We're approaching Good Friday, the day we remember our Savior carrying his cross on wounded back, only to be spread across a tree, all for love. He calls us to follow him, to pick up our own crosses. And as we join him in the Via Crucis, the way of the cross, our hearts are heavy with repentance and gratitude for his sacrifice. We are stirred from our slumber. We preach sermons and lift up songs about following him.
Everyone loves to sing that one...
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders...
We sing, and weep, and raise our hands. We feel a deep longing for such intimacy in the midst of the mundane.
Then, maybe one day, He does just that. What then? Maybe, like Peter did when Jesus called, we leap out of the boat and begin to walk on the water. Suddenly, we're distracted by the coolness of the sea lapping about our ankles, then swirling around our knees... crashing against our chests, and the next thing we know is deep gulps of briny ocean choking off our air.
The thrashing begins.
While there are those who walk boldly down the road the Lord has set before their feet right from the start, I would wager that many who are not nudged, but blasted outside their (jargon alert) comfort zone- what we know, what we perceive ourselves to be "good at" or gifted in- there is a time of thrashing. Between waves splashing into our eyes and mouths, we frantically look around for help, grasping at the air for a hand to draw us out of the deep water.
We wonder why in the world we jumped out of that blasted boat, why we were led on this journey, what good it could possibly do when we feel like we're failing so monumentally in our hearts.
Have courage, dear heart.
Eventually, the thrashing begins to ease. We stop fighting the fear, the discomfort, the sorrow, the resentment, and we embrace it all. We finally start to sense that Voice we were desperate to hear, whispering that it is well, and we are Beloved.
Listen to me. You are Beloved.
See, even though we may "know" better, we perceive God as loving the way we love: trying to love selflessly, but secretly expecting a return on our investment; saying we forgive, but internally keeping score; hurting those we love most in spite of our best efforts at perfect love.
But that is not Love.
We've been told to "be Christ" in a world that needs him. And we should let our light shine so that others may come to know him. But that light isn't ours, and it never was. We simply carry it. We focus so much on the going and doing that we forget the crucial element of sitting and being. Being still, that is. Being loved, fully and completely. Believing that we can't do a thing to be loved any more... or any less. God isn't keeping score, dear one. He is Love. He is slow to anger, abounding in love. When we confess to him, no matter how many times we've fallen on our faces before for the exact same thing, He not only forgives, but forgets. We are the ones who dredge up our past failures. He is drawing our gaze back to his.
It's forgotten. Don't be crippled by it anymore.
The going and doing is amazing and necessary, but it begins to feel rather hollow without being filled up by the sitting and being. Rest. Breathe. Be. You are loved.
And when we relax, and exhale, and look into the eyes of our Savior, who has always been there loving us through our wild thrashing and flailing, it is well with our souls. No matter what.
But that is not Love.
We've been told to "be Christ" in a world that needs him. And we should let our light shine so that others may come to know him. But that light isn't ours, and it never was. We simply carry it. We focus so much on the going and doing that we forget the crucial element of sitting and being. Being still, that is. Being loved, fully and completely. Believing that we can't do a thing to be loved any more... or any less. God isn't keeping score, dear one. He is Love. He is slow to anger, abounding in love. When we confess to him, no matter how many times we've fallen on our faces before for the exact same thing, He not only forgives, but forgets. We are the ones who dredge up our past failures. He is drawing our gaze back to his.
It's forgotten. Don't be crippled by it anymore.
The going and doing is amazing and necessary, but it begins to feel rather hollow without being filled up by the sitting and being. Rest. Breathe. Be. You are loved.
And when we relax, and exhale, and look into the eyes of our Savior, who has always been there loving us through our wild thrashing and flailing, it is well with our souls. No matter what.
When we are free to rest in how He loves us, we are free to love others the same way. Not to go and "be Christ," because only He can be himself. No, we go out to be loved by Christ, for all to see, and to offer the same deep breath of life to those around us. You are loved; you are accepted; you are safe with us.
I will say it again: You are Beloved. Walk in that Love today. And if there is a moment, or lots of moments when resentment wells up in you, or fear and insecurity get a choke hold, stop gasping and sit still. Start thinking about how He loves us... how He loves you. And breathe.
I will say it again: You are Beloved. Walk in that Love today. And if there is a moment, or lots of moments when resentment wells up in you, or fear and insecurity get a choke hold, stop gasping and sit still. Start thinking about how He loves us... how He loves you. And breathe.
