My thoughts...and I think I have them somewhere...

There's all sorts of sticky situations. Some as sticky as honey, some sticker than sticky tape. The type where even a good scraper couldn't save you. You know what im talking about. Talking about someone behind their back. When you have absolutely no idea they're behind your back.
Its not so bad when you're making a neutral statement, but when you had to go all "Did you see Jimmy today? What was he thinking with those spanking white pants? I know its memorial day, but white pants? With those apple bottoms of his? Boy, that outfit's sure gonna have a memorial day of its own!"
And you're laughing at your own snarky joke about Jimmy, thinking you're so smart and funny with punchlines similar to Ellen and then your friends start giving you funny looks. And you're puzzled, trying to remember if you guys had curry or something cuz they look like they really need to go, like right now. And you're still as clueless as ever, but their looks are starting to annoy you and go "What? you're looking all funny, as if he's right behind...oh."
And Lo' behold, the Grim Jim is looking right at you. Well this is awkward.
My first reflex would be to cover it up. I mean you can't just run off cuz that's just rude, and you can't apologize right there and then cuz it'll just seem like you're apologizing because he's there. So what i'd suggest would be to pretend that you're either reciting your monologue to your friends, or "report" what your neighbor said about her friend who coincidentally is called Jim too. Which is just a nicer way of addressing gossip.
"Oh hi Jim! i was just telling my friends my latest monologue. Guess what, you're my inspiration!" ok, no maybe that couldn't work. Perhaps the "...and that's what my cousin said about his neighbor! can you believe it?" line could do the trick. Well waddya know?
Anything's possible now. I mean, did you hear about the panda who decided yellow suited him better? And it even went for plastic surgery! Since when were animals so vain? I know right? I can't believe...Wait. What's that look for?
Oh, hi there, you adorable yellow fuzzball! I was just telling my friends here how cute you are! Not that you were ugly before, but you look real good now!
I think I should get going before I land in a pool of honey. Now that's sticky.

Crazy people who buy clothes during those sales periods like there's no tomorrow irk me. Although if there was no tomorrow, i have no idea why people would wanna stock up on clothes. You'd think there're other things worth stocking up on. Like say, torchlights, radios and oh, flippers. Am i right, penguins? I cannot fathom how does rushing into a crowd with your arms akimbo helps you get the stuff you want. Besides the fact that you'll give away more black&blues' and add to air pollution with BO. Some people tell me scrambling and rambling's the way to go cuz humans were born to survive. What with natural selection and all that. If that's the case, i can't even begin to imagine how the early cavemen got their groceries done- on free charcoal day. All that greasy dreadlocks and callouses right in your face. ouch.

I think rats have perfected the art of the scramble ramble. That sounds like a wrestling match that the cavemen set up, pitching rats against each other. Probably leading to what we know today as the rat race. But please don't ask me how the art of sumo evolved. That's probably another story. Especially the part where they added rats into the sumo ring to spice things up.