What a great helper, removing wet towels from the drier.
When we're helping we're happy! And so is Mom.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Caught...
...helping with the laundry.
What a great helper, removing wet towels from the drier.
When we're helping we're happy! And so is Mom.
What a great helper, removing wet towels from the drier.
When we're helping we're happy! And so is Mom.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Christmas Ninjas!
We made Gingerbread cookies for about eight hours on Saturday, some of the fun was making gingerbread ninjas.
At least they were fun until people mistook them for sleeping people, three-legged dogs, aardvarks, and body casts.
Oh well, they are confusing from some angles.
Ami practices her ninja skills by attacking the head first.
Melissa goes buck-wild with the cutter.
Tim gets out of "time-out" for the fortieth* time during the process. "We are not having a food fight just because we are making ninjas."
You might have grown up on 8-bit Nintendo if you just thought "double dragon" upon seeing those two.
Happy Holidays to all of our family and friends. Thank you for reading the blog and keeping up with what is going on in our lives.
*under-estimate.
At least they were fun until people mistook them for sleeping people, three-legged dogs, aardvarks, and body casts.
Oh well, they are confusing from some angles.
Ami practices her ninja skills by attacking the head first.
Melissa goes buck-wild with the cutter.
Tim gets out of "time-out" for the fortieth* time during the process. "We are not having a food fight just because we are making ninjas."
You might have grown up on 8-bit Nintendo if you just thought "double dragon" upon seeing those two.
Happy Holidays to all of our family and friends. Thank you for reading the blog and keeping up with what is going on in our lives.
*under-estimate.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Daddy Date Fail
This week was the monthly daddy-date week. When it was finally Ami's turn there was no question on what she had planned.
*Close Car Door*
"How are you Ami?"
"It is going to be a lot of fun to ride the elephants."
"Excuse me?"
"I would like to go to the zoo so we can ride the elephants. That is the most fun date ever."
"I don't think we get can do that at the zoo."
"Why not?"
"Let's do something else! How about looking at toys?"
"Dad, I think you should know I like elephants."
"And I like BMW 335s, but we don't always get what we want kiddo."
*Close Car Door*
"How are you Ami?"
"It is going to be a lot of fun to ride the elephants."
"Excuse me?"
"I would like to go to the zoo so we can ride the elephants. That is the most fun date ever."
"I don't think we get can do that at the zoo."
"Why not?"
"Let's do something else! How about looking at toys?"
"Dad, I think you should know I like elephants."
"And I like BMW 335s, but we don't always get what we want kiddo."
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Look At The Moon!
Part of Maggie's current schooling has been learning the phases of the moon. In the evening before bed, she sometimes goes outside to check what phase the moon is at. Tonight she went outside and noticed it was snowing...
... five minutes later she and the other kids came in to report that they could not find the moon.
... five minutes later she and the other kids came in to report that they could not find the moon.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Probably should have checked for that...
So Susanna fell asleep sitting in her high chair at the dinner table.
While I finished up the dishes, she startled awake.
I smiled at her. Instead of her usual smile back, she started chewing. Then spit out the bit of pizza that had been marinating for the last 30 minutes, approved of the option, and sent it back down the hatch.
Probably should have checked for that.
While I finished up the dishes, she startled awake.
I smiled at her. Instead of her usual smile back, she started chewing. Then spit out the bit of pizza that had been marinating for the last 30 minutes, approved of the option, and sent it back down the hatch.
Probably should have checked for that.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Halloween Costumes
This year...
Maggie went as a cheer leader;
Tim rehashed the penguin outfit;
Ami planned on going as a "witch-a-bear";
But ended up as sleepytime bear, both in costume and real life;
and Susanna went as
A witch,
The Stay-Puff-Marshmallo-(wo)Man,
A cow,
A pumpkin,
A fish,
and a stripper in the night-light district...
Maggie went as a cheer leader;
Tim rehashed the penguin outfit;
Ami planned on going as a "witch-a-bear";
But ended up as sleepytime bear, both in costume and real life;
and Susanna went as
A witch,
The Stay-Puff-Marshmallo-(wo)Man,
A cow,
A pumpkin,
A fish,
and a stripper in the night-light district...
Sunday, October 24, 2010
A Matter of Taste
"AArrrggghhh! Ami, get up here now..."
"What Dad?"
"What is this?!?"
"A drawing I did for you." She said with her most sugar-sweet voice.
"This is not a drawing, it is vandalism! You tagged your bedroom door with a ballpoint pen." (It was actually pencil.)
"I know."
"That is not okay!"
"It is nice."
"It is - wait, what???"
"I like it."
"Ami, look at that door over there, see how nice it looks. How wonderful and clean it is. That is nice, this is not nice"
"This is prettier. My door looks good now. It is not boring like your door."
*flabbergasted silence* (David)
*Laundry sock stuck in mouth to prevent laughter* (Melissa)
"Isn't it beautiful?" Ami sang, "I'm a pret-ty pret-ty prin-CESS."
*David walking away in annoyance* "Melissa, please get Ami the magic eraser."
"What Dad?"
"What is this?!?"
"A drawing I did for you." She said with her most sugar-sweet voice.
"This is not a drawing, it is vandalism! You tagged your bedroom door with a ballpoint pen." (It was actually pencil.)
"I know."
"That is not okay!"
"It is nice."
"It is - wait, what???"
"I like it."
"Ami, look at that door over there, see how nice it looks. How wonderful and clean it is. That is nice, this is not nice"
"This is prettier. My door looks good now. It is not boring like your door."
*flabbergasted silence* (David)
*Laundry sock stuck in mouth to prevent laughter* (Melissa)
"Isn't it beautiful?" Ami sang, "I'm a pret-ty pret-ty prin-CESS."
*David walking away in annoyance* "Melissa, please get Ami the magic eraser."
Sunday, October 17, 2010
This Week's Family Home Evening: Validation
You'll need to turn off the music at the bottom. Great video and message.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Got parrot?
Yesterday Tim saw an individual with a prosthetic leg.
"What's that on his leg Dad?
"It is a substitute leg, because his real leg was injured."
"What happened to his leg Dad?"
"I think he lost it in a battle during a war."
"Oh...
... So - he's a pirate - right?"
"Nope, he's just a viking, he still needs a parrot and a ship."
"Oh."
"What's that on his leg Dad?
"It is a substitute leg, because his real leg was injured."
"What happened to his leg Dad?"
"I think he lost it in a battle during a war."
"Oh...
... So - he's a pirate - right?"
"Nope, he's just a viking, he still needs a parrot and a ship."
"Oh."
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Redemption!
For over eight years of marriage Melissa has endured various facial expressions, from puckers, to plugged noses, from eyes-shut-tight in horror to over-active gag reflexes, from subtle comments to not so subtle group-chucking-on-the-table at some of her experiments and efforts to follow recipes in the kitchen. (Those of you who have followed the blog know of the infamous comments “Wow, this tastes good! Dad, did you make it” and other similar slams about those rare exceptions.)
The scoffers can now eat their words!
On Friday, our neighborhood had a “Chili, Soup, and Bread Cook-off”. Melissa submitted a chili, a rye bread, and a soup.
We won’t mention that her chili took last place and the judges referred to it as “Gerber Chili” and “An atrocity at the table”...
Her bread would have been in the top two, but was disqualified from competition because David was one of the three bread judges.
And her soup...
looked like yellow-liquid poo. Only those forced to be judges tried it...
until it took first place in the soup competition.
Then it disappeared within two minutes.
This was the fourth attempt at making a sweet potato-type soup. When David saw that Melissa brought another attempt, he groaned and made some side comment about wasting perfectly good sweet potatoes.
He got to eat those words. Literally. One of the tasters referred to the soup saying, “It tastes like a sweet pumpkin pie right out of the oven, sitting by a warm fire between autumn and winter at home with no responsibilities or cares in the world.”
Necessity is the mother of invention, and the fact that a few ingredients were missing from the cupboards lent to the winning of the following recipe. Let’s see if you can guess what ingredients were replacements for what item. Feel free to put your guesses in the comments section. Enjoy!
2 Tbsp flour
2 Tbsp butter
1 1/2 Cups chicken broth
1 1/2 Cups water
1 Celestial Seasonings Gingerbread Herbal packet (steep in the 1 1/2 Cup water listed above for 5 minutes)
2 Tbsp brown sugar
3 Cups cooked sweet potatoes
1/2 tsp ginger
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
2 Cup milk
salt to taste
Perhaps we should add "food coloring to disguise" next to "salt to taste".
The scoffers can now eat their words!
On Friday, our neighborhood had a “Chili, Soup, and Bread Cook-off”. Melissa submitted a chili, a rye bread, and a soup.
We won’t mention that her chili took last place and the judges referred to it as “Gerber Chili” and “An atrocity at the table”...
Her bread would have been in the top two, but was disqualified from competition because David was one of the three bread judges.
And her soup...
looked like yellow-liquid poo. Only those forced to be judges tried it...
until it took first place in the soup competition.
Then it disappeared within two minutes.
This was the fourth attempt at making a sweet potato-type soup. When David saw that Melissa brought another attempt, he groaned and made some side comment about wasting perfectly good sweet potatoes.
He got to eat those words. Literally. One of the tasters referred to the soup saying, “It tastes like a sweet pumpkin pie right out of the oven, sitting by a warm fire between autumn and winter at home with no responsibilities or cares in the world.”
Necessity is the mother of invention, and the fact that a few ingredients were missing from the cupboards lent to the winning of the following recipe. Let’s see if you can guess what ingredients were replacements for what item. Feel free to put your guesses in the comments section. Enjoy!
2 Tbsp flour
2 Tbsp butter
1 1/2 Cups chicken broth
1 1/2 Cups water
1 Celestial Seasonings Gingerbread Herbal packet (steep in the 1 1/2 Cup water listed above for 5 minutes)
2 Tbsp brown sugar
3 Cups cooked sweet potatoes
1/2 tsp ginger
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
2 Cup milk
salt to taste
Perhaps we should add "food coloring to disguise" next to "salt to taste".
Random Acts Of Violence
We have been trying to get Tim to stop being so violent.
Often you can hear me saying something like, “Tim! No violence with Susanna!” or “Stop the violence and play something different.”
David just put his hands in his face when I told him the question Tim asked me this morning:
“Mom, what is ‘violence’? I don’t know what that means.”
I felt violent.
I swear, this kid will be the end of me.
Often you can hear me saying something like, “Tim! No violence with Susanna!” or “Stop the violence and play something different.”
David just put his hands in his face when I told him the question Tim asked me this morning:
“Mom, what is ‘violence’? I don’t know what that means.”
I felt violent.
I swear, this kid will be the end of me.
Friday, October 8, 2010
What's The Secret Password?
This week Tim received a password for using the school’s computers. (He’s never had one for the home computers, so the concept never crossed his mind.) This discovery opened a whole new world of possibilities.
Not wanting Ami to get on his bed, he put a password on his bed. He then informed Ami that:
“If you pass the ladder and try to get on my bed while I am gone, sharp dagger-rocks will fall through your head and chop it to pieces, and that will hurt you bad.”
To which she responded, “Why?”
“Because my bed has a password.”
Ami left the room and did not return for the rest of the day (a first).
Upon hearing about this event later, Maggie joined in, “My bed has a secret password, and you will never guess what it is. Ever.”
Not to be outdone, Tim responded, “Well no one in the Universe could guess my password, not even a spy.”
Ami - realizing that now the only non-password-protected beds in the home were hers, Susanna’s, and ours - decided to add a password to her bed.
This brought about a significant moment of pause, as Tim and Maggie realized that they could not maintain the double standard of messing up Ami’s bed with books and forts anymore, decided to convince her not to have a bed password by removing theirs. The reverse psychology did not work.
“I took the password off my bed,” Maggie emphasized.
“I took the password off my bed,” mimicked Tim
“I have a password on my bed!” Ami said with glee.
Maggie and Tim stood confounded, knowing in principle that if Ami had a password on her bed, the most mind-boggling horrific things would occur if they got on.
“And my password is ‘Charley and the Chocolate Factory’, because Charley had a Chocolate factory is a movie with Charley.”
Maggie and Tim sighed as their universe righted itself, stated the password, and proceeded to mess up Ami’s bed as usual.
Then David put a password on our bed, and I know it.
Not wanting Ami to get on his bed, he put a password on his bed. He then informed Ami that:
“If you pass the ladder and try to get on my bed while I am gone, sharp dagger-rocks will fall through your head and chop it to pieces, and that will hurt you bad.”
To which she responded, “Why?”
“Because my bed has a password.”
Ami left the room and did not return for the rest of the day (a first).
Upon hearing about this event later, Maggie joined in, “My bed has a secret password, and you will never guess what it is. Ever.”
Not to be outdone, Tim responded, “Well no one in the Universe could guess my password, not even a spy.”
Ami - realizing that now the only non-password-protected beds in the home were hers, Susanna’s, and ours - decided to add a password to her bed.
This brought about a significant moment of pause, as Tim and Maggie realized that they could not maintain the double standard of messing up Ami’s bed with books and forts anymore, decided to convince her not to have a bed password by removing theirs. The reverse psychology did not work.
“I took the password off my bed,” Maggie emphasized.
“I took the password off my bed,” mimicked Tim
“I have a password on my bed!” Ami said with glee.
Maggie and Tim stood confounded, knowing in principle that if Ami had a password on her bed, the most mind-boggling horrific things would occur if they got on.
“And my password is ‘Charley and the Chocolate Factory’, because Charley had a Chocolate factory is a movie with Charley.”
Maggie and Tim sighed as their universe righted itself, stated the password, and proceeded to mess up Ami’s bed as usual.
Then David put a password on our bed, and I know it.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Mom will laugh if you poke your eye out.
Mom laughs at things that should not be funny.
Family Home Evening time:
Ami was standing around in a post-nap-zombie-near-sleep-medicated state. Tim was wandering around with a kaleidoscope at his eye.
If you don't know where this is going, you have not spent time around children.
In slow motion, Tim ran into the back of Ami's head. Tears flowed. Mom nearly lost it laughing.
General Conference time:
Melissa grabbed David's kneecap (his legs were extended) and wiggled it around. At which time he panicked. Apparently 31 years in his body, and he never figured out kneecaps can move. She laughed as he worked not to be nauseous. Since when is a bone not solidly attached to something?
Evening time:
Maggie put a pirate patch on Susanna. This was not pleasing to the little one, so she attempted to pull it off, only to snap it right back in her eye. She yelled at it while Mom laughed.
Interestingly, two minutes later, Mom ask where the red spot next to the eye came from, not realizing it came from the patch.
Family Home Evening time:
Ami was standing around in a post-nap-zombie-near-sleep-medicated state. Tim was wandering around with a kaleidoscope at his eye.
If you don't know where this is going, you have not spent time around children.
In slow motion, Tim ran into the back of Ami's head. Tears flowed. Mom nearly lost it laughing.
General Conference time:
Melissa grabbed David's kneecap (his legs were extended) and wiggled it around. At which time he panicked. Apparently 31 years in his body, and he never figured out kneecaps can move. She laughed as he worked not to be nauseous. Since when is a bone not solidly attached to something?
Evening time:
Maggie put a pirate patch on Susanna. This was not pleasing to the little one, so she attempted to pull it off, only to snap it right back in her eye. She yelled at it while Mom laughed.
Interestingly, two minutes later, Mom ask where the red spot next to the eye came from, not realizing it came from the patch.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Where's Lisa
All I need for this post is the quotation,
"Is it sad that when I come over, I hide behind Ami's bed and read the childrens' books; I love the Disney Princess Books?" stated Lisa. "You're putting that on your blog? ... I don't think people will get the humor, I doubt your friends know that is coming from an 18 year old college student."
"Is it sad that when I come over, I hide behind Ami's bed and read the childrens' books; I love the Disney Princess Books?" stated Lisa. "You're putting that on your blog? ... I don't think people will get the humor, I doubt your friends know that is coming from an 18 year old college student."
Saturday, September 18, 2010
The Finer Things
A week ago, a friend of ours told David about a grocery store to end all Utah grocery stores, with all sorts of imported European and high end domestic goodies.
And a cheese bar.
You all need to go the the Harmons at the south end of Bangerter Highway. It. Is. Awesome.
If you tell David about a cheese bar, he'll want to go get some cheese.
But first he will get prepared, so he will get two different types of grapes, five loaves of crusty sourdough, and fresh apples.
Then he will take us to the store.
When he sees all of the cheese, he will forget we follow a food budget.
He will sniff and search until he realizes they have a full-time Cheese Monger.
When he finds out they have a full-time Cheese Monger, he will excuse his family to go do the rest of the grocery shopping and talk cheese for an hour and fifteen minutes.
And while he explores the cheese, his youngest daughter will have a blowout that soaks through a diaper and four layers of clothing... yep, she was only wearing two of those.
They have an actual certified cheese monger?!?! And over 120 different types of cheeses!?! And you can try as many as you would like?!?!
When he has narrowed down his cheese selections to five, he will buy them all.
And then he will notice they have an olive bar. So he will try the olives, and buy a few buttery Italian Greens to go with the sourdough.
His wife will come back, poop-stained and all, which will remind him he saw a chocolate bar nearby. Feeling bad for her, he will ask the chocolatier about the different brands and find out that Harmons sells 2 of the top ten ranked chocolates in the nation (including the #3 in the world), so he will buy her some to match her shirts.
The island of Madagascar is home to the Trinitario and Criollo varieties of cocoa bean, and local producers excel in the art of the bean fermentation. Tanariva reveals a balance of acidulated flavors, softened by the pronounced milky caramel notes. - From the box.
And since the chocolates are next to an olive oil brand he loves, he will get the look that reminds him we are on a food budget.
But if you really want the best olive oil for sourdough, get the orange flavored Sciabica's, it is heavenly.
Harmons, my husband loves you, but you can only have his tastebuds...
If he buys all these things, he will realize he is going to need to get his wife some new knives for her birthday, and since he doesn't like buying things more than once, he'll get her the Henckles Professional set, because she watches the Food Network and that is what they are always using, plus a lifetime warranty and free sharpening doesn't hurt.
And since he is a price Nazi, he'll get the manager and talk them down 350 bucks on the price. Sweet! Too bad I don't get to open these on my birthday, hehe.
This evening I learned why David loves some of these finer things in life, we waited to have our dinner until the kids were in bed. He showed me how to mix the bread and the olives, the cheese and the grapes, and we savored a nibble of the chocolate.
I don't like olives. Let me clarify, don't like cheap olives.
That was a good date night.
It is so nice to use real knives.
Multiple new fun mind-expanding and tastebud-opening experiences.
Another one of the many great things about my marriage to him is how he regularly shows me there are many things to be enjoyed which are part of this life, like inspiring books, great food, and excellent music.
No. You can't use my knives. I will not be responsible for you slicing your finger to the bone with their awesomeness. :-)
And a cheese bar.
You all need to go the the Harmons at the south end of Bangerter Highway. It. Is. Awesome.
If you tell David about a cheese bar, he'll want to go get some cheese.
But first he will get prepared, so he will get two different types of grapes, five loaves of crusty sourdough, and fresh apples.
Then he will take us to the store.
When he sees all of the cheese, he will forget we follow a food budget.
He will sniff and search until he realizes they have a full-time Cheese Monger.
When he finds out they have a full-time Cheese Monger, he will excuse his family to go do the rest of the grocery shopping and talk cheese for an hour and fifteen minutes.
And while he explores the cheese, his youngest daughter will have a blowout that soaks through a diaper and four layers of clothing... yep, she was only wearing two of those.
They have an actual certified cheese monger?!?! And over 120 different types of cheeses!?! And you can try as many as you would like?!?!
When he has narrowed down his cheese selections to five, he will buy them all.
And then he will notice they have an olive bar. So he will try the olives, and buy a few buttery Italian Greens to go with the sourdough.
His wife will come back, poop-stained and all, which will remind him he saw a chocolate bar nearby. Feeling bad for her, he will ask the chocolatier about the different brands and find out that Harmons sells 2 of the top ten ranked chocolates in the nation (including the #3 in the world), so he will buy her some to match her shirts.
The island of Madagascar is home to the Trinitario and Criollo varieties of cocoa bean, and local producers excel in the art of the bean fermentation. Tanariva reveals a balance of acidulated flavors, softened by the pronounced milky caramel notes. - From the box.
And since the chocolates are next to an olive oil brand he loves, he will get the look that reminds him we are on a food budget.
But if you really want the best olive oil for sourdough, get the orange flavored Sciabica's, it is heavenly.
Harmons, my husband loves you, but you can only have his tastebuds...
If he buys all these things, he will realize he is going to need to get his wife some new knives for her birthday, and since he doesn't like buying things more than once, he'll get her the Henckles Professional set, because she watches the Food Network and that is what they are always using, plus a lifetime warranty and free sharpening doesn't hurt.
And since he is a price Nazi, he'll get the manager and talk them down 350 bucks on the price. Sweet! Too bad I don't get to open these on my birthday, hehe.
This evening I learned why David loves some of these finer things in life, we waited to have our dinner until the kids were in bed. He showed me how to mix the bread and the olives, the cheese and the grapes, and we savored a nibble of the chocolate.
I don't like olives. Let me clarify, don't like cheap olives.
That was a good date night.
It is so nice to use real knives.
Multiple new fun mind-expanding and tastebud-opening experiences.
Another one of the many great things about my marriage to him is how he regularly shows me there are many things to be enjoyed which are part of this life, like inspiring books, great food, and excellent music.
No. You can't use my knives. I will not be responsible for you slicing your finger to the bone with their awesomeness. :-)
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Three. Hun. Dread.
In honor of our 300th post, we decided to share some of top threes!
Top 3 things we coulda shoulda woulda posted but chose not to:
3- Where we buried the body
2- Ami's base jumping broken arm
1- Why clowns are evil incarnate
Our top 3 quotes from our blog
3- The first comment Maggie made was: "Look! It has the umbrella -ka cord! That means the baby popped out!"
2-I think Discovery Channel's shark week left an impression on Maggie. Yesterday she prayed over the food, adding a plea to "make sure our house does not flood, and no sharks or bears attack us."
1- "BASED ON A TRUE STORY!" (April 2, 2009)
Top 3 things we wish our friends knew more about
3- Goodreads.com (use our junk email address davidandmelissahoffman@yahoo.com to find us)
2- The Church's stance on lesser issues like non-medical altering our bodies (i.e. plastic surgery or vasectomies)
1- Bountiful baskets
Top 3 things we learned about parenting
3- The children are going to do things wrong
2- We are going to do things wrong trying to help them stop doing things wrong
1- God has a sense of humor
Top 3 recipes our family made up
3 - Maggie
Mix 1 part applesauce with 1 part yogurt and add your favorite fruits
2- Ami
Take corn muffins, cover them in syrup, dip them in a smoothie repeatedly, eat with hand instead of spoon
1- David
Saute 5 ounces of mushrooms with 1/2 cube of butter and a 1/2 TBSP of pepper on low heat. Pour liquid off into a large skillet. Add about a 2/3 cup of olive oil and four cloves of freshly minced garlic, 1/4th of a minced bell pepper, 1 tsp baking soda, 1 tsp of both garden-fresh parsley and Japanese basil, three pealed tomatoes (cored and diced), simmer 10 minutes. Add freshly diced peaches and pears, simmer 10 more minutes, serve over your favorite pasta. Serve the peppered mushrooms on the side... And I wonder why the kids like his cooking more?
Top 3 things we like with fine cheese (not the cheap crap but the good European stuff)
3- Berries with creamy cheeses like Havarti or Brie
2- Caramelized nuts with blue and goat cheeses
1- Grapes with aged cheeses like Swiss or Parmesan
Top 3 things we like about living in Utah
3- Dreams of the ocean and sailing are all the more sweet and fleeting
2- Almost anywhere you go for vacation is amazing, because it would be hard to go to a place where our allergies could get worse
1- There's always work for those in the road construction profession because the government won't pay for roads to be done right the first time. My children wonder how we stay on the road when we are not driving between orange cones
Top 3 things we really like about living in Utah
3- Cops harass you for NOT carrying a concealed weapon (true story)
2- Deseret Industries book selection
1- BYU
Top 3 posts from our blog
3- February 2008 "Daddy-daughter Date"
2- October 2008 "Failure apparently is an option"
1- Tie for the singers: June 2009 "Sing - a - Long" & "Mingling" March 2010
Top 3 favorite foods:
3- Homemade Bread
2- Baked desserts
1- Cheese
Top 3 things we've learned about blogging:
3- The right song or picture makes all the difference
2- It is more fun to share the stories in person, and unless it is funny, no one of substance cares about every little thing you are doing right now.
1- Friends read your blog because they care. Others read for their own entertainment. One possible way to tell the difference is to watch who leaves comments (we always review them and those who respectfully request that do not want their comments posted are always left off!)
Top 3 things we coulda shoulda woulda posted but chose not to:
3- Where we buried the body
2- Ami's base jumping broken arm
1- Why clowns are evil incarnate
Our top 3 quotes from our blog
3- The first comment Maggie made was: "Look! It has the umbrella -ka cord! That means the baby popped out!"
2-I think Discovery Channel's shark week left an impression on Maggie. Yesterday she prayed over the food, adding a plea to "make sure our house does not flood, and no sharks or bears attack us."
1- "BASED ON A TRUE STORY!" (April 2, 2009)
Top 3 things we wish our friends knew more about
3- Goodreads.com (use our junk email address davidandmelissahoffman@yahoo.com to find us)
2- The Church's stance on lesser issues like non-medical altering our bodies (i.e. plastic surgery or vasectomies)
1- Bountiful baskets
Top 3 things we learned about parenting
3- The children are going to do things wrong
2- We are going to do things wrong trying to help them stop doing things wrong
1- God has a sense of humor
Top 3 recipes our family made up
3 - Maggie
Mix 1 part applesauce with 1 part yogurt and add your favorite fruits
2- Ami
Take corn muffins, cover them in syrup, dip them in a smoothie repeatedly, eat with hand instead of spoon
1- David
Saute 5 ounces of mushrooms with 1/2 cube of butter and a 1/2 TBSP of pepper on low heat. Pour liquid off into a large skillet. Add about a 2/3 cup of olive oil and four cloves of freshly minced garlic, 1/4th of a minced bell pepper, 1 tsp baking soda, 1 tsp of both garden-fresh parsley and Japanese basil, three pealed tomatoes (cored and diced), simmer 10 minutes. Add freshly diced peaches and pears, simmer 10 more minutes, serve over your favorite pasta. Serve the peppered mushrooms on the side... And I wonder why the kids like his cooking more?
Top 3 things we like with fine cheese (not the cheap crap but the good European stuff)
3- Berries with creamy cheeses like Havarti or Brie
2- Caramelized nuts with blue and goat cheeses
1- Grapes with aged cheeses like Swiss or Parmesan
Top 3 things we like about living in Utah
3- Dreams of the ocean and sailing are all the more sweet and fleeting
2- Almost anywhere you go for vacation is amazing, because it would be hard to go to a place where our allergies could get worse
1- There's always work for those in the road construction profession because the government won't pay for roads to be done right the first time. My children wonder how we stay on the road when we are not driving between orange cones
Top 3 things we really like about living in Utah
3- Cops harass you for NOT carrying a concealed weapon (true story)
2- Deseret Industries book selection
1- BYU
Top 3 posts from our blog
3- February 2008 "Daddy-daughter Date"
2- October 2008 "Failure apparently is an option"
1- Tie for the singers: June 2009 "Sing - a - Long" & "Mingling" March 2010
Top 3 favorite foods:
3- Homemade Bread
2- Baked desserts
1- Cheese
Top 3 things we've learned about blogging:
3- The right song or picture makes all the difference
2- It is more fun to share the stories in person, and unless it is funny, no one of substance cares about every little thing you are doing right now.
1- Friends read your blog because they care. Others read for their own entertainment. One possible way to tell the difference is to watch who leaves comments (we always review them and those who respectfully request that do not want their comments posted are always left off!)
Death
I am not sure I am used to having a boy yet. Everything is about death.
Tim playing house with his Sisters.
Maggie: "Let's pretend that you are coming home from work!"
Tim: "Okay, I have just killed ten thousand ninjas."
Maggie: "Let's pretend you loved me like mom and dad love each other"
Tim: "Okay, I destroyed the dinosaur outside the window, I blew him up. He was going to eat you."
Maggie: "Do you want to play with the children?"
Tim: "Sure, I'll take them with me, we have to take out the evil bad villain guys with bows and arrows"
Maggie: "Would you like some dinner?"
Tim: "After I wrestle the bear with a knife!"
So, I asked him to watch Susanna for a moment. He walked over...
"I will protect you from the invading armies by killing them all."
"Tim, I don't want you to corrupt your little sisters mind, she is only seven months old!"
"I was talking to myself. Not to her."
oi vey
Tim playing house with his Sisters.
Maggie: "Let's pretend that you are coming home from work!"
Tim: "Okay, I have just killed ten thousand ninjas."
Maggie: "Let's pretend you loved me like mom and dad love each other"
Tim: "Okay, I destroyed the dinosaur outside the window, I blew him up. He was going to eat you."
Maggie: "Do you want to play with the children?"
Tim: "Sure, I'll take them with me, we have to take out the evil bad villain guys with bows and arrows"
Maggie: "Would you like some dinner?"
Tim: "After I wrestle the bear with a knife!"
So, I asked him to watch Susanna for a moment. He walked over...
"I will protect you from the invading armies by killing them all."
"Tim, I don't want you to corrupt your little sisters mind, she is only seven months old!"
"I was talking to myself. Not to her."
oi vey
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Rorschach
Whenever Maggie wants to describe how something looks, it is always the same.
"That kinda looks like a peanut."
Pancakes, clouds, toes, her little sister, the lamp, her brother's butt, everything looks like a peanut. What in the world should we think of that?
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Promise Kept, Advil Taken
The year was 1996, the pinnacle of my Mountain Biking skill. Our young men church group went up to one of the ski resorts in July to ride the lifts 4000 feet up, and then bike down three or four times.
That day I gained the nickname "endo" for setting a record seven times flying over the handlebars. I put my crank 1/2 into my right calf, I bled from almost every extremity. I bruised every extremity. I rolled down 15 feet of a 60% grade after hitting a sandbar at 20 miles per hour. I realized that a no-shock bike does not go over eight inch rock walls. I scared my leaders because my legs were more red than tan. I ruined a pair of shorts.
A few things changed mentally that day:
First, I realized I did not like Superman, because imitating him resulted in pain. From then on, I supported batman's awesomeness and psychologically intriguing rogues gallery.
Second, I realized I did not find the adrenaline rush of pain addictive like some.
Third, I swore off mountain biking. Why leave a perfectly good road?
Three years ago while home-teaching one of my good friends (isn't it funny how home-teachees become the best friends?) he challenged me to come out with him on the trails around our home. The area we live in is actually quite a mountain biking hotbed with courses and single-track trails in abundance. I promised I would, eventually.
Today I kept that promise.
Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results.
My friend let me borrow a nice trek mountain bike, and we went up into the hills.
It took me less than ten minutes to reestablish my nickname, and nearly kill myself.
Sadly, the story does not involve any real challenge. He took me to the mountain bike equivalent of a bunny hill wood A-frame. Three feet up, three feet down. Nothing fancy. I gained the necessary speed, leaned forward, and noticed my tire moving to the side, no, make that off the side.
The bike went completely vertical with the rear tail following over the top. I ducked to roll out of it like one would road biking. I came down on a triangular shaped rock which could have made my wife a millionaire, but just ruined an expensive set of glasses and my helmet.
My body collided with the surrounding timber and rocks, puncturing the skin on my leg and giving me all sorts of road rashes. I crunched, and completely ruined my shorts. Feeling quite cheeky, I stood up; upset mostly because my friend took his 7 year old on these tracks and did not apparently have any problems. My pride and other nether-regions were significantly injured.
I successfully crashed three more times, bruising every (again) extremity of my body before the day was done. A bike with 4 inches of travel does not win against an 18 inch rock, and I lose against the crossbar. every. single. time.
Promise fulfilled. That won't happen again.
At least for a few weeks...
That day I gained the nickname "endo" for setting a record seven times flying over the handlebars. I put my crank 1/2 into my right calf, I bled from almost every extremity. I bruised every extremity. I rolled down 15 feet of a 60% grade after hitting a sandbar at 20 miles per hour. I realized that a no-shock bike does not go over eight inch rock walls. I scared my leaders because my legs were more red than tan. I ruined a pair of shorts.
A few things changed mentally that day:
First, I realized I did not like Superman, because imitating him resulted in pain. From then on, I supported batman's awesomeness and psychologically intriguing rogues gallery.
Second, I realized I did not find the adrenaline rush of pain addictive like some.
Third, I swore off mountain biking. Why leave a perfectly good road?
Three years ago while home-teaching one of my good friends (isn't it funny how home-teachees become the best friends?) he challenged me to come out with him on the trails around our home. The area we live in is actually quite a mountain biking hotbed with courses and single-track trails in abundance. I promised I would, eventually.
Today I kept that promise.
Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results.
My friend let me borrow a nice trek mountain bike, and we went up into the hills.
It took me less than ten minutes to reestablish my nickname, and nearly kill myself.
Sadly, the story does not involve any real challenge. He took me to the mountain bike equivalent of a bunny hill wood A-frame. Three feet up, three feet down. Nothing fancy. I gained the necessary speed, leaned forward, and noticed my tire moving to the side, no, make that off the side.
The bike went completely vertical with the rear tail following over the top. I ducked to roll out of it like one would road biking. I came down on a triangular shaped rock which could have made my wife a millionaire, but just ruined an expensive set of glasses and my helmet.
My body collided with the surrounding timber and rocks, puncturing the skin on my leg and giving me all sorts of road rashes. I crunched, and completely ruined my shorts. Feeling quite cheeky, I stood up; upset mostly because my friend took his 7 year old on these tracks and did not apparently have any problems. My pride and other nether-regions were significantly injured.
I successfully crashed three more times, bruising every (again) extremity of my body before the day was done. A bike with 4 inches of travel does not win against an 18 inch rock, and I lose against the crossbar. every. single. time.
Promise fulfilled. That won't happen again.
At least for a few weeks...
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Once there was upon a time
Ask children this question for entertainment: "What is your favorite fairy tale?"
Ami:
"You mean a book? It is Eeyore Has A happy tail I Love To See The Temple."
How does it go?
"Once there was upon a time, there was an Eeyore upon a tree, who was an Igor, they rhyme because they both have a geegore. What is Depesche Mode?"
Tim:
"White Fang. I like it so far, all the things I have read about it, all of it."
What page are you on?
"Chapter five and the number of page 47"
Maggie:
"The Tale of Despereaux, I really like that Dis-pex was very brave about a lot of brave things."
Ami:
"You mean a book? It is Eeyore Has A happy tail I Love To See The Temple."
How does it go?
"Once there was upon a time, there was an Eeyore upon a tree, who was an Igor, they rhyme because they both have a geegore. What is Depesche Mode?"
Tim:
"White Fang. I like it so far, all the things I have read about it, all of it."
What page are you on?
"Chapter five and the number of page 47"
Maggie:
"The Tale of Despereaux, I really like that Dis-pex was very brave about a lot of brave things."
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Steroids? Approved!
For about six months, Ami has looked forward to this week's doctor appointment, knowing that once she turned 3, she would get to eat vitamins like her older siblings.
Little did we know they would be to her what spinach is to Popeye.
Yesterday, upon returning home, she informed me that, "because I had a vitamin, now I can pedal a bike." So she took me outside and demonstrated.
Then, last evening we went camping with some friends, and she informed me that, "because I eat my vitamins, I am smarter too!"
She insists that she is stronger. smarter, [better-looking?] and happier because she "had vitamins and not shots from the doctor."
Who knew?
Friday, August 13, 2010
Dressed for Symbolism.
Last night about 1am we put the final touches into another wedding dress. This dress was different than the others we have made due to the hand stitching and beading required for the intended effect. It turned out good, but I do not think we will be doing any more dresses with extensive handiwork. I am far more comfortable with the machine. I also successfully incorporated significant structural boning work in the bodice.
Here it is:
The Bride picked out the basic shape and location of the bead work, and I recruited David to design the specifics of the bead work so they would be appropriately symbolic in pattern and design.
We originally were going to use roses as the stitching, but it did not flow as well with the pattern and design, plus, we could not get them to look as nice as we would have liked.
David decided that the cherry blossom would be a fitting match. It is far more unique than the traditional olive, fig leaves, lillies, or orchid patterns.
In various parts of Chinese culture, the cherry blossom is the symbol of love, good fortune, and affection.
Intricate and gorgeous, the cherry blossom is only seen for a short duration of the year. Therefore this dress is designed to remind those who see it that the eternal marriage is the pinnacle point in life and perhaps its most beautiful moment. It blooms in spring, which, in the seasons of life, is where the Bride and Groom are finishing. It also serves as a subtle reminder that life is short compared to the eternal existence of the soul, so decisions should be made with an eternal perspective.
The drape beading and location of the stitch work also was designed to be symbolic. It starts in the bodice, mirroring a protective breastplate to symbolize strength.
It then moves to the back into an eternal weave to symbolize the length of the marriage, and finally spread to an open curtain to symbolize eternal posterity. (No uncle Gary, that is not the same as eternal posterior, the bride works out thank you).
Here it is:
The Bride picked out the basic shape and location of the bead work, and I recruited David to design the specifics of the bead work so they would be appropriately symbolic in pattern and design.
We originally were going to use roses as the stitching, but it did not flow as well with the pattern and design, plus, we could not get them to look as nice as we would have liked.
David decided that the cherry blossom would be a fitting match. It is far more unique than the traditional olive, fig leaves, lillies, or orchid patterns.
In various parts of Chinese culture, the cherry blossom is the symbol of love, good fortune, and affection.
Intricate and gorgeous, the cherry blossom is only seen for a short duration of the year. Therefore this dress is designed to remind those who see it that the eternal marriage is the pinnacle point in life and perhaps its most beautiful moment. It blooms in spring, which, in the seasons of life, is where the Bride and Groom are finishing. It also serves as a subtle reminder that life is short compared to the eternal existence of the soul, so decisions should be made with an eternal perspective.
The drape beading and location of the stitch work also was designed to be symbolic. It starts in the bodice, mirroring a protective breastplate to symbolize strength.
It then moves to the back into an eternal weave to symbolize the length of the marriage, and finally spread to an open curtain to symbolize eternal posterity. (No uncle Gary, that is not the same as eternal posterior, the bride works out thank you).
Friday, August 6, 2010
Jurassic Family Home Evening
This event can be described simply by the two questions Melissa asked me following the event.
"Soooo, how do you think that went?"
"Do you think it is a good idea to have the children laughing at death?"
On Monday, after our regular family home evening finished, I thought it would be a good idea to address another challenge in the family. Lately the children have been choosing to become "afraid" of a lot of different things. Things like heat, rain, ants, sweating, trying new sports, watching their sister for two minutes, etc. "Afraid" has been the cop-out buzz word. In an effort to help them clarify their emotions, I thought it would be good to help them understand the difference between discomfort, dislike and fear.
I also wanted to help the children recognize the difference between pretend and reality in the media.
So, I TIVOed Jurassic Park last weekend.
Some of you are wondering what I was thinking at this point. You are not alone.
Ami, Tim, Maggie and I gathered in the theater for a little movie time to understand fear. I told the children we were going to watch people get eaten by dinosaurs, and that it was not real.
Yee-haw.
During the opening scene with the rapter, Ami asked, "Why is he bouncing up and down?" Tim stared with a mix of glee and absolute terror. Maggie sat whimpering, I laughed.
So, I figured we needed to lighten the mood a bit. After the movie introduced the main characters, we pause it to play a childhood favorite with my dad, "Guess who is going to die next!"
Maggie bet on the computer programmer, Tim on the scientists. After each death we would place our bets on the next dino snack.
Maggie laugh-cried as she moved further and further into my ribcage as we watched from this part on.
Tim caught the attitude and idea quite well, unfortunately he combined his superhero voice with a maniacal laugh so he sounded like an evil scientist as he cheered for the dinosaurs to eat the rest of them.
Ami lost interest and played with Legos.
We concluded with a discussion of recognizing the difference between fear and the things we do not like. We talked about how being afraid comes from not understanding something or danger, and then discussed how to address those feelings through thought, dialogue, scriptures and prayer.
Interestingly, neither Maggie or Tim have been "afraid" of anything this week since then.
Roar!
To make up for it I took them to "How to train your dragon." I enjoyed my penance.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Obeying Speed Limits
Have you ever found yourself telling your children something like:
Hey, Tim, stop running with knives in the kitchen after your sister!
or
Our bedroom is not a racetrack, stop running around the house and go [insert one here] outside/to the playroom/to bed.
Well, Maggie took the message to heart and created speed limit signs for the different rooms and areas of the house.
Tim and Susanna's room had six different signs. 10 by the door (there is a blind curve where multiple crashes have occurred).
By Susanna's bed the speed limit was 16 to prevent backup and congestion, her diapers violate that "regular"ly
By his desk, the speed limit was 21... and 9... no idea...
Near the laundry basket the speed limit was 23, the highest in the house. Perhaps to indicate the speed at which they pretend to do their chores.
Finally, by the ladder up to his bed and the window the speed limit was 22. The speed at which he jumps down and defies ankle breaking on a daily basis.
After posting the signs. Maggie demonstrated to Tim and Ami what the different speeds were through various speed-walking demonstrations. Since Ami never moves past 9, the established law will not be difficult for her to obey
Tim on the other hand...
hey, put those knives back in the kitchen now buster!
Hey, Tim, stop running with knives in the kitchen after your sister!
or
Our bedroom is not a racetrack, stop running around the house and go [insert one here] outside/to the playroom/to bed.
Well, Maggie took the message to heart and created speed limit signs for the different rooms and areas of the house.
Tim and Susanna's room had six different signs. 10 by the door (there is a blind curve where multiple crashes have occurred).
By Susanna's bed the speed limit was 16 to prevent backup and congestion, her diapers violate that "regular"ly
By his desk, the speed limit was 21... and 9... no idea...
Near the laundry basket the speed limit was 23, the highest in the house. Perhaps to indicate the speed at which they pretend to do their chores.
Finally, by the ladder up to his bed and the window the speed limit was 22. The speed at which he jumps down and defies ankle breaking on a daily basis.
After posting the signs. Maggie demonstrated to Tim and Ami what the different speeds were through various speed-walking demonstrations. Since Ami never moves past 9, the established law will not be difficult for her to obey
Tim on the other hand...
hey, put those knives back in the kitchen now buster!
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Becoming a man.
Tim saw a spider, of which he is still paranoid, despite having Spider-man as his favorite superhero.
(Which is lame, batman is totally the best - see www.howitshouldhaveended.com for evidence or compare Spider-man 3 to The Dark Knight. No contest. No whining).
Anyway, I digress.
I figured it was time to teach him how to kill spiders, since he has been so exited to watch me shoot the invading mice with our new .177. Why yes, we bought another gun... and yes, I am at two shots, two kills with these nice little hollow-point...
Alas, I digress again.
So the spider in question had a body about the size of a pin-top, and legs that might have measured about 2 millimeters long each. Dinky. Tiny. Infintesimal. I had him grab a napkin.
I demonstrated on a piece of lint how to grab and squeeze the spider to death.
Tim's turn.
At 3 feet away from the windowsill, he positioned the napkin in his hand properly, and then promptly threw it (shotput style) at the spider. No, he had not moved closer, thanks for asking.
I was about to comment on his ineffectiveness when the wind from the wake of his travel out of the room hit me. Yep, you read that right. He was out of the room in the 1/240000th of a second it took me to process what had happened.
Oh well. Man lessons will need to be continued another day. In the meantime, enjoy some pictures of fireworks from the Thanksgiving Point celebration we took last night.
(Which is lame, batman is totally the best - see www.howitshouldhaveended.com for evidence or compare Spider-man 3 to The Dark Knight. No contest. No whining).
Anyway, I digress.
I figured it was time to teach him how to kill spiders, since he has been so exited to watch me shoot the invading mice with our new .177. Why yes, we bought another gun... and yes, I am at two shots, two kills with these nice little hollow-point...
Alas, I digress again.
So the spider in question had a body about the size of a pin-top, and legs that might have measured about 2 millimeters long each. Dinky. Tiny. Infintesimal. I had him grab a napkin.
I demonstrated on a piece of lint how to grab and squeeze the spider to death.
Tim's turn.
At 3 feet away from the windowsill, he positioned the napkin in his hand properly, and then promptly threw it (shotput style) at the spider. No, he had not moved closer, thanks for asking.
I was about to comment on his ineffectiveness when the wind from the wake of his travel out of the room hit me. Yep, you read that right. He was out of the room in the 1/240000th of a second it took me to process what had happened.
Oh well. Man lessons will need to be continued another day. In the meantime, enjoy some pictures of fireworks from the Thanksgiving Point celebration we took last night.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
To The Rescue
For this story to make sense, a couple pieces of information are helpful:
1. The only motivation we have found for Tim is the idea of heroes and villains. He has even adopted a "hero voice" which he unwittingly goes into - a mix of Captain America, Superman, and Jeremy Irons (yes, you read that right, Scar from the Lion King). At the bottom of this post is his hero's creed, posted at his desk.
2. In a family of early risers, Ami believes that it is too warm to be awake during the day in the summer. This causes trauma when we are ready for a 9pm bedtime and she is waking up from a 9 hour (okay - it's really 3-4) nap.
Today I noticed that she had been asleep for a few hours. I stood her up and asked her to stay awake. 10 minutes later I sent Tim to check on her. He informed me she was asleep.
I asked him to wake her up. He grinned and went gleefully. From the other room came the whining screams of "NOOOO Tim, I like being asleep.
He returned and reported that she would not get up. Since I was busy, I said another statement indicative of an inexperienced parent.
"Tim, I need Ami up, please go get her up."
"But Dad, she doesn't -"
"Tim, I want you to do whatever it takes to get her up."
*pause* Timidly he asked, "Anything?"
"Sure, just get her up."
*Monstrous Lego land-arrival-smile, and then in his hero voice he shouted al la to-the-rescue style: "YES! This is a recipe for disaster!"
He directly ran to his pillow, and then beat Ami into the land of the living, cackling all the way, knowing he could not get in any trouble.
Sadly, I couldn't stop him. I was crying with laughter from the hero pronouncement.
Epilogue:
"But Tim, I do NOT like waking up!
Appendix:
True Heroes:
Love Heavenly Father.
- They hearken to what He would want them to do - not listening to anyone or anything that goes against God like Nephi (son of Helaman).
- Do not look at things, listen to things, or do things that would betray their divine heritage like Joseph of Egypt.
- They learn from Heavenly Father in prayer, by reading the scriptures, and by listening to the promptings of the Holy Ghost like Timothy in the New Testament.
- Because of this, God gives them blessings and power like Abraham.
(John 14:15 * Doc. & Cov 59:4 * Doc. & Cov. 109:35) Doc. & Cov. 8:2-3 * Doc. & Cov. 9:7-9 * For The Strength of Youth * Helaman 9-12 * Genesis 39 * 1 & 2 Timothy * Abraham)
2. Love others.
- Most importantly their parents like Moroni.
- They carefully obey their parents’ counsel and direction like Jacob.
- They trust and help their parents and lead their families like Nephi.
- They respect and show courtesy towards all women, girls and children like the Stippling Warriors
- Heros treat everyone kindly like Jesus
- Especially those who may be different are struggle or need a hero to help them like President Thomas S. Monson.
- Even when others treat them unkindly, they respond appropriately like Joseph Smith Jr..
- They treat all of God’s creations with proper respect and care like Noah.
(1 Nephi 3-17 * Exodus 20:12 * 2 Nephi 1:14 * Proclamation to the World on the Family * Mormon 8-9 * Moroni 1-10 * Alma 53-62 * Genesis 7-9)
1. The only motivation we have found for Tim is the idea of heroes and villains. He has even adopted a "hero voice" which he unwittingly goes into - a mix of Captain America, Superman, and Jeremy Irons (yes, you read that right, Scar from the Lion King). At the bottom of this post is his hero's creed, posted at his desk.
2. In a family of early risers, Ami believes that it is too warm to be awake during the day in the summer. This causes trauma when we are ready for a 9pm bedtime and she is waking up from a 9 hour (okay - it's really 3-4) nap.
Today I noticed that she had been asleep for a few hours. I stood her up and asked her to stay awake. 10 minutes later I sent Tim to check on her. He informed me she was asleep.
I asked him to wake her up. He grinned and went gleefully. From the other room came the whining screams of "NOOOO Tim, I like being asleep.
He returned and reported that she would not get up. Since I was busy, I said another statement indicative of an inexperienced parent.
"Tim, I need Ami up, please go get her up."
"But Dad, she doesn't -"
"Tim, I want you to do whatever it takes to get her up."
*pause* Timidly he asked, "Anything?"
"Sure, just get her up."
*Monstrous Lego land-arrival-smile, and then in his hero voice he shouted al la to-the-rescue style: "YES! This is a recipe for disaster!"
He directly ran to his pillow, and then beat Ami into the land of the living, cackling all the way, knowing he could not get in any trouble.
Sadly, I couldn't stop him. I was crying with laughter from the hero pronouncement.
Epilogue:
"But Tim, I do NOT like waking up!
Appendix:
True Heroes:
Love Heavenly Father.
- They hearken to what He would want them to do - not listening to anyone or anything that goes against God like Nephi (son of Helaman).
- Do not look at things, listen to things, or do things that would betray their divine heritage like Joseph of Egypt.
- They learn from Heavenly Father in prayer, by reading the scriptures, and by listening to the promptings of the Holy Ghost like Timothy in the New Testament.
- Because of this, God gives them blessings and power like Abraham.
(John 14:15 * Doc. & Cov 59:4 * Doc. & Cov. 109:35) Doc. & Cov. 8:2-3 * Doc. & Cov. 9:7-9 * For The Strength of Youth * Helaman 9-12 * Genesis 39 * 1 & 2 Timothy * Abraham)
2. Love others.
- Most importantly their parents like Moroni.
- They carefully obey their parents’ counsel and direction like Jacob.
- They trust and help their parents and lead their families like Nephi.
- They respect and show courtesy towards all women, girls and children like the Stippling Warriors
- Heros treat everyone kindly like Jesus
- Especially those who may be different are struggle or need a hero to help them like President Thomas S. Monson.
- Even when others treat them unkindly, they respond appropriately like Joseph Smith Jr..
- They treat all of God’s creations with proper respect and care like Noah.
(1 Nephi 3-17 * Exodus 20:12 * 2 Nephi 1:14 * Proclamation to the World on the Family * Mormon 8-9 * Moroni 1-10 * Alma 53-62 * Genesis 7-9)
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Blisters in new places!
Six states, seven nights, 4 days of 12+ hours behind the wheel in the car.
Stop #1 Winter Quarters, Nebraska
A very enthusiastic Sister Missionary decided we needed to dress up to take the tour. The tennis shoes really complete the outfit.
Ami: "Daddy, I don't want them to eat me."
"They are not real. Don't worry."
"I don't want them to bite me either."
Next stop? California Tacos and More, as recommended by Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. The meat was great, and the guacamole was worth every rave review (recipe on Food network website). Pounding the food quick with your hand on your .45 while watch'n you car from the restaurant window in the hood? Best way to raise a heart rate to burn calories while you eat!
What's the best activity when you get home after a long day of sitting in a car? Swimming, unless you prefer more sitting - on a bed in a hotel room!
Next Stop? The Mall of America. Why? American Girl Store!
Oh, and Legoland. Tim was not very excited as you can see. This is prior to him nearly wetting himself with glee.
After that, it was on to Nickelodeon Universe. Maggie was tall enough to go on all the rides, and Tim could handle most with a chaperon!
This was the straight drop ride! Amazingly enough, Maggie, Tim, and Ami all enjoyed the crazy rides. Maggie's favorite part about the fast roller coaster with loop-de-loops, corkscrews, and other things was, "Watching Dad black out and laughing at him." In my defense, I'm paranoid of roller coasters and still went on the rides with the children. And yes, I actually blacked out for about 5 seconds at the top of the drop-off into the corkscrew. Tim and Ami's favorite was the log ride with its 2 and 3 story splash-mountain-esque drops.
You can see Ami enjoying it below while my fight-or-flight reflex kicks in for the twentieth time that day and I succeed again at keeping my cookies where they belong.
She "loved the coaster". Those genes did not come from Dad.
Now, why did we go on this trip again?
Oh yea. You would think we would have a better picture of the couple, but they all turned out blurry. Lame. Sorry Mrs. Hoffman! I mean, we were trying to get a picture of her hair... yea, that's it.
Next a detour to the Badlands National Park in South Dakota. It rained, proving that those lands were naughty. Wow, that was not even close to funny.
On to respect our heritage and forefathers.
This is about how Mount Rushmore went. It was only salvaged by a six pack of cold Henry Whineheart root beer.
So we took them to see the crazy horse monument and laser light show:
Finally we went to Independence Rock and Martin's Cove:
When we asked Ami what the best part of the trip was, she replied, "Being a pioneer in the car[t]".
In reality, Pioneer children did not sing as they walked, they asked for water and bathroom breaks.
Offensive trip conclusions:
Wyoming: God's barrier to remind the rest of America that unless you are divinely commanded, there is no reason to dwell in Utah.
Nebraska: Moo, but green... perhaps there is a connection between cows and fertilized grass...
Iowa: Irrelevant?
Minnesota: Wishes it were Wisconsin, which incidentally, wishes it was Canada, eh?
South Dakota: Started advertising the Black hills over 340 miles away, and for good reason. They were awesome. Unfortunately, SD should really be viewed from a Harley.
I said "yes".
and Melissa said "no".
Again.
Oh well. Back to work for another year. Thanks for the memories...
Stop #1 Winter Quarters, Nebraska
A very enthusiastic Sister Missionary decided we needed to dress up to take the tour. The tennis shoes really complete the outfit.
Ami: "Daddy, I don't want them to eat me."
"They are not real. Don't worry."
"I don't want them to bite me either."
Next stop? California Tacos and More, as recommended by Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. The meat was great, and the guacamole was worth every rave review (recipe on Food network website). Pounding the food quick with your hand on your .45 while watch'n you car from the restaurant window in the hood? Best way to raise a heart rate to burn calories while you eat!
What's the best activity when you get home after a long day of sitting in a car? Swimming, unless you prefer more sitting - on a bed in a hotel room!
Next Stop? The Mall of America. Why? American Girl Store!
Oh, and Legoland. Tim was not very excited as you can see. This is prior to him nearly wetting himself with glee.
After that, it was on to Nickelodeon Universe. Maggie was tall enough to go on all the rides, and Tim could handle most with a chaperon!
This was the straight drop ride! Amazingly enough, Maggie, Tim, and Ami all enjoyed the crazy rides. Maggie's favorite part about the fast roller coaster with loop-de-loops, corkscrews, and other things was, "Watching Dad black out and laughing at him." In my defense, I'm paranoid of roller coasters and still went on the rides with the children. And yes, I actually blacked out for about 5 seconds at the top of the drop-off into the corkscrew. Tim and Ami's favorite was the log ride with its 2 and 3 story splash-mountain-esque drops.
You can see Ami enjoying it below while my fight-or-flight reflex kicks in for the twentieth time that day and I succeed again at keeping my cookies where they belong.
She "loved the coaster". Those genes did not come from Dad.
Now, why did we go on this trip again?
Oh yea. You would think we would have a better picture of the couple, but they all turned out blurry. Lame. Sorry Mrs. Hoffman! I mean, we were trying to get a picture of her hair... yea, that's it.
Next a detour to the Badlands National Park in South Dakota. It rained, proving that those lands were naughty. Wow, that was not even close to funny.
On to respect our heritage and forefathers.
This is about how Mount Rushmore went. It was only salvaged by a six pack of cold Henry Whineheart root beer.
So we took them to see the crazy horse monument and laser light show:
Finally we went to Independence Rock and Martin's Cove:
When we asked Ami what the best part of the trip was, she replied, "Being a pioneer in the car[t]".
In reality, Pioneer children did not sing as they walked, they asked for water and bathroom breaks.
Offensive trip conclusions:
Wyoming: God's barrier to remind the rest of America that unless you are divinely commanded, there is no reason to dwell in Utah.
Nebraska: Moo, but green... perhaps there is a connection between cows and fertilized grass...
Iowa: Irrelevant?
Minnesota: Wishes it were Wisconsin, which incidentally, wishes it was Canada, eh?
South Dakota: Started advertising the Black hills over 340 miles away, and for good reason. They were awesome. Unfortunately, SD should really be viewed from a Harley.
I said "yes".
and Melissa said "no".
Again.
Oh well. Back to work for another year. Thanks for the memories...