WHy do people beat their kids? How can you look at a baby and think it is ok to beat the hell out of them? How can that be an ok thing in your mind? Just as bad is the mom who pretends like her boyfriend is really Not beating the kids. How can you turn your head away as your child screams in agony begging for you to help? How can you live with yourself? I hope someone beats you.

I hate my job.

I realized that I am reluctant to post b/c I don't have pics to use. Then I remember that the purpose of this is blog is to document life.. Which can be done just as easily with words. So, The latest news is that we WILL in fact be moving to Delaware in August of 2009. We had a family home evening about it last Monday and told the kids. We told them that we have to have Faith and then we will be ok wherever we are. David was tremendously upset. He cried and begged to please stay in Salt Lake city. He wants to "graduate from Bonneville with Jesse" (who he doesnt' even play with.) And then right in the middle of David's lament, Danny decided to put in his two cents. "Mom, I can't go to Delaware!" "I will be soooo Hungry and Thirsty!" (as if we will not be eating in Delaware.) Daniel has a very narrow view of life. He is mostly concerned for his stomache. I swear that kid keeps me in stitches. I don't think the kids can comprehend what is happening with this move. Maybe we should have waited to tell them until it gets closer. But Tim is making frequent trips back (in January and February)so oh well, the cat is out of the bag.

We had a lot of friends and family come to Danny's party, I thought it would be fun to post some pics for those out of town. (basically Ben and Madelyn)

A few weeks ago Daniel had a birthday party. We had a special guest present to the crowd of children. Danny's vision included a "karate themed" party. Aunt Keri and K-ma helped with the decorations and headbands. The best surprise of all was the individual instruction provided by Mr. Miyagi himself. Check out the pictures. Unbelievable I know. Just think, this man is actually a well respected cardiologist. (amazing how grandparents turn to mush in their grandchildren's hands.)
Mr. Miyagi (the real one) has been very instrumental in teaching the kids different concepts. Tonight we had a family home evening on "FOCUS." We watched a snippet of Karate Kid 2 where Mr. Miyagi teaches Daniel to stop and regain focus after feeling upset. We decided to spin this concept and use it to teach the boys about ways to calm themselves when they are angry. Our biggest motivation for this lesson came after Dan stabbed David with a pencil in the back. He actually drew blood and left a puncture mark. Instead of rushing Danny to the emergency room and insisting some wise crisis counselor admit him to a psych unit where some wise psychologist could talk to him... We decided to teach him how to calm himself down. Breathe in Breathe out. Mommy needs to do that too...

My kids are fortunate to have grandparents that live on a real live farm. Grandpa Swenson even has chickens that go with his farm. Right now he is housing eight chickens and one rooster. I was trying to figure out how that works because if there is a rooster I thought that chickens wouldn't lay eggs that we eat.. but that they would lay eggs that have chicks. Maybe I need to have a birds and bees talk with myself about chicken reproduction. Anyway, to make a long story short, my kids were able to collect the eggs soon after the hens laid them!
How fun is that? I took home a dozen eggs tonight and tomorrow I will cook them up for breakfast! I am a little worried that a chick may hatch out into my frying pan. I just don't know how all that works....

I gathered up the hoodlums and ventured down to Benjamin. We almost didn't make it because of Karma. Just as I was merging onto the freeway in a plethora of traffic, the radio played a song that spoke directly to me. I have never actually heard this song and would post a link if I new what it was, but the gist of it was this..
In fact the exact words of it was this..
"Just turn this car around.."
"Just turn this car around.."
and I almost did.
We did make it down after all and ended up with a "good time had by all."
Our first stop was at Grandma Swenson's to get a look at the painting she is doing of my kids. My grandmother is a master artist (as is my mother) and she agreed to paint my two youngest children. My mom has already painted David in a different painting, so I will now have a picture of each of my children. I have posted a picture of the painting and the subjects.
After that..
My sister, grandma and mother went to THE Brick Oven for lunch and then had a fun time shopping.

I am amazed at how David is becoming a little businessman. Today he asked me if when the leaves start to fall he could open up his own leaf raking business. I told him sure! Yesterday, he went over to our neighbors house and offered to pick all of her dandelions for $10. She agreed! He spent about an hour and picked every one of them. The funny thing is that halfway through he stopped and said to me, "mom I think I am going to tell her I will do this section of the lawn for $10 and that section of the lawn for $5." He was trying to RAISE the price. Jeez.
A few days ago I took the boys to the dollar store and bought them each a toy. David came home and ended up selling A PIECE of his toy (not the whole toy) to the neighbor. The bad thing is that he sold it for $5! That is quite a return on his investment. We had to do a little intervention about taking advantage of other children.

My boys love to play the guessing game. The following is an exerpt from one of the games I overheard.
Daniel: "I'm thinking of something that has a crack in it."
Jacob: "Is it a bum?"
Daniel: "Um, no.. It's like a bum but it is on the front part and it's smaller."
Dad intervenes: "Daniel!"
Daniel: "Um never mind."

Speaking of inattentive parenting, I have decided that I must write a book about the methodology behind "Bed Parenting." This parenting style is important for parents who are either too lazy, too sleepy or too sick to get out of bed. There are numerous tips I have learned while lying in my bed about how to be a good parent. I had an epiphany the other day and realized that the sequel to my book will most notably be entitled "Chair Parenting." This is for when the parent feels well enough to make it to a chair. Or if you have one of those adjustable beds, then you could count the inclined postition of your bed as the "chair." There are several ways you can parent from either position. (just as long as you can stay awake.)

Well praise mankind, little "cubcone" Jacob is finally showing some interest in the potty. He is three and a half and up until this point has not wanted to use the potty. It is like he has been disconnected from his bodily functions. I bought him a "little" potty that he enjoys sitting on and reading books. However, when it comes to having anything come out of his body INTO the potty.. Well that just hasn't happened. He did manage to poop RIGHT NEXT to the potty on the floor. Don't ask me how. I mean the potty is 8 inches high!
Anyway, Jacob has finally learned to take his own diaper off. This is a big milestone for children. They must be able to dress and undress themselves to toilet train. A few nights ago, Tim and I sat in our dining room enjoying the view out the large front window. Before we knew it, there was a naked Jacob running up the street after the ice-cream truck driver (who by the way receives all his income from my purse.) Needless to say, Jacob had been reading on the potty when he heard the tinkling bells of the ice-cream truck and proceeded to run as fast as he could for that fudgesicle. Clothes or not. Tonight, our neighbor (who happened to be hosting a work party at their home) graciously returned Jacob's clothes and diaper which he had unbeknownst to me, shed on their lawn. (during the party.) Oh the joys of motherhood, and the joys of inattentive parenting.

Daniel is a very what shall I say "free spirited" child. He has had difficulty adjusting to life as a kindergartner (if that is a word.) I can pretty much predict how our morning will go...
Mom: "wake up Dan"
Dan: "my tummy hurts."
Mom: "what would you like for breakfast?"
Dan: "my tummy hurts"
Mom: What would you like to wear today?"
Dan: My tummy hurts.
Mom: "Let's go to school and talk to your teacher about it".
Dan: My tummy hurts.
I swear that kid has an answer to everything. It just so happens to be "my tummy hurts."
Now don't get me wrong. I have tried to rule out why or IF his tummy is really hurting, but I come to the conclusion time and again, When he wakes up in the morning he needs to #1 do a #2 and #2 eat some food. Then the tummy issue is resolved. But can I tell Dan that? Of course not, I'm just his mother.
David has begun anticipating Dan's "freak outs" (definition: Excessive prolonged screaming over something that is fictional or completely out of your control.) In response to this David has offered numerous opinions like "what if we just gave Daniel away?" or "could we buy some earplugs for the freak-out times?" That David, he is innovative.

You know when you enter into a public restroom at the exact same time as someone else? Well, you both sit down and take care of your business, enough said. The only problem is when you get a "chatty" restroom mate.
Rule #1 Don't make friends while you are using the potty.
Rule #2 Don't talk on your cell phone while using the potty.
Rule #3 If your neighbor is making a lot of noise (grunting and so forth) try not to laugh.

The kids started school this past week or so. My work schedule is changing so Jacob will be in "turtle" camp (daycare) for one day of the week. When he learns to go on the potty, he will "graduate" to Tiger class. Woo Hoo. Hopefully, his teachers will do all the training while he is at his camp. Daniel is in Kindergarten and David is in 3rd grade. The adjustment from lazy summer mornings has been bumpy but I think we are doing ok. Dan was really excited the FIRST day and then the second he declared, "I'm not going to kindergarten anymore." He wouldn't even look at the camera and smile. David is more diplomatic about not wanting to go to school.
He first asked some probing questions, like "mom, what happens if you don't go to school?"
mom replied "mom goes to jail."
David: "Who would take care of me?"
Mom: "the gypsies"
David: MOM! Seriously, I would like to drop out of 3rd grade, could I visit you in jail?"
Mom: Why?
David: "it's too hard."
Oh boy are we in for it!

I have decided to open up a private blog. The purpose is to begin a record of my crazy life (Cuckoo nest) for my family and kids.