It’s day 2 of a new year.

I had always loved the feeling of ushering a brand new year, but this time around, it feels different.

2015 has been one heck of a year. It’s a year where i must have felt the widest array of emotions within 365 days. Right till the very last few days… i couldn’t really bring myself to feel joyful for the festive period.

I can’t complain, because although i had more bad times than good times, i’m still happy for the great opportunities that i was given in the past year.

But 2015 – a year of losses, a year of regrets, a year of tears for me and the closest people around me. I lost someone i loved tremendously even if it was for the better, i lost a friend whom i was once closed to and along the way i seemed to have lost myself again. When i let emotions rule over my mind, nothing positive comes out of it.

& when i lay on my bed, thinking about the past year, i’m overwhelmed by emotions.  Happy for the many trips that i had this year, although they were all short trips. Happy that i went for 2 overseas rave party. Happy that i had done well in my job. And most of all, happy for the people who have really stuck around in my darkest moment.

Sad that a person i loved and cherished so dearly couldn’t be a part of my life as a significant other anymore. Sad that my friends around me experienced greater losses and to see them in such immense pain really broke my heart. Sad that there was a sudden twist of fate between a friend and I and that things will never go back to how it was. And most of all, sad that i didn’t love myself enough.

For 2016, all i want to do is to love myself more and to spend more time with the people matter.

I know I know, this seems wrong on so many levels. Having a drink in the midst of studying. But I can’t help it, I’m feeling so restless from burying myself with all the notes for the past 5 days! & since I can’t get out of my house, I’ll just chill out at home with a bottle of moscato. It kinda lifted up my mood for a bit.

Okay, it has officially been 7 days that i’ve been stuck at home. My feet is much better now. I can finally walk without feeling any pain. The blisters have more or less dried up but have not totally disappeared. Have to head back to the GP tmr for a review. I honestly can’t wait to step foot out of my house and travel to town or something. Cooped up like a bird in a cage.

So the past few days, while i was bored, i was looking through my old blog (as usual) and i found so many pictures that were taken during my poly days. Awww, i really miss H10 & all the fun times we had! All those fond memories.

H10 Boleh, always remembered! ❤

Okay, so guess what? Yours truly has been on a winning streak lately. Not in monetary terms, but in terms of being sick. I’ve been diagnosed with a disease that is usually apparent in children, & yes you’re right, it’s HFMD.

LIKE WTF?! SERIOUSLY?! How in the blue world did i get that?! Must be from one of the kids that i came in contact with at work. Considering the fact that my work area is pretty open and exposed, makes me more susceptible to all these viruses.  First was H1N1 last time, and now this? Le sigh. i think i need to build up on my immunity.  Gonna battle all these flu bugs and viruses with a Redoxon a day!

Oh and i must express my unhappiness on the treatment that i received at CGH. To begin with, my impression of CGH has never been under the favourable light.  Reason being, i’ve heard far too many stories on the poor services provided to the patients and how the doctors and nurses there seem to be uncertain of their job scope or even giving proper diagnosis.

& so on thurs i went to my GP and was referred to CGH A&E because the GP felt like it wasn’t the usual HFMD and wanted me to seek a second opinion, preferably from a skin specialist. But unfortunately it was fully booked, but i still decide to make my way to CGH to see if they could squeeze me in a slot.  As usual, A&E makes you wait for hours , & i waited for a good 1 and a half hours before consulting the doctor.

The first thing the doctor asked me was ” So what’s wrong with you?” & his tone wasn’t even empathetic. It felt like he was asking for the sake of asking and seemed completely uninterested in the patients. & so i went on telling him i had suspected HFMD. He then began to ask me a few questions then went off without excusing himself. So i was left sitting there for 5 minutes before he came back with another female doctor. Had to repeat my whole story AGAIN and then the doctors just did some checks on my mouth and said “okay, yes this is HFMD. There is no medicine so you just need to go home and rest, we will give you one week of  MC”.

I was like okayyyyyy, so is there even any painkillers to help ease the pain because the blisters on my feet are hurting to badly and it doesn’t even look like the ones a typical HFMD patient should be getting? It felt like i had to keep asking before they would actually give me something to ease my discomfort. But all i got was just paracetamols, calamine lotion & bonjela. With that, i slowly made my way home, limping.

4 days later, my blisters on my feet got worst. It was so bad to the extent i couldn’t even set foot on the ground. Or if i really needed to, i had to tip-toe. So my folks decided i should seek a second opinion again since it doesn’t seem to be getting well although the spots on my hands were fading and the ulcers in my throat were almost gone. This time we went to NUH A&E. & i should have gone there straight in the first place.

The doctors and nurses there were very professional. The way they speak and analysed my situation, you know that they are not just bullshitting you and trying to get you out of the place asap just to clear the queue. They gave me a jab on the butt to ease the pain for my blisters , did a blood test and gave me oral medication for my blisters.  & i felt much better almost immediately after the jab. The pain was minimal and i could walk, although i still had to be careful not to burst the blister.

NUH is still the best. Even though it’s far, i think in future i’d just head straight there instead of going to any other A&E. Besides, they’ve got all my records stored. Lesson learnt – Never go to CGH.

Keeping my fingers crossed. Really hope the blister will subside after 5 days. I’ve my exams on sunday and i’ve a trip to HK next wednesday! I can’t afford to miss it 😦 have been anticipating it for so longggggggggg.

Okay, back to the books.  Enough time wasted ranting.

I am gonna start saving so that i can go next year! This is way too awesome to miss and i should experience it at least once in my life, right?

Yay to a haircut after two months. Wow, i think that’s record breaking for me. My hair was in a mess and so out of shape i hate it.

It’s gonna be the second quarter of 2012. Man, how is it that time flies by so disgustingly fast?! But well, so far the first quarter has been relatively fine. Was too busy with school, work, achiever’s night and well prolly…drinking too?

My liver really needs a break. Have been washing it weekly that i think it’s gonna be worn out soon. & before my pocket bleeds dry.

Exams are in a month’s time. I better get down to studying soon because as always, im such a huge procrastinator, and the more i drag… the lesser time i’ll have.

It has been 11 days into a brand new year already. Things are well, pretty okay thus far. Apart from the fact that i think i blew my whole bonus on partying and gifts, paying for my credit card bills(which really does cost a bomb) and what not for the whole December season. Im now left with surviving with a measly amount of money in my bank account.  I know right, what a way to start the new year!

Dollars & cents aside, a new semester has begun. My first lesson for the trimester commences in about 17 hours time. This time around i opted for only two modules, in hope that i will be able to cope better and get better grades. Im still waiting for my overall grades from last semester modules. I reckon it should be in by this week. Boy am i nervous! :O

A brand new year is like a reset button. Goals are being re-looked at and new accomplishments are listed down, in hope that we will all make them happen. Frankly speaking,  i do have a number of things i wish to accomplish this year as well. 2011 hasn’t exactly been one of the best years in my life. In fact, i think it’s one of the pretty rocky ones. So much for head over heart, really. I think i really need more mind power this year.

I’ve always wished i had a redemption ticket, to redeem myself. Countless things i wished i hadn’t done. Actions and words that have strained my relationship with a few people in my life. Sometimes, i wish i’d be more appreciative of the people around me and vice versa.

Found this on tumblr, and i think it basically sums up what 2011 was like for me.

I know this reflection came a tad late ( like 10 days after new year), but oh wellll, better late than never? 2012, i won’t ask you to be kind to me. Instead, im gonna try to make the best out of it. They say this year is a pretty good year for those born in the year of the Snake. Well, let’s keep our fingers crossed and hope it’s true, come what may.