little birdie, little bunny...

"On the eve of the 6th revolution around the sun...thoughts are all about her bones. I have a beautiful urn full of them. A small vile full of them. An even smaller glass tube, full of her ashes mixed with teeny, tiny baby bones. This is where my thoughts are on this night, that 6 years ago. I walked a deep and earthly path working harmoniously with my baby. Long, extensive slow walks, circled hips, deep guttering groans...until the beat just stopped. Even today, in this moment, I can feel the silence as shock overcame my body. A deep and wise knowing of death. The kind that you don't want to understand."

There it is, raw and real. That is what I posted on FB this evening, because THIS IS REAL. I am NOT ashamed of being vulnerable, nor am I afraid to speak my truth in any aspect of this earthly life. As so many of us know, our time (or that of our sweet little innocent babies), can stop, suddenly and without hesitation. It just does. It did, and this though, tragically extreme kind of death continues to happen, every fucking day. 

These days, 6 years later. I am trying really hard to give ALL people the benefit of the doubt about most things. But, I find myself stuck so much, analyzing the un-kind behaivior of people. The way we treat each other with impatient attitudes, the sinking feeling that comes over me when I see how mothers are treated in this society. 

Why are people so fucking cruel? There is not enough time or space for this, and WE know why. WE babylost one's we walk the path knowing full well that gratitude and love need to be paramount.


So, when you see me in the crosswalk with my 2 earthly children (even if you need to get to that "really" important meeting), slow the fuck down, and let me cross the road. Please? Because, you have no idea what could be lurking around the corner for you. Seriously.

If you are still there, I am taking a respite from posting here. There have been so many huge life changes this year, and it doesn't feel OK to post about it here, so I am blogging HERE now. At least for a time. xo