Just Some Crap

So, a good friend of mine is getting married. Of course this means a bachelorette party must take place. Dana (my friend) chose Las Vegas... Sin City baby!

The party happened last weekend... all craziness I tell you!

To preface the party details... Let me tell you about the days leading up to it. They were jam packed with fun:

1. I came down with a kidney infection 2 days before we left for Vegas.
2. My hip went out the day before we left.
3. Didn't get my hip "popped" back into place until the day we flew to Vegas.
4. Burned 3 of my fingers as we were leaving for the airport to fly to Vegas.
5. Security took half of our toiletries ... (apparently if you have a 5oz bottle only 1/4 of the way full, they'll still take it cuz it says "5oz". Bastards!)
6. On the plane, the idiots... I mean "fellow passengers" directly in front of us, spilled their drinks, thus soaking our bags and shoes.
7. The hotel didn't give us what we reserved. We got a smoking room with two double beds... oh and a shower that had no water pressure on hot, and was similar to a garden hose when you chose any other temperature. Showering is overrated anyways.
8. 7am Saturday morning, an alarm started going off on the floor we were staying on. Shortly after that stopped, a LOUD announcement came on in our room (little did we know we had an intercom speaker just above our bed!)

Anyways... after all that fun, the trip turned out to be a total blast. (pictures are clickable)








The party was a blast... By the end of the night, Dana ended up on stage at the show we went to... she might have had a few drinks... Ok, really, she was hung over in a very bad way the next day. In fact, she was still hung over when she came into work Monday. Oh, I had fun giving her crap!

Manda and I got 2 hours of sleep before having to catch our flight home Sunday morning, so in that sense, we were hurting too. It was definitely a good time. Amy (Dana's maid of honor, she's in the red shirt) is AWESOME. We love her!

The wedding is June 9th (or 69 as Dana likes to say). I'm sure more interesting photos will come from that.

Peace Out.

=o)

I love the phrase: "Where my baby daddy at?..." Especially when its said all ghetto. Just makes me crack up.

But anyways.

I don't know where my baby daddy at... All, I know is his DNA won out over mine!

But seriously, tho. It seems like everyone is baby crazy right now... especially some of my favorite characters on tv (they matter because they're real people to me). Is it spring friskyness... Is that why people are going at like rabbits without using protection?... (I only mention the rabbits, because apparently they are the best comparison to make when trying to insinuate people are having sex like crazy. Go Bugs Bunny!)

I have a friend (Pam) who says "Who's your daddy" all the time... great comedic timing. Of course she 5ft 2in and the scale barely notices when she steps on it... so, the fact she thinks she's anybody's daddy at all is funny in itself... Well, I guess there's the fact she's female too...

Here's Pam with her daddy... Butch the blow up doll.

Obviously, I had nothing important, witty or funny to say today... Just wanted to make some noise.

Peace Out.

=o)

Here's an oldie from a while back...

Ass... makes me smile every time I hear it... this simple little word makes my face light up like a Christmas tree. Ah, the simple, guilty pleasures in life are the best.

For as much as I love ass, I can not say ass... I can type ass, I can spell ass, I can read ass, I can smell ass, I can listen to ass, I can even say ass in my head... heck, I can even spot a good ass walking down the street, but I can not for the life of me, say ass out loud. I know, I know... why the hell not? If I knew the answer to that question, I would be a lot cooler than I am now... that's for sure. Cause you know all the cool people can say ass and not flinch.

Flinch?... do I really flinch?... well, I have yet to say ass out loud, so I don't know if I would flinch. But, I'm a pretty big nerd, so it wouldn't surprise me. For Example: I hate feet. If someone's nasty ass feet touch me, I flinch. Now you may say, that's not weird, lots of people don't like feet. Well, you're right, my example was not a very good one. Let me try again. For Example 2: I hate getting flipped off. It hurts my feelings and even if someone does it in jest, I get mad at them and want to kick their ass. I also can not flip other people off. Guess this plays into what my first grade teacher, Mrs. White, taught me... "Lindsay, if you don't want other people to flip you off, you can't very well go around flipping them off. Now stop flipping me off!"... I also learned from Mrs White, that its not good to eat glue, pick my nose during class and chase girls around the playground (heaven forbid people think I'm gay!). She was a wealth of knowledge. (She had ghetto ass... Mrs. White was not a slim woman.)

So back to the topic. Ass. You know what makes a good ass?... a good set of legs to anchor it. I'm talking nice tone legs with a good set of calves. Calves... not the ones that "moo" and eat grass, I'm talking about the ones that immediately precede a nice set of ankles. And a nice set of ankles precede a good looking pair of shoes. =o)

Anyways, I forget why I started this topic... Oh yeah, I don't have an ass. I'm thinking of getting ass implants.

Peace Out.

=o)

Haven't been around in a while... But since I've thought about starting this thing back up, I figured I should take a few minutes to walk around, kick the tires and check the oil... You know, make sure it's still functional.

... *kick* *kick* ...

Looks good.

See yah in a few.

Peace Out.

Ever get in a funk... one that smells pretty bad and even though you were only in it for a few seconds you smell it the rest of the day?... It is so evil that it completely contaminates your nasal passages? Just curious.
 
Anyways, I don't really have any ironic observations about life today, because i'm in a funk. (imagine that) One of those nasty ones that is stuck in my nasal passages.  Ever heard of those? I haven't slept in a couple of days and I've been eating a lot of chocolate. Interesting combination that suddenly seems to be related. hmmm... anyways, in an attempt at "self therapy" i decided to post in the hopes of flushing out that nasty smell.  You know the smell kind of resembles  something you'd find in the seafood section of a grocery story.  It's kind of fishy. Do you smell fish?
 
Anyways... Let me tell you a story... a story about my life.  In 1984 I turned 5.
 
But back to this funk i'm in.  I think during this "self therapy" session I have determined its cause. I have a beer... you know the "beer" i'm talking about. The drink you have when you get home from work and plop your butt on the couch. The drink you have when the "world gets to be too much"... yeah, my beer is fierce grape gatorade. It has been  8 days since I have had my beer. You'd think I was in freaking AA or something.   Eesh... the LAST thing I need right now is another 12 step program. The one I'm on for my addiction to calculators with 12 digit displays is hard enough.  (there's one step for each digit in the display... stop laughing, it is harder than you think)
 
I need a beer.
 
=o)
 
Peace Out.

i'm having a mucus problem... i just thought i'd let you know.

But onto what i really want to talk about. Let's play $10,000 pyramid. I'll name off things describing my topic and you try to guess what it is: pretty toes... things that vibrate... resonanting thoughts... love... fierce grape... old words and pretty pictures... blowing air...

okay, i give up. I want to talk about my coffee table. "WOAH" you might be thinking, how does my coffee table relate to anything I mentioned above?... simple, I have a bottle of nail polish, my cell phone, a book I've read 7 times, a picture frame with something that reminds me of love in it, a gatorade bottle, old issues of "Real Simple" magazine, all on a piece of wood set on an old fan box. Meet my coffee table.

Now that you think i live in a dump, my work is done.
 
=o)
 
Peace Out.

I've chosen the topic of butt wipes to discuss today. There are several different ways to discuss them... but why pick the obvious one??

Butt Wipes. things that wipe your butt OR deserve to. Let's discuss the latter option.

I've been blessed with great friends in my life (really they've been blessed with me, but i digress)... where was i?... oh yeah, great friends. So i have some of them but I also have some pretty terrible ones... i call these 'friends': "butt wipes".

In the ying and yang of life, it appears a person must have butt wipe friends to balance out the great ones. It might just be me (but i swear it's not) that if you get rid of a butt wipe friend you seem to lose one of your good friends around the same time. So if you really love your good friends, you are forced to keep the bad ones too. OR the other option is to pick the "good friend" you like the least and get rid of them each time you want to get rid of a butt wipe friend.

I propose the following solution: the 'butt wipe exchange program'. i mean, how many times do we have to be lied to and stolen from (yikes... REALLY bad friend) before we get tired of them? Wouldn't it be nice to be able to exchange one of your butt wipe friends and 'change up' the drama in your life? I mean, if you're sick of your friend always lying to you, then you could exchange that one for one that simply blows you off all the time... or one that eats all your food when they come over... OR one that simply sleeps with your gf/bf? It would almost be like renting a video... hmmm... what am I in the mood for this week?... oh, how bout some good old "she stole my identity" drama??? The possibilities are endless.

I am currently looking for people to join my exchange program. Currently its me and no one else, so let me know if you're interested.

=o)

Peace Out.