2016 hearing from faith 1st entry

It's been so long since i have blog.

Things have be quite rough for me.

Having to like you for the past 3+ years are not easy at all for me. I know it's not your fault to not like me, i believe u tried to keep the friendship between us. Maybe is me that is too greedy, every time when we are close, i seems to ask for more. As much as i only want to be by your side, be your friend, as long as you are happy, i guess i didn't keep up to your expectation.

Knowing you were upset on your birthday celebration because you know she was attached is a blow to me. You, not telling me is just so you. But she, i treated her my best friend. I tells her everything, and i trusted her so much. You know how i felt when everyone knows and i was just in the dark?

And now? You all just left the group chat, go out without me. Am i such a nobody to you all? You all can just goes on with your life not wondering how am I? Do i have to be the one that always contact you first?

I am upset because both of you hide it from me, and not because that you like her. But i'm even more upset that none of you bother about how i felt and just left me alone.

Why no one ever care about how i felt. Nobody cares. I'm only left with memories. How we count down for Christmas in 2014, how we went to BKK, how we meet up every other weeks, chills and club together every month. How we countdown to 2015 together and then i ended up crying and you hug me. They are all just memories now.

Did any of you wonder how i live for the past 3 months? I just stayed home or was with my nanny 95% of the time.

When my grandma past away. I didn't cried at all except once. Why? I guess i wasn't that close to her after all. I barely see her especially the past few years, i have never seen her. I only cried when you texted me. I'm such an unfilial grandchild. But still i don't know why i cried when i sees your text.

Anyway, i hope that you and also she are both doing well. I lost both of you at once. I'm trying very hard to okay and look fine. But still hope that both of you are happy.

2012 hearing from Faith 11th entry

Midnight 2+am Cancer text me.. She ended everything with me.. She think that she will leave me sooner or later.. And she is struggling inside and dun tink it's fair to me and is hurting me more.. So she dun wanna drag things anymore..

For the first time i feel so happy being dump!! lolx.. But at the same time i feel bad.. She feel bad becuz she dump me and hurt me.. But i'm nothing good too.. But i duno how to tell her to make her feel better.. Can't be telling her dat i fall for someone else and also wan to end things with her right?? I dun wanna hurt her.. But i guess i make her feel bad instead.. But which one is worst?? Hmmm...

2012 hearing from Faith 10th entry

On Wednesday, we planed to go Club hop dat days, and i finally went to sch!! lolx.. During class, she told me Scorpio is goin to Herstory!! OMG, i just have to see her again.. After sch ends, i rush to 313 to meet Angel, Xinyi & AiAi.. Then Angel and AiAi head to Loof for a drink first, while Xinyi and we head to Bellini Room to put our bags.. Before i even put my bag, i saw Scorpio, OMG, and she say hi to me, i juz say hi back and wen to put my bag.. But i feel like dying!! I'm so happy to see her, i wanna talk to her so badly, but i tink i shdn't, i juz walk out w/o saying anything.. Juz wanna tell Xinyi to KILL ME PLS!!!!!

After dat, Xinyi wen to join Jeanice, Calean and Beishi while i head to Broadwalk to join Seth's they all to drink.. And Scorpio text me first, asking me not to get drunk and take care.. Ahhhh, I melted!!! After drinking i head in and dance wit her whole nite.. We are quite close at some point of time.. Whenever we go smoke, toilet or back to dance floor, she will hold my hand, not juz holding but finger interlock kind.. Feeling like in heaven for that few secs.. And she keep ganna hit on the head accidentally by her fren.. ahaha.. Give me chance again to lie on my shoulder and i rub her head..

After club, we were waiting for each other wanting to head to Mac, she's still abit high, i wen quickly wen to buy TehPing and water, as she want to drink, and i guess she will feel better after drinking.. But long queue sia, and all juz left me lor, oni she called and ask why i disappear.. So touch.. Den we slack and talk, eat and take photos all the way until 6am and cab home and we text until later on wen we were abt to sleep..

Thursday morning liao.. Then i head to Cancer's place.. I oni reach there at 7.20am sia.. Almost want to die liao.. Den i quickly go shower and den go sleep.. We woke up in the afternoon, head out to buy lunch and titbits and Somersbay and head back to slack and eat and watch tv!! Night time head out to buy dinner again after dat watch some Thai movie before we go to sleep at 2+am.. Next morning she got work, we cab to near her workplace there, ate Mac breakfast, send her to work den i head home!!
After i reach home, i show my sister the photo i took with Scorpio.. Then i told her dat Wed i was wit Scorpio and Thur was wit Cancer..
I guess i already got an answer!!
Den i told her that wen i was wit Cancer, i kept tinking of Scorpio.. And den she ask me, "Then when u r wit Scorpio leh?" I told her, "I hope cancer don't appear!!!!!"

2012 hearing from Faith 9th entry

Past few days was lazy and crazy!!

On Monday, I was feeling so sian to go to school, ended up i was late!!! I reach town at 7.20pm and decided to walk walk window shopping, at about 8pm then reach Kaplan, waited for my class to have break, sign my attendance and went to meet Angel and Xinyi..

The 3 of us is like 花痴 liddat!! Who night looking at the phone, thinking why she never reply, why she online and still never reply, or wen she finally reply, we go crazy!!! And after that wen she stop reply, we are so depressed.. ahahahaha..

We had dinner at Coffee Club and den head to Cine Kbox meet another Angeline to sing k.. Instead of the $10 per person and sing for 3hrs.. Ended up we go for $139net, 4 of us can sing for 6+hrs until 6am and a bottle of Martell!! So cheap rite?? Ended up i was drink at 4+am, puke until i can die and cab home.. Abit moody cuz of 花痴..

On Tuesday, i woke up at 11+ and puke again.. OMG, feel like shit!! After wen back to sleep until 3+pm.. Was so nua and everything.. Angel and Xinyi decided to go gym and swim becuz of their 'her'!! I got no mood and still hangover, so nvr go sch again and wen to meet them to go swim at SK and den eat dinner and walk to HPlaza to play L4D until morning and took bus home!! Crazy..

2012 hearing from Faith 8th entry

"If you meet someone who is deep, mysterious and magnetically attractive they are probably a #Scorpio!!"

OMG, just 2-3days passed, now i don't know what to do.. Things happened so fast that i don't know how to choose?? I don't want to regret again!! I've made the wrong choice once, i don't want to make the same mistake again!!

But i know i feel differently already.. What shd i do?

I'm feeling so bastard now lar!! I don't want to hurt anyone also!!

Now i don't to look forward to the Phuket trip anot sia!!

OMG, headache!!! FML

If i get to know u the day i met you, mayb next day i wun ask for another 2week, den there wun be this Phuket trip!! It's all about TIMING!! I'm so screwed now!!! FUCK!!

Now i have to choose, i don't even know wat i myself want now la!! CB!!!

One is so emotional, insecure, sensitive, romantic, u will just want to protect her and make her happy! But she always push me away and i'm affected and don't know i can hang on for how long more..

The other one is idk, just one word ATTRACTIVE, i don't mean the looks, but her charactoristic!! It just tell me that i muz get to know her more.. I definiately have a big crush one her!!

OMG!!!!

2012 hearing from Faith 7th entry

Since she gave me this second chance, things are goin well so far.. We have been so happy and excited this few days..

But suddenly, the feeling seems unreal!! Or is it too REAL?? I don't know how to discribe the feeling.. Sigh.. Is it that i'm thinking too much?? She never ever tells me how she feel, I can't seems to know what she's thinking!! Hate that feeling.. Haix..

At first she wanted to end everything, i ask for another 2weeks, just to try again or just let me be stubborn! And now, suddenly she's giving me so much more!! I shd be happy!! I am!! But i also got so many question marks..

Is it because i finally touch her heart, or after my b'dae she will be gone again!!

I think i'm scared!!

Okay, i should stop thinking so much, as i always, happy jiu hao!! The more i expect something, ended up i might be disappointed.. So just be HAPPY right now with what i have.. Enjoy all the time i have with you and have more good memories with YOU!

不在乎天长地久， 只在乎曾经拥有！

2012 hearing from Faith 6th entry
"#Cancer and #Virgo are goal-orientaed and disciplined. They are sincere and devoted to one another and share a strong sense of purpose."
Cheryl showed me the place & I ONs her to go!!
On Sunday, was looking at the pictures of a Phuket resort.. OMG it's so beautiful!! They even have a private infinity pool or jacuzzi in the room itself!! Picture below..



The moment i reach home, I book the air ticket immediately!! This is crazy!! Haha..
To make sure she dun change her mind, i book st8 away!!
On Monday, have decided to go for 2 resorts.. Serenity Resort (above) & Malisa Villa Suites (below).. Cuz the other one looks damn good also..


Both looks so beautiful, tell me how to choose? So I have a go Malisa Villa Suite for the first 2days and den change to Serenity Resort for the 3rd & 4th day..
We are so excited about the trip!! Can't wait to go there!!
Cool right?? It's like a once in a life time must go kinda place!! Can't wait for September to come now!!!

2012 hearing from Faith 5th entry
Cheryl Chan
You are all that I want and can ask for.

You are the one and only.

You are the one I want to LOVE so much.

You are the one that I care so much about.

Your feeling is the most important to me.

You happiness is all I want to give you.

You sad or angry, I want to be by your side and make u smile again.

Your success and excitement, I want to share you joy with you.

You scare or fear, I will be there to protect you.

You need someone, I will be there.

You want to talk, I will be your listening ear.

You want something, I will do anything I can to give you.

I will be honest and faithful to you.

I want to love you with all my heart and take care of you like a Princess.

I will try my best to keep surprising you and keep the fire burning.

I will hug you tight.

I will cuddle you to sleep.

I will hold ur hand and never let go.

I miss you so much!!!
My gut feeling tells me u have feeling for me. But issit dat u r really insecure & emo or is my gut feeling wrong? Sigh.. I really duno wat else i can do le.. Arrrgghhh!!

2012 hearing from Faith 4th entry

OMG, i can seriously miss you 24/7 as long as u are not by my side.. How???

We are like so near yet so far now.. :( You are at AMK Hub and I'm at AMK station, we are just a traffic light away.. But you are with ur friend, i don't want to interrupt.. But i just want to see you so badly, even for just 5mins..

Been sitting here for an hour le.. Will i get to see you or not? I also duno..

I don't want to stress you, so not going to let you know that i'm here unless you ask.. Let's see our fate!!

2012 hearing from Faith 3rd entry

Today was the first time i feel date we are really dating! For the past few weeks, everytime we meet, somehow ended up in a group.. I dun mean that it wasn't fun, but wit ppl around, i'm afraid dat u dun like if i'm too close to you..
Why u emo? Issit bcuz of me? Did i do something wrong?
Batman was that bad after all.. And i enjoyed my 3hrs wit you, holding ur hand and you laying on my shoulder was the best thing for me.. I feel more sweet den the popcorn.. Lolx..
But why the day muz end dat way? All sweet things come to an end?
And now, i'm missing you so much!! Got sch for the next 3nites, omg, like wen will i see you again!! :(
Hope things will be fine tmr! I duno how long i can stay strong!! BUT I WILL!!!!