Five Carpenters



photo by Dejah Morris



photo by Dejah Morris

I love to tease my mom about the food she made when I was growing up. I know. It's not nice. She still loves me. Truth be told I'm like most kids who have a dish or two that no one makes as well as Mom did. This soup (her favorite thing to make) is slightly green (my favorite color), creamy and perfect for a cold day (and by that I mean anything under 65 degrees here in SoCal). She's made it twice for activities at church recently and both time people asked me to ask her for the recipe (not because she's intimidating... I'm just available on line more often).

This is my Christmas gift to you. Make it. Share it. Claim it as your own. I won't tell.

J.R.'s Mulligatawny Soup

3 T butter
2 bunches chopped green onions
3/4 C chopped onion
saute until onions are clear then add
4 T flour
stir & add
2 Qts Chicken broth
2 T curry
1 1/4 C raw rice
1/2 pint cream
2 med Granny Smith apples (peeled & diced)
2 C diced cooked chicken
Salt & Pepper to taste
Cook on low until rice is cooked stirring frequently.

Sixteen years ago I was at an activity for the young single adult members of the local branch of my church. The person(s) in charge of the activity totally slacked their responsibility, so we were just sitting around. I decided to be productive and introduce myself to people I hadn't met yet. A few minutes later I came to a young Marine...who would not tell me his name. His response to my request, "If you really want to know, you'll find out."

He was right.

Nowadays I call him lots of things:
Father of my children
Babe
Har (sometimes Haaaaar!)
CARPEN'R (when he's not listening to me)
Sweetie
Boyfriend (the kids hate it when I use this one)
Perv
Husband (lucky me!)

but today we all can all call him...
The Birthday Boy!
He's 37.
Yes, that's younger than me. I'm good like that.


Opening gifts with his helpers

I'm an optomistic person by nature - always have been. I try to only complain to my closest friends who will recognize the true me underneath all the whiney mess. And yet....I find myself unendingly mad at someone (or maybe several someones) that I've never met and need a place to vent in the real world. My head is getting sick of the same angry ramblings on a daily basis. Sooooo.....

Welcome to my rant!

We're unemployed...and I say that like a man might say "We're pregnant!" As a family we've decided it's my job to be the main care taker for our home and children. Harland's unplanned 20 months of unemployment hasn't changed that.

We paid Cobra costs for our health care insurance as long as we were eligible. Now we're on Medi-Cal. It took me several months to bring myself to apply. We've gone through our meager savings and haven't gone into debt. We've survived rather well, partially in thanks to living with my mom and partially because we had no debt to begin with. We're not on food stamps, although I'm sure we'd qualify. We are actively involved in our children's schools and church activities. We don't have our kids in sports or music lessons, because it's out of our budget.  We've made lots of sacrifices. I don't need to list them. I'm not looking for a pity party.

My point is we are honestly doing our best to weather this "storm" and maintain our standards.

Yet, both Harland and I on separate occassions (more than once each) have heard employed people complaining about their job or "wishing" they could just take help from the government instead of working. Generally, it's people who don't know us or our circumstance, but....seriously?!

We are - even in our circumstance - trying to heed the prophet's counsel to be grateful. I supposed that is a blessing/ benefit of believing in the current prophet of our Lord. (Want to know more - just ask me!) I can't expect others to believe the same thing.

There's the rub. The longer we're unemployed, the more I realize how blissfully ignorant other people are.

For example, Harland applied for a job in July at a new hotel that is opening in Park City. He got a call within a few days scheduling an interview. The guy not only didn't call on the scheduled day, but didn't answer Harland's call either....until a month later. Then he got passed on to another Guy who has not kept a single phone appointment (he kept the one in person appointment) or deadline that he gave himself. NOT ONE. The last time Harland talked to The Guy he excitedly gave him details/benefits of the job and all but offered him the job then said he would call in 2 days. I called my sister who lives in Utah to share my excitement about the possibility of having a job and being close to her. We sat on pins and needles waiting for him to call.

It's been more than 3 weeks.

Harland emailed him once and never got a return answer. You'd think we'd "get a clue", realize they chose another candidate, and move on. Well, in a sense, we have, since Harland is applying for all sorts of jobs and has a fairly good local lead. But when someone has such a reputation of not keeping appointments it is difficult to give up hope. Actually, at this point, hope is all we seem to hang on to. Daily I stop myself from sending him a nasty email by writing it in my head.

Unfortunately, this is not unique in Harland's long search for a job. Not even a little. Employers constantly avoid the unpleasant task of informing the candidate that they are not hiring. Some have even passed it off to other people who weren't involved in the hiring process. Some just wait weeks before they let you know. Others (the kind we like) call and field Harland's questions about why he wasn't hired and what he could've done better in the interview process (must give those guys big props).

This isn't just a job search for Harland. This is a job search for our whole family. Occassionally, like the Park City job, we even share our excitement with people we love. When we wait, they wait. When we get disappointed, so do they. So, when you ask how things are if I answer "fine", please understand. I don't need to pull anyone else into our circle of disappointment. 

And if you are in charge of hiring people or know someone who is... man up. Do the unpleasant tasks now. Don't make me wait. It's just rude.    

I haven't blogged in more than a month. A month! Perhaps because I'm enjoying my children being home from school...and Har still being gainfully unemployed. For example, next week we'll be camping here (p.s. we're not using a camper - because we don't have one).

We gave Aunt Kay a lift from LAX to Santa Barbara and decided to check out the beaches. We got our exercise and toured the coast on this cool...bike. I guess you'd call it that. It was the perfect day: cool and sunny. Funny enough, I think our favorite part was when we drove through the Santa Barbara Cemetary on our way home. Beautiful views. My camera phone couldn't capture the beauty of this tree on the edge of the bluff with the ocean behind. Gorgeous. Not to mention the fascinating history just reading the gravestones. Is it weird that I like cemetaries?

CHEFS

J.R. with her fancy crepe pan
Emma and I saw a cooking show where this chef woman with crazy hair made crepes. We've been wanting to make them ever since. We saved it on our DVR because crazy-haired chef lady didn't have the recipe on her show's website. *hmpf!*

We had to wait for fresh cherries to go on sale. (Harland never misses that. I think he ate 5 lbs. by himself that week.) Lucky for me, it was the week of my birthday. We pitted ours (something new to try!) and made a yummy topping. Inside was a mixture of marscapone cheese, a little sugar and mini chocolate chips.

Emma working hard (see the tongue?) to make crepes in a regular pan.


This was the delicious result. Birthday cake paled in comparison to this dessert. Mmmmmm.

I'm not one to lie about my age. I say embrace your age...well, in theory. Last week, Rachel, my BFF, turned 39 (sorry to out you, sista). We had a rip roaring weekend where she got to eat whatever she wanted and not make any plans (yes, this is what is exciting to us these days)! Tomorrow is my turn. We're grilling (after church) and will have a fairly mellow "party" with just my family hanging out...like most Sundays around here.



I'm not against turning 39, but I'm not looking forward to it either. With some introspection (I didn't make that word up. I have a big vocabulary...or maybe I heard it on The Big Bang Theory) the thing that bothers me about being 39 *sigh* is that my next birthday...oh, I don't know if I can say it...I'll ...turn....*choke*....FORTY! 365 days until I am in my forties.

Why?! Why does it bother me so? My wonderful grandmother, Beth Fenton, used to tell me all the time, "Don't get old, dear. It's awful." Thanks, Gram.

But what am I worried about? 40 isn't old! I have friends who are in their forties. Fabulous, cool, funny, women who I admire (or is it "whom" - whatever). So, next year I could celebrate my 2nd annual 39th birthday....

...but instead I have 365 days to embrace the milestone that is coming my way. If I'm going to embrace it then I want a big party. I'm not talking a couple of my close friends at Chili's either. I'm talking throw down, all out, everyone I know is invited celebration of AnnaBeth.

Next year. Put it on your calendar, especially, if you are one of those women I love in their 40s (and if you are reading my blog, then I love you). I want every wonderful woman in her 40s that I know to come and share your secrets, share all the things you love about your age.

June 6, 2011.
Party.
My house.

Ok, so the year isn't over, but this week Emma and one of her besties, Amber, got inducted into California Junior Scholarship Federation for their hard work, good grades, and time spent volunteering. Aren't they lovely?

Last weekend Har had ditched us for a roadtrip with his BFF, Norman. We had no birthday parties, school concerts, church activities...nuthin. I love that rare Saturday where no one expects me/us anywhere. Love it.



Take that Saturday and add some beautiful, sunny weather. What other choice do we have, but to go to the coast?

So I grabbed my latest issue of Family Fun with an article about Ventura - one of my favorite places to hang out when I was a kid - and decided to do some things in Ventura we haven't done before. No solid plans except to hang out with my kids in the beautiful weather. Emma & Nashers. Why do I love these things you put your head in?

Dedan the octopus

Fantastic day. I wish every Saturday was so perfect. Well, it could've been more perfect....if Har was with us, but we won't fault him for hanging with Uncle Norman.

There was this little hat store where we tried lots on. Emma seemed to prefer the funny food hats.

My gator boys.

Ice cream tastes better at the beach, especially if there's a giant cone outside the store.

We got to the beach and my kiddos played together in the sand "dunes" by the parking lot for 20 minutes before we even walked down to the water.

Emma is a big nerd who is teaching her brothers her "model" pose. Seriously.

Nash & me at a little hole in the wall fish & chips place on Seaward...

the whole place is decorated with dollar bills that people wrote on. Pretty cool.

A friend recently reminded me how Harland locked himself out of a car he was borrowing on our first date when he walked me to the door. It was late. He decided not to bother his friend and slept on my couch. I should've taken that as an indicator - he's easily distracted....but I like his version of the next morning. Ask him sometime.

When we met we lived just a few minutes away from my BFF, Rachel. She was dating (and later married) JP. Har and JP became instant friends when they didn't have to...well, they kinda did.For our anniversary this year he gave me a card that reads:

Here's to us. To what we've done:

Stayed together.

Supported each other.

Been happy.

Made something of ourselves.

Grew up.

Changed.

Defied the odds.

I'm proud of that.

Proud of us.

In love with you.

Still.

Always.

Best decision I ever made!