Friday, March 22, 2013

Love my Family thiiiiiiiiis much!!!!

Family Pictures November 2012
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Thursday, March 21, 2013

Being Present:

 Boy do I love looking at those faces!!

Makes me wonder what I ever did to deserve those three treasures??

They are obviously at school right now...because in a few hours after we have gone through  homework, room cleaning, friends running through the house, dinner with a "Not that again!" and maybe a "That is so gross", and scrubbing the grime off them (other wise known as bath time) ...

I may just be tempted to look at them and sigh....loudly! haha

But the truth is....I don't want to sigh...and I especially don't want to yell. They don't need that... I don't need that... Joe definitely does not need that, after a working so hard all day to provide a great life for us. He deserves to come home to a calm, happy home...not all of the time...but most of the time.

I am working on this...hard...I am having to work really hard.

It requires many rewind moments. I will say...."okay, wait a minute...that is not how I wanted this conversation to go....let's rewind, and restart."

Sometimes I step into my room and take a deep breath...and talk to myself (crazy, I know).

"Steph... you are so blessed to have healthy, beautiful kids. They are JUST kids. Be patient and LISTEN. Teach them....do not dictate."

I get into this "Mom role" where I feel the need to control the outcome. I honestly don't feel that is the true role of a mother. Sure the kids need direction, guidance. Kids need to be presented with choices that will bring about a favorable outcome...but my role is not to DEMAND that there be one.

The key for me is to remain focused and present, otherwise I lose sight of my purpose as a mother. I lose sight of their purpose as a child of God. Who knows...those huge spirits trapped in those immature bodies, and minds...may be far more advanced than I am. In fact, I am pretty sure of it!!

 I know it is not fair of me...but I get distracted by things that in the grand scheme of things are just not important. Then when I am needed, I act like they are disrupting me???? WHAT? I am their MOM...their resource. I always want them to come to me, trust me, depend on me, know that I can't wait to hear what they have to say. 

So, I will say it again WHAT?? WHY??

Time for a reset, Steph!

 I mean, I am all for a Mom having a little time of her own, but when I am with the kids I need be better at being COMPLETELY present.

Just putting it out there for my own sake...they deserve the very best part of me, and sometimes I fail to give it. I recognize it is human nature to struggle with this... it is just I was in need of a little lecture :) It is time to DO something about it.

Act instead of React.

"Remember you are not managing an inconvenience, you are raising a human being."-Kittie Franz

These kids have so much potential... I think I would be in big trouble if I were to stand in their way of becoming GREAT! The awesome thing is, I have it within in me to HELP them become great. I AM helping them become great...it is just I know I can do better, and...

I WILL!
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Monday, March 18, 2013

Believing Christ

To have faith in Jesus Christ, we must learn to believe his promise of eternal life.
One of the most terrifying dilemmas in the universe consists of two facts. The first is expressed in Doctrine and Covenants 1:31: “I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance.” [D&C 1:31] That means he can’t tolerate it. He can’t blink or look the other way. The other fact is very simply put: We all sin. If the equation consisted of only those two facts, the conclusion would be inescapable: As sinful beings, we can never enter God’s presence.
But that is not all there is. There is the atonement of Jesus Christ—that glorious plan by which this dilemma can be resolved.
And the amazing thing is that the Atonement works in practical ways.

Believing Christ

When my son Michael was six or seven, he did something I thought was wrong. He is my only son, and I want him to be better than his dad was. So when he slipped up, I sent him to his room with the instructions, “Don’t you dare come out until I come and get you!”
And then I forgot. Some hours later, as I was watching television, I heard his door open and tentative footsteps coming down the hall. I slapped my forehead and ran to meet him. There he was with swollen eyes and tears on his cheeks. He looked up at me—not quite sure he should have come out—and said, “Dad, can’t we ever be friends again?” I melted and pulled him to me. He’s my boy, and I love him.
We all do things that disappoint our Father in Heaven, that separate us from his presence, his Spirit. There are times when we get sent to our rooms, spiritually though not physically. When that happens, we sometimes lift up our eyes and say, “O Father, can’t we ever be friends again?” The answer, found in all the scriptures, is a resounding “Yes—through the atonement of Christ.” I particularly like the way it is put in Isaiah 1:18: “Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.” [Isa. 1:18]
To have faith in Jesus Christ is not merely to believe that he is who he says he is. It is not merely to believe in Christ; we must also believe Christ. Both as a bishop and as a teacher, I have heard several variations on a theme of doubt. Some have said, “Bishop, I’ve sinned too horribly. I’ll be active in the Church, and I hope for some reward. But I couldn’t ever hope to be exalted after what I’ve done.” Others have said, “I’m weak and imperfect. I don’t have all the talents that Brother Jones (or Sister Smith) does. I’ll never be the bishop (or the Relief Society president). I’m just average. I expect my reward in eternity will be a little lower than theirs.”
All of these are variations on the same theme: “I do not believe Christ can do what he claims. I have no faith in his ability to exalt me.”
I once counseled a man who said, “Bishop, I’m just not celestial material.” Well, I’d heard those words once too often, so I said, “You’re not celestial material? Welcome to the club. Not one of us is! Not one of us qualifies on our own for the presence of God. So why don’t you admit your real problem? Why don’t you admit that you don’t believe Christ can do what he says he can do?”
He got angry. “I have a testimony of Jesus!”
I said, “Yes, you believe in Christ. You simply do not believe Christ. He says that even though you are not celestial, he can make you celestial—but you don’t believe it.”

Why He Is Called the Savior

Sometimes the demand for perfection drives us to despair. More than a decade ago, my wife and I were living in Pennsylvania. Things seemed to be going well. I’d been promoted in my work and was also serving in the bishopric. Janet had given birth to our fourth child, had graduated from college, had passed the CPA exam, and had been called to serve as Relief Society president. We were busy but happy, and I thought we were doing the right things.
Then my wife began to feel an overpowering sense of discouragement. She asked to be released from her callings, and try as I might, I could not get her to tell me what was wrong.
One night, after two weeks of being prodded by a sometimes insensitive but worried husband, she finally said, “All right. You want to know what’s wrong? I can’t do it anymore. I can’t get up at 5:30 in the morning to bake bread and help my kids with their homework and do my own homework. I can’t do my Relief Society stuff and get my genealogy done and sew and go to the PTA meetings and write the missionaries. …”
She added, “I don’t have the talent that Sister Morrell has. I can’t do what Sister Childs does. I try not to yell at the kids, but I do. I’m not perfect, and I’m never going to be perfect. I’m afraid I’m not going to make it to the celestial kingdom.”
I said, “Janet, I know you have a testimony. …”
“Of course I do! That’s what’s so terrible. I know the gospel’s true. I just can’t do it. I’ve tried and I’ve tried, but I can’t do it all, all of the time.”
It was a long night. At last we came to understand what was wrong. We realized, after talking together, that Janet was trying to save herself. She knew that Jesus is an adviser and a teacher. She knew that he is an example, the head of the Church, our Elder Brother, and even God. She knew all that, but she did not understand His role as the Savior.
We all fail at living the full celestial level. That’s why we need a Savior. The Lord says, “Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.” (Matt. 5:6.) We frequently misinterpret that verse. We think it means “Blessed are the righteous.” It does not. When are you hungry? When are you thirsty? When you don’t have the object of your desire. It is those who don’t have the righteousness that God has—but who hunger and thirst after it—who are blessed, for if that is the desire of their hearts, the Lord will help them achieve it.

Becoming One with Christ

Perfection comes through the atonement of Jesus Christ. That happens as we become one with him, a perfect being. It is like a merger. If you take a small, bankrupt firm that is about to go under and merge it with a corporate giant, what happens? Their assets and liabilities flow together, and the new entity that is created is solvent.
This is similar to what happens spiritually when we enter into a covenant with the Savior. We have liabilities; he has assets. So he proposes a covenant relationship. Jesus is sometimes called the Bridegroom and the Church the Bride, because of their close association under the covenant. After the covenant is made, I become one with Christ, and as partners we work together toward my exaltation. My liabilities and his assets flow into each other. I do all that I can do, and he does what I cannot yet do. For now, in partnership we are perfect, through His perfection.
What heavier burden is there than the demand we sometimes place on ourselves to be perfect now, in this life? But Jesus proposes: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matt. 11:28–30.)

Trust Me

Nephi was one of the great prophets, yet he recognized his need for the Savior. In 2 Nephi 4:17–18, we read of his anguish: “O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.
“I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.” [2 Ne. 4:17–18]
Did Nephi understand his mortal condition?
Oh, yes. But the key to his greatness is what comes next: “Nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.” (2 Ne. 4:19.)
I had a friend who used to say frequently, “Well, I figure my life is half over and I’m halfway to the celestial kingdom, so I’m right on schedule.”
One day I asked her, “What happens if you die tomorrow?” It was the first time the thought had occurred to her.
“Let’s see, halfway to the celestial kingdom is … mid-terrestrial! That’s not good enough!”
We need to know that because of the covenant we have made with the Savior, if we should die tomorrow, we still have hope of the celestial kingdom. That hope is one of the promised blessings of our covenant relationship. Yet many of us do not understand that promise or take advantage of it.
When our twin daughters were young, Janet and I decided to teach them to swim. I started with Rebekah. As we went down into the public pool together, I thought, “I’m going to teach her to swim.” But she thought, “I’m going to drown!” The water was only three and one-half feet deep, but Becky was only three feet tall. She was so terrified that she began to scream and kick. She was unteachable.
Finally, I held her close and said, “Becky, I’ve got you. I’m your dad. I love you. I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you. Now relax.” And bless her heart, she relaxed. She trusted me. I put my arms under her and said, “Okay, now kick your legs.” And she began to learn how to swim.
Spiritually, some of us are so terrified by the questions “Am I celestial? Am I going to make it?” that we cannot make any progress. We’re petrified by our fear. But if we’re trying to follow his teachings and paying attention, we can almost feel the Savior’s arms around us and feel those assurances as the Spirit whispers of the Savior’s love for us: I love you. Trust me. And if we do trust him, he can begin to help us live the gospel. It is as if he supports us, whispering through the Spirit: Okay, now attend sacrament meeting. Very good. Now accept a call to serve. And so we begin to make progress.
Alma 34:14–16 makes it clear that Christ’s atonement was infinite and eternal. As such, it enables mercy to overpower justice so we can have the faith to repent. “And thus mercy can satisfy the demands of justice, and encircles [us] in the arms of safety.”
“The arms of safety”—that is my favorite phrase from the Book of Mormon.
Do Latter-day Saints believe in being saved? Of course we do. That’s why Jesus is called the Savior. What good is it to have a Savior if no one is saved? It’s like having a lifeguard that won’t get out of the chair.
The great truth of the gospel is that we have a Savior who can and will save us from ourselves, from what we lack, from our imperfections, from the carnality within us, if we seek his help. In vision, Joseph Smith described those in the celestial kingdom in these terms:
“These are they whose names are written in heaven, where God and Christ are the judge of all.
“These are they who are just men made perfect through Jesus the mediator of the new covenant.” (D&C 76:68–69.)
Just men and women—those who hunger and thirst after righteousness—made perfect through Jesus Christ, our mediator.

Give Him All

As my wife and I talked that night about feelings of inadequacy, I groped for some way to help. I finally remembered something that had happened a couple of months earlier. In our home it is now called the parable of the bicycle.
I was sitting in a chair reading. My daughter, Sarah, who was seven years old at the time, came in and said, “Dad, can I have a bike? I’m the only kid on the block who doesn’t have one.”
Well, I didn’t have the money then for a bike, so I stalled her. I said, “Sure, Sarah.”
She said, “How? When?”
I said, “You save all your pennies, and soon you’ll have enough for a bike.” And she went away.
A couple ofs weeks later I was sitting in the same chair when I heard a “clink, clink” in Sarah’s bedroom. I asked, “Sarah, what are you doing?”
She came to me with a little jar, a slit cut in the lid, and a bunch of pennies in the bottom. She said, “You promised me that if I saved all my pennies, pretty soon I’d have enough for a bike. And, Daddy, I’ve saved every single one of them.”
My heart melted. My daughter was doing everything in her power to follow my instructions. I hadn’t actually lied to her. If she saved all of her pennies, she would eventually have enough for a bike, but by then she would want a car. I said, “Let’s go look at bikes.”
We went to every store in town. Finally we found it—the perfect bicycle. She was thrilled. Then she saw the price tag, and her face fell. She started to cry. “Oh, Dad, I’ll never have enough for a bicycle!”
So I said, “Sarah, how much do you have?”
She answered, “Sixty-one cents.”
“I’ll tell you what. You give me everything you’ve got and a hug and a kiss, and the bike is yours.” Then I drove home very slowly because she insisted on riding the bike home.
As I drove beside her, I thought of the atonement of Christ. We all desperately want the celestial kingdom. We want to be with our Father in Heaven. But no matter how hard we try, we come up short. At some point all of us must realize, “I can’t do this by myself. I need help.” Then it is that the Savior says, in effect, All right, you’re not perfect. But what can you do? Give me all you have, and I’ll do the rest.
He still requires our best effort. We must keep trying. But the good news is that having done all we can, it is enough. We may not be personally perfect yet, but because of our covenant with the Savior, we can rely on his perfection, and his perfection will get us through.
As Janet and I internalized how the Atonement works, we wept. “I’ve always believed that Jesus suffered and died for me,” Janet said. “But now I realize that he must save me from myself, from my sins and my weaknesses.”
I rejoice in the words of 2 Nephi 2:8: “There is no flesh that can dwell in the presence of God, save it be through the merits, and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah.” [2 Ne. 2:8] There is no other way. Many of us are trying to save ourselves, holding the atonement of Jesus Christ at arm’s distance and saying, “When I’ve perfected myself, then I’ll be worthy of the Atonement.” But that’s not how it works. That’s like saying, “I won’t take the medicine until I’m well. I’ll be worthy of it then.”
One of my favorite hymns reads: “Dearly, dearly has he loved! And we must love him too, and trust in his redeeming blood, and try his works to do.” (“There Is a Green Hill Far Away,” Hymns, 1985, no. 194.)
Truly, we must try to do his works with all that is in us. But then, having done all, we can trust in his redeeming blood to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves.
If we will enter into that glorious covenant Jesus offers us and give him all that we have, holding nothing back, trusting in his ability to make up for what we lack, he will exalt us. With him pulling with and for us, we can move forward in confidence toward our celestial home.
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Mountain to Climb:



There are those that are asked to do such terribly hard things...I will never understand it fully. This touched me deeply, it made my heart ache for those asked to go through the unimaginable, as well as putting my small trials in comparison, into a crystal clear perspective. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for all of the amazing examples I have in my life!
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Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Weekend to Remember:

Last weekend I was able to go to down to Bryan Head with an amazing group of women for a Retreat. It was an absolutely incredible experience!! It was held at a Lodge that was tucked back in the gorgeous snow covered mountains. We took advantage of the snow and sunshine combination, and went snowshoeing everyday. To hike up to those peaks, find a little spot all my own, and look out over the valley and just have time to reflect and prioritize was among those moments I will never forget.

 We learned about: Body, Nutrition, Relationships, Companionship, Time management, Spiritual growth, Improving our own Environment, Parenting, Coping with Stressful Situations....I gained so much from this weekend I am just completely overwhelmed with gratitude!!

While we were there we did a lot of mapping out goals, and dreams. One of the points that really hit me hard was the challenge to set my standards higher than anyone would ever dare ask of me....to expect greatness out of myself....to exceed my own expectations, and  that I have been given a voice...so I need to use it! This does not mean that I will never let anyone down...it means that when I do I will not fall into self-pity, blame, or guilt. I take it as a lesson, an opportunity, and step up a bit....or a lot.

In one of the exercises I was asked to write what my purpose is in being.... STEPH. I love this question, I feel like there is so much power behind it! I am planning to keep working on this...changing it....growing it....fine tuning it. This is not a description of where I feel I am at, but rather a description of a level where I feel I am meant, and working to be. This is what I have came up with so far:

I am here to be refined! I look at trials, challenges, and resistance as opportunity- this is my purpose- to grow myself! I am here to become what my Father in Heaven has created me to be. I am loving, kind, brave, and strong. Nothing holds me back! I pull those that surround me to a higher ground with me.

I care for my body in a way that aligns with my values. My body is a gift that I cherish...I continue to feed it... move it, to help it grow stronger, fueled with energy; a vehicle to serve and love. I am aware that my body houses my spirit...which is the TRUE me. My body reflects my gratitude to my Father in Heaven for blessing me with this gift! I refuse to let my body hold my spirit back from what it is meant to become.

I utilize the Atonement daily. I let go of past mistakes, weaknesses, and false limiting beliefs about myself, because through the Atonement I am allowed to do so. I am expected to do so. In letting go, I am able to move forward with freedom. I am at peace with who I am....and by feeling at peace with myself, I give myself permission to grow to a level I never thought possible. I am a daughter of God....there is nothing ordinary about me or those I am surrounded by....we are ALL precious children of our Father in Heaven, this knowledge comes with great responsibility, to unconditionally love, serve, and learn from everyone I meet.

I am so grateful for this life's experiences, and have chosen to let go of the fear of what lies ahead, and instead anticipate, and make the most of it. I know that God has my back...he will take care of me. Whatever he has in store for me is for my benefit. I trust him, and know that everything that occurs in my life is done out of love for me personally. I am never alone! I am never alone. I feel his presence in my life daily and I am more aware of it, the more time I spend in scripture study, prayer, and quiet meditation.

I can do anything I set my mind to. I will prepare, learn insatiably, and head in the direction of my dreams. As I ask for doors to be opened, God will provide opportunities where my unique gifts and personal strengths will pave a road to personal fulfillment.

He has trusted me with three of his most precious souls. I am here to be their guide...not to control, or manipulate into what I feel they should be; but to teach them, ask God to make up for my shortcomings as a teacher, and then trust them...give them space to BE. They are blessed with their own unique gifts. What may seem like a mistake to me, may be an experience that they need to have for their own growth. I build them up by praising theirs efforts...praising their individual worth. By showing unconditional love, and by being fully present, they will learn to trust me....rely on me as a confidant in times of need. I listen to them....really listen to what they are saying. I seek first to understand....not to be understood.

Joe is my greatest blessing! I love him, I trust him, he is my hero!! I continuously work on loving him at a higher level by serving him without expecting anything in return. I ask the right questions to always make sure we are connected and that I am understanding his world and his needs.The communication lines between us are ALWAYS open. I listen without judgement. He wants nothing but the best for me...any resistance that arises between us is just to help us grow closer, and have a deeper love and respect for each other. I am armed with the knowledge of his love for me and that he loves me just the way I am. I am enough, and I never doubt that. My standards for myself are so high, that anytime he is let down or disappointed in me, I just take it as message of an area I get to focus on and improve, to meet my own standards for MYSELF. I exceed my own expectations. I am deeply grateful for the strengths that Joe possesses that balance out my weaknesses. I am a better person with Joe in my life.
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Thursday, February 21, 2013

Hello Blog!

Well hi blog!

I know I have been bad...please forgive.

 I like you. I do.

You are so good for me. You clean up my head....I dish....you take....and WhaaaaaLa! I feel like a new woman...with a brand new perspective.

I want to share with you...it is just I have stuff going on you know?

And since you are just my blog...I knew you wouldn't be offended ....I knew you would just wait patiently for me to get my act together.

I am getting there! Last year was a bit tough...nothing big...I just let my emotions get the best of me from time to time. I know, I already told you...but I felt a little overwhelmed with life. Not quite adequate. A little like I wasn't living up to my potential as a mother, wife, friend, daughter, sister. I gave every role a little...but not enough....

So I have been soul searching.....and guess what? I AM ENOUGH!!!!! I am Steph Hurd and I am enough. :) (no I do not say that in front of my mirror...but now I just may start) I am actually better than enough...MORE than enough...I am a daughter of God. I have always known that...but I am a daughter of God, he knows who I am....he knows my potential is limitless (amazing) and he wants to do everything to help me reach unimaginable heights. The problem was, that I was trying to deal with too much on my own...I forgot for just a bit that he needed me to ask for help before he would reach out. (Can you tell it became REALLY personal over the past few months?)

Well dear friend....I am back...I may be few and far between....but I need you. I love to reflect on this beautiful life I have been blessed with. Inadequacies and all....this is an absolutely BEAUTIFUL LIFE! The challenges are opportunities to rise above...tap into parts of me I didn't even realized exsisted. The simple everyday moments touch my heart (like when Corinne tailors her "pretty pleases" to whoever she is talking to- ie. I am "pretty please with butterflies, flowers, or pink hearts on top", Joe is "pretty please with ice cream, or hugs and kisses on top", the boys are "pretty please with Legos or race cars on top"). YES! I am overwhelmed with how beautiful this life is. I want to drink it all in, and record the moments that mean the most to me.

So, I am feeling really great. I think I needed last year to be a bit of a low so that I could really look forward to the future and THRIVE....not just survive. I am going to treat myself better....treat the people I love better...and treat the people I can't stand better.....HA! No, those people are on their own (kidding). Really, I am kidding. There are no ordinary people. What is that quote by C.S. Lewis....hold on I will look it up...


"It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship.... There are no ordinary people." C.S. Lewis

Now if THAT doesn't make you think...

Oh yeah, I have been reading......A LOT..... I mean A LOT....and it has helped me ditch my little " pity party" I was throwing, and helped me decide to get to work. I am working on myself... I want to be better...more...but at the same time I love me just the way I am. If I never changed another thing about ME....I am happy. Happy with life, happy with my family, and happy with who I am.

 Now that doesn't mean I want to stay where I am at!

What is the fun in that?

 It just means I have every intent of being HAPPY every step of the way (I am allowing myself "moments", but hopefully they will become few and far between) and enjoy the process of becoming more of what my Father in Heaven sent me here to become.

Well, okay then blog, I told you I needed you :) I have so much more to share....even if it is just you and me...I think by writing this all out I may just save Joe's sanity :) Hooray for sane husbands!!! :)

I am going to share a thought that has really inspired me:


"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible... it's yours."
- Ayn Rand (Russian-American novelist)





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Thursday, September 6, 2012

Little Friends:



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First day of 1st and 3rd Grade....Love my boys!

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Saturday, September 1, 2012

Magical Summer Moments:


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Tuesday, June 5, 2012

 
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