Monday, January 16, 2006
the gd friends arnd u.this whole idea of friendship is pretty amazing.
it's alr 1.30am, and i gotta be awake at 7.30, but i've just got this urge to get this all out.
especially after 2 really nice chats i had.
1 with na, sz and jan.
and the other one just with sz. abt something affecting me quite a lot recently.
well, the convo i had with the latter made me realise something not that important, but just amazing.
the past few days, it's just been work the entire day, then out with some friends, then home to check emails and sleep. so i was not really in the mood to chat with anyone on MSN.
but today, i've been online for a couple of hours, and managed a couple of decent chats with a few pple whom i cherish a lot.
most signficantly, with my darling JANICE TAN WEISHI.
heehee.
but that's not the point.
and then somehow, their connections just kept getting disrupted, 'cept for sz and mine.
so we were left with each other, and then we began talking abt the latest happenings in our lives.
and initially, i didn't want to tell her abt my current worry.
but it just flowed out.
thank god that her responses were so reassuring.
and she always manages to get me back to reality.
get me out of my clouded illusions; unleash me from the reins that have been leading me to places i blindly follow.
it was then, i realised how thankful i am to hv her as a friend.
couple of convos i had with na, jan and sz always ended up this way;
with me feeling so lucky and grateful to know them.
like, i feel that i'm not good enough to deserve such good friends like them.
or rather, i've never felt this way about my friends.
most of the friends in my life so far have just existed for that period of time that we were close.
and that was it.
'at least there were memories.'
my point here is that, it's really fated.
they appear at the right place, at the right time.
like how whenever i'm feeling so troubled, without any plan, they're the ones who somehow 'pop by',
thru MSN, a msg, an email, or a phone call.
and all my woes will be poured out to them.
all unexpected.
but almost always, it ends up good.
and i can go to sleep smiling.
knowing that all will be well.
and it just keeps accumulating.
cos i know they will hv a fantastic solution, or reassuring word for me.
and the friendship we have just gets stronger.
ok. enough thoughts for today.
i'm happy that i hv made someone's day too. u-know-who-u-are. :)
still waiting at 1:33 am
Sunday, January 15, 2006
感性的我刚刚听完了"爱多少早知道"，突然觉得一股暖流环绕在身体里。
奇怪的是，每次听情歌时，就不知不觉地开始感伤起来。
无论心情有多开心，一旦悲哀的情歌播出，特别是那些钢琴或吉它配奏的，都能使我变得难过。
或许这就是所谓的 “音乐的感动力”吧。
sometimes the rational side of me asks,
"why should you be feeling this way? u've never experienced true love before. neither have you been through a depressing break-up, nor have you understood the true meaning of love."
whenever i attend funerals, the tears just come naturally. but it's not as if i know the person who has moved on. but the environment which gets to me.
i rem wat sz said when we were sending off jan. this rather strong-on-the-outside woman actually cried when they were sending off the taiwanese whom they had an exchange with. and that was because everyone else was crying. so the atmosphere was just very sad. hence the tears.
why is that so? doshite?
have we all been programmed/trained/influenced to cry whenever something sad happens?
i mean who determines what is sad or happy?
*side note: i think i may have some root canal problem! :/ there's this tooth that's more yellowish than the other teeth, and which gives me a weird feel whenever i brush over it. please let it not be some serious thing! if not it's a few hundred bucks to get it repaired!
still waiting at 8:12 pm
Thursday, January 12, 2006
A fantastic receptionist...is by no means an easy job.
especially when u have the docs asking u to help them find this file or that file,
or when u hv 2,3 phones ringing at the same time,
wondering which one to pick,
'cos missing one of them which might potentially be a new customer, may mean a loss in income for the clinic.
and then there are the times, when u're really quite zuo bo.
u've filed all the files that need to be placed in the right cupboard.
u've arranged all the phones and stationery very neatly, such that they are all very much parallel to each other; and re-arranging them again every few minutes cos some pencil is not that aligned.
but it is fun listening to the little stories of the obasans and their chirpy chatters, as well as their highly energetic, 'hai!' and 'ohayo gozaimusu!' every morning.
just about 3 more days to the end of my job as a receptionist.
i will definitely miss the packed 'ai4 xin1 can1, 爱心餐' for sure.
still waiting at 12:38 am
Sunday, January 08, 2006
the loss of vision.i'm really quite afraid i'll lose my vision as a result of the dry weather over there.
this nurse that i've been speaking too,
has warned me abt how dry eyes may result in my eye becoming more susceptible to infections, and that i may go blind in that eye cos of that infection.
then my mind started to wander...
what if i really got an infection?
-> it will hurt so bad
-> my eye will not stop tearing
-> my classes will be disrupted
-> i will have to see a doc
-> the docs there may not be able to help me with the infection
-> worse, the infection may spread
-> i lose my vision in both eyes
and what's gonna happen if i go blind?
-> i can say goodbye to most of my dreams and my current lifestlye.
-> no more clubbing, drinking, shopping
-> no more studying until i learn Braille
-> i've gotta re-learn most of my basic daily life skills. eg. brushing teeth, navigating around the hse..
-> gonna be a burden to family and friends
-> i'll miss out on all the visual colours of life
-> everything will be based on my hearing and pple arnd me giving descriptions
-> perhaps i can even say goodbye to marriage and relationships
and so all these really freak me out.
still waiting at 10:45 pm
Sunday, January 01, 2006
welcoming '06 with open armsi spent my precious NYE with sz who was initially cursing the night away, but went home with happy smiles. :)
i never knew that it was that crowded along orchard road!
it was only 9+pm, and all the stairs outside the shopping centres were packed!
super inconsiderate.
besides that, i had to keep up with the fast-paced, irritated, black-faced sz as we wriggled our way out of the crowds and into chinablack.
thank god for the aircon in there, and for the ample space.
and of course the fantastic music all night long.
but it was kinda horrid hving to share boogie space with pple with big movements.
especially those who love sticking their elbows out.
sz and i were elbowing his back the entire time he was there.
and that was really kinda fun. =D
wat wasn't fun was the occassional mambo and rock music blasting.
and before the cartilage in my knee was wearing out from all that moving around,
i had a good time with gracie wacie and her never-fails-to-make-me-laugh sister.
wat a great trio of kids in her family.
hee hee.
just thinking of chicken drumsticks makes me want to burst out laughing.
more imptly!
i've got a calendar with seth cohen in it. =)
yippee.
but i don't think i'll be putting this cutie up on the wall when i'm over in beijing.
don't want pple thinking i'm one of those americanised pple.
yea, my wall will be filled with photos of myself, and friends, and family and myself.
oh, and of cos of cutie moses too.
december '05 has been a month full of me-time and family-time.
most of the me-time was spent walking around libraries just enjoying the peace there, watching movies with myself, long bus-rides home processing many thoughts, waiting hopefully for companies to call me up for internships(of which none were realised), playing lots of maple story (up-ped 10 levels in total for 2 of my sis's accounts), and erm.. just slacking around at home.
being ever-so-free, the matriarch expected me to be available for lunches with her and the young one. saturdays and sundays have become family days too. running errands, going on un-fruitful christmas shopping, eating food that i've been craving for, going to church, going to aunt steph's house many many, eating bowls after bowls, trays after trays of food from aunt steph, oh! and doing odd jobs.(watch out for 5th jan. haha.)
and i miss my 6230. quite a lot. especially when i'm on my long bus rides home, and when i feel like jogging, and when i want to msg some pple, only to realise that i do not have their numbers.
yep, i lost my hp on christmas eve. it dropped out of my pocket w/o me realising, and when i called back abt 5-10 mins later, my 6230 was switched offffff.
i was still feeling pretty okay after that.
thinking that perhaps it was just meant to be.
i did have a lot of numbers inside there that i've only ever msged once or twice. so it was a good time for me to start afresh.
and the pain was not that bad cos it had a huge crack on the screen, and afterall, i've used it for a year plus.
But i realised that i not only lost my phone for smsing & calling.
i've also lost my precious data storage of birthday reminders, reminders for future appointments, ALL my impromptu photos, my 128MB MMC CARD, ALL those songs that accompanied me on my jogs.
sob sob.
i refuse to get a new hp even with the matriarch's pressing on sponsoring me one.
just feels too guilty and sinful to get a new phone.
so i'm using her trusty 8910 which only needs to be charged every 4 days.
no mp3, no radio, no camera.
just good for sms-ing, calling and reminders.
so for all (the few of) u out there reading this, please end ur msg with ur name when u msg me.
TYVM. =)
celebrated one of the first 21st birthday celebrations of 2006.
Ms Teo Seok Hui's 21st. :)
this woman sat next to me in upper sec.
i can't rem whether it was sec 3 or 4.
the house comm kinda brought us closer.
us exchanging our plans for our hse activities, bitching abt people w
that peter pan costume will forever be remembered by all who know u, miss teo. HAHA.
green(bronte) and purple(fry) does go well together actually.
been going to a church recently...
and well, just hoping to see if something will happen.
it's kinda amazing how this person impacted my family so much.
suddenly, moods swing much lesser, focus of weekends are on eating good food, more pple we think abt when window shopping. (which i usually miss cos of band. but it's ok. cos i'm really putting far more kilos than my body can take. this i will talk abt later.)
really kinda looking forward to the new year.
with a couple of plans materialising,
it does look rather exciting! :D
a large part of the year spent abroad sounds pretty good,
away from all the familiar faces, food and places.
doing my own laundry, bathing less often...
still waiting at 9:52 pm