My Quest: August 2012

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Road Lesson #2 - Fortitude

Beyond Grateful
Is the only way I can describe how I feel as I look back upon my summer
In July I managed to travel through 10 states
Out West by train and out East by motorcycle
This has never happened before...and yet...
the seeming coincidence hasn't escaped me

Earlier this year I had witnessed bad behaviors
That left me discouraged with the human race
And because I was focused on it, I found more
But with it came an unbidden urge to meet people
Not just any people
but a strong desire to meet other cultures in a desperate attempt to find someone 'real'
and not give up hope that our world wasn't totally screwed

I started taking baby steps towards my future dream of walking El Camino in Spain
thinking that I would focus on getting healthy first
and in a couple years I would go in search

I had made my decision to take the Pilgrimage
What I didn't expect was that I didn't have to get to Spain for the Pilgrimage to begin
~ ~ ~

I boarded the train and motorcycle with an open heart
telling the Universe to let me be open to see what I needed to see
and the wisdom to recognize it when it came along

Thinking the world had become a bunch of spineless back-stabbing wimps
I was overjoyed when the Universe removed this judgement
and allowed me to see that 'real' people still exist
The type of people who don't buckle under adversity
The type who instead of running in fear of life's ebbs and flows
bring out the surf board and ride the waves determined to make the best of it

People who reinvented themselves along the way
Instead of letting life break them in one form or another

I found that there are still manly men and tough women
I found strength and courage
Fortitude
Backbone
The type of people that sparked change in this wonderful country of ours
And I can only imagine what I'll find as I continue my Pilgrimage
~ ~
Those making the pilgrimage in Spain are referred to as Peregrinos (Pilgrims)
the fellow travelers who have come from afar to travel to a holy place
My pilgrimage began when I left home that first day
and I started meeting the Peregrinos along the way
those whose path crossed mine at perfectly coincidental moments

Over the next few posts I'll be introducing you to some of the Peregrinos
I met on the crossroads of our individual journeys

and so my Quest continues...

~
"The concept of randomness and coincidence will be obsolete

when people can finally define a formulation

of patterned interaction between all things within the universe."

~Toba Beta

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Road Lesson #1-Balance

The day we left for our motorcycle trip

I strapped my new bag onto the bike

Jumped on, made the sign of the cross and signaled to The Hubs that I was ready

He pulled out first and I followed him down the block

My bike felt slightly different but I shrugged it off to the fact that we were leaving late in the day

At the stop sign I felt wobbly and odd as my bike continued to roll a bit

The Hubs looked at me funny and I shrugged saying I had to remember I was carrying a heavy bag

And so it went the first and second days

I knew something felt ‘off’ and I kept making excuses

He had just tuned my bike, the bag was heavy, we left later, the sun was shining

I’m short and I can never really reach the ground on my bike other than with the ball of my feet

I noticed that only the tiptoes of my boots were reaching and then it hit me

By the end of the second day I pulled into a gas station and finally admitted to The Hubs

“Well, I’ve gained weight. My thighs are wider thus pushing my legs out further thus raising my feet”

“Either that or I’m shrinking”

He raised his eyebrow and said nothing

The third morning he tells me to try moving my bag off my passenger seat to the luggage rack

I switch bag placements, get on the bike and we leave

At the first stop light I come to a smooth stop next to him and say

“Holy crap, I can reach the ground again!”

By moving my bag a mere 3” to the rear I changed the distribution

The weight on my bike was unbalanced

I felt something was wrong but tried to justify it instead of taking the necessary actions to correct it

And all it took was a little tweak to re-establish the balance between bike and I

and we danced happily along our journey

(heehee I promise not to get all mushy like in the previous post)

~ ~ ~

I think Life is like that sometimes

We're an amazing and complex creation

We have a physical, emotional, spiritual, mental self all working together in harmony

When something is 'off', we know it, we feel it, we sense it

It can be as simple as a thought

And that mere little thought has the power to change the balance

We become bitter thus swaying deeper into a bad mood

We can manifest physical changes as our body tries to compensate for the mental signals it's receiving

We start looking for reasons why we feel bad and we start justifying

We find fault in ourselves and eventually in others

We start feeling the world is a bad place and 'they' are all out to get us

And it spirals as the balance is tipped further and we spin out of control

And our unbalance spirals out to affect the balance of that which is around us

Like ripples in the water

And sometimes all it takes is being aware

Of taking a moment to acknowledge that something feels off and do a mental scan

To accept the thought and reach for a better one

To play the game of tweak a little bit here and a little bit there

To keep reaching and correcting and reaching some more

To trust that little voice, that internal barometer we've been gifted, that says

"OI! Something's up!"

~ ~

I know I've said this before

but it's in that tweaking, that need to keep balancing as I go along

where I find the most fertile ground for growth

That good and bad are necessary for balance

And each time I emerge with a deeper appreciation

A deeper love and understanding

And thoroughly amazed and deeply grateful for the opportunity to be alive

Life is SO freaking amazing

and so my Quest continues...

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Life thru Biker Goggles

First let me say thank you so much for your cool comments regarding my Face the Fear video

gotta admit...it was pretty fun to step into my goofiness

~ ~ ~

I've been away...just returned from a seven day motorcycle trip

The Hubs and I

Two motos. Four states. 1650 miles

and now there are thoughts I need to capture so I don't forget

LUCKY YOU...teehee

~ ~

Riding, to me, is exquisite

It is exceptionally spiritual

Riding incorporates all my senses completely and fully

Usually after the second day on the road I cross over into a zone

Where my moto feels as if it's an extension of my body

(It's probably the numb booty)

A light touch here or a slight lean there

as we dance and sway in a swirl of smells, colors, sights and sounds

the tingling of my skin as every cell comes alive

everything is heightened

I am alone and yet

I am very much aware of being one with everything around me

We ride for about six hours a day as we travel east

Our only conversation reserved for stop lights or rest stops

And it occurs to me that my ride is very much like life's journey

There's a beginning and an end

But the route is dependent on that which is encountered on the journey

Sometimes altering or changing the destination

The journey becomes fluid

I savor the sights, sounds, smells and feelings of the current moment

Before they are whisked away behind me

Becoming smaller in my mirror

Sometimes I long for a closer look; to stay in the moment longer

But it's impossible to stay on my path by focusing on what lies behind me in my mirror

And I learn to see only as far as I can see ahead of me

And trust that the path continues before me around the blind curves

There are companions along the road

Some make momentary connections while others ride along for part of the journey

Some make an impact with their words or by example

Some stay longer and you travel in a synchronized dance of skill and trust

Individual but whole

I am reminded that I am alone on my journey

That although I may have companions,

I am solely responsible for the experience on my travels

It is up to me and only me to determine how far I go

What I let hold me back or how I am affected by my encounters

And in the silence I learn to trust my intuition & ask for guidance

The journey will be a mixture of good and bad

There will be those who recklessly cross my path

Others who unintentionally (or intentionally) try to hurt me

There will be showers and sunshine and winds and mud

Moments where I catch myself from falling at the last minute

Moments that make me catch my breath and want to abandon the journey

As I run for cover in the nearest ditch

But those are the moments to hang on tight

For they are the moments that will reveal my inner strength

The ones where I come out on the other side and say

"HOLY CRAP!" in exhilaration

and I am changed, I am stronger, I am connected

I learn that sometimes it's okay to take a break

To recharge or take a closer look
But that there comes a moment when it's time to move on

To continue the journey; to continue the dance, the growth, the connections

And through it all I realize that it is in these exquisite moments on the journey

where true Life lies

that through the good and bad

the sweeping or tight blind curves

the connections to everything and everyone I pass

the moments where I feel like crying for joy or gritting my teeth in anger or fear

That this is my journey and this is where I get to know who I am

before I close my eyes for good

~ ~ ~

Did I warn you that for a few days after a motorcycle trip

I'm on a spiritual high?

And I walk around with a stupid grin hugging and smiling?
Can you imagine what I'll be like when we go next year for 10 days?
Just be happy you're not with me!