Monday, May 30, 2005
I know ive posted this numerous times over the course of the long history of this blog, but it amazes me just what wonderful and loyal friends i have and how lucky i am to have them.
Friends who'll listen to me talk about me and Her for hours on end, and offer a listening ear even though they dont have to.
Friends who'll respond to a desperate 8am SMS and agree to meet me in town the very same day.
Friends who'll stand up for me when people spread rumours abt me on tagboards.
Today's blurt out sharing session w ben was real good for me.. made me feel much better after yesterday's sleepless night. Hope stuff works out for you too ben..
As was afternoon's meet up session with wonderful good ol Nolan and Hui..
(as always.. HELLOOO HUI!!) thanks a bunch! There's something about the infectious feelgood personality about you two that just lifts my spirits way up high.. so cheers to ya!
And of course.. thank You for meeting up with me and watching magadascar tonight.. it was a good date, no pressures, no expectations, or whatever. (and the leader lemur guy and the penguins are a scream!) We left all the drama behind us, and just did a pure simple lovely March the 11th again. If this is the way you want us to go for now, i'm perfectly fine with it.. as long as it makes you happy. Hope that this'll give you the space for you to make the right decision.
"I like to move it move it.." Ahahah!
he rocked the party at 9:57 AM |
Sunday, May 29, 2005
To you: you've hurt me really badly, and i dont know how i can go on. i feel empty, confused and afraid.
please. i beg you. dont let this go.
he rocked the party at 4:03 PM |
Saturday, May 28, 2005
I pierced my ear today!
Together with Ben Ang, my buddy bro who stood by me during this difficult time.
Thanks bro!
A spur of the moment thing.. and i think it looks pretty neat!
Au contraire to what She says, that an ear stud would contrast to my "good boy" look. I think it looks goooood. -admires myself in the mirror-
Hope no one in camp notices it though. Will have to put a plaster over it this week.
he rocked the party at 8:27 AM |
You always know how to make things better.
After a long honest talk, i understand things better, understand how you're feeling, understand why you're acting the way you do.
Thank you so much for that.. words cannot express how relieved i am that it wasn't what i originally thought.
Although, yes, there is that one worry which you'd mentioned.
But i know that you still love me. And that's all that matters.
Hope that the next few days will give you a chance to sort things out and think things through.
Am really worried for you, seeing you sad makes my heart ache.
If you ever need anyone to turn to, i'm always here, always waiting for you.
I love you, and i always will.
he rocked the party at 8:01 AM |
Friday, May 27, 2005
You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm findin' it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm goin' through
I just can't smile without you
You came along just like a song
And brightened my day
Who'da believed that you were part of a dream?
Now it all seems light years away
And now you know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm findin' it hard to do anything
....I'm missing you.
he rocked the party at 8:10 PM |
First came the uneasiness and the fear
That i'd thought i'd left so far behind
Through distant msgs and uncomfortable silences
I hated the feelings... but i didnt dare ask, for fear of something worse to come.
Then came the revelation, a misty and blurred one no doubt, but a revelation nonetheless.
Then the heartache and the pain hit
The realization that... we weren't on the same wavelength.
Something had to be done, had to be sacrificed.
It hurt me deeply, to give up just a mere 7 days, but 7 days can seem like a lifetime.
Or perhaps it was the thought that you werent feeling the same hurt, or that u wouldnt really know what kind of suffering i'd have to go through..
that hurt even more.
I didnt understand then, and i still dont.
How it could come so suddenly, and how feelings could change in the blink of an eye.
You say it isnt me, but is it really?
The sleepless night was spent on short dreams of you, and the day was spent in stony silence, against the background of friends' laughter.
I wouldnt have survived 7 days.
Thankfully, i didnt have to.
The gift of cookies today brought new promises, and interesting perspectives.
Its true, perhaps i'd given too much of my life to you, (the recent blog entries are telling) and that we'd moved way too fast.
You need your space, and i need mine.
Is it really possible to turn back time?
Can we really go back to those (short-lived) days of innocence, before the whirlwind started?
Can i really date you again, and win your heart over all over again?
The answer my dear, is YES.. if that makes you happy.
Just promise me that you wont break my heart.. and i'll do whatever it takes, and take as long as we want it to.. no pressures, no overwhelming love.
As long as it makes you happy.
(i declare.. that one day they're gonna turn this story into a movie, probably a romantic comedy starring ashton kutcher or something. And no, ashton kutcher is NOT a compliment)
he rocked the party at 5:32 AM |
Monday, May 23, 2005
How your eyes twinkle when you smile
How your dimples form at a silly grin
How your lower lip extends all the way out when you pout
How you bouce about when you're excited
How you make silly squeals and weird exclamations
How your brow furrows when you think
How your eyes squint when you laugh
How your head falls straight to my shoulder
How you bury your nose in my neck
How you use my arm as a bolster
How you wrap your arms around me when you're behind me
How your hand caresses my cheek and
How you stare back at me in exactly the same way, making me want to give up everything just to be with you forever.
he rocked the party at 9:09 AM |
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Such a pretty lady.. (the one on the right la, smart aleck.) The one on the left shows a shagged lionel w big eyebags from yesterday's officer mess induction. I'm all hers.. eyebags and all. -grin-
he rocked the party at 11:28 AM |
Quote of the Day: "I'm gonna marry you, even if you watch star wars while we were kissing!"
Ok fine.. I mean, c'mon la, its Episode III: Revenge of the Sith! And its 20 bucks! Surely that warrants an excuse..?
And yes, she keeps giggling every time Darth Vader is mentioned.. esp at that immortal line: "Rise, Lord Vader.."
Go figure it out yourself.
he rocked the party at 11:01 AM |
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
the Bad: Let me put it straight - Unarmed Combat's a real BITCH. I'm sorry, but i just HAVE to rant about it. What's the deal with making us learn something we've already done in OCS? And i'm a frickin' AI for cryin out loud. The standards which i was required to meet for grading in OCS was def 10x the crap we're being forced to do for UC. And it's shitty enough that its repeditive (syllabus covered in 3 days, will spend the next 2 weeks revising on what was covered) but its damn tiring too (1001 breakfalls before and after lunch, bruised arms, sweat-drenched back, grass and debris sticking to us..) I mean, i dont mind being tekan-ed for something which we've yet to learn, like when we were going through airborne course, but it sucks when we have to suffer for something we're already proficient at. ARAGH.
the Good: S1 (manpower) just announced on monday - I'm going to be 1st Commando Battalion's new DY S2! (for the uninformed: DY stands for Deputy, and S2 refers to the Officer in charge of intelligence, one of the 4 Principal Staff Officers in the Battalion) Hooray!
he rocked the party at 8:53 AM |
I found this on Eugene's blog, much to my delight. Don't you think this song very aptly describes relationships at our age? Esp those where the guy's in army and cant do anything with his life for 2 years.. like yours truly.
--------------------------------------
Wouldn't It Be Nice by The Beach Boys
Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong
You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together
Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through
Happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was neverending
Wouldn't it be nice
Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
We could be married
And then we'd be happy
Wouldn't it be nice
You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Wouldn't it be nice
Good night my baby
Sleep tight my baby
-----------------------------------------------
It's gonna be a long wait for us to get older..
but princess, YOU are going to be worth the wait.
Princess is finally returning from Taiwan tomorrow!
-jumps across the ceiling-
he rocked the party at 8:45 AM |
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Orgasm-inducing WARM CHOCOLATE CAKE from Bakerzin. No kidding. Every biteful's an orgasm. Go try it! Just try not to moan too loud.
he rocked the party at 10:09 AM |
princess being her usual hiao self and taking her own picture, and me butting into it.
he rocked the party at 10:07 AM |
one of those couple shots that everyone takes.. dont we have any imagination? nope.
he rocked the party at 10:04 AM |
mirror shot
he rocked the party at 10:02 AM |
Allow me to post one of those boring blog entries where i just tell you what i did, instead of what i feel about things. But i dont care.
Friday: was spent in an office in chinatown, working overtime, (or in my case, bumming overtime) for the princess' sister's company. Sitting opposite her, shredding papers and CDs, sticking labels on envelopes and ID cards, listening to her chirpy voice telemarketing.. and i get actually get paid for this? Heck, i'd have done it for free. Poor baby was all tired, grumpy and stressed tho.. but she cheered up after our lovely dinner w her sis and sis' boyfriend at breko. And i declare that the patty burg is the yummiest burger i've ever tasted. Too bad i walloped it before i could take a picture of it..
Saturday: was spent accomplishing the daunting task of tidying and clearing up my biohazardous room.. something i havent done in, what, 5 years? Princess and i got rid of approx 4 trash bags full of stuff, and she even took the liberty of organizing my drawer and wiping off all the dust. Room's a much more conducive place to live in now.. -sighs in contentment- what would i ever do without you baby? Now that alone, is reason enough to marry you. -grin- Caught kingdom of heaven in the evening, followed by a yummy supper of orgasm-inducing WARM CHOCOLATE CAKE at Bakerzin after that. (see above post for more info) Had fun reading out tantalizing descriptions from the menu. (which other restaurant describes its desserts as "warm" "soft" and "moist"?) -grin-
Sunday: Recharged and Reinspired after going for Pat's dance class at Jitterbugs, am determined to get back to the standard i was at back in JC. Cant lose to princess now, can i? Spent the rest of the day w her royal family and her at bugis shopping for dunnodunno what, and trying to appease her grumpiness (which is really cute i might add)
the rest of the week: She's off to Taiwan for the next 4 days. Which is depressing. No one to sms during lunchtime, no one to talk to before i sleep, no one to visit if i get a night's off! (which is probably like, every night la. Sheesh.) But do have fun on your trip dear, you deserve it. :)
And help: I'm Duty Officer on Thursday. Please oh please dont let me get any extras for my first DO duty. Wish me luck..
he rocked the party at 9:39 AM |
my brand spanking new 7270!
he rocked the party at 9:33 AM |
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Your SAT Score of 1440 Means: |
You Scored Higher Than Howard Stern You Scored Higher Than George W. Bush You Scored Higher Than Al Gore You Scored Higher Than David Duchovny You Scored Higher Than Natalie Portman You Scored Lower Than Bill Gates |
Your IQ is most likely in the 140-150 range |
Equivalent ACT score: 32 |
Schools that Fit Your SAT Score: Amherst College Dartmouth College Williams College University of Pennsylvania Columbia University |
See?? University of Pennsylvania!! Right there!! So whyy oh whyy oh whyyy wont they accept me? Grr. I dont care, im gonna apply again this year. My application last year couldnt have been THAT bad now could it?
It sucks to tell people that you're a scholar, then when they ask where you're gonna study, and you dont have an answer for them.
I should just heck it all and stay in singapore and study in NTU la. Then i can spend more time with my princess, join Patick's Modern Jazz and be a happy Average Joe. Bah.
Another Bah thing: its irritating to come back to Hendon Camp right after COCC. Its even more irritating to tune your mindset back to "im gonna start work today as a full-fledged commando officer." And its it gets REALLY irritating when S1, the manpower officer, tells you to take 4 days off starting tomorrow to "clear leave", and happily proclaims that you should go take a holiday and relax cause this is the last chance for you to do so. Woah, thanks ALOT for giving us 1 day's notice! Im sure i'll be able to hop on a plane tomorrow and jet off somewhere to relax yeah.
I'm now left with Friday to Monday of having absolutely nothing to do. Hmm. I cant even get my life and room back in order cause i wasnt planning to do so for awhile, so naturally i'll find other distractions to stop me from doing so. Haha.
Shall be going to work for my princess' sister's company tomorrow. Slotting envelopes, cutting stickers and checking spreadsheets? Sounds fun! This is the first time in my entire life that im gonna do an honest day's work. I hope i dont burn the office down before tomorrow ends.
Hoo-ah!
Oh and allow me to gloat.. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to annouce that its official: 1st Commando Battalion has yet again won the Army's Best Combat Unit competition this year for a record 19th time! Right there smack in the face of the Guards and Infantry and whoever the heck that gave us hell back in OCS. Think that we're just all about brawn w/o any brains? In the words of Britney Spears, "Oops, we did it again.." haha! No offence to anyone..
he rocked the party at 10:27 AM |
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Dont you hate the feeling: when you excitedly make plans with your buddies 2 weeks before to go for that highly anticipated clubbing trip.. to de-stress from the shitty army life you're having?
And when the day finally does come, you just. dont. feel. like. going!
Especially when you wanna spend more time with your princess.
I really dont understand why im going for tonight's Mambo Night when we all have to report to camp at 7am tomorrow. Peer pressure is a dangerous thing, and im such a sucker for it.
he rocked the party at 1:44 AM |
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Her style of blogging, my thoughts:
this weekend i've come to realise
through my writing of my 100 reasons
and through cosy watching of love actually
and through sneaky loving gazes at each other
and through playful arguments in the middle of suntec city
that i dont ever want this to end.
i dont ever want to leave her.
even the lure of prestigious SIA scholarships
and sunny california, or the hallowed halls of upenn
with prospects of studying by the fireplace
and watching nba live
have no effect on me.
im willing to give all of that up
just to stay with her here for that extra 4 years
because in this relationship, time is so precious
5 days apart is torture enough, how will i survive 4 years?
if i do nothing now, i will end up in the same school as her
it'll be paradise
but i know that she wont let me
and im not sure that i'll let myself either
there are dreams to chase, money to earn
and i know that if i go for those few years,
i'll return with a guaranteed means to take care of her
and give her the life that she truly deserves
but our relationship will then have to stand the ultimate test
4 years isnt a short time
but as i always believe..
love makes everything possible..
he rocked the party at 9:01 AM |
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Its funny how i try to tell civilians that i walked a 72km route march last week, and they're totally unfazed. While on that endless march from Wednesday to Thursday, many of my fellow commando officers called their loved ones to attempt to describe to them what an amazing feat we were trying to accomplish, but to no avail. To them, 72k is just like any other military training, the kinda stuff that makes army boys sweaty and stinkie, but at the end of the day, they go to sleep and forget about it.
Hah. They couldn't be more wrong.
To put things into perspective, a 72km endurance march takes approximately 22 to 24 hours to complete. You mindlessly plod along, not just in plain army uniform, but in Full Battle Order (FBO), which consists of a full alice pack of approx 10+ kg, webbing (a sort of vest you wear around your body which can hold 2 1-litre water bottles and 8 magazines), as well as your personal rifle. This is to ensure that if the distance doesnt kill you, your shoulders, neck and back will.
Another perspective: most army personnel have undertaken some form of route march, such as the 24km graduation march at the end of BMT. Everyone knows what a torture it is. Those who move on to SISPEC or OCS undertake a slightly more gruelling 30km or 36km march or navex exercise. Ask any army guy who's been on one, and he'll tell you how the hour takes forever to pass by, yet how swiftly the 15 mins break dissolves into thin air. (As for all route marches, the speed of walking is roughly 4km/h, with a mandatory 15 mins rest after every hour) Now imagine doing that whole 1 hour walk, 15 mins break routine continously for 18 times, with only 2 other 45 mins breaks in between for breakfast and lunch, with no sleep, no other forms of rest.
72km was 3 times the distance, 10 times the torture. It was also, according to my Commando Officer Conversion Course commander, a "rite of passage" to achieving our red berets. Since we'd already received our berets, it was only right that we undertake this gruelling feat which our men had already accomplished while we were in OCS. So there we were, on a crisp wednesday evening, marching from our start point at Hendon Camp. Our route: 4km from Hendon to SAF Ferry Terminal, 8km down coastal road (alongside Changi airport's runways), 4km to east coast park, 40km up and down east coast's 8km stretch, 4km back to coastal road, 8km back up coastal road to SAF Ferry Terminal, and finally 4km back to Hendon again.
The first 40k proved to be pretty easy, except for the shouts of "ORD LOH!" from irritating youths lounging at BBQ pits and chalets, making me wish i had live rounds in my rifle so i could shoot them dead. (i mean seriously, if you ever, ever, see any troops marching past you, have a heart. They're suffering! Dont make it worse for them!) Other than that, interesting sharing sessions about girlfriends, my trusty mp3 player, H-Two-O at every 12 km, and yummy nightsnacks kept everyone's morale high and feet walking. And of course, i could never forget my special lady's worried calls and sweet encouragements at every rest point. Thank you dear..
However, from the 48km mark onwards, fatigue caused by lack of sleep, aching shoulders, blisters and abrasions began to set in upon all of us. We must have been a comical sight, plodding along with our eyes closed, to open our eyes again to discover that we'd strayed waaay of the path. Happened to me a couple of times, esp around 4 in the morning. We collapsed onto our alice packs at every rest point, slipping into immediate deep slumber, only to be rudely awakened 15 mins later to walk for yet another hour.
Shirt drenched in sweat, with the rising sun making it worse, we took it one painful step at a time, with each step being pure torture every time we applied pressure onto our blistered feet. Abrasions forced many of us to either walk like penguins, or hobble along slower than the elderly people staring at us in utter bewilderment. Heck, it was sure demoralising to see elderly people, fresh from their taichi sessions, to run faster than you. Grr.
But what the heck la, at the end of the day, after a grand timing of 23 hours plus, 30th COCC hobbled back into the School of Commandos parade square, tired, sweaty, smelly, but definitely triumphant. Hooray!
he rocked the party at 10:34 AM |
Sunday, May 01, 2005
with you
he rocked the party at 10:15 AM |
my, ahem, work
he rocked the party at 10:13 AM |
her work
he rocked the party at 10:13 AM |
a heart-shaped potcake! well, sort of heart-shaped la..
he rocked the party at 10:12 AM |
the perfect breakfast
he rocked the party at 10:12 AM |
Ladies and gentlemen, i'd like to introduce to you, the lovely invention of.. the potcake. Cooked in a pot instead of a pan, hence the name. Extremely yummy and fluffy, and lovely when eaten with fresh strawberries and maple syrup, and in the company of the wonderful lady who made them for you.
Yes ladies and gentlemen, i'm the luckiest man in the world.. She went grocery shopping with me on saturday night (in her words, a "family-ish" activity.. aww) and come 9am on sunday morning, was in my kitchen looking all flustered that her first potcake was all burnt and blabbered. (But i tried a piece and i didnt die or anything, so couldnt have been that bad..) Subsequent ones were much much better tho, and it culminated in the loveliest breakfast i've ever had!
One high stack of fluffy potcakes, 1 carton of orange juice, 1 bowl of strawberries (which i proudly cut ok..), 1 bottle of yummy maple syrup, and a box of Frosties and milk which we were too full to touch, complete with a Celine Dion CD in the background and a sunday morning breeze, one just cant help but fall in love with her all over again.
So thank you, thank you, thank you. -big happy grin-
And to You: i know you have your doubts and worries.. i shall convince you through my actions, and hopefully through time those doubts will clear away.. do trust in me and believe, ok?
he rocked the party at 9:54 AM |
