DeVries Drama

So my sister has these two pretty awesome kids but we haven't really been a part of their lives since their divorce.  Taylor was 5 and Kate was 2.  They are now 17 and nearly 14.  Time has flown and the kids have grown up.  We have all been busy with our own lives and kids so finding time to fit in people who we have been told want nothing to do with us has always seemed pointless.  I saw this picture of Katie the other day just randomly and it shocked me!  It actually made me cry!  I wish there was a way to let them know that things weren't always what they seemed from their perspective.  We have always loved them!  They have never once missed out on being part of our family prayers, they are both in every one!  And secretly their dad is too.  We all want the best for their family!  I feel awful for Dave.  He has been through a lot himself this past little while.  Although I am aware that he too is somewhat suffering the consequences of the choices he has made in the past (even though he might not want anyone else to know that).

He loves his kids and it sounds like they are really great people!

When I came across the picture of Katie, I had the overwhelming urge to know her!  She is beautiful with a heart to match!  Taylor is a handsome, extremely intelligent young man who is sadly stuck in a really bad place with his emotions!  Karrie told me that she was able to visit with them FINALLY, for the first time in a really long time and I couldn't believe how much she was touched by the opportunity to be near them!  It was amazing to hear the gratitude her heart poured out after the visit. 

Taylor is still angry with her.  We all pray that some day he will be able to let go of the resentment that he holds for her and her past and give her a chance!  Karrie seemed extremely hopeful for a relationship with Katie and won't ever give up on a chance to gain Taylor's trust.   

It made me think of my own children and how grateful I am that they won't ever have to know what that feels like.  I get the opportunity to meet a lot of neat people at my job and I hear over and over again how damaged someone feels after their parents divorce.  I know it is sometimes unavoidable, and life is messy, intimate relationships have got to be awful to end!  It would be so hard to keep your personal feelings separate from your parental feelings.  I know that a lot of people can't do it! Not that it can't be done, just saying that it must be hard!

For some reason I'm terrified to ask Katie to come to a Bridal shower for our cousin Miranda on Saturday that Karrie is throwing.  It would be so neat for all the girls to be able to finally meet her and find out who Aunt Karrie's girlie is!  All the little nieces would ADORE her!!!  I get so nervous to ask her dad for anything.  I guess just because his ex-wife was always so hateful to us (not that I can't say I'm not grateful that she was willing to be a mom to those two sweethearts when my sis couldn't).  I am afraid it might scare Katie away, but if I don't start somewhere, It'll never change.  Right?

I guess I just have to get up the courage to call her!  I have thought a million times that FB would be a great place for a start, but she unfriended my SIL Becky a while back and Beck is still sad about it.  I wish that we weren't a threat to them!  There have been so many times in their lives that we debated just showing up at the events we knew they were at, but out of respect for their parents and their wishes we don't.  Even now, I would love to take Karrie to dinner at Taylor's place of employment, just so she could see him from a distance and know a little more about him, but neither of us would ever do that to him!  We know how hard that would be for him right now.  We get it.

It's interesting how we hear bits and pieces of their lives from random people who know them and see them regularly.  The same goes for the son Karrie placed nearly 22 years ago.  Heavenly Father opens ways for us to see into their lives so that they don't feel pressured to interact with us.   know that our family will all continue to pray that someday Karrie's children (all of them) will give her the chance she deserves to know them and be the part of their lives that she is dying to be!!! 

Love you Taylor!  Love you Katie!  I hope you know that!!!

Love ,

Aunt Nannie