Blog de Donovan Tan

The failure at the April/May exam didn't cause me to lose my headache, become an alcoholic or end up looking like this.

I'm fine actually. Just not used to staying at home while others are going to class. After two years at TARC it feels weird not to see my ex-classmates everyday.

BUT,what is worrying me now is ticking clock. Day after day I've been wasting my life. And worse still,my friends' recent birthdays only reminds me that I'm 21 years old this year. And yet,after my 'sem break' I'm playing NFS Carbon,timing the fastest laps of cars on different tracks. Do you think I'm loosing my mind?I don't feel like celebrate my 21st birthday because, there is little to celebrate.

I'm staying up until 4am everyday to do this.

I'm lost. In direction,not my mind. Its the end of May and what I'm going to do in June is still uncertain. I will find a work but when? where? and for who?

And then there is my studies. In my previous post I said I want to graduate in September and now, that statement has to be changed. I changed my mind. I'm thinking about going for advance diploma next May. To study in Kampar UTAR sound quite tempting but then the because I have to switch course the study duration is longer.

In the mean time, I have to demolish this habit of 4am morning gaming rubbish. Games are fun but like any thing else, too much is not good.

All this really, shouldn't have happened. Many have got through the exam and I'm among the few in my class to get stuck. Seriously, it feels terrible. Its like being left in the freezing cold while everybody else is enjoying the summer.
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On the bright side however, this gives me another chance to reconsider and explore more options for the future. Without falling down,we don't learn how to pick ourselves up. So I hope, this time, after this DISASTROUS failure, I can finally start my best chapters of my life !

It is make or break. A lot was at stake. I had a lot at stake and was certainly very stressed out by it.

The result: a lot worse than I thought.

So I will not be going to KL this May. What I will do next will be decided within the next few days.

The only thing I will do for certain is to resit all of the remaining subjects in september.

That's all from me now.

Rain, could fall at any time of the day. And when it does, bikers have plenty to worry about.

The wet road, the strong wind, the potholes, the oil, and the reckless and inconsiderate. A lot can go wrong. Bikes break down, tyre punctures. Sometimes you really are on a knife edge.

Being on 2 wheels under the rain is never going to be great. The cold, the danger. The rain can be so heavy sometimes that you get hit by the drops of water so hard it felt like bullets.

Every time I go through that I'll ask myself 'how many more times I have to go through this?' To continue traveling on 2 wheels means facing the danger and feeling the weather. But to stop riding would mean I have to be on foot !

I enjoyed some of the ride but I don't like the danger. I've been lucky once and escaped with some scratches. Who knows when will it happen again?

Who gives a damn this any way?

An ass on a bike gets to swing smartly. BANG !

Jr lived the USA life outside the USA. BANG !

There are some who did it, you wait for your turn. BANG !

They had theirs, have you had yours? BANG !

Seeing too many bad things makes the world look bad. BANG !

Worse still, things aren't getting better at all. BANG !

6 bullets in a revolver spent.

p/s: You may ignore this post. Just rumbling...

*previous typo error corrected*

Exam is over. I don't know if I can manage to pass all of the 5 resits papers. Of the 5, 4 came at the last 2 days which really gave me a lot of stress. I was on the brink of giving up and stop the suffering but then I remember I wanted to continue my studies at KL, and so kept trying to the very last moment.

Whatever the outcome, I'm glad that I didn't give up. I gave my all. The only regret is that I didn't start from early. The exam agony is over, but the wait, for the day when I face the reality of having my dream come true or shattered, bothers me everyday. I am being haunted for my past mistakes...

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Went to hostel early in the morning to pack my stuff and being them back home. It is quite sad to be leaving my 2nd home after 2 years there. Sometimes it felt better than my actual home.

I'll be missing the life there. Missing my college friends who will part ways after graduation. It all started and came to an end in a flash.

I enjoyed the freedom I had there. Of the 2 years, I think the first is still the more memorable one for some reason...

Although I didn't make the best out of my college life in Penang, but
the kind of life I had at Tg Bungah will always be remember.