Saturday, October 29, 2011

Band of warriors

I am bone tired this week; weary more in spirit than in body, although I can physically feel the weight of it.  I used up my time and energy in collecting, organizing, pricing, hauling, and manning an enormous yard sale, basically on my own.  Having a two year old in need of constant vigilance kind of necessitates that.  And it was worth it.  I'm so thankful that even with as little traffic as we had, we still cracked the $1,000 mark after a couple of craigslist sales in the same weekend.  Not too shabby for a yard sale.  But my heart sank into my shoes when I realized I'd have to do that about 30 more times to come up with all the funding we need for this adoption.  And I can't.  I just cannot do this alone.

Community is not something that everyone naturally seeks out (ask my husband), but I live and breathe in it.  I don't mean that I merely relish having a room full of people around me, although I do enjoy that at times.  I mean I feel starved without intimate relationships of a select few fellow pilgrims.  Never have I yet found any earthly thing like the bond I have with my sister.  The Lord is my defender, my rear guard, the lifter of my head; and my sister is the tangible form that mirrors those attributes, the tangible hand that grasps mine and hauls me up when I'm too tired and discouraged to even ask anyone for help.  After a rather tumultuous journey, I am thankful to see that kind of depth rooting firmly in my marriage as well, although in a different way.  In fact, I am blessed beyond measure to have that kind of comfortable, unconditional, relentless love in my entire immediate family.  That is the kind of love I hope to share with the child the Lord has for us someday.

The only thing is, my family, other than S, is here in spirit, but elsewhere in body, and we need a band of brothers (and sisters) right here at home too.  I have been praying that the Lord would gather a tight circle of "family" around us here as we begin this journey.  It always makes me smile to see or hear others who are happy and excited for us when they hear our story, but we will desperately need intimate community even more.  We need a select few who are willing to lock arms with us, grasp our hands, lift us up, and go the distance with us.  We need a band of warriors who will be in the trenches with us through prayers, brainstorming ideas, through the waiting, and all the post-airport days when we are learning how to love and care for a broken, wounded child.  Those are the relationships I am begging the Lord to provide right now.  

I think it is easy to get by, maybe without even realizing it, void of true intimacy in the day to day.  We don't want to bug anyone with our struggles; we can handle it.  We don't make the time or have the energy to reach out and forge that bond that can only be built through time and shared experience.  We can't get out of our own world long enough to notice or care about what might be going on with someone else.  We're slowly starving ourselves and we don't even know it.  Guilty as charged.  But let me tell you, when you stand on the brink of something enormous, you suddenly realize with complete clarity that you don't want to plunge into the mist without someone's hand to hold.  It's not enough to know that there are well intentioned people all around you.  You want the person next to you who won't complain when you leave claw marks in their skin because you're holding on so tightly.  You need the person by your side who straps you to their back and hauls you along when you can't walk anymore on your own.  I don't know who that someone is yet.  Maybe it's someone we've known for years.  Maybe it's someone we haven't yet met.  Maybe it's you.  Whoever it is, I am grateful, and I am praying for you.        
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Friday, October 28, 2011

Bueller?

For those who haven't heard (or haven't acted yet), we still need several T-shirt orders before we can order our first batch of 25.  To be exact, we need 16 more orders for the women's print (either print can be adult's or kid's size shirts), and 23 orders for the men's print.  In case you're wondering, my husband and father are the only two guys who have ordered shirts.  So perhaps I should be asking for feedback.  Guys: are the shirts not manly enough?  Would you prefer a simpler design?  Would anyone like to see prices for hats, scarves, bags, hoodies, etc. instead of just T-shirts?  We just have to order 25 items per print design.  It doesn't matter what they print them on.  Let me hear your thoughts!

For one week only, I'm going to drop the donation amount for a T-shirt to anything over $15.  I worked for days on the html  to get those daggum paypal buttons working properly, so I'm kind of afraid to touch them. =) So let's do it this way: on the Home page of our blog, simply click the paypal Donate button on the right hand side.  Enter your chosen donation amount of at least $15 per shirt, and in the comments section of the paypal transaction, tell me which size(s) and color(s) you want.  You can also pay by check or cash if you're local.  We'll be doing this until midnight on Saturday, November 5th.  

I know money is tight, friends.  Believe me, I know.  I don't want you to click the Donate button out of guilt.  I just want us, myself included, to really stop and think about what we've impulsively dropped $15-25 on this past month to help bring this into perspective, and to remember what who this is for.  Thank you!     
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Thursday, October 27, 2011

Red tape

We have officially applied with our home study agency and are awaiting approval!  Thankfully, we found a highly recommended agency that does not have any policies against breaking birth order or artificial twinning (adopting a child within a year of N's age on either side).  It would be ideal to adopt a daughter a year or more younger than N, but India's policies make our age range narrow enough without adding more restrictions, thank you very much!  

The Lord has also answered our prayers by quickly reassuring us of our choice in an adoption agency.  We raised over $1,000 at our yard sale last weekend (with more items still being sold on craigslist), but need $4,950 to send in with our initial application to the adoption agency.  We are trying to move our personal funds around in such a way as to make the remainder of that necessary money accessible.  The wheels of bureaucracy turn far too slowly for me.  However, the moment those funds become available, we'll be over-nighting our application to our agency.  Once we're approved, they'll send us our dossier, which we can work on while we're doing our home study since they will require a fair amount of duplicate documentation.

That will be the first and last time we have control over the timing on any part of this journey.  I am impatient for that to be done so that we can officially be "in line" for India to give us a referral for a child, which will likely be a long wait.  But at that point, we will have done all that we are responsible for, and will be waiting on them, or rather, on the Lord to show us our baby.  Pray with us that our funding becomes accessible quickly so we can finally leave the starting block and hit the first stretch of the marathon hard!      
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Monday, October 24, 2011

Two roads diverged...

We would appreciate your prayers over the next week or two as we make a final decision on which agency to use for our adoption.  The Christian agency we originally wanted to go with will likely be doing our home study one way or another, but we have been leaning toward going with an adoption agency that has a much larger, more stable India program.  Our age window for a referral is somewhat small because of our ages as adoptive parents, as well as India's requirements and preferences as they adopt out their children.  We believed that an agency with more experience and established relationships would make it more likely for us to get a referral within the necessary age range in a timely manner.  

Now, CARA (India's branch of government that regulates adoptions) has taken referrals out of the hands of individual agencies and orphanages, and put it in the hands of the government.  That means, that while our original agency of choice still has a coordinator in India working closely with the governmental officials choosing referrals, the control ultimately lies with CARA.  

It looks like our home study agency would be significantly less expensive for the adoption process than the more India-savvy agency, and I love that they are actually a Christian agency.  Before, it just seemed so clear to go with the agency that has the most established relationships, connections and experience in India, but it seems the government has now negated quite a bit of the sway they previously had.  However, it sounds as though the relationships already developed will still provide some influence.  So we're trying to decide which way to go.  Ultimately, we believe the Lord has already chosen a child for us and will lead us to her by whatever means He chooses, even if it is not the way that seems the most likely for whatever reason.  Our concern is in discerning what His perfect will is for us on this specific decision so that we stay right in the middle of the path He has set before our feet.  Please pray with us as we listen for His leading!  Thank you, dear friends and prayer warriors!  We know the Lord will answer!
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Sunday, October 23, 2011

Yard Sale Success!

Well, we worked hard, and with the help of several donors, and a couple of helpful friends, we raised $800 for our adoption fund!  We passed some of our donation boxes along to someone else, but we still have several bigger items (and when I say several, I mean one side of our garage is packed full) that we are selling on craigslist.  You can view a basic list here and I will gladly respond to emails for more details on particular items.  If you know anyone looking for baby gear, kids clothes, furniture, toys, etc., please send them our way!


We have our first meeting with our local home study agency tomorrow.  We'll get some paperwork to take home and start working on, and upon completion, we'll pay our application and home study fee, which will be roughly $1800.  We're hoping that between the yard sale and the remaining craigslist items, we will be pretty close to paying for that completely.  


I am so grateful for our friends, Gary and Vicki, who came out bright and early Friday morning to help move all our yard sale items out into the yard!  N wasn't feeling well and was up very early, and I was the one who had everything organized and priced (mostly in my head), so I really needed to be out there.  There is no physical way I could have gotten all those tables and boxes out there on my own, so they were absolutely my heroes!


We had some sweet friends come out Friday and Saturday to support, and a couple of people who wrote checks for their items, that when I looked at them, were four times the amount due!  I was blown away by their generosity.  We met some new friends from the neighborhood, one of which is actually from Delhi!  He was so kind, and offered to help me with language in anyway he could (since he speaks 3-4 Indian languages!).  We don't know which state we will be adopting from, yet, but it is wonderful to know that we have someone close by who is willing to help in that way.  


All in all, the weekend was a success.  I am wiped out, and haven't managed to sleep through the night for three nights now.  Hopefully, the stress from last week and the weekend will start to dissipate, and we'll be able to take it easy between church this morning and small group tonight.  =)  Thanks again to those who donated, helped, and gave this past week!  We couldn't have done it without you!
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Thursday, October 13, 2011

A New Journal

About two and half years ago, I went to Target and bought a journal to write about my pregnancy with N.  Yesterday, I went back and bought another one to document this pregnancy of the heart.  Many of my emotions are similar and just as surreal: joy, anticipation, anxiousness, wonder.  At the beginning of my first pregnancy, before I could see or feel any signs of the little life inside my body, I constantly felt nervous, wondering if "Li'l Bit" was ok.  I hated referring to our baby as "it," but I didn't know whether to say he or she.  As time went on, I could feel her move, and we found out that the little dress I bought at 8 weeks pregnant on instinct would indeed get some use!

It is strange for me to think that it is entirely possible that our second child is already somewhere in the world.  With that thought comes a myriad of emotions.  Like I did with N in the beginning, I'm wondering which pronoun to use, although instinct once again tells me she's a girl.  I'm also wondering if our little one is safe, but in a very different way.  I knew as long as N's little heart was beating, that she was safe and warm inside my womb.  This situation is requiring a different level of prayer and trust that the Lord is guarding and protecting our child.  I wonder about and grieve for the mama that had to give her up.  I feel a sense of urgency to get to our baby as quickly as possible, but I'm also anxious that I be well prepared to care for her in the very unique way she will need as an ex-orphan.  Again, it's a different situation, but all of the mysteries and questions that accompany it, in the end, will boil down to our Father divinely enabling me to tangibly love our child the way He loves us: compassionately, unrelentingly, fiercely.  

The only force that has ever kept me journaling consistently is my child, now, my children.  This pregnancy is going to be a lot longer than my first, and there will be a lot of time lost with our little one.  But I believe that the Lord will knit us together in spite of time, circumstance, and distance.  

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" 
~ 1 John 3:1 
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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

One Bite At a Time

How do you eat an elephant?  Yup, you got it.  Looking at a fundraising thermometer with a goal of $30-$35K seems pretty daunting.  It probably makes all of us think, how could $25 here and there possibly make a difference for such a large need?  The economy stinks and budgets are tight for everyone.  We don't always (or even often) have a lot of wiggle room to help in a big way all at once.  But just like adoption, orphan care, or any other mission, we move the mountain by chipping away at it a little bit at a time.  

So we don't have big chunks of money to dole out to every need that comes along.  And thankfully, that's not necessary, because what we do have is time.  I did some math, and here's what I've come up with: If we had 50 people who would commit to give $25 a month over the course of the next two years (our approximate time line from the time of application), our adoption would be FULLY FUNDED.  That is without any other fundraising factored in.  How great is that??  Having 50 people who are willing to forgo Starbucks a few times each month would literally bring our child home!  Can't swing $25?  No problem; every little bit adds up.  Want to do more?  That is fabulous as well!  Just let us know what your number of choice is, and each month I'll send a friendly email reminder that it's time to hop over to our blog and click the "Donate" button.

As of today, we officially have the mock ups of our awesome adoption T-shirts!!!  I got one of these from a friend who is also adopting and they are super soft and comfy.  Plus, they get the face of adoption out there, and provide a way for us to tell our story (or for you to tell it for us!) when people ask about the shirts.  The shirts are a Thank You for anyone who makes a $25 donation to our adoption fund.  BUT, anyone who commits to giving at least $20 monthly will get their T-shirt with their first donation!  You can check out the design and color choices here.  

As always, please share this post and our blog with your friends.  There are so many ways to help without anyone having to be strained financially.  We just need to get the word out!  So grab your dipping sauce of choice, because we are going to tackle this together, one bite at a time. 


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Thursday, October 6, 2011

How you can pray

As of now, we are fervently praying that the Lord will quickly provide the funds for us to get this lengthy process started.  We fully believe that the Lord's timing is perfect.  We also know that there can be no progress made in this marathon until we have crossed the starting line.  Please pray with us that the Lord would open the flood gates and provide abundantly in ways we have not even imagined yet. 
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How to Help

Help us spread the word!   
Donate directly to our Adoption Fund:


Or, if you prefer to make a one time or monthly tax deductible donation you can do so by mailing a check(s) to JMI at:
Justice and Mercy International 
1810 Columbia Ave, Suite 100 
Franklin, TN 37067
or online here.
*Please specify that it is for our adoption in both cases*

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Monday, October 3, 2011

Adoption Sale Fund Raiser

I come from a long line of garage salers, and I'm about to make Mamaw P. smile up in heaven.  We are planning an Adoption Fund Raiser Sale for the end of the month (most likely on 10/29).  Our goal is to come up with $5K as quickly as possible so we can get our application in and get this long process started!  

If you or anyone you know has stuff that you want out of your house, we would love for you to donate it to our sale!  Or, if you have something big and you don't want to move it, we'd be happy to craigslist it for you if you're not craigslist-savvy on your own. =)  If you are out of town, but want to help, would you consider putting together a sale in your neck of the woods and donating the funds raised?  We are very open to and grateful for your support on whatever terms are most convenient to you.

We'll have more details coming soon, but in the meantime, please give me a shout if you would be willing to help us out!  You can drop stuff off, we can come pick it up, or we can find a place to meet.  Just let me know what works for you!  Even if this isn't your thing, please feel free to share this blog with anyone and everyone you know.  We're trying to get the word out to as many people as possible!  
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Saturday, October 1, 2011

Ideas?

Well, we made the big announcement, and now we're putting our noses to the grindstone and getting to work.  As I mentioned in a previous post, we are looking at the adoption process probably taking anywhere from 2-3+ years from the time we apply with our agency.  Long time to wait.  We know our newest addition will be worth it.  However, in order to turn in our application, we first need to come up with the initial installment of the agency fee which is just under $5,000.  

We have our handy little Propay "Donate" button here, and a link to do your normal shopping through amazon.com for our benefit.  That's a good start, but we need some ideas for ways to come up with that rather significant amount of money in a relatively short period of time.  The longer our application is delayed, the longer our little one is living in an institution without a mommy and daddy.

Spreading the word and utilizing any of the aforementioned opportunities would be greatly appreciated, but I would love to hear your ideas for fundraising.   Do you know any bands/artists (that people have heard of- no offense fellow undiscovered musicians =)) that might be willing to do a benefit concert?  Does anyone have anything they would be willing to let us sell in a garage sale or on craigslist?  Does anyone have experience putting on a sports tournament or bake sale of some sort?  Let's hear those brilliant ideas! Thanks in advance for your help!
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