Devin, Rachel, Emry and Shellie

Just wanted to get a post in before the Holidays were over.

Blog 3: Well It's time to come out of the closet:

For the past 2 years I have hated life. I have been really sick without knowing it.

I had to convince myself to get out of bed in the morning and tell myself that it was worth it. I'd stand up and feel like I had thousands of pounds on me pushing me to the floor. I had to convince myself I could move my foot to walk to the bathroom. From this to feeling depressed to mood swings, to weight gain. Then the hair loss, the sore throats, the anxiety. The night sweats, the chills, the rashes and dry skin. The bruising, and muscle soarness and inability to move from complete hip pain. This is just the beginning of what I have felt. I haven't felt like myself in so long. I miss wanting to have parties, and go skiing, and meeting new people, and traveling, and laughing. I haven't wanted to do anything but sleep for so long. I feel so guilty that I don't have the energy to play with my kids, and that I am so quickly angry with them.

All I can say is I can't wait to be better.

About 12 months ago I found out I had Hypothyroid disease. This explains so many of the problems I had been having and why I wan't myself. I started taking the medicine and for a brief time during the pregnancy I felt AMAZING. I felt like myself again. I wanted to go out and have fun and be around people and talk and laugh. I was pregnant or I would have been out snowmobiling with my hubby. Then It all went back to feeling like crap.

I have been having to get tested every month since I had Shellie and the results have been all over the place and we can't get them under control with the medicaton. So this last week I came over for some more testing and was confirmed that I have thyroid Cancer.

I have had mixed emotions about it. I did research before I came over to Utah so I knew what was going to happen and what it all meant. Half of me wanted me to just be crazy and nothing to be wrong and the other half wanted it to be cancer so that we can fix it and i can get back to being me and happy. Well it was the latter and it finally hit home. I have cancer. It explains everything and yet I still have so much more to endure. I had to tell my family and it hit even more of a reality. I wish I could have been with my husband when I had to tell him. He didn't do so good. I still haven't seen him since I'm still stuck in Utah. I can't wait to hold him. Somehow I'm the one conforting him and telling him it'll all be ok. Already it's made me stronger and I can't wait to bring on life. I'm taking Emry to bowling tomorrow. I've wanted to forever and now I don't care. I'm taking him.

Life is going to get some much harder. We have to figure out how to pay for the surgury and all the medications. We have to figure out when I can have the surgury and where the kids can go. I have to figure out how to comfort my husband through it all because he can't leave work to be with me.

It all comes down to one answer. Prayer and our Heavenly Father. I have such faith that everything will be perfect. No matter how much more it spreads, no matter what happens after the surgury, I will always have my faith, my family and my Heavenly Father. Our Testimony's grow with every lesson and trial we indure. I will happily endure this if it brings my family closer together and makes our life the best it can be. I don't think this will be hard at all. It'll all be worth it if I can finally feel good again. No more pain, no more sad days, no more bad days. Just life. Bring it on baby

Devin I love you so much and I thank you for being there for me and not calling me crazy. I know it was hard for you to deal with me when we didn't know what was going on. I'm happy you though i was worth it to stick it our for our family. It's Your Love baby.

Sorry if this was all weird. This is my only journal for our family.

Blog 2: Emry Devin
This year Emry got to be Duck for Halloween and a Dog. His Auntie lent him both costumes and got to pick between both of him. He was one happy boy. He loved trick or treating though, it was always TREAT TREAT lol. So cute. Last year, he got one candy and wanted to sit down and eat it. This year, we couldn't keep up with him. It was more and more and more and running away from me. He had a blast and sister slept through most of it. He was very polite and said Thank You most times.

Blog 1: Shellie Turns 6 months!
I have been horrible at blogging since she was born so I'll try and catch up on her goings on and her life. I have to use pictures to remember what's been happening so bear with me.

When Shellie was about 4 months old we took our first trip to Seattle to visit Papa Brian and Auntie Melissa and Uncle Marc and all her cousins. We had a blast that week. We didn't want to come home. It was a great break from my wonderful two year old. My dad actually had surgury on his shoulder while I was there and I got to see my dad all stoned out on pain killers. It was hilarious. We got to eat at a lot of Yummy restaurants native to Washington and also got to go see my daddy's cabin that he built from scratch. We got to ride is quads while we visited the cabin too. I can't wait til we get to spend some much needed vacation out there!
So this is Shellie sleeping and smiling on her first plane ride.

We also got to go to the Puyallup Fair while I was in Seattle. This is one of my favorite childhood memories so it was a blast to spend a day with my sister alone and enjoy our childhood together.

Before I left for Washington, My grandma came to visit all of us. This is Shellie with her Great Grandma(My mama's mommy).

We've also have started to try and give Shellie cereal. She doesn't much like it.

For Halloween this year my babies were birds of a feather together. Costumes were lended by some great friends. They were both so cute. Though EVERYONE called Emry a girl and Shellie a boy? Do you know a lot of boys that wear white and pink bows in their hair or penguin hair?
We had a blast for Halloween. The kids got to Trick or Treat around Down town, the mall, hospital and our Church's trunk or treat. We also had a church party where tons of food and games were had. SO FUN!

I think this is just a random picture of her?

Prince Pea sleeping

Shellie is a wonderful baby despite her lack of sleep, tons of crying and neediness. She loves to smile and you and hold your face. She coo's at you and just talks away. She says I love you a ton. It's really cute. She loves her brother to bits. He plays so many games with her. His favorite is keep away. He decides what toys she wants or doesn't want and distributes them as he sees fit. It's funny but she doesn't much like her toys being taken away. He loves to give Shellie hugs and kisses and blow raspberries on her tummy. He loves to say prayers with her and hold her. He tells her he loves her, " Hawaii baby" is what it sounds like. SO CUTE!

She has grown up so fast. I am so sad she's my last baby and I feel like I haven't gotten as much time with her as I did with Emry. Emry takes up a lot of my time so Shell just gets thrown on a hip and put on the back burner. I worry she won't progress like she should but I hope both my kids will get more attention very soon.

Shellies hair has started to grow in a lot better. She still has her skunk tail on top of her head that never fell out. It almost touches her eyes in the front now. She just had her 6 month appointment and did not like her shots one bit. She weighs 15 lbs 6 oz and was still 26 inches long. She didn't grow at all form 5 months. She still has a small head, but so did I.

Shellie I love you with all my heart and you are my specail baby girl. I am so happy that I was lucky enough to have you. You're a blessing and complete our family. I want you to know that I will always love you and you will always be our Lucky 13 baby.

Kisses from mommy.

Shell Bell is 5 months old today! She is getting big! Still little though I think. We are headed to the Dr tomorrow morning because she has had some nasty congestion for almost 3 months now and isn't sleeping. He said if he doesn't find anything wrong with her he's sending her to a specialist. Oh yay....

As for the last post with the two pictures........The baby picture is my SISTER!!! So ironic. Her babygirl looks exactly like me as a baby. My baby looks like her? Maybe Heavenly Father switched something around up there? OOPS!! lol

I'll blog more about Shellie next week. I'm not supposed to be using the computer this week.

Now who thinks these two pictures look incredibly alike??


NO really I totally want responses to this post!

Here's an overall of what's been going on for a few months. Some are talked about in earlier posts and I just now have pictures for them.

Last week Devin got his vacation so we went to utah to have some fun. We went to Lagoon and Emry absolutely hated to ride any rides so we took him back to grandma and we went back. We had fun but we both agreed it's just not that much fun compared to the theme parks like disney. We also went to raging waters in salt lake which is now seven peaks. We had a ton of fun there. It was so nice to be in the water on such a hot day. Devin got fried!! It was funny to see.

We spent several days looking at vehicles. We have been looking for months, years really and we finally gave up on finding a good running, great shape used vehicle. We decided to just get the truck that we always knew we'd have to someday get. We found that there was such great rebates on the brand new ones that they were cheaper than getting a used older one! So we did it. We're really happy to have our truck and know that we have a 4x4 vehicle and that we never have to search for a truck again. Now we are looking for a cheap older vehicle. I think it's going to be a 2000 or newer honda accord.

I wonder why pictures so this? It's not sideways when it's on my computer??? Blessing picture

Family picture finally!