2008
January's almost over and I'm not even anywhere close to finding solid materials for my thesis. My 4-day-old lap top I bought has crashed and is now back at the Fujitsu Service Centre. Clearly, I am greatly frustrated and more. I have been questioning a few things lately. I'm not sure if things have come to this because I was ignorant or that I have purposely ignored the signs. I think it came as a rude shock, that the one person I thought I was close to didn't feel comfortable confiding in me. Yes I am disappointed but I guess that is one of the realities of life that I must get used to. I think what I have in my mind is possibly what I want our friendship to be. But alas, we're not. We
have drifted apart. That, in my opinion, is the most painful thing to accept and swallow. I think I'll just stop calling/messaging etc. I acted out of concern and I guess also because I wanted answers to when I started being insignificant. But I guess I forgot one thing - that my searching for answers came at the wrong time. Everyone's busy and have their own plans/lives.
Till we meet again :)
9:25 AM
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Sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga
If everything could go wrong, it did last Wednesday. I was supposed to submit my ISM essay by 5pm that day. I told my supervisor that I could make it, with a smile. But who am I kidding mans? At 12 pm on that dreaded Wednesday, I was still frantically editing the first part of my essay cos well, the sentences sound funny, the thesis statement isn't clear, the essay doesn't flow etc. That notwithstanding, I somehow managed to convince myself that I could actually edit the second part of the essay during the 2 - 5pm break that I have that day- no problem Syahidah! But alas, lo and behold, my lap top had to crash just as I left my house. I tried to turn it on time and again but to no avail. On top of that, my thumb drive started to cause some problems. Needless to say, I was horrified and was a complete nervous and emotional wreck.
Thankfully, there was a silver lining in this dramatic story. I got an extension (
phew). Shamir also managed to salvage all my computer data on a portable hard disk (
double phew). Maybe it's a sign that God still loves me but I pray that he won't put me through this test again.
Till we meet again :)
9:20 AM
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The last stretch
The semester's coming to a close real soon. As such, there are a million-and-one essays to do, presentations and what-not. I hate this period not only because there's just so much to do, but also because I feel most vulnerable during times like this. I know it's pointless to ask "what if" questions, but sometimes I just can't help it.
Need to focus.
Till we meet again :)
11:38 AM
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Reflections
UNGU - Surga Mu
Segala yang ada dalam hidupku
Kusadari semua milikMu
Ku hanya hambaMu yang berlumur dosa
Tunjukkan aku jalan lurusMu
Untuk menggapai SurgaMu
Terangiku dalam setiap langkah hidupku
Karena…
Kutahu…
Hanya Engkau…
Tuhanku…
[Reff :]
Allahu Akbar
Allah Maha Besar
Ku memujaMu di setiap waktu
Hanyalah padaMu
Tempatku berteduh
Memohon ridho dan ampunanMu
Tunjukkan aku jalan lurusMu
Untuk menggapai SurgaMu
Terangiku dalam setiap langkah hidupku
Karena…
Kutahu…
Hanya Engkau…
Tuhanku…
[Back To Reff :]
Allahu Akbar
Allah Maha Besar
KumemujaMu di setiap waktu
Hanyalah kepadaMu
Tempatku berteduh
Memohon ridho dan ampunanMu
Allahu Akbar
Allah Maha Besar
KumemujaMu di Setiap Waktu
Till we meet again :)
2:51 PM
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Ramadhan mubarak
The earthquake that hit Sumatra and the ensuing tremors that rocked parts of Singapore on the 1st of Ramadhan made me realize how vulnerable we are as humans. And that life is
short. We could all have been hit by the earthquake but Alhamdulillah, God's still giving some of us time to increase our deeds in this world. I pray that this year's Ramadhan will be better than last year's and that I will be a better Muslimah at the end of it. Most importantly, I hope and pray that I will live to see the next Ramadhan. Insya Allah.
On a different note, I am very happy with the lecture series organized by the Malay Studies Department. I especially enjoyed the Ziba Mir-Husseini talk. She's such an entertaining speaker! The list of new activities drawn up really adds to the vibrancy of the department. It's very refreshing and definitely a welcomed change.
Till we meet again :)
7:34 PM
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Keeping the faith
It's very hard to work for something you don't feel strongly for. I told myself that I won't make the same mistake again but I think some emotions are harder to overcome. Why must everything be so heavily interconnected?? Why do I hate and love something both at the same time? It's not even logical & doesn't even begin to make sense! Sometimes I feel like I'm not needed in the society at all. Like my opinions don't really matter. It's as if I'm just here cos I am good friends with someone who is an asset to them. But at other times, I feel like doing more for the society.
SIghhhhh
Till we meet again :)
9:05 AM
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New beginnings
Congratulations to my dearest cousin Abby on her engagement. May their journey towards marriage be blessed by Him, Insya Allah.
On a different note, I've finally settled the module issues with the Malay studies department. I'm also thankful for the discussion with Dr Suriani & Dr Putten. Alhamdulillah! Although I'm feeling a little pensive cos I do not really know what's in store for me, I'm very much looking forward to the new semester. Insya Allah things will work out fine.
Till we meet again :)
10:05 PM
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