diary dear
i got sent home halfway at work today
cannot stop crying
until i am unable to function and work properly
its like.. my tears will fall by itself while serving customers
tried to smoke during lunch and i was tearing while smoking
spent the rest of lunch time just crying so hard on backroom table, i was shivering
i really don't know how to get through everything
im so afraid that he will never contact me anymore
so afraid that i finally pushed him till he don't wanna have anything to do with me anymore
that i will just be a client that he doesn't even wanna see or keep
it was never my intention to force anything on him
i just get so emotional that i became clingy and demanding
我真的不是故意的
but i also don't dare to text him anymore
fearing that he will be even more irritated receiving msgs from me
the last time i cannot stop crying in January, he was there supporting me through the period
cos at that point of time he didn't know it was all because i had feelings for him
but now that i have made those feelings known
he is no longer there to console or listen to me
i can no longer cry on his shoulders and have him console or sayang me
why did everything became this way
为什么每次一喜欢就会把关系闹得那么僵
i really do not know how to continue anymore
my heart hurts literally
everything hurts so bad
wishing that i can apologize for being so emotional
but i don't even dare to
i miss him. so much.
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