Our Family

So much has happened since my last post and we have enjoyed every moment. Islay is 3 weeks old today and I can't believe how fast the time is flying by.

I guess it's time for me to update this blog for the month of December and tell you all about the newest member of our family.

Oh my, I have really let this blog become something of joke. I have managed to update it once a month (if that) and then the post is mostly just an overview of what has been going on during my writing absence.
Which pretty much sums up all my journal writing attempts. haha.
So here we go with an attempt to sum up (again) what has been going on and hopefully I'll do better about keeping this blog up to date (although I wouldn't count on it since I'm due to have our baby in 4 weeks)

To update everyone on the baby I will say that I am due on the 8th of Dec. but I am scheduled to be induced on the 2nd of Dec instead. My parents come in early on the 1st so we are going to help this little one get here. I am really excited about this since my induction with Rori made my labor last 4 hours. Who wouldn't want to sign up for a 4 hour labor?
I have spent that last few months as a permanent resident of the hospital's antenatal testing area. I have had more ultrasounds with this pregnancy than I had with all my other kids combined, x10!
At first they were worried because she was measuring 2 weeks small for her age and so I went in every 2-4 weeks to have a growth check done to make sure she was growing properly. She stayed consistently 2 weeks small until 3 weeks ago when she had a sudden growth spurt. So I get to go in again today to check and see how she is doing. I'm hoping this is the last time since delivery is just around the corner.
In addition to growth checks they checked my fluid levels and decided that I am "low" on amniotic fluid. I was told at the hospital that the range is from 10-20 and I was at 10.7. I have never had any problems with my fluid levels so this info kind of had me nervous. They wanted me come back in after a week of rest and increased fluids, for a fluid check. So I did. My fluid levels didn't change. The people at the hospital told me I "needed" to come back in every week for a fluid check and to hook me up to the monitors to check the baby! I can't take my kids with me to the hospital and I was seriously running out of friends to abuse for babysitters since I was going in nearly every week to the hospital (between the heart issues, growth check and fluid checks) It was getting a little ridiculous in my opinion. So I asked my doc about my levels and he said he wouldn't worry unless I was under 5 or over 25. So I skipped my last fluid check (it was the same day as Dyson's school Halloween parade and I didn't want to miss that anyway) and told my doc last time that I wasn't going back for any more of them. haha. He agreed.
So after a several months of pointless hospital visits and stressing about if this baby was going to actually be born when my parents were here I have some peace of mind to know that everything seems to be going great and I won't have to go past my due date!

Jason in the middle of his OB/GYN rotation and is really enjoying it, besides that fact that there are too many students in this rotation. He has spent the last 3 weeks doing ob/gyn surgeries and really likes it. His call schedule hasn't been too bad either. He has gotten to work with my OB since my OB is the head of the OB department at the hospital and he has agreed to let Jason deliver this little girl! I am super excited about that. Jason has 3 more weeks on this rotation and then he starts Psych. (which is the most relaxed of the core rotations. He only has to be there from 9-2, or something like that, and there is no call!) Which will make our life pretty nice.

Dyson has a new found love of art. Up until now if he was supposed to color for school it consisted of one color over the whole picture, and it was obvious that it was done as quickly as possible. Needless to say, coloring was not his thing. But I have had 2 talks with his current teacher to discuss the mural that was drawn all over his desk! He likes to draw and color. He prefers to not use crayons however. He loves markers and colored pencils. I think he would really like paints too if I let him use them. ( I really don't want to clean up that mess) He is getting better at reading, writing and math everyday. I have parent teacher conferences today so I will get a little better insight as to how he is coping in the class and what I can do to help him. He seems to be adapting well to this new school and the thought of maybe moving at the end of the school year is becoming less and less appealing. I would really like for him to have some kind of stability. He has lived in 6 different house/apartments in his 6 years. But our life is anything but predictable at this point so all I can do is hope that he will continue to adapt to each new situation.

Ridge. There is so much to say about this little man. One of the funnier things that we have been experiencing with him is how he says his "R" sounds. For the longest time (actually, since he started talking) he has had a hard time saying his Rs. He said his name as Widgedon and his sister was Wowi. We have been working with him on saying it the right way for a long time and he just couldn't seem to get it. He could say the R sound but if he tried to connect it to word he would use the W sound. It was kind of frustrating but we figured it would all come in time. We were right. One day he came into the kitchen where I was cooking dinner and told me his name was Ridgedon! I was so excited and all during dinner he was telling us words that started with the R sound. Jas and I were so proud of him. The funny part comes in when one night we were eating dinner and Ridge was trying to tell Rori that her dinner wasn't hot it was just warm but he couldn't do it. He kept trying but he didn't want to use the W sound and he ended up telling her that dinner was rarm. haha. Even now he has a hard time with words that have a W and an R in the word. His speech is always a work, or as Ridge would say "a rork" in progress. haha. Gotta love him!

Rori might as well be velcroed to my leg. Whenever her dad is not around all she wants is for me to hold her, snuggle her, sit with her and read to her. Of course it's super cute and I LOVE it, but it does make getting any kind of house work done impossible. Between the 2 of us we have been sick for 2 weeks and I think her being sick has added to her need for momma love. But she seems to be feeling better and the needyness hasn't subsided. Of course, as soon as her dad walks in the door mom doesn't even exist. haha. Which makes it possible for me to do some house cleaning and cooking but Jason doesn't spend much time at home, and when he's on call (like he was last night) it makes for a long day for me with my growth attached. haha.
I have really loved our one on one time when Ridge and D are both in school. We have so much fun. The way she constructs her sentences is too funny and we laugh the whole time. She talks like Yoda and she tries to talk like a grown up. I just can't get enough of her.

We didn't really do much for Halloween this year unless you count having a Joy School Halloween party and attending the ward Fall Festival. We didn't trick or treat since it was on Sunday, Jason was on call, and Rori was sick with a fever. We stayed home, had a relaxing evening and I sent the kids to bed early.

We are planning on having some friends over to celebrate Thanksgiving with us and I am excited about planning it. I have 3 weeks to get all my Christmas shopping done, plan Thanksgiving, and get things organized for miss Islay to join our family. Sometimes it seems like the list is overwhelming and I don't have enough time, but being busy will help the time pass. And since the last month of pregnancy seems to last FOR-E-VER I'm grateful for the distractions. The only thing that seems to be on the down side is that my morning sickness seems to have returned! How rude is that? I have been nauseous for a week now and I can't figure out what to do about it.
So Rori and I spend a lot of time laying down snuggling until dad comes home, and other than the fact that the house is a perpetual mess, I don't mind the snuggle and rest time.

So there is my life in a blog post. Hopefully I can get some pics up soon and hopefully I'll be better about keeping up.

I feel like I just updated this blog but that was about a month ago! Where does the time go?
We are back in the swing of things here with Jason back and the hospital, Dyson in 1st grade (gone all day :( and Ridge in Joy school 2 mornings a week. It seems that so much has happened in the last few weeks and the time has flown by.
Dyson is loving being in school all day and is making tons of friends. But I'm not surprised. He has always been so outgoing and friendly. He is like his mother in that respect. I never had a hard time making friends. He is doing excellent in reading and math and I am impressed with him every day.
Ridge has only been to school 2 days but is really liking it. For the first time he is one of the older kids in the group and I think he likes being a leader for the others. He is one of two 4 yr olds and the rest are 3.
Rori is CRAZY! There are so many different words I could use to describe her but that one seems to sum it up pretty good. She is talking more and more clearly and you would think that would help her communicate better but we are still struggling with her crying and whining for every little thing. It is seriously driving me nuts.
Rori is my big helper. She doesn't really like playing with her brothers (they play games she doesn't understand) but she loves to help me clean and cook. She will follow me around all day! I love it. Of course she changes focus to her dad as soon as he walks through the door. haha.

As for me and baby. I am doing pretty good over all with only a few complaints really. I have been having sciatic nerve pain (which is no fun at all) and I also have excruciating pain due to my hips spreading. I can't walk hardly at all and I have a difficult time changing from a laying to sitting or sitting to standing position. I waddle like I'm 45 weeks pregnant but I'm only 28! Not good.

Baby girl is growing steadily. In the beginning we were a little worried about her size since she was measuring 2 weeks small. I have been having ultrasounds every couple of weeks to monitor her growth and she is looking good. Still 2 weeks small but she is growing at a steady rate. I am scheduled to have Fetal Echocardiogram to examine her heart for a possible heart defect.
On an early ultrasound her heart showed signs of a possible Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD) which is basically a whole in the heart between the left and right ventricle. It is the most common heart defect and usually doesn't require treatment. They commonly close on their own but it surgery is needed it is pretty simple. The doc isn't too worried about her and there have been many prayers on her behalf that Jason and I feel really confident that all will be well with our little one.
My biggest concern is that if she does in fact have a VSD it can make nursing more difficult since the baby can get tired really easily. I use nursing to help lose the weight (and I'm going to need a lot of help this time around) and if she gets too tired and isn't a good nurser that is not a good thing for me. (leave it to me to be selfish when it comes the health of my baby. oh well)

Jason is doing his pediatric rotation right now and has been enjoying his time there. He was on the patient floors working with adolescents for the first week and now he is in the newborn nursery and ER. He is learning so much and his Attendings have been really awesome.

NJ is growing on us and I am really looking forward to the Fall. It is my favorite season and I have been told that Fall in Jersey is amazing. So I'm hoping to add another thing on my small, but growing list of things I like about NJ.

If any of you find yourself back east or you want to plan a trip out here feel free to come and stay. We aren't far from NY and would love to see you!

We had our ultrasound last week and found out our little nugget is a GIRL!! We are really excited and it was an interesting ultrasound. Eventually I'll post about it but right now we'll just say we know what we are having and are super excited!!

So after dealing with nearly every obstacle known to man I finally have a date for my ultrasound. Most people have their scan done between 18 and 20 weeks. However, since my life has been anything but normal or predictable lately I am having mine at 22 weeks. It has been an extremely frustrating process to get everything figured out and set but I'm glad to have it done, finally.

So the big day is this Friday at 10:15. That is when we will hopefully find out the gender of our little nugget. I get asked all the time if I want a boy or a girl and to answer that question for all of you who aren't close enough to ask the answer is, I really don't care.
I know lots of people say that and whenever I heard it I always thought in the back of my mind "yeah right!" But now that it's me in the hot seat I can honestly say that I will be equally excited either way.

That being said there are some significant social benefits to it being a girl. Right now Rori has 2 older brothers who she tries to play with but they are less than patient with her and they don't like to share their toys with her. And they don't want to play with her toys, since they are girly, and so she never really has to share. It would be nice for her to have a younger sister so she could learn how to share her toys (and her dad) with someone younger than her.
But having another little bundle of boy would be absolutely perfect too. I wouldn't accomplish the same things socially as a girl would but I have a name already picked out for a boy and there is something about the bond between a mother and son. I don't know if it's because I had a boy first and so my first feelings of loving a baby were towards a boy or if it's just the way I am, but I really do have a special place for those little men in my life.

So in a couple of days I'll be off to find out if we are going pink or blue. I've added a poll on the sidebar so be sure to cast your vote. The voting ends on Friday at 11:30ish my time. And I'll post the results as soon as I get home.

Disclaimer: This post is about potty training. If you don't want to know all about Rori learning to use the toilet may I suggest skipping this post. I wrote this mostly for me to remember since my brain has been getting more and more befuddled over the years.


I tried to write this post as a story with the "Once Upon a Time" line, but I am not good at writing fairy tales and this has been anything but a dream come true. haha.

A couple of weeks ago Rori started taking her diaper off during her naps and night time. It was such a mess. I have no idea if she took them off before or after she slept but either way when I went to get her out of her bed she would be nude and her bed would be wet! It was not a fun thing and I started making sure she had pants on when she went to sleep (the AC in the kids room cools down the room but it can still be kind of hot so I was letting her sleep in just her diaper so she wouldn't get too hot) Then after a few days she figured out how to take off her pants too!! ARG, I was so frustrated. So I started putting onesies on her instead. I figured she couldn't get the snaps undone and so she would have to stay dressed. Victory! It worked. I was able to put her to bed in minimal clothes to keep her cool and she was staying dressed. No more soiled sheets for me to wash.
However, I quickly found a downside to my solution. Rori started getting little red sores on her bum. :( As it turned out, having the moisture on her bottom for any length of time gave her a rash that was really sore for her and that is why she started taking her diaper off in the first place. Sad day.
My options were not looking good. I either had to let her suffer (not going to happen) change her diaper immediately after she peed, or potty train her. None of those options seemed particularly appealing but I couldn't come up with anything other options.
At first I tried the changing the diaper thing but I never knew when she was wet and she would inevitably remover her diaper during the day and pee on my floor! She really didn't like having a wet diaper on and I can understand that, but I really don't like mopping pee off the floor 12 times a day either.
So, after a week or so of having little miss nudey pants strip several times a day and pee on my floor I decided to put some underwear on her to see how she would do. I figured if she was going to be peeing on my floor even if I put a diaper on her I could at least give her the chance to go where she was supposed to.
This was such a spontaneous thing that for the first couple of days we were doing it she had to wear Ridge's underwear.
We started on a Sat. afternoon and she did pretty good, only 1 accident. The next day was Sunday and I was subbing in nursery, Jas was on call at the hospital and I knew there was no way I could handle day 2 of potty training on my own so we diapered up for church and did undies when we got home. No accidents on Sunday. then on Monday, a whole day without any accidents!!!!
This is amazing to me. Potty training the boys was pretty easy for me. But they were 2 1/2. Rori won't be 2 until Oct.
Since starting this journey we have had several perfect days and only a few accidents at all. She took to it right away and can even pull herself away from a movie or a game to run to the potty.
I was really hesitant to start this process because I am still occasionally sick and constantly exhausted. Potty training is a lot of work for the mom ( all you who have been through it know what I'm mean) and I didn't want to do all this work just to have her revert when the baby is born. But since we started using panties she hates wearing diapers. I still make her wear one to bed and nap and she is a pretty good sport about it, but as soon as she is awake she wants to use the potty and get her panties on again.
I have hear over and over again the girls are easier to train the boys and I was really skeptical because my boys really were easy to train, but I think I may be a believer.
Yeah for Rori!

I don't know why, but this pregnancy has brought on more migraine headaches than I have ever had in my life. Even small headaches are so debilitating to me and when you add sensitivity to light and sound and nausea it makes my life almost unbearable. Considering the fact that I live with 3 small people who are gifted in the noise making department I'm sure you can see how a migraine could be a bad thing. Add in the fact that I'm still prone to praying to the porcelain god daily and I don't want to move.
With the other pregnancies I would get a few headaches but these are worse and Way more frequent.
I'm done complaining....for now.
Hopefully these headaches stop soon. I don't know if I can take much more!

I was sitting here thinking about what I needed to get done today and I realized I need to do laundry. A sense of dread came over me and I wondered why laundry was such a loathsome task.
And I have figured it out.
I hate laundry day because right now all the clean laundry is ironed, folded and put away. All the dirty clothes are piled in baskets in the bedrooms. And there is no laundry on the floor. Even though the laundry in the baskets is dirty, they aren't making a mess of my house.
Now fast forward to when all the laundry has been washed. Now all the baskets are full of fresh laundry that must be folded (I don't like doing this) or ironed (really don't like doing this.)
Once I get around to folding the laundry I look around and all of a sudden all my laundry is on the floor needing to be put away and heaven knows it takes me a good couple of day to get around to putting laundry away! It usually ends up folded in a basket on the floor since I can't stand to have clothes all over the floor.

So while my house is clean now and all the dirty clothes are tucked safely away in their baskets, as soon as the washing and drying are done it is inevitable that it will end up all over my floor.

Now I'm sure most of you are thinking "Why don't you just put the clothes away once you get them folded?" Of course this would be the logical resolution to my problem. However, there are some things that I just really HATE doing and putting away clean clothes is one of them. (putting away clean dishes is another. I'm seeing a pattern... hmm) With 3 kids I usually get distracted and I have a hard time getting focused on the task again since I didn't really want to be doing it in the first place.

Oh, well. The laundry must be done and I am the one who must do it. So here's to hoping I can get it all washed, dried, folded and put away, all in one day.

The kids are watching Igor in the other room and if you don't know what it's about, it's about an Igor who creates a living monster to compete in the Evil Science Fair.
When Igor first proclaims that he is creating this monster he says he is "creating life. Living, breathing life. That can destroy all on it's own."
As an after thought to this I've decided that I am in fact an evil scientist. I have created life 3 times and working on the 4th and believe me, they are capable of destroying just about anything all on their own.

So although I am not claiming to be an Igor, I am pretty sure I'm an Evil Scientist! MWAHAHAHAHA (that's my evil laugh in case you were wondering)

So today has not been the best and it's my nature to write down all the terrible things that are going on. Because I do this I'm sure I come across as an unhappy, miserable person. This however is not true. Today has been really rough but to show you all that I'm not nearly as negative as I usually sound I'm going to make a list of all the things that are great about NJ. (I'll be surprised if it's a very long list though. haha)
So here it goes....

1. I am queen of my castle. Other than the few years we lived in Grenada we have lived with family since we've had kids. We really enjoyed living with family but we all have to grow up sometime and we are enjoying being our own little family in NJ.

2. Lots of parks. Every town or township has several huge parks. Each one offers something different and fun. We even found a sprayground. It's like running through fancy sprinklers.

3. Friends for the kids. Although when we lived in Woods Cross we had some great neighbors and good friends, Dyson finally has a friend that is his exact age at church. The other kids were always older than him but now he has a best friend that is in his same grade and he loves it. Poor Ridge though is the only boy in his primary class. He says none of the girls are pretty and I'm the only pretty girl at church. (I of course think this is the sweetest thing EVER!!)

4. Our apartment and Landlord are really great. This is our 4th apartment we have rented since we got married and we are split 2 and 2 for good and bad on the landlord front. It only takes having 1 bad landlord for you to appreciate and desire a good one. George is super great and is very prompt with fixing things that need fixing. The apartment has tons of character with lots of wood trim. (it even has wooden door knobs.) I know I haven't posted pics yet and who knows if I ever will.

5. The Beach. Although it is commonly called The Shore and it is nothing like the beaches in Grenada, we still enjoy going. The water is a little colder and the drive is significantly longer ( an hour or so here verses 2 min in Grenada) it still offers the same relaxing sounds and cooler temps.


I am going to stop there because it took me long enough to come up with those. haha.
This was really refreshing for me. Making a list of positive things is so hard for me to do when I'm having a day like today and it was nice to focus on a few (very few) of the things that I do enjoy.

I'm pretty sure my little peanut has super human strength. Last night I got to feel the little kicks for the first time and it was amazing. No matter how many times I've gone through it before there is nothing like feeling that little person kicking you for the first time. I was just as excited last night as I was when I felt Dyson's first movements over 6 years ago.
Of course simply feeling the kicks from the inside would not justify my claim to super human strength but what if I told you that Jason could feel them with his hand? I'm only 17 weeks and Jason could feel the spontaneous and supratic kicks of the little one with his hand. I was pretty amazed and so was he.
We don't know what the gender is yet (we'd actually have to go to a doctor to find that out) but I'm sure baby Johnson is practicing either some excellent dance moves or some serious soccer kicks.

Feeling the baby move last night was such a blessing in more ways than one. Of course any mom to be will tell you that feeling those first movements create a moment so special that I can only describe it as a blessing from heaven. But this time it meant something even more significant. Since we have been having some insurance issues with us moving out here I haven't been able to see a doctor yet. I have been a little anxious and it's been extremely hard to not know if there is a heartbeat and if the baby is growing properly. I was having some concerns and I think my imagination was getting the best of me but still, the fears were real to me. So feeling the baby last night meant to me, that the baby was in fact growing and getting stronger.

We are now getting ready for the 4th of July weekend and we are lucky enough to have Jason home with us Sat and Sun. He is on call on Monday but at least he isn't on call on Saturday when all the fireworks are.
We don't have any special plans and since we don't have a bbq grill there will be no grilling for us. Sad day.
I've been having trouble finding out where all the festivities are out here and I'm hoping to come across something or else we are going to have a really boring 4th. We can't even buy fireworks because it is illegal to buy, sell, or possess any fireworks, including sparklers, without a permit. I'm not sure how you get a permit but I wouldn't be surprised if they were super expensive.
Last night we had some neighbors who though it would be a great idea to set of some fireworks, or firecrackers rather, at some unknown hour in the middle of the night. It scared scared me to the crap (as Ridge would say) and after about 10 -15 explosions that sounded like gun fire, we had a cop show up and that was the end of that.
It was an eventful night to say the least.

My day usually consists of periods of extreme productivity and periods filled with the desire to do fun things, which usually undoes all of my hard work. haha.
The routine of my day was pretty regular and I could count on myself being motivated to clean and accomplish important tasks in the morning after breakfast. I would get up, feed myself and the kids. Clean up breakfast and do other chores around the house. Followed by a bath for the kids and a shower for me. We would all get ready for the day and by this time it was usually nap time for at least one of the kids and lunch for the rest. After lunch however I seem to lose my desire to do anything that even resembled work and it was time for movies, games, baking treats (although I don't bake that much, haha) reading or just playing around. This stage would last until it was time to make dinner, in which case I would rally my strength to stop having fun and do the duty of making food for the indians. After dinner of course I would not do the dishes (they would patiently wait for me to wash them with the breakfast dishes. Aren't they nice?) and would veg with the hubby and kids until bed time.
It was a routine that I have enjoyed and grew accustomed to over the years. It suited me nicely and although many of my friends can't stand to go to bed where there is work to be done, I am not that way and leaving dishes in the sink or laundry to be folded did in no way interfere with my ability to fall asleep.
Lately, however, I am noticing a change to the pattern that my life has followed for as long as I can remember. The mornings these days come so very early. Jason's alarm goes off at a painful 4:30 and I can't help but hear it since I am laying right next to him. It doesn't help that I'm usually up half the night going to the bathroom anyway. Once I am awake I have to eat, since this baby insists on starting me on the "every 2 hour" feeding program early. I can then doze a little before Jason has to leave (by 6:30 most days and 5:30 2 days a week) at which time he kisses me goodbye. The kids are usually bouncing down the stairs between 6:00 and 6:30 and after that there seems to be no rest for the wicked.
I drag myself out of bed to fix the kids their breakfast and to have second breakfast myself, and get Rori's diaper changed. At this point instead of following my usual course and clean up breakfast and begin my whirlwind tour of cleaning, I find myself dragging back into bed where I read until I fall back asleep.
I have been so tired in the mornings that I can barely keep my eyes open. Today I had 2 naps before 11:00, and that is not unusual these days. I know I really shouldn't use the TV as much as I have but right now it is saving my bacon. I am usually out until lunch time and during the afternoon I am able to gather enough energy to accomplish some of what needs to be done. Of course there is usually a big mess waiting for me since poor Rori has been left to her own devices as to how to spend her time. We've had some fun messes to clean up.
I remember being tired when I was pregnant with the other kids but my memory never does it justice. I think it's unfair that I can remember being tired but the reality of it is somehow not projected in those memories.
So I am trying to adjust my way of thinking about my day and how things are to run in our house. If you come over in the morning you will find us in complete disarray with a very long list of to-dos. I most likely will not be showered ( I don't usually get to that until after lunch) and the kids will be in their pajamas.
But feel free to join us in the afternoon when I've had a chance to get things under control.
The last few weeks I have been struggling with balancing my life and I couldn't figure out why but while I was doing the dishes today I realized the difficulties I was having were because my routine was mixed up and I was trying to make it work. Now that I know what's going on I have adapted my thinking and I think life is going to work out a bit better.

I'm almost half way done with this pregnancy and I can hardly believe it. Sometimes it seems like the days are flying by. But then I look forward to everything that will happen before this baby comes and it seems like I still have such a long way to go.
Dyson will start 1st grade, Rori's 2nd birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving... and then baby right before Christmas.
It has been really nice to have Jason around (as much as he can be) during this pregnancy. Of course he was right there during the first 2 but was almost completely out of the picture for Rori, since he was in another country. Every time we go through this it seems to get a little harder to balance my time between all the kids and time I spend praying to the porcelain god. The kids are super patient with me of course, especially the boys. Rori thinks that every time you go into the bathroom you have to spit into the toilet. It's pretty funny but it sure paints a picture of what I do all day.
The nausea is continuing and that is no big surprise to anyone. It has been a little easier to control and only seems to get really bad if I wait to long to eat.
I'm getting to that point where my pants aren't quite fitting right but I'm pretty sure that my growing belly isn't totally to blame. It might be time to start working off some of the snacks that I have to continually eat so I don't get sick.

The kids are I are adjusting to life in NJ. I wouldn't say that I love it here but things are starting to be a little less confusing and we are getting into a good routine. We have a really great ward and there are some really awesome people in it. Dyson and Ridge have made some great friends and they beg to play with them nearly every day.
Jason is settling in to the routine of getting up at 4:30 am to get ready and catch the bus each morning. He has been going to bed around 8:30 pm which cuts down on our time together considerably but at least he's home to snuggle with. He is really enjoying the time in the hospital and is absorbing as much info as he can. He comes home some days and feels like he doesn't know anything but I think they do that to the Med Students on purpose. He amazes me every day with his ability to push on. I know that if I went to "work" every day and was told all the things I didn't know, pretty sure I'd want to stop going, but not Jason. He gets up every day and is excited to see what is in store for him.

Rori is the funniest kid I've ever known. She makes me laugh every day and she is saying more and more words. Of course she needs a translator so outsiders can understand her but she is teaching me her language as quickly as I can learn it. She loves to have her hair in Poeys. (ponies) She is such a girl. Every day after her bath she sits on my lap and we do ponies. She can't stand to have her hair in her face (just like her mom) and we have to spray her hair with hair spray when we are done or she gets very upset.
She likes to give kisses but she loves to lick your face. She is such a sneaky thing too. She will come up to me with her lips puckered like she wants to kiss me and as soon as she gets close enough she licks my whole cheek!! She is such a pill sometimes.
Her big thing lately has been to "shop." She will get her shopping cart and put her Bob (stuffed frog) and put him in too and come to whichever room I'm in and tell me "Bye, I shop" she will say bye to me until I say bye to her and then she walks around the house. Then she will come back and say "Hello." She is super cute.

Ridge I feel is still trying to find his way and his place. He is the middle child and sometimes I think he doesn't know where he fits in. He plays with Dyson of course and even with Dyson's friends but he really doesn't have any friends of his own. All the kids in his primary class are girls and he isn't quite into playing with them yet. He is a big sweet heart though. He is my snuggle bug and I can get him to give me loves just about any time of day.
He struggles with Rori a bit. I think there is a bit of jealousy.

Dyson is such a care giver. He is always looking out for his brother and sister. Don't get me wrong, they certainly have their fights but for the most part Dyson looks after them and protects them from other people being mean to them and from them getting hurt. He has so much love for them and you can see it in everything he does for them. Dyson is so much like his dad and it makes my heart so happy to him emulating such a great man.

Jason is a great man. There is nobody else in the world like him and I am so lucky to have him as my husband. There is no one on earth who could fit into my life like he does, or love me like he does. He was made just for me. He is such a devoted father and my kids are so blessed to have a dad who adores them like Jason does.
My heart swells to overflowing when I think about the life we have made together. Things have not gone exactly according to the plan we first made when we were engaged but it has turned out so much better in lots of ways. I wish I were better with words so I could explain how I feel about this great man. We all have very special feelings where our spouses are concerned and I am no different. Of course I feel like my feelings are so unique that there is no other love out there like what Jason and I have and in a sense that is true. Where Jason and I are unique from everyone else so is our love.

I feel so blessed to have so many wonderful things in my life right now and I am trying to stay positive during the not so wonderful things. Learning to let go of the unimportant events and make sure my kids know how much I love them every day is what I am striving for.

Today I am claiming a few small victories.
Thanks to some great FB friends I was reminded about a website devoted to the early learning of kids called www.starfall.com . Of course I knew about that site and have actually used it before. I just haven't used it for a while and had forgotten about it. So today I sat Ridge down at my computer and had him select which ever letters he wanted and I left the room. After yesterday's disastrous attempt at letter learning I thought it would be best if he did some independent study. And it seemed to go good. Not that he was really learning anything but at least he is getting some visualization of the concepts I was trying to teach him. I think he may be a visual learner and having me sit there and tell him things wasn't working. When we were trying to think of words that start with the letter L he would look around the room to find something. So I think having pictures for him to look at will help. I'm hoping that after a while of using the website it will start to come together and he will be able to make some progress. So thanks to all the friends who reminded me.
That is victory number 1. Sad to say but I'm claiming getting Ridge to sit at a computer to learn letters a victory.
Victory number 2 is that Rori peed on the potty today!! Lately she has had a serious fascination with the toilet and my bathroom has had several moppings due to her water splashing. So I decided I would put her curiosity to use. I haven't been feeling super well and haven't started a really legitimate attempt at potty training, but I thought I should introduce her to what the toilet is really for. We have sat on the potty several times and she really likes it (we got her a princess potty seat) but she had yet to do anything really productive while sitting there. Then today after her bath I asked her if she wanted to go potty and of course she said yes. (she always does) and I put her on the seat and let her sit there for a min. I wasn't really expecting anything but pretty soon I hear a tinkle and got super excited!! The next few minutes were filled with shouts of "Yipee!" and "Yeah for Rori!" there was also a fair amount of clapping and even a little dance when she got down.
I decided to put her in some panties just to see how it would go, and our victory was quickly followed up with her peeing all over my floor.
We were getting ready to go to the park so we went back into diapers and ran off to the play ground where we had a fabulous time playing with our friends.
So although I haven't jumped into the potty training with 2 feet we are at least experimenting and we have one small victory to claim.
Dyson has really began to blossom in his reading too. He amazes me every day with the things he is reading. (This may be part of my problem with Ridge, perhaps I expect too much of him. I may be comparing him to Dyson too much) He can read his numbers written out (ie. sixteen, fourteen) all the way up to the number twenty. He has been working in a work book for 1st graders and is doing amazingly well. He has such a great personality and keeps me laughing everyday.
He loves to sing and dance and the games he plays with Ridge are so hilarious to listen too.

Yesterday was one of those days that can really get someone down but are an important part of life. If you never experience the frustration and disappointment then you can never really appreciate the victories and successes.
Today was victorious and successful.
I love being a mom. There really is no other job like it.

I have spent a good deal of today crying. (I know that's not a cheery way to start a post, but It's true) It seems that when it rains it pours at my house and after an eventful day yesterday, with the dumping of pepper all over the kitchen, toilet water all over the bathroom and Styrofoam all over the house, today was just enough to make me feel like a failure of mom.

When Dyson was little he was really quick to learn. He spoke early, he learned his ABC's quickly, and he walked young. I knew the things he was doing were fairly advanced for his age and assumed that my other kids would be different and so I have tried not to compare them. The problem has come that Ridge has not only not learned things as quickly as Dyson did but, now that he is 4 he still doesn't know his letter names and sounds. He can sing the alphabet song but he has no idea what he is saying or what it means. I have tried flash cards to help him learn the letters and he can copy what I say when the card is right in front of him but as soon as I move on to another letter or put the cards away he forgets everything!
I don't really know what to do or what to make of it. Today we were trying to learn the letter L and I asked him what letter it was and what sound it made and we seriously worked on it for 30 min and at the end of it he still couldn't tell me what letter it was or what sound it made! We laid on my bed thinking of words that started with the letter L and I would say something like "lotion" and he would say "doorknob"!!! After 30 min of trying to learn the letter L and he still can't come up with a word that starts with the right letter sound.
I must be completely ineffective as a teacher because I have literally tried everything I can think of to help him learn it and he just doesn't get it.
I enrolled him in preschool when he was 3 so he could start getting some of the letters and numbers figured out, but I noticed that he really wasn't getting it. I chalked that up to him just being one of the youngest kids in the class and thought maybe he just wasn't interested. But now that he if 4 and is not any closer to figuring it out I'm not really sure what to do.
So after our little letter adventure I laid down on my bed and cried.
I feel like a failure as a mom and as the teacher to my children. I have to admit that I did lose my temper and that of course never helps. The light of learning hasn't clicked in him and I don't know what to do to turn on the lights.
So to sum up the day. I've not been feeling super great, the house is a mess, I lost my temper with my kids and I have spent a great deal of time crying.
Being a mom really is the hardest job in the world. Just as the paydays are the greatest so are the disappointments and failures. The fear of failing as a mom, especially a stay at home mom, is almost crushing to me. The question "What do you do all day?" is not an uncommon thing to hear out here and when there are few victories to report it is really discouraging.
I have always felt that my place was in the home and that I could do the best for my kids to be the one raising and teaching them and daycare and babysitters were not what I wanted for my kids, but I have to say that if you were to compare my kids to those who have attended day care they are lacking in the academic areas. So what do I do all day? and how can I be more effective in teaching? I have no idea and daycare is looking pretty tempting right now.
To add insult to injury in this whole mess, I want to put Ridge in preschool so he can hopefully start to understand it but I pretty much have no options for that. All the preschools I can find out here are daycares and super pricey (the one next door is about $1200.00 a month) and I haven't found anyone do to a co-op preschool with. So poor Ridge is left with his unqualified, impatient, discouraged mom who will be severely distracted come Dec. to teach him everything he needs to know before Kindergarten.

They say that people get great ideas and do a lot of great thinking when they are in the shower and I would have to agree. I find that when I'm in the shower I can think of a million topics to write about on the blog, or ponder things that are weighing on my mind. But the minute I get out of the shower the world seems to come back with full force and I find myself at a loss for words to write and the conclusions and enlightened thoughts I did have are just out of reach of my conscience mind.
There are so many things that a mom must think about at any given moment that it's easy to see how non immediate things get pushed to the back.
Lately I have been feeling like all I am is a mom. I don't want it to sound like I don't enjoy being a mom because being a mom is all I ever wanted to be. I'm not really one who likes the idea of having a job and I absolutely adore my children. They are the light of my life and the reason for my existence. They are so much a part of me I wouldn't know how to function without them. However, I have been a mom for 6 years now and I have noticed that I have lost apart of what makes me, me.
I used to do so many things and I enjoyed them. I find that I no longer do the things that defined who I was (perhaps only in my mind) and I have wrapped my whole persona in the lives of my children. Like I said, I love my kids beyond words, but I don't find it to be a healthy thing for me to have no other interests. The problem I am facing is that with nearly 4 delightful children and a husband who has very demanding responsibilities I can't seem to find the time, the money, or even the project to fill in the gaps.
I would like to join a book club, but I don't even know where to start looking for one, and I am afraid that the books chosen from a group out here might have graphic sections or offensive language. I am not comfortable reading graphic novels and for some reason I find that reading an offensive word on a page is harder for me to handle than it is to hear it in a movie. I know, it's weird.
I did try scrapbooking once but that was a short lived adventure. I would spend hours trying to design one page and it would end up so plain that it looked like a 5 yr old did it. Not to mention the supplies for scrapbooking are quite pricey.
I did think about sewing for a little bit. But I haven't sewn anything since the 7th grade where my glasses case ended up being more like a pencil case since the opening was so narrow. Plus again, the tools to start learning how to sew are expensive.
I'm sure this post sounds like such a downer to all of you but I'm really not depressed or sad about the problem I am just at a loss as to what to do to get myself back on track to being a well rounded individual.
I want to give my kids so much more than just a mom who used to do things and used to have interests. I want to show them what it means to be a person who pursues their interests and finds balance in every aspect of their lives. I don't want them to grow up and be so focused on their jobs that they let their families suffer. Nor do I want them to be so wrapped up in their family that they can't keep a job to support them, or have hobbies to share with their kids.
I would really like to find a skill or a hobby that I can do so I can teach my kids how to do it. I want to be so much more than just a mom. I want to be a spectacular mom who shares the wonders of this world with her kids.


P.S. Showers really are the best place to have long, meaningful thoughts with yourself. If you try to have these thoughts when you are out of the shower you should be prepared to suffer the consequences. For example, while I was writing this in my room, Rori dumped out an entire pepper shaker all over my kitchen. When I was in the shower, she was sleeping.
I'll have to think faster in the shower so I have time to write it out before the natives awake.

Personal thought time....over

Last night was Jason's first night on call. He has been on a rotation for the last 2 weeks that didn't have a call schedule but that changed yesterday and he was lucky enough to get to be on call. The normal hours are from 6:30 am to 5:00 pm but when they are on call they have to be there until 9:00 or 10:00 pm.
We made it through the night and Jason made it through his. The kids did have a bit of a hard time understanding that they wouldn't get to see dad for a couple of days though. Dyson handled it well and Ridge was only sad about it for a minute but Rori spent a good portion of this morning being extremely upset that she hadn't seen daddy.
We managed to keep ourselves plenty busy yesterday and are going out for walk today so hopefully I can distract daddy's little girl until he returns this afternoon. Jas is supposed to follow the schedule of the resident that he is assigned to and his resident is on his Post Call schedule and is off at 1:00 so Jas is hoping to be done around 3:00. I'm not holding my breath though because they can always just assign him to a new resident.

We are slowly getting used to being in NJ and we get around OK as long as we have a working GPS. Without it we would be so lost all the time that I think I stay home. haha.

We are all adjusting to our new life and are excited about what the future holds for us. I am trying to stay positive about life here and it seems to be helping my attitude. Maybe there is hope for NJ after all.... maybe.

Talking on the phone already. So like her mom.
This is the face she pulls if you ask her where her eyes are. It's the cutest thing ever.
General Relief Society Meeting at the Conference Center with my mom and sister. What a great looking bunch.
The sisters!

I know these aren't of our apartment, and they are kind of old, but I thought I should post some pictures.
The house is slowly coming together and I plan on posting pics of the place later today.

NEW JERSEY!
This has been a long time coming and the road was anything but straight.
Ever since Jason came home from Grenada in Dec we have been preparing for this move in one way or another. Jas spent several months studying for the USMLE and after that was done we started getting everything else done before we moved.
We had our preliminary placement and that gave us a good idea of where we would be going but SGU reserves the right to change your placement. So we were told to not make any decisions or move until we had received our final placement. So we prepared in other ways and got everything in order.
Our original plan was for my mom and dad to take the kids for us while Jason and I loaded a Penske truck with our stuff and drove out the NJ. We were going to tow our Sentra and stay with friends and family across the way. Then we would stay with some super awesome friends until we could secure an apartment. We would then move in and have my parents fly the kids out. We thought this was a great plan. It saved us money and we got a little mini vacation. (and with 3 kids we could use a small vacation. haha)
We ran into a few problems with our plan in March. Not all of the bumps we encountered were bad and in fact the first one is (in my opinion) a great one. In the beginning of April we found out that we are expecting our 4th baby. We are super excited about this but it did mean that we needed to sell our 5 seater Sentra and get a minivan. We looked and looked and after a month of car shopping (which in my opinion is the worst thing EVER) we found a great car for a great price. Problem 1 solved.
Problem 2 came when we found out that our new van was too heavy to to be towed. GRR. This was not great news because that meant we either had to each drive separate cars (jas in the truck and me in the van) spend money on gas for both vehicles and still fly the kids out, or we had to drive both cars out with the kids in the van.
We opted to save the money on airfare and drive the kids out. My parents are super gems and were willing to drive the truck so that I didn't have to drive the kids in the van by myself. I also started encountering my regularly scheduled morning sickness so I didn't know how much driving I could really do.
So we had a new plan for getting us across the country and everything was looking good. Jason got his scores from the test back and they were great. We got the rest of his paperwork in and we were ready to go.... except SGU.
After all our stuff was turned in we had to wait for nearly a month before we got our placement. We would have just moved but we knew if we did they would have changed our hospital and that would be one expensive reroute. So we waited, and waited and waited. We actually did finally decide that we were most likely going to NJ and that we had to get going or we would run out of time to get everything in order. We decided we were going to leave that Friday the 7th of May. Two days later we got our placement, and it was to the original hospital. SGU tends to make things harder than they need to be.
Anyway, we drove out, we stayed in hotels (I couldn't impose on our friends when the number of people jumped from 2 to 7. And there was a death in the family that caused the people we were going to stay with you be in UT instead of in their homes, so we didn't stay there either) and began our search for an apartment as soon as we got here.
We did just about everything we could think of to find a place besides sign with a realtor. We knew we couldn't afford the fees with having stayed in hotels the whole trip. So we signed up with a referral service (flat rate), looked on Craigslist, and even drove around calling on "For Rent" properties. We found some really awful ones that were not an option and some really awesome ones that weren't available until either June 1st or later. So those were not options either. We looked everywhere and we were coming up empty handed at every turn and we were running out of time.
We finally decided that it was in our best interest to sign with a realtor. We needed to get out of hotels asap and that was the only thing left we could think of. My dad had to leave for home on the 14th and that same day we had an appointment to see some places with a realtor. We saw one single family home that was cute, but on the river. With no fence to keep the kids away and Rori's lack of fear when it comes to water we knew we couldn't take it. (plus it is right on the flood plane) Then we saw one that was so horribly dirty I can't even describe it. Let's just say it was a big NO. And the third one we saw was the one we are in now. We were really happy to find out that the landlord was willing to pay half the realtor fee too! So that was a big plus.
It is a 3 bedroom with hardwood on the main floor, updated kitchen (the bathroom needs work though) the upstairs has carpet in both the bedrooms. The small bedroom will be used as the baby's room and all 3 kids are in the big room. It's really a cute space. It has lots of nooks and crannies for the kids to play. The house is older and has tons of charm. It's not new and modern but it has an old world feel to it and I find it very charming. The walls in the living room are an ugly brown and at some point I may ask if I can't repaint but it will work fine for now.
We are so happy to have found a place. It was a really stressful thing to do with the kids but we are really pleased with where we are.
We are still unpacking and have been waiting for our fridge so life has been a little crazy and disorganized. When I get it all together I will post pictures. Just be aware that almost all of our furniture was donated and so nothing matches. haha.
My impression of NJ has not been a good one and I'm hoping that during the summer it starts to feel more like home. Everyone I know loves it here and maybe I will too one day.
In the mean time if anyone who has or is having a baby here and has any recommendations on a good OB/GYN that info would be appreciated.

When I found out that the forecast for today was in the 50's and sunny I made plans to take the kids to the park with some friends after school and lunch. So when the boys got home and the kids were all fed we packed up and headed to the park near Dyson's school.

I really wish my life were a little more exciting so I could write some really awesome posts. But seriously my life is about as normal as it can get.

(the pictures are all messed up and blogger won't let me fix it. sorry.)
This is us at the top of the mountain on our last run of the day. It was such a beautiful day for skiing!
Here is the man of the hour at the top. I made him take this pic. haha

Here is me mastering the bunny hill with my mad skills!!

Here are some pics of the fam. I know it's been a long time coming so here they are in all their glory!Here is our adorable little girl, being, well.... adorable.