MEANINGLESS RAMBLINGS....

i used to be able to kill time reading blogs. but as time goes by, i find more and more blogs not getting updated or closed. i blame facebook... you destroyed blogging and i will never forgive u for that. and may i add twitter as an accomplice.... 3/4 of my linked blogs are no longer active.... about time i did some housekeeping to weed out these.

i no longer blog about my happening weekends because it's really not something i find fun anymore. and this space, to me, has evolved into somewhere for me to talk abt stuff/opinions, not talk about what i did. diary-esque blogs are so last season....... wait. BLOGS in general are so last season. i've been blogging less and less and who knows, one day i might just be too darn lazy to keep this up.

yeah i know right.

See, i have always been an advocate of learning a third language. ive benefited so much from learning french.... and to understand a whole new different language is just. AMAZING.

i chanced upon this series of videos on another website and i love how stylised it is. i've spent numerous days in each city and i LOVE LOVE LOVE  <3 all of them. hopefully they do new ones .

so.... learn a new language today. it'll bring everyone closer.

yeah but it's been almost a year... so it's hardly the beginning anymore and i am giving up soon.

1. be dancing for a living on broadway.... maybe until 30.
2. be angmoh.
3. live somewhere with 4 seasons.
4. have a dog.
5. have 2 kids by now. twins. boys.
6. open up a shop selling cupcakes or desserts in a secluded corner on earth, with views of the deep blue ocean, crashing waves and stunning sunsets.
7. have no cell phone. nor internet.... so the only means people can get to me, is to write..... the really important stuff they want me to know.
8. have a really strong liver.
9. be super butch and ride a bike. wearing a leather jacket and raybans.... one of those fantasies.
10. be a happy person. like genuinely happy, non conniving, non judgemental, non skeptical....

yeah. IF i had it my way.

Sometimes i wonder how or what made me angsty. even my mum gave up trying to understand me. she said i used to be smiley and cute when i was younger. but my de facto face is now black, as if the whole world owes me something. i'm cynical, bitter and angry all the time. what gives?

as far as im concerned. i've been nothing but nice, considerate and straightforward with whoever im dealing with. if there's no reason to smile, i dun see a point to. its not that im in a bad mood. but i dun wanna waste my energy lifting up my cheeks for no apparent reason. i talk only when im being spoken to. i dun initiate conversations unless im bored or i need some info outta you.

i make my point clear. if i dun like something and i refuse to go somewhere to meet for dinner/movies/etc, i state it up front. i hate it when people always ANYTHING me. dun give me anything. i hate it. have some opinions of ur own pls. dun want say dun want. want say want. dun anything anything anything. to me, that's even more troublesome. cos nothing gets decided. dun force me to accept things i dun like or want to do. i may succumb to peer pressure, but that doesnt mean i am accepting it happily.

if u promise me something. MAKE SURE U KEEP IT. i'd make sure i do the same and return the favour, and appreciate it if some form of gratitude is shown at the end. im human. i need to feel like my efforts have not gone unnoticed. if u promise something and dun fulfil, trust me when i say i will forever remember it and use it to my advantage in future. yes. i hold grudges. surprise surprise.

There's only so much i can or am willing to do to redeem myself for my wrongdoings before i look completely ridiculous or desperate. dun assume that i would be doing this forever. im not that hardup for a friendship. Thereafter, dun expect me to budge, give in or give u the upperhand. i am SO DONE with the lack of acknowledgement on ur part. like i said, want say want. dun want say dun want. dun waste my time and energy.

thanks.

Issit really that important to GET MARRIED? i mean, seriously. why does everyone i meet ask me if

"you have a girlfriend?"
"when are you getting married?"
"you quite good looking what, why not attached? are u gay?"

yeah ok maybe the last one was made up but im sure thats what they wanted to ask...... wah lao i swear. stop asking me these kinda stupid questions. i could ask u the same things

"why did u get married? were u desperate?"
"was it programmed in u?"
"why did u choose to get married, have kids.... and get stuck in a marriage they u are completely unhappy about. and BEING FAT while at it? at least i am skinny and beautful. SHUDDAP AND DIE PLS"

yeah im sure people get married whilst in love, but none of those things last pls. they end up being bitter and they quarrel... wow what a good life. i shud be looking forward to old age quarrelling with someone cos that's SOOOO fun. and u know what's they reason for getting married? "Who's gonna look after u when u are old?" oh wow ok. so now u get married, have kids so that someone will be there to look after u when u are senile and eating ur own faeces? erm ok. what a warped reason. i dun need nobody to look after me. i will just commit suicide if i get too sick. simple.

life's a bitch and then u die. doesnt matter if u are with someone, or not. i rather spend money on MYSELF than to spend it on someone else, thank u very much.

IM FINE BEING SINGLE. PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.

and ps: i dun like clams. never did, never will. pls get your facts right.