I can now safely say I believe that everything happens for a reason.
Seemingly random events have a way
of fitting like perfect puzzle pieces as I continue on my path.
That's hard for a perfectionist like me to admit.
Having a tendency to want everything to fit perfectly, now
to make sense, now
to function like the perfect families depicted on long ago tv, now.
These past couple years seem to be a manifestation
of many of the seemingly random things from prior years
As if someone had gone into the dark recesses of my mind
Pulled out that old box labelled 'Other'
where the random ideas, events, feelings, oddities were stored
and shook it out onto my path
and arranged the oddities into perfectly fitted pieces
As if something greater
knew I would need it someday
And like an artist storing ephemera
knew that someday it would fit into the perfect creation
I'm more careful these days
Not to discount things with a
'yeah, right', 'why me', 'that's impossible'
If I save something out of a magazine or something I find
I don't chastise myself as being silly
If something painful is happening
I try, really really try, to remember it'll pass
And leave a lesson in its wake
The random oddities that leave you thinking
'huh - what was that'
Because perhaps, just perhaps, I'm filling that 'Other' box
for a special reason
I find it interesting, now, that the most painful events
the deaths, illnesses, and divorce
were the ones with the most valuable lessons
And that the little images that sometimes play in my head
while asleep or in meditation
have a way of becoming reality
Even if I say 'yeah right, no way'
And that when I finally gave in to this notion
And was willing to open my eyes to really 'see' and trust
that things started happening faster
that when 'the student is ready, the teacher really does appear'
~ ~ ~
After my divorce I had an odd little dream
Where I walked into a sunlit room
Up to the artwork on the walls
And curiously looked at the artist's signature
And saw my maiden name
At the time I laughed and thought, 'yeah right, it's too late for that'
Art was not a part of my life at the time nor did I have my maiden name
Recently I had a random idea pop into my head
That I should create, create and create
Enough pieces to hang on the white walls of my home
And invite family and friends as if it were a gallery opening
Not necessarily to sell, but to celebrate my reconnection to the path
I started to say 'yeah right, you can't...'
Then I remembered
I already have my maiden name back
