I Love To See the TempleI Love To See the Temple
I'm going there someday
To feel the Holy Spirit,
To listen and to pray.
For the temple is a house of God,
A place of love and beauty.
I'll prepare myself while I am young;
This is my sacred duty.
I love to see the temple.
I'll go inside someday.
I'll cov'nant with my Father;
I'll promise to obey.
For the temple is a holy place
Where we are sealed together.
As a child of God, I've learned this truth:
A fam'ly is forever.
As a small child, I sang this song in primary. I believed the truths it proclaimed, and I knew that I wanted to someday go to the temple to be sealed with my own family. Fast-forward, to me falling in love with someone who didn't grow up in the same church that I did. I made some choices, that didn't necessarily lend themselves to receiving those blessings of the temple. There were times when I thought those blessings would never come.
Garry and I were married in 2005, on a beautiful mountainside. I can remember sitting in the room, getting ready to go out, and thinking......
"I don't think I should go through with this. But....my whole family had done so much to support me, and had come so far to attend, and all these other people are here, and if you weren't gonna go through with it, you should have spoke up long ago.....etc, etc, etc. Just go, leave the room, and do what you came to do."
Then I went, and smiled and it was a beautiful day, but because as I said, some of my choices hadn't been the best, I thought I may have given up the thing that had once been the most important to me. But I had decided with this little bundle of joy, that I needed to make every effort to have the same things that were important to me as a child, important in his life as well. I didn't want to decide at 8 years old that I wanted him to be baptized. It needed to be a part of our life, and who we were.
I remember after we were married, and living in Bonners Ferry, a woman in our ward had talked to Garry, and said, "it's really nice that you come to church every week with your wife." His response to her was, "well I want my son to know that we're united on that, and if it is important to her, then it is important to me." She had told me about it sometime later, and I was so elated to hear him say that. I knew that when he signed on, he didn't necessarily sign on to the church, but to know that he recognized the importance of the gospel in my life, helped me to know that I had still made a good choice.
In the next few years, we moved to Spokane. I wanted another baby, and it didn't seem to work for us in the time frame that I thought it should. We went through some struggles, where I wondered again if I had made the right decision. But I remained hopeful of my end goal. A year after we moved to Spokane, I started working teaching choir. We also found out we were expecting baby Natalie. I had the realization that I was the mother, and no one was going to take care of me, it was now my job to take care of my family. For some reason, this had been a difficult concept for me to grasp.
In the spring before I had Natalie, I decided to go to the Temple to receive my endowment. To find out more about the temple and what we believe click here. This was a remarkable experience, and brought so much joy, the only thing that made me sad is that I didn't get to experience it with Garry. Natalie was born the end of June 2009, about 10 days before we signed papers to buy our first home. It was a glorious time for our family. I had never felt happier! My heart was so full, I had all summer to spend with my new baby without taking any time off of work. There were some great days, and I just remember feeling so happy that summer.
Life continued on. We were visited through the years by many sets of missionaries, some very persistent, some very helpful, and some who we enjoyed feeding dinner to. But it just never seemed to progress for Garry. He was very content with life, and didn't feel like he needed to make a change. I would get frustrated from time to time but in the long run, knew that I needed to maintain my own testimony for myself, and my kiddos. Again, I knew how important the gospel had been for me growing up, and I wanted that for my own children as well.
In the next few years, we added 2 more babies. Amelia in February 2013, and Maisee in October 2014. I felt my testimony of eternal families strengthen, and I had a more intense desire than ever before to have my family sealed together in the temple. As I watched my brother bless my babies in church, I was overwhelmed with the feeling that it should be Garry blessing his babies. Another year went by. We dealt with a few more struggles, and then Natalie turned 6. We were visiting my mom in the summer, and she had gone to primary in my sisters ward. They had a lesson about baptism, and talked about who was going to baptize them when they turned 8. She proclaimed to us that she would like Uncle Tyson to baptize her, and both my sister and I asked why she picked Tyson, to which she replied, "Well I really want my dad to do it, but he isn't baptized, so he can't." This truly shattered my heart! I wanted her dad to be able to do it as well, but it still didn't appear to be a remote possibility.
We continued through that year, and occasionally Natalie would remind her dad that she really wanted him to baptize her, and he would say, yeah I know Nat.... We decided to put our house up for sale, and look for something a little bigger for our family. As we were searching we came across a few in the ward we lived in, we found some beautiful homes, but nothing seemed to pan out. They just didn't feel right. We had sold our house, and although we had put an offer in on several homes through the summer, did not find anything, until we did.... We found a house that was a little out of our price range, but perfect in every other sense. As I look back on that summer, and the options we had for homes, I can see the path that Heavenly Father had laid out for us. We ended up where we were meant to be.
The ward we moved into had such a strong missionary presence with both ward missionaries, and full-time elders. We met and got to know a very persistent ward-mission leader, who had so much faith in our family, and in Garry. He really helped Garry answer the questions he had been pondering for so many years. It was still several months, but when posed the question, will you accept the invitation to be baptized my heart was elated to hear him answer, yes! What a powerful example that was to not only me, but our children, extended family, and ward members. He in turn was then able to ordain Carson a Deacon just a couple of weeks later!
Satan is so tricky! This was the very thing I had been praying for......for over a decade. And then Garry was baptized, and I felt so weird about life, I was grumpy........ what do you pray for when the only "real" prayer you've been asking and pleading for has finally come about? I was in a funk, I talked to some friends. I decided I needed to take care of me. I had come to a point where I had very much over-committed at work, and I needed to make some decisions about what was truly the most important things. Garry had made a huge sacrifice and commitment for not just himself but for our family, and I needed to put things in order as well. I was doing some extra things at work that weren't completely necessary, and decided it wasn't worth the little bit of extra money to feel like I was running ragged constantly. So I stopped. I talked to my Dr. at my yearly physical, and not just during this time, but felt like I had been dealing with a good deal of anxiety through the last several years, and I didn't want to feel like that anymore. She gave me a prescription, and after a lot of thought, I decided that I should pursue that avenue for a while. It has been such a blessing, and made a huge difference in how I view the world. I feel like I have a better grasp on the things I can control, and an easier time letting go of the things I cannot.
In September, our little princess got her wish, and her daddy was able to baptize and confirm her.
As we went back to school in the fall, I felt an overwhelming confidence in our family. The question was not if our family would go to the temple to be sealed, but when. We began preparing, and reading to really feel like we were prepared. As I read, this was one of the things that most stuck out to me.
Many individuals look at their current family circumstances and
wonder how they will be able to receive the blessing of an eternal
family. God, your Heavenly Father, is aware of your concerns,
and He knows and loves your family. All families face challenges
and none are perfect, but the gospel of Jesus Christ can heal and
help each of us. As families faithfully strive to live the gospel,
they can resolve misunderstandings, contentions, and challenges.
All of the imperfections and injustices of this life can be
overcome through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
God has promised that the blessings of marriage, family, and
eternal life will be made available to all of His children who
faithfully accept and follow His plan of happiness. Your
responsibility is to have faith in this promise and follow
the example of Jesus Christ.
The blessings of marriage, family, and eternal life will be
made available to all of God's faithful children,
regardless of their current family circumstances.
As you continue to keep your covenants and help others do the
same, you will feel the peace and power of God in your life.
Your family will be blessed by your example, and the Holy Ghost
can soften hearts and help you know how to build better
relationships with your family members. Have faith that God is
preparing each of your family members, just as
He has prepared you.
What amazing promises! I read this and thought, I have been prepared for so many years. Heavenly Father has been mindful of me throughout my life, and I know that he has blessed me, and guided me in my decisions, and I am so grateful for his continual presence and comfort, for me and my children.
I am so grateful for the Atonement, and the ability it allows us to repent, and make better choices for our future. I am grateful for sorrow, for through that sorrow, I felt like I have a deeper understanding of the exuberant joy, and blessings of exaltation. I am over the moon excited that I was able to be sealed to my husband, and my beautiful healthy children. Life feels peaceful........ and good..... and right!
The day we were sealed, was not the most "perfect" day. My kids were naughty, Garry was grumpy. We went early to the temple to try and get some pictures, and it was freezing, and snowing, and everyone was SUPER happy about being outside freezing to death. But my amazing friend, braved it with us. Konni has always had the unique ability to laugh, and get others to laugh at less than desirable situations. She just laughed, and reminded us that it will help us to remember this day. And it is true.
Although, as the culmination to years of preparation, it was the perfect day! It was a day that my 8 year old recognized how much Heavenly Father loved her, because her family was able to be sealed, and how my 3 year old will always remember that Mommy and Daddy were so silly. How my 13 year old son, took on the mantle of responsibility, as he peered into my soul, knowing that we were now connected through time and eternity. Instead of those fleeting thoughts that I was not good enough, and wanting to run away, I ran as fast as I could toward it. I looked at Garry, and knew we had made it, we were united, and it was so beautiful!
I do not know what is in store for our future, but I know that I am happy, and I have my husband and my kids forever.
Everyday, I will strive to be a little bit better.
