Golden haze.

Sometimes is so funny when someone you expect to actually go through and pull you up when you fall but instead , they just let you be as though you're nothing . Thanks Dawn for meeting me .. Really , thanks a lot . And martin who got so worried .. And I think I don't wanna say more here so bye .

LOOK AT YOUR REFELCTION = ANSWER WHORE. MAY KARMA FALL .

I cant believe what you actually said, girl.. I dont hate you, im just disappointed. Somehow, i think is so immature. For all this while, i cant believe my eyes and ears.. I've so much to say and i dontknow who to confide beside myself. Even there is, the person probably didnt remember that i want to say. I think i dump alot things in my private blog becaue i seriously dont know how to open my mouth and pour my feeings, is weird. Those who feel me, they will know how i feel but those couldnt feel me, they never will. I cant believe i broke down in school either.. Weird isnt it? I just didnt like April at all.. 我想要说得实在太多了. Study programme on thursday.

I've tried but all the depressing problems never fail to make me go nuts, regardless of studies or anything. It seems that i've lost my sense of feeling. This feeling is an excruciating pain - an undescribable feeling. I dont know what to say anymore.. I just know, I'm scare of giving up and yet, I'm scare things will be worse than i thought. I've made mistakes in the past and i dont want same history to repeat - is too painful to be felt. The fear that i have now, is more than numbers could count. I have never felt this fear for so long and i'm encountering it now.. Is so much of a nightmare that i dreamt once - worse than horror nightmares. I wish i would sleep it away to slip the nightmares away. i really hope i could, but i know , never it will be possible.. I've to accept this: Life is never fair. I've to put both hands up and agree to it now..

Just post for the sake of posting. I don't know express things at times . Even how much I joke or laugh at certain issue , it does not mean my heart thinks the same way . It may be just hidden beneath my actions . In other words , I may be constantly thinking about it , worrying about it or even , feeling uncomfortable about it without anyone knowing . A little hectic life now . Kinda screwed up feelings and I think twitter make me even more paranoid since I can see things with my own eyes - clear picture . But I still love twitter . Sometimes is disappointing but it can be a fact that I have to believe . I've lesser time to blog now but I'm way active at twitter . Follow me or readers got to be patient and wait for a new post .