Enjoying the Journey Together

There is so much magic in your hands.

It just depends on if you are going to use it or not.

I did.

I still do.

It has made the biggest difference in my relationships with my two boys.

Can you see the result of the magic in this bag?  No.  You will.




During the time when Steve was trying to figure everything out with his anxiety he went to a psychologist.  He came home with pearls of wisdom but no actual help for himself with managing his anxiety.  One of those pearls of wisdom had something to do with the power of physical touch.  I don't even remember what it was that Steve said, but I feel it was a message from heaven.

It was also about this time that I noticed my oldest son was thinking he was too cool to give hugs.  And, thinking that okay that's what cool pre-teens are like, I let it slide.  Now this son is pretty independent so there were times as I walked up the stairs to go to bed that I would think, "Have I even talked with Tyler today?" I know, pretty sad.

I didn't really mean to let that happen.  It just did.

So, I started making him give me hugs.  At first it was awkward.  In fact, my friend who is a photographer took a picture of me hugging my boys.  She said it was painfully obvious that one was really comfortable with it and the other not.  Do you think so too?

That is a polite way of saying he was "bullied".

At least, that is how the school is labeling it.  It could just be kids being mean to one another.  Either way, it made me feel the way I do when I am facing a full court press.  Like, "Oh shoot, what is my best move to handle this situation."  It's hard trying to balance his need to not be embarrassed and my need to protect my child.

You can close your mouth from shock now.  I have.  Although it's taken awhile.

I know bullying is such a big problem, but I really thought it wouldn't affect my children.  I was very naive.

Luckily he handled it well, almost too well if you ask me.  It was only because another child stepped up that it was even brought to the teacher's attention.

Tyler has a little coterie at school.  It is a mix of genders and they all seem to be good friends.  From what I can tell.  I am glad he has found his little niche and seems so happy.  Although he won't be allowed to date until he is 16, Ty is like his dad and always has a crush.  There may have been a crush on a girl (it isn't confirmed).  They would text back and forth.  It seemed like she would be mad at him every other week and then they wouldn't be talking.  Oh, emotional girls.

Anyway,  the rumor started that Ty liked another girl.  I don't think he does.  But it was started.  So two boys (the double team) decided to write a love letter to the girl and sign it with Tyler's name.  Supposedly the double team did all this to protect the first girl.  Seriously!   Not sure how this makes sense in their world.

Some how Ty got a hold of the letter, read it and threw it away.  At this point, another classmate of Ty's picked it up out of the trash and gave it to a teacher.

That day after school happened to be my day to drive carpool.  Ty and his friend Greg got into our car talking about this love letter that someone had written.  They both came to the consensus that the boy who wrote it was mean and his opinion didn't matter.  They forgot to tell me one little detail that day:  THAT THE LETTER WAS ABOUT TY!

The next day I happened to be subbing in Ty's very grade.  Poor Ty was at home with a fever.  At one point, one of the teachers and one of the aide's were talking and called me over.  They wanted to know if Tyler was really sick.  I know I gave them a strange look.  That is when they clued me in to what had happened the day before and that the letter was indeed about Tyler.  (So, I assured them that Ty really was sick.)  But, I was shocked.  They also assured me that things were being handled but I, as the parent of the "bullied" child was not allowed to know what was happening.  ugh!

My Ty!!!   He didn't seem rattled by it at all.  But, I still made sure he knew for future (hopefully he won't ever face this again) reference how to properly handle the situation.

I hope he doesn't.

ENOUGH ALREADY!
I, along with the rest of my family, just want to shout, "Enough already!  Cancer.leave.us.alone!"  There have been 7 family members to have cancer in the last few years.  Most within the last two years. And, now,

my mom makes number 8.

 I have to say that while I was expecting "the call" that Mom would have cancer, it was breast cancer I was really expecting.  After all both her sisters and mother had breast cancer. Not non-hodkins lymphoma (a blood cancer).  To me this makes it a little bit scarier...a little more unknown.  Cancer has a culture (of vocabulary, of procedures, of being torn between despair and hope).  I am already beginning to learn it.

All the messages from friends and family have assured me that my mom is a fighter and if anyone can beat this, it will be my mom.  I know that.  It's one of the things I admire about her, and hope that I inherited from her.  That feisty spirit.

I have always said that being away from family when fun things are happening is hard; but, being away when hard things are happening is even harder.  This time it is really hard.  I am the one child who is a stay at home mom...I could go to each and every appointment with her.  Hold her hand.  But, instead, I am here with only a prayer in my heart.

But, Mom, please remember that I am only one phone call, and one plane ride away!  I would drop everything and be there if you called.

So, Mom,  I guess it's time for you to find a football uniform and to enter the playing field.  And on, on to the victory!

Mom, I love you to my bones!


TENDER MERCIES

...I was released from my responsibilities at church about three weeks ago.

I knew it was coming.

That still doesn't make it any easier.

I am used to be the Gospel Doctrine teacher.  It is a calling I never dreamed of wanting or of LOVING so much.  I was content to be taught at the feet of those who knew more than I.

I had such an opportunity to be able to literally feast on the words of Christ for the last three years.  And, I did.  And, I loved it.

It's so funny to me that I cried 3 years ago when they gave it to me.  If it is ever offered to me again, I will be doing cartwheels.

The thing that I loved the most about that calling is the learning that happened.  I was so afraid that wouldn't keep happening.  But, I have had tender mercies from the Lord.  Those moments where the same type of learning has occurred.  Those learning moments are for anyone who wants to know the scriptures and makes the "sacrifice" of the time involved.   I am so happy to know this.  I have a bucket list of scriptural things I want to study.  Now, since I am not focused on a lesson, I can study what I want.  That is a good thing.

When I was living at BYU, I had a roommate whose birthday was a week after mine.  She started birthday week.  She made a snake out of some extra material and placed 7 little presents in sectioned off pieces of the body for me.  It was adorable!  So it was birthday week, mine started it hers finished it.

Birthday Week this year took on a new meaning.

I was able to fly home to be with my family, and triplet siblings to celebrate our birthday.

Boy did we have so much fun!

We had a family party at my older sister's house the day before our birthday.


I had requested this Costco chocolate cake!  So yummy!  Delicious!

There was lots of laughter.  We were laughing so hard that my stomach started to hurt.



I was able to spend a lot of time with Buff which is never dull.  He took me on a tour of the island, we sat in their hot tub, we went on a walk for some exercise, we played euchre (a game Buff learned at Dartmouth).  He is such a great guy and I am lucky he is a brother to me.
It is an ice cream cake from Cold Stone, I think it is Peppermint Chocolate Perfection, or something like that.  So, before we cut into it, I asked Paige to let me take one more picture of her with the cake.  She obliged willingly.  She was even so kind as to pick up the plate so I could get a better angle of the cake in the picture.  She didn't foresee that the cake would slide from the plate right onto my lap!

We were laughing so hard.  We had such a great night!

L'Auberge Chez Francois.
Because we decided to abandon our plans to travel to New York and see Wicked (due to Hurricane Sandy) we had to come up with something special to do.  That evolved into going to dinner at L'Auberge Chez Francois. This fancy restaurant has BIG meaning to my family.

• For my high school graduation, while everyone else was getting luggage, my mom gave us (triplets graduate high school at the same time, haha) culture.  We went to a matinee of Les Miserables and had lunch at L'Auberge Chez Francois.  That is one day that is an experience on my dash  (a previous blog post).  
• After being a fabulous single woman for several decades my mom found the love of her life.  She married him.  And, she married him in the beautiful gardens of  L'Auberge Chez Francois.  What another great day!  Of course the reception was there afterwards!  I just remember being with my family and laughing.

And today was another day of laughter with my mom and sister.

We were able to go to the United States Holocaust museum.  (More on that later.)  But on the way, we stopped to "smell the roses" and took these fun pictures.








We were able to meet up with Todd at Panera Bread on Thursday morning for breakfast.  I really enjoyed my time with just the three of us.  Most of my formative years (teen years) it was just the three of us and my mom.  So, I always feel young when the three of us are together.  I think it's a good thing that we don't have a Panera Bread here in Utah.  I would be there everyday.  Their Pumpkin Pie bagels with streusel on top was ah-mazing!!!

We also were able to get facials. It as Paige's present to me.  I haven't had a facial since I was a teenager.  I honestly have never felt so relaxed in my life.  Even from all the massages that I've had.  It makes me wonder how much tension I store in my jaw.  Then we had a complimentary makeup touchup.  I loved how the girl did my makeup!  I wish I could duplicate it!

That night we had a homemade dinner of chili and cornbread at Paige's house.  We again played euchre! Amid lots of laughter.  I guess you could say we were a little addicted.

And, Thursday night I was able to see my mom's new place and spend the night there.  She is such a gracious host.  I really enjoyed the one on one time with her and Al.

Friday we all met back up again for Tobin's football game.  A play-off football game for State Title.  I felt so nostalgic being back in the football stands.  I always loved being in the stands during a football game.  That is why I only cheered for basketball season when I was in high school.  We had hot chocolate.  We laughed.  We were warm under our blankets and mittens.  And we got to see Tobin play.  He did great as the quarter back.  Although, I have to say that I was a little worried each time he would get tackled.

Robin was able to drive me back to the airport.  I loved that time with her!  She is such a great big sister and I appreciate her for all that she brings to our relationship!

Of course, due to the winter storms in Utah, my trip home was anything but boring.  Boring is good.  Boring means things goes as expected.   Let's just say that I didn't arrive home until 4 a.m.--which means 6 a.m Maryland time--4 hours later than anticipated!  Boy was I tired.  And Steve, he was such a trooper!  Never once about complaining about having to drive to the airport twice.  Once on really snowy roads.  I love him!  I was so happy to fall into his arms.  I think it it was socially acceptable outside at passenger pickup, I would have fallen asleep right then in his arms.

Meet my team:  Moms on the Run.

R1  Brendi, Candis, R2 Sara, Paige  R3 Francel, Tiercy

Francel and I as we waited to run our first leg of the relay.  Look at the beautiful country we enjoyed as we ran.

We decorated our support vehicle.  Each window was covered and so fun to see as we ran our legs.

At last, at the finish line.

She had her first day of first grade today.  Which means she is gone all day.  Which means  I am home alone all day.

I have to say that I didn't even get teary eyed today.  I am quite a bit shocked actually.  I may be ready for the boys' missions yet.

But, no worries today.  Luckily Steve took the morning to spend it I mean support me through it.  I am so lucky.  I know because he did this that it made it a great day for me.

Steve and I went and worked out together at the gym.  I love when we get to exercise together.  Then we came home and quickly got ready for a 10:30 a.m movie, went to lunch at our favorite restaurant (well, one of them anyway) and then I stopped by The Sweet Tooth Fairy and tried her Salted Caramel cupcake.  I have to say that I think it is my favorite of all the ones I've tasted.

I decided to make these grade signs because I noticed in a scrapbook that I had put the wrong grades.  You always think you are going to remember...

So, today my boys started 5th and 6th grades.

Those are the grades I remember the most and have my longest remaining friends from 5th grade.  So, these will be big years for them.  Ty is looking so grown up to me and he is so ready to be a teenager.

I know I will miss her but she is exactly where she is suppose to be.  There are so many opportunities opening up to me right now that I feel this is a new stage of adventure in my life to see where I end up.

Our ward Primary Presidency is awesome!  At the beginning of the year they asked the Primary children what topics they wanted to learn about.  Each topic has been assigned as a talk each week.  I love the thought of teaching the kids to apply the scriptures to everyday situations that arise in life. This past Sunday was Ethan's turn.  He was assigned the topic:  How to Stand Up to a Bully.

On Friday, during our usual scripture scavenger hunt, I had Ethan write his talk instead...all by himself. Wanting to help him and to get him started, I told Ethan that I had the perfect scripture story for him.  One that I love.  But I didn't get that far because he just as excitedly told me that he had a story he wanted to use, his favorite:  David and Goliath.   I guess my story of Nehemiah and Sandballot will have to wait for another day.

He was a cutie and sat at our computer and didn't ask for my help once.  I was a little surprised by this.  Actually, I think I helped him find the story in the Old Testament.  That was it.

So, as I tend to do, I got distracted and went about my stuff that day.  It wasn't until I sat down at the computer later and saw his talk saved on the desktop that I read it.  And boy was my mommy heart smiling.  The way he applied the story was phenomenal and I had no idea he could make those connections.

Here was his connection, I mostly left them in his words: