michelle

So this was mentioned to me before. And don't get me wrong, I hear it loud and clear:

"It's always about the choices we make; today it is a choice."

And I do agree with this statement, always have and probably always will, but I have never felt the urge to put that thought into action. Sure, it is a choice, but so what? That is a thought that often comes into my mind. I guess it could be because I have been avoiding deep contemplation of late, preferring instead a more (one could say) mundane existence. Life is complicated enough with so much homework due, and all the practice sessions I used to have to attend, socialising with the team and my trusty Singaporeans seemed to make me content enough so why delve deeper?

I've been having late night conversations with Jonathan these few days and they have been very enjoyable and light-hearted, but more importantly enlightening. We had reflected on many things and it seems that we share a lot in common, in terms of mindsets and perspectives. The conversation drifted from socializing with Americans, the types of Singaporeans and their accents, reflecting on schoolwork and our purposes. Why he chose the US education system over UK, personal lives, deep conversation with Americans, shallow dinner table talk. We mixed it up with the trivial stuff to but overall an entertaining but intellectual discussion at the same time. I kind of miss that, yet, I don't know if miss is really the right word, just because I do not think that I actually used to do this sort of thing in Singapore in the first place. And secondly, Jon brought up a great point: it could be a general sentiment that all foreigners and people that are alien to a place get when they live there. Maybe a more apt word would be a feeling of alienation - that you are not really a part of that culture no matter what you do and, thus, it is always nice to talk to someone who, in a sense, understands you better.

Well I merely mentioning the topics of our late night conversations does not do justice to the title of my post. And what I really wanted to draw out and highlight was how all these things we talk about really show the choices we've made and things we've chosen to do. I guess I won't be able to speak for Jon but from what I observe, you can see the choices we make in almost every single aspect of that conversation.

Singaporeans and their accents over here. whether you change it to sound like an American but never American enough, or whether you switch between people, or whether you retain your Singapore accent all the time reflects something about you? Whether you choose to change the world or the world chooses to change you? Or is it more a choice of adapting to your environment? And what does it mean really to be one or another?

Additionally, in discussing our educational choices and why we chose the US over the UK and choice of activities we do in school. I really admire Jon for his ability to clearly articulate his purposes in doing what he does. Not because it will look good on his resume, but because he seems genuinely interested in improving a certain aspect of himself and making the effort to work on that. His passion has definitely given me cause for greater reflection.

Looking at my strategically placed whiteboard I see the 3 values I've 'distilled' from that ML values session back during the UGPMET days and it says: GROWTH, INFLUENCING OTHERS, MEANINGFUL WORK.

Interesting how at the moment, the word that really comes to mind is: SINCERITY. And honestly, it seems that that word is what truly encompasses all 3 of the values I've decided were important to me. If you are sincere about something you'd work towards improving yourself to grow in that aspect of it. You'd do things that you felt were truly meaningful. And at the same time, your evident sincerity will very likely rub on to others as well. Just as I felt Jon's has on me. He will probably never read this post, but thank you for those 3 nights of enlightenment.

It is some what of an abrupt end, but, let me conclude by saying that from today, I choose to be sincere in all that I do.

Surprisingly, it seems that I have been pretty oblivious to the fact that it is valentines day. That is not to say that I don't have a nice, free, red, heart-shaped balloon sitting on my desk.

Regardless, I suddenly felt like it was an appropriate time to reflect on my goals. It seems that I have been coasting along of late, possibly taking it easy? I know I am capable of accomplishing so much more. And I will. But I need to set myself feasible goals so that I can get back into the swing of things.

However, before we can talk about goals, we need to talk about purpose - hence this post to re-evaluate my priorities in life, or at least to reaffirm them.

Looking at 3 key principles I wrote down:
- Make a difference
- Always try to explain the rationale behind your actions
- Always listen to concerns on the ground

I have decided to start a diary. =p

winter break was wonderful. 

i realize you actually read this. you get to hear my philosophical thoughts. aren't you glad.

In life, there are always two choices, always.

It's definitely been awhile since I've blogged. But I guess i can afford myself a break from all that needs to be done; my to-do-list is not short too! It seems thanksgiving is a break much looked forward to -- something I'd be definitely giving thanks for. To catch up on work, to get fit, to move forward in achieving my little goals that will improve life at Stanford, and, maybe, just a little recreation (we could all do with some).

I just planned the week out. Seems pretty packed -- reminiscent of my secondary school and junior college days. But definitely feels good to know that I'm using my time wisely. Hopefully its adequately paced though. I resolve to only go out once this week so that I can focus on getting ahead of work instead of merely keeping up.

Things seem to be falling into a comfortable cadence. I feel the push, but not the shove. Which is good in all respects. I just need to remain as motivated as I was in the first few weeks of school.

Here we go.

after the night of fun. i guess it's time to get back to work. here i come.