I decided that for Christmas or my birthday this year I want to get my college diploma framed. Random, I know. It wasn't something that mattered to me when I was graduating from Clemson, but for whatever reason I really want to have it framed now. And not just any frame, but a real deal Clemson frame. My good friend Rachel has a really nice one that has a picture of Tillman Hall on it. I want something snazzy like that. I'm kind of leaning towards this one:


I feel a little silly getting my college diploma framed. I mean, in a few years our office walls will be lined with all of Matt's diplomas (minus his college diploma - he has no clue where that wandered off to). His diploma from medical school, residency (?), every time he passes his medical boards......I'm not sure what kinds of diplomas and certificates he'll be receiving, but I do know that my father in law (who is also a doctor) has about 7 framed degrees in his office. Maybe degree is the wrong word. I think some of them are board certifications. Anyways, all this evidence of how smart and accomplished Matt is, and then there's my Clemson diploma. It kind of reminds me of the scene in "Meet the Fockers" when Greg's father shows his soon to be in-laws the "Wall of Gaylord."

At least all my old soccer, tennis and softball trophies (yes, I played softball) are still in Tallahassee. And I won't be bringing those to Charleston anytime soon.

Anyways, back to the matter at hand. Matt and I were eating dinner the other night when we happened to look over and see this lying on the floor:

This is what's left of Luna's Nylabone. For those of you without pets, this is what it used to look like:
Should we be worried?

1.There has been a sudden surge of people calling me ma'am. What does this mean? Do I look old? Do I act like a dopey grandma?

2. I found a lizard in the house today. I looked at it for a few minutes trying to figure out how to get rid of it. I thought, "Well, what would Pete Mallison do?" (Pete Mallison is my dad, for those of you who have never had the pleasure of meeting him.) My dad would have picked up the lizard, held him up to his earlobe until he latched on, and then strode into the next room displaying his earring for my mom, sister and I to see. It made me smile. I ended up just scooping him into a cup and putting him in the bushes outside.

3. There is a dead, decomposing raccoon in our side yard. He's right on the border between our property and our neighbors, and he smells BAD. What to do, what to do.........convince Matt to scoop him into a garbage bag and haul him out to the street, or just kick him a few feet to the left?

2. Luna's new Western Wear.

I'm not the type to make my dog wear clothes and other accessories, but every time I take her to the groomer's (not often - I usually wash her myself), they send her home with a little bandanna. They are always some ugly fabric which I remove as soon as we get to the car, but for some reason I can't bring myself to take this one off her. Probably because every time I look at her I think of this:

On an unrelated note, Matt has decided that it is his right as a home owner to walk around the house in his underwear. This is fine - however - not when it is at night and not when you don't have any form of window covering. I point this out to Matt, but he insists that he doesn't care if our neighbors can see him or not. It's his house, and if he wants to walk around in his underwear, he will. So, I guess I need to hurry up and buy some blinds. Oh - and don't drive down our road after dark.

Last weekend my sweet mom and sister came to visit! Unfortunately Matt had to go to an anesthesia conference in Pinehurst, NC so he wasn't here for Girl Weekend 2010. We had a great time going out to eat, walking around drinking fresh lemonade at the Farmer's Market, shopping on King St. and hanging out around the house.










Of course I had to take advantage of the fact that my mom was in town and knows how to sew. She made me this great pillow sham to go in the living room, and she also made this valence to go over the kitchen sink:





That's right - a frozen banana. Because that's what every girl needs to know how to make. Not how to fix a hem, or sew on a button - but how to make a freaking frozen banana pillow.

Anyways - we had a great time and I wish they could visit more often!

We have this ugly tree in our yard. It is UGLY. For some reason, Matt likes it. Probably because I don't. I want nothing more than to chop this sucker down, but every time I mention it, Matt goes into hysterics. Look at it:




It took me a while to figure out what it reminds me of. Wait for it.....

I made him carry both boats. I concentrated on getting my bloated self down to the dock.





To the left is Charleston harbor, and to the right is Charlestowne Landing.

I'm still confused as to why my spray skirt had John Bunion-esque suspenders.







This was taken while I was waiting on Matt to help me get out of my boat and back onto the dock. There is no ladder, so I literally had to stand up in the boat and hoist myself up onto the dock and over the railing. It was a very perilous situation - and not my most graceful moment. Every time I tried to stand up, my boat would start to glide underneath the boardwalk, threatening to cause me to fall, bust my chin open on the dock and plop into the water. Thankfully, this did not happen. (This crab mocked me throughout the process).


Walking home.

Something happened to my blog background. One day it was there, and the next it was gone. I spent way too much time looking for a new one (read: 2 hours), until I finally stumbled across this one and I LOVE it! I just love books. I love owning books. I don't understand the appeal of owning a Kindle. I would much rather pay a few extra dollars per book and have the real thing to hold, smell, and look at on a shelf. Books are so pretty, especially when they are all lined up on a bookshelf. Decorating our house is a little/lot overwhelming for me, but these bookshelves are my one crowning achievement:

I still need to figure out a way to hide all those cords. I'm thinking a taller basket will do the trick. But back to books. I love recommending good books to my friends. I think I get that from my dad. He's always mailing people books that he's just finished reading. One requirement I have when purchasing a book is going with the original book jacket. I would buy this book:

...but not this one:

The End.

So, in my typical indecisive fashion, I purchased a decorative accessory a few weeks ago to put on one of our many built-in bookshelves. I liked it when I bought it, brought it home, and after looking at it for 3 weeks, decided I didn't really like it that much after all. Back to TJ Maxx it shall go. Matt's thrilled, because he never liked it in the first place.

Tonight at dinner, he informed me that he finally figured out what it was.

Allyn: "A spittoon?"
Matt: "Nope. A toenail receptacle!!"
Allyn: "Sick!!"

So, if you find yourself in TJ Maxx and happen upon this little treasure, refrain from buying it. There are about 20 of Matt's toenails inside.

I'm checking my email. Matt is salivating over the vein in my forehead and trying to convince me to let him start an IV drip in it. Like, right now as I type this, he is prodding my head vein. This is what we do at 11pm on a Friday night.

We had a reservation for the Champagne Brunch, which did not disappoint. It was fun because it was a buffet, so Matt and I got to try things that we would not typically order, like tuna tartar and pate. It was so good. It felt like we were back on our honeymoon, stuffing our faces with amazing food and not worrying about the bill. My favorite part of the meal was dessert. They had so many amazing things to choose from - dark chocolate covered strawberries, cheesecakes, chocolate mousse, candies, and this amazing dark chocolate and raspberry tart. Man, I love good food, and I love that I am married to a man who loves it just as much as I do! (I think my pallet may be a bit more discerning than Matt's, seeing as one of his all-time favorite meals is Cheeseburger Macaroni Hamburger Helper.) Even so - I love my sweet, funny, brilliant, handsome husband, and am absolutely thrilled to be married to my best friend!

My first post in 2 months. I need to take it slow. I'm sitting on the couch watching Toddlers and Tiaras and feeling inspired. I will never understand the world of pageants. I don't think we had them in Tallahassee. In fact, I don't really think I was aware of pageants until I went to college and met Miss Teen Georgia. That's right - I rolled with a pretty elite crowd.


So - to update you in one sentence, I have pretty much been trying to sell chicken, decorate our new home, and keep the amount of dog hair tumbleweeds in our house to a minimum since the last time I posted. Hold up. Ummm, a 5 year old boy in a red pin stripe suit just walked onto the pageant stage. What. The. Deuce. He looks like a mini Dick Tracy.


Matt made his first home "repair" shortly after we moved in. The washer and dryer which were supposed to convey with the house we bought were actually stolen a week or so before we closed on the house. They were in the garage which was left open to provide shelter for Herpes Cat, who I will refer to as HC from here on out. More on him later. So - the washer and dryer were basically ripped from the garage wall, which bent the pipe and caused our washing machine to leak when running. Matt did some research and decided the best way to fix the leaky hose/pipe was to saw about 2 feet off of the pipe, decreasing the distance the hose had to reach. The finality of that move was somewhat alarming to me, so all the way to Home Depot I kept asking if he was absolutely SURE that was the way to go. I even tried to get the guy at Home Depot on my side (he suggested using duct tape) to dissuade Matt from his plan. No such luck. Matt came home with a little saw about the size of a fingernail file, and spent the next hour sawing through the copper pipe in the garage. Well, needless to say, our washing machine still leaks. We currently have a bucket under the pipe/hose hookup collecting water and breeding all kinds of weird insects.


Back to HC. On the day we had the home inspection, 2 of our neighbors took the opportunity to come over and introduce themselves, and let us know about the beloved neighborhood cat, Opie, who lived outside our house. They were very concerned about his future and stated that all the neighbors had been feeding him since the previous owner of our house moved and left the house vacant. I think that was about a year ago. Anyways, they all love this mangy cat and wanted to be sure we weren't planning on taking him the the SPCA. An outside cat that the neighbors feed, who just happens to live in our bushes - no big deal. Well. At closing, the previous owner gave us Opie's complete history. Which includes freaking HERPES. Yes. Not to worry though - as we were leaving she loaded up our car with a cat carrier, a 6 month supply of cat food, medicine to sprinkle in his food, and eye drops to apply twice daily to his herpes eyes. Firstly, how the heck are you supposed to catch a cat and administer eye drops, and secondly, who wants to touch herpes eyes? Not me. And DEFINITELY not my husband. HC lasted about 3 days with us before Matt forced me to call the previous owner and tell her that we could not take care of Opie any longer. I mumbled something about HC putting us at risk for having down syndrome babies and that was that. So now HC is the responsibility of one of our neighbors. But he still live in our bushes. Don't tell Matt.

This weekend we had some friends stay with us from out of town. They have the sweetest little boy, Benjamin, and are expecting their second child in April. Matt and I have not had the pleasure of having a baby/toddler stay with us before, and since we don't yet have any children of our own, we didn't have any toys lying around (that weren't covered in hair and dog saliva) to offer the little guy. Not to worry though - Matt found the perfect toy for Ben and handed it over to him for his enjoyment:

Allyn: "Hi. How late are you open today?"
Vet: "We close at 7."
Allyn: "Ok. I may be bringing my dog in shortly. She has a bone stuck around her lower jaw."
Vet: "Is it a rawhide? Is it stuck in her throat??!!"
Allyn: "No. She was chewing on a bone and somehow got it stuck around her lower jaw. Now it's stuck on there and I can't get it off."
Vet: "Uhhhh, I don't understand. How exactly did that happen?"
Allyn: "Well......she has a pretty pronounced underbite.......I'll see you in a few minutes."

That's right people, I'm finally getting a Dyson!! I borrowed my sister-in-law's Dyson Animal 2 weeks ago just to make sure I really wanted one before we dropped $450 on a vacuum. It did not disappoint. So my birthday present from Matt this year is a DC25 All Floors Ball! I've been putting off vacuuming since I borrowed Meg's because the thought of using my crappy vacuum after experiencing the Dyson is almost painful. I'm trying to ignore the tumbleweeds blowing across the floor of our condo as I type this.

The salad plate is not just any salad plate, either. It's Tobacco Leaf by Mottahedeh. I LOVE it. It's a little pricey, which is why we're coming up on 4 years of marriage this June and I currently have 7 salad plates. But that's ok. I love it. Never mind the fact that I've never actually used any of my wedding china, I just love looking at it.


Something else I LOVE: Ben & Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk ice cream. I can kill a pint of this stuff in 24 hours. And I think I will do just that......