knees crawling, and head straight into walking. She pulls up on chairs, boxes, the brick hearth, anything, and then tumbles as the next steps are unsure. She is sure to be an adventurer!

I know everyone says that grandparenting is “better” than parenting. I think that means it’s easier in some senses. For the first thing, it’s not full-time. Parenting is exhausting. I don’t keep my Baby Person for my daughter to catch a break, I keep her for my daughter to work. No rest for the weary! Speaking of weary, it’s tougher when one is older to keep up with a busy baby. My MIL says, “Having babies is for the young,” and she is right! This delightful child is more and more adventurous! She does not want to be restrained, she wants to explore! She enjoys the printer, the shelving of DVDs, the coffee table, and anywhere you’d really rather she not crawl to.  And this child is a super duper crawler! Speedy Gonzolas, move over!

 

In other news, I am keeping up with my scrappy fun. I printed six photos on a 4×6 frame, cut them out, and put a frame over each one to look like a Polaroid. I machine stitched pretty cardstock together to make a mini album, and I am enjoying telling mini stories with the mini Polaroids. I’m finding that I am more currently comfortable with with the smaller format of pages along the size of 5×7 that I can then add to. I do love the creative process.