Life After Misery

The weather has been super weird this winter. The weather forecasters say sunny and in reality we have clouds. They say partly cloud with a chance of flurries, we have sun. It's like their just throwing darts at a board and saying whatever they feel like it.

On December 1st they got it partially right. As this storm was heading our way, these brilliant forecasters named it, and I quote, the Storm of the Century. That's saying a lot. Needless to say, there was a run on ALL stores for milk, eggs, etc (although I don't understand what these people are doing with eggs and milk when their power and gas are out...)

The storm came at 2am and woke me up. The wind was whipping through pretty good so I grabbed our wreath off the front door and went back to bed. We woke to chaos. The power was out, the winds were over 100 mph in some spots, roofing was being ripped off roofs, trees were downed, semis were turned over on the freeway, windows were broken. It was fun to stay home snuggled in a blanket and listen to the wind.

As I was sitting on the couch reading, I heard a HUGE crack. I hopped up to see the huge pine tree in front of our apartment on it's side. The root ball was so big it popped the sidewalk right out of the ground. This was a day I loved being a renter.
Our apartment complex had to be renamed; it was Lone Pine, now it's None Pine. Muahhahahaha I'm so funny!

This is the Bountiful Cemetery. Tragic.

This house up the street from us is condemned more or less. The wind knocked over a tree, that knocked over a power line, the started the house on fire. Reminds me of the song "and the root in the hole, and the hole in the ground, and the green grass grew all around and around and the green grass grew all around".

I love this picture. It's a short christmas tree with a loooooong trunk.

I don't know if I'd agree to the "Storm of the Century" because it was just wind. No snow, hail, rain, flash floods, earthquake, tsunami, etc. I will allow "a pretty bad-A storm" and possibly "the first breath of winter" something like that.

We had 5 couples at dinner, a grand total of 10 presents. Oh the possibilities!

Mine was picked first by the guy that I hoped would take it. Just kind of nerdy and most likely to blush and say "oh, it's.....lube." I switched out the birth control pills for condoms. It was fabulous. It really started the exchange with a good laugh.

Next opened was Alex's gift. Incense and an incense holder thing.

Other gifts were a 3-ball snowball maker, dew rag & St Guadalupe candle, lotus flower fountain (re-gifted wedding present), snowman candle & electronic sudoku game, Christmas plate, singing fish plaque, toilet seat cover & mittens, and a "Spring" wooden door hanger thing. A treasure trove.

The best part is when EJ stole my gift; his wife's face was SO priceless. Her mouth was agape in a half smile; a mix of bashful and shock. Tom later offered the dew rag to EJ so he could "role play" later! How funny is that!?!

We had such a good time. We laughed so hard about the presents - who gives a toilet seat cover? I LOVE white elephant gift exchanges. I told my co-worker about my present and she asked for permission to use my idea at a future white elephant party. I just want to say that I allow anyone to use my gift idea, just let me know how it goes over.

I LOVE white elephant gift exchanges. Love in all caps and spelled out. They are so funny. I do not appreciate when people do stupid stuff like a book. Really? A book? Come on. Or a fabric lint defuzzer. Gah!

Some great white elephant gifts in the past: a HUGE ceramic bunny cookie jar, mariachi band music and hat, an oversized box of toilet paper, a pineapple (hey it's winter), a t-shirt of a lady in Santa undies. It's glorious!

This year I am blessed. We have two white elephant gift exchanges, one for family and one with our Monday night dinner group. I am so excited for the second one. SO EXCITED! I about peed my pants when I put together all the pieces. [the group of friends are all married, mid- to late-20s. No kids.]

It started last night. Opening drawers. Starring into the closet. Wandering room to room. Back to the drawers to pull the stuff squashed in the back out into the open. I found it. Birth control pills. Hmmm, not very funny; more useful than funny. I'll keep it in mind. A pregnancy test. Hmmm again, paired with the pills it's kind of funny. I worry about offending someone. I wander into the laundry room. A used candle. Hmmm cubed. Then Alex suggests the pièce de résistance!

I call it "Choose your own adventure"

Contains:
one (1) small green candle that should smell like apples but only smells like burning, half used.
one (1) package of birth control pills.
one (1) EPT pregnancy test.
one (1) bottle of tingling sensation lube. Only used once (it was not my favorite thing)

Choose your own adventure, indeed!

My aged grandmother is 92 and looks and acts about 80-something. She used to golf every day until she had shoulder surgery. She only lives in community housing because she was getting lonely in her house. She still drives (much to everyone's horror. She's a dual footed driver) and only have a little high blood pressure to ail her. She's ridiculous.

My sainted mother flew to Arizona and drove them to San Diego to be with my late Aunt's family to celebrate her birthday since she passed last year. As they're packing up the car to drive to San Diego Mom notices a stuff dog sitting in the car.

"Mom, are you giving that stuffed animal to Lily (Aunt Jan's granddaughter)?"
"No, it's to scare off any people who would rob us on the trip. We're just two women traveling alone." of course it is. And of course it looks nothing like a real dog.

At a pit stop, Mom gets out and says "bad dog, you stay in here. Bad bad dog" and slams the door. Mrs. Do-Good comes up with a concerned look and a furrowed brow.

"Do you have a dog in your car?" Mom and Grandma exchange glances and giggle.
"Why do you ask?"
"I heard you scolding your dog and you left it without the windows cracked for air" she huffs.
Mom and Grandma laugh and explain that it's a stuffed animal.

"Are you sure it's not a real dog in there?" asks the woman incredulously. Seriously? She asked if my mom was sure it was not a real dog. Did she even look at it? So funny, I thought I'd share.

For months I have been aimlessly walking around our apartment, hovering over Alex as he works on projects, and overall being annoying. I need a hobby. I want to decorate but I don't have a handle on our style yet and we have a lot of stuff already. I have lots of beautiful pictures from the wedding that are still sitting in their envelope from the store. They whisper to me every once in a while but I get nervous putting holes in the walls and then deciding I don't like it.

A week or two ago I made coffee cake from scratch. Blueberry + raspberry filling. It was dang good. Even better cooled off. Warm coffee cake just tastes a little weird but the omelets were getting cold. But who doesn't love a big Sunday morning breakfast?

Alex's brother and sister-in-law camped out in our second bedroom for the funeral last week and I made two coffee cakes for them - blueberry and apple cinnamon. Loved it. I think I've found a new hobby. I like baking and cooking. I just always saw it as too expense to get blueberries (freakin $4 for a tiny container) and all that stuff. But as Alex has pointed out, any hobby costs something. Yarn, paint, fees, subscriptions, paper, stickers, etc. Every hobby costs something and it's just a matter of saying, I enjoy doing this so I'll give myself $40 a month to do as I please.

On Saturday we stopped in Barnes and Noble and as usual I grabbed Real Simple and Clean Eating magazines. I love reading magazines in the cafe and not buying them. I couldn't put the Clean Eating mag down. It was the Classic Comfort Foods one, all your favorite comfort foods redone for lower carb, fat, sugars intake.

The whole idea of the Clean Eating is eating plant-based foods or items that are only 2 or 3 ingredients. So smart.

I looked at Alex and said, "I'm going to Julie and Julia this magazine. Cook right through it." I still can't tell if he looked worried or excited. I'm not putting a deadline on it or anything but I am going to just work my way through it.

Last night we made Quick and Easy Fish Stew. I was nervous. Why oh why did I let him pick the first meal we make?! It was SO good! Shrimp, talapia, potatoes, tomatoes, and shallots in a slight creamy soup. It was so delicious. Everything ended up cooked to perfection; I blame the cayenne powder. Someone had seconds before I finished my first helping that's how good it was. Paired with an artisan 3-cheese bread, it was the best meal I've made in a while.

I'll do pictures on the next meal.